Love in Chinese
by velvet-prosthesis
Summary: You know what’s really bad for you Ego? It’s not the fact that your girlfriend dumped you first. It’s the fact that you are attracted to your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. AU, ItaSasuIta
1. My ex's Boyfriend

- **Warnings:** incest, slash, yaoi. And some base language, as usual. / Rated **M** for future lemons. / **No** Spoilers.

- **AU**: Action placed in Japan mostly because the characters have Japanese names. This story has still a lot of 'occidentality', as usual.

- No **honorifics**. They have been abolished from this story because I'd cringe if I wrote Sakura calling Itachi-kun, and because of the circumstances Itachi would probably have to call Sasuke-kun, and for some reason my mind can't process that.

- Edited by: **Kyarei** (thank you so much! :D)

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**Love in Chinese**

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_Never let your heart open with the spring flowers:_

_One inch of love is an inch of ashes._

_- Li Shangyin_

**:: ::**

**:: ::**

Naruto didn't need the so-called Socratic methods of premises to know that there are not one, but _three_ universal truths:

One) Ramen is awesome;

Two) He will be President of Japan one day;

Three) Sakura's 'undying' love for Sasuke is really undying.

Though apparently now, there are only two universal truths.

"What?"

"You heard me." His best friend repeated. "Sakura broke up with me."

It _was_ true. Naruto took a slurp of his Coke, with blue eyes agape staring at his friend. Even Sai was surprised. That, or he decided to don a new facial expression just for fun.

"When was that?"

"Yesterday."

Actually Naruto had heard a rumor about Sakura breaking up with Sasuke yesterday, from a very unreliable source – Shikamaru – but of course, he didn't believe him. Nobody believes a guy who prefers to spend his spare time looking at shitting birds and boring clouds instead of doing useful things. Like not spending the entire day looking at shitting birds and clouds.

"You don't seem very upset."

Sasuke shrugged. "'Surprised' is the right word."

The wind blew charmingly, picking up the Autumn leaves off the pavement and dropping them on one of the green gardens built in front of the University. The boys had just finished their lunches, now relaxing a little under the sakura tree before they went to their respective classes. Since each one of them were taking different courses, and their classes were held in separate buildings, lunch hour became the only time they could hang out together. Sakura would be there with them too, if she hadn't broken up with Sasuke.

The four of them had been friends since the beginning of high school.

Sai was a self-confessed gay and he declared to Naruto a couple of times, always being rejected. Naruto never took him seriously, and besides, he was a self-confessed heterosexual.

Naruto liked Sakura since they were children. Sakura liked Sasuke since the day she was born.

Sasuke hated Sai, loved arguing with Naruto and was too asexual to care about Sakura's maturing body.

Then a strange phenomenon occurred, in the beginning of their junior year: Sasuke and Sakura had sex. Sure they were at that time of the age, and it was Spring and those damn pheromones were all in the air, but it was popular belief that Sasuke's hormones were made of steel. Stainless steel, in fact.

Naruto remembered that day, on the news, a not very small meteorite hit the Earth and conventionally landed in the middle of the desert. Maybe it has something to do with _the butterfly effect_ you know? Like, the gravitational force of the meteorite's impact in North Africa somehow manifested six thousand miles repercussions and caused the most unexcitable teenager in Japan an erection.

Whatever, it happened.

And it turns out that Sasuke enjoyed the act of _having sex_, for he made sure to repeat it more often, not always with Sakura.

"It had to happen sooner or later." Naruto stated. He finished his Coke and laid back on his chair, crossing his legs.

"Why?"

"Well, you cheated on her."

"Yeah, but I never thought she could do it. It was supposed to be the other way around."

The blonde sighed, knowing what he meant. His friend had many faults – being a cheating bastard was one of them – but Sakura always forgave him no matter what. She loved him so much that everyone who knew her thought that she couldn't survive without him. If one of them had to break up, it would definitely be Sasuke. Some people (mean fangirls) even thought that he was dating her out of pity.

But she broke up with him.

"Maybe she didn't feel satisfied." Sai reasoned up, after being quiet for all that time. "I read in some studies that the main reason for break ups in young couples' relationships is due to sex."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, _Freud_." Sasuke snorted bitterly. He and Sai never managed to create a real friendly relationship, no matter how hard Sai had tried.

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had known each other since kindergarten, though they only started interacting with friendly intentions in the third year of junior high school. The presence of a new person in their lives – Sai – contributed to that, as from that moment on they found a good reason to talk to each other: making fun of Sai.

Looking back on it now, they regretted being such evil brats but each of them had their reasons. Naruto wanted to get closer to Sakura, and Sakura wanted to get closer to Sasuke. Sasuke just wanted someone to hate and humiliate, and Sai, with all that faggy attitude, was just an easy target.

He still owed an apology to Sai. Though Sai didn't really care, he only accepted in fraternizing with Sasuke for Naruto's sake. Sai would do anything for Naruto.

"But you've been dating for more than two years!" Naruto stated.

"I know how to count, Naruto." The brunette snorted.

Man, Sasuke was in a bad mood. He didn't want to show it, but Naruto knew he was affected by Sakura's sudden R-E-S-P-E-C-T attitude. At least that's why Naruto thinks she broke up with him.

"You're still coming to my party right?"

Sasuke eyed Naruto suspiciously. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, you seemed a bit affected-"

"I'm not affected!" He grunted. "There're tons of girls like Sakura, why would I even care?"

Naruto felt his heart twitch. He hated when his friend vulgarized Sakura like that. Naruto had given up his love for Sakura a while back, but it still hurt when Sasuke didn't give her the attention she deserved, and she had been through so much just because of him.

Besides, Sakura was one of them. They were a pretty close group of friends. They would hang out occasionally with other people (well, not Sasuke perhaps), but they only shared friendly bonds with each other.

"Whatever, man." Naruto stood up, stretched his body and yawned. "I'm going to class. Just make sure you show up at my party tonight."

Sai immediately got up and followed Naruto, leaving a grunting Sasuke behind. His classes were held in the building right next to Naruto's.

As Naruto was heading towards the imposing academic building, he kept thinking about what happened. It was hard to believe that Sakura finally found the guts to break up with Sasuke. He didn't know if he should laugh or feel sad for Sasuke, though he always knew that Sasuke didn't like her. What was bothering now is that she broke up with him _first_.

You see, Sasuke suffers from Huge Ego Disorder, if that really exists. So was it being kinda hard for him, being dumped by his die-hard fangirl. Though despite his best friend's 'charming' qualities, Naruto couldn't help himself to feel sorry for Sasuke. It was in the blonde's nature, after all, he and Sasuke shared a special bond. If it wasn't for him, Sasuke would still be a delinquent and wouldn't be studying Law at Kyoto University.

Sasuke was an evil kid until high school. He was pretty much the nightmare of every kid in Kindergarten and Junior High. His looks granted him female fans for life (and some male fans) but even they were too afraid to approach him. Sakura was the brave girl that tried to approached him, endured his verbal humiliation, cried for years from him being such a jerk, but always stayed by his side – and later fate rewarded her by letting her be his first.

Anyway, due to 'certain' circumstances – peculiar occurrences that don't concern the matters right now – Sasuke began changing in the beginning of high school. He became calmer, quieter, more passive and less aggressive. He began to smile – rarely, but it was a major improvement. Eventually, he became a fairly normal social being (or close enough), and that evil child soon disappeared from his personality.

But one thing that never changed in Sasuke was his Ego. If his Ego was made of wool, it would attire the entire Chinese Army of Xian. Only during the last year of Junior High did Naruto find out that his Ego was essentially a plastic protection mask, to conceal his debilitated self-esteem.

Sasuke still hadn't taken off that mask.

**:: ::**

Naruto was impressed that so many people came to his party. It's not that he wasn't popular, not at all; it was because many of his friends were still from Junior High, most of them studying at another University or working, and they hadn't been talking since High School. Sasuke could be the main reason why, as there were still people who feared him and didn't believe that he had changed. A lot of them missed Naruto's previous birthday parties purposely only because they were too afraid to meet again Sarutobi Sasuke, even though it's been so many years.

But now, finally, people were able to put the past behind them. And a lot of them were eager to talk about the new hot info, still unbelievable for many of them:

"Oh my God, is it true that Sakura broke up with Sasuke?"

Funny how they were no longer in high school, a lot of them were at different Universities, but everyone seemed to be up-to-date with that little info. And everyone in that party had something to say about that:

"That bitch!" was the opinion of the majority of the female guests.

"Hurray!" Guys thought different apparently.

Naruto was still a bit nervous of how some of those people would react when Sasuke arrived. Luckily Sasuke said he would be late, since he had to take care of his bratty cousin until one of his parents got home. That would give time for people to relax, be familiarized with alcohol and marijuana, and by the time Sasuke arrived, they would be all too drunk and/or stoned to act like some resented victim and ruin the party. Hopefully.

Naruto hated ruined parties.

The bell rang at the edge of the house, interrupting his worries and reminding him of his guests. He headed towards the entrance and opened the door, somewhat hastily – inwardly hoping that it wasn't his best friend yet – and dropped his jaw in the process.

It wasn't Sasuke.

It was Sakura, with a new guy. A new boyfriend.

They were hand in hand.

What a completely unexpected image, seeing Sakura _happy_ with a guy that wasn't Sasuke… so _soon._

"Happy birthday! Again!" She smiled widely, displaying a full set of white teeth bordered by fully applied red lipstick.

Damn, she was hot. That red low-cut dress had to be made for those curves.

"Oh, this is Itachi." She introduced her new boyfriend to him. "And Naruto."

The guy was oddly similar to Sasuke, Naruto noticed. Minus the freaky hair. And the stuck-up attitude.

But there were undeniable resemblences in outer looks: pale skin, tall stature, slim body, pretty face, sharp eyes, black hair. Aah, guess Sakura had a thing for the same type of guy, much to Naruto's disappointment.

"Itachi…?" Naruto asked as he invited them inside, trying to make some conversation with the guy.

"Uchiha Itachi." He replied.

Naruto gasped. "Uchiha? You mean, of the family of lawyers?"

The guy's lips drew a soft curve, amusingly. "Yes. Of the family of lawyers."

That was too much news for him to handle in one day; not only had Sakura quickly found a replacement for Sasuke, he also had to be of the Uchiha family. The family owned the most well-known Lawyers Firm in the country. And the only reason Naruto knew who the Uchihas were, was because Sasuke applied for their merit scholarships.

By the way, he forgot to call Sasuke to ask if he got in. He should know by now. Oh well, he'd ask him once he arrived.

After entering inside the cozy apartment, Sakura handed Naruto a plastic bag containing an item inside. "Here, this is for you! We bought this together!"

Naruto was still wearing the same dumbfounded expression when he received the gift.

"Well? Aren't you going to open it?" She teased, impatiently.

He looked at the bag and removed a present from the inside, wrapped in bright orange and pink spotted wrapping paper. They may have bought it together, but it was definitely Sakura who picked the wrapping paper.

He unfolded the present and his jaw dropped again, hitting the ground harder this time.

It was a Sony Ericsson W44s! 3-inch display screen with Bravia Reality Max technology, not to mention the 3.2-megapixel camera, 115MB of memory, dual stereo… man, this phone was so cool! He looked at Sakura's smiling face, enjoying her friend's moment of deliriousness caused by a gift _she _offered. Itachi was just observing him with a serene expression.

Oh they sure had bought it 'together', Sakura didn't have the money for these kinds of things!

He was about to thank them when the couple was suddenly bombarded with Sakura's friends eager to know who her new date was. Some recognized the guy immediately – apparently he was in some magazines?...Who knows, only girls know about that stuff.

"Sakura, I'm so glad that you finally dumped that jerk!"

Tenten had to say that loudly. She was one of the very few girls that hated Sasuke's guts. Naruto didn't really understand why she hated him so much. She didn't go to the same Junior High as them, it's not like Sasuke had ever been cruel to her.

"That slut! How could she dump Sasuke and easily open her legs to someone else? Has she no shame?" That was Ino, as always, badmouthing Sakura with another girl, drinking some vodka near the entrance. "And where the hell did she dig up that hottie?"

"Hmf, he's nothing special. Sasuke is waayy better. And Sakura must've dumped him because she realized he was too good for _her_." That was Karin, the other girl Ino was talking to.

Karin was another die-hard Sasuke fangirl, though she only had chances with him when he was almost in an alcohol-induced coma. Unlike Sakura, who was easy to control, Karin liked to perform dangerous seduction attacks that scared Sasuke himself.

Soon the couple was getting everybody's attention. Two or three guys from Junior High asked Naruto when Sasuke arrived – with a smirk – and Naruto felt the urge to punch them. Fucking wirepullers, first they didn't want Sasuke at the party and now they were eager to see Sasuke's pride being hurt. Though admittedly, Naruto himself could not deny his inner curiosity for Sasuke's reaction when he saw Sakura with… but he was sure he wasn't going to react badly. It's not like he cared for Sakura. And he had changed. Naruto knew he had changed.

**::**

It was almost two hours later that the soap's protagonist arrived at his party. By that time, the party had already begun and it was at its summit: half the guests were drunk and the lights were low to promote the 'dancing ritual', where the girls try their off-rhythm sexist moves and the boys only hope they don't look like dancing monkeys. The sound stereo quality was proven when the music succeeded in reaching the last house on the block, promising to give a bad night sleep to all the neighbors. There were broken glasses decorating the floor, making the dancing ritual seem more difficult. It's not easy to look hot and drunk while trying to avoid the obstacles on the floor, discretely shaking the annoying cigarette-butt out of the sole of the shoe while doing the sexy moves.

People were in a state of too much happiness to care who arrived or not anymore. Naruto went to receive his best friend at the door, and listened to him complaining about his cousin while he removed his shoes:

"Can you believe that brat is reading Icha Icha behind everyone's back? He's so fucking spoiled… he can read adult books but he can't get a C in Japanese."

"Leave it Sasuke, he's still a kid. How did that thing with the scholarship go?"

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. He was rather impressed with Naruto for him to remember such a trivial thing. He then shrugged and replied with a pit of frustration in his voice: "They rejected me."

"What? But you have awesome grades, why-"

"I don't know Naruto. I only talked with their receptionist. She said my record had too many pages."

"Only for that? It's only two pages! It's no big deal." Naruto grunted.

"Tell that to them."

The thing about these so called do-gooders Firms wanting to help students with financial needs and hence promoting their name in social causes, is that they are all a bunch of hypocrites. Sasuke had always been a straight A student, but because he got into some messes with authorities in Junior High, now he had to deal with the stigma and be unfairly excluded from potential opportunities.

"They think having a record is bad for their merit scholarships, but they're famous for putting up dangerous criminals on the streets." Sasuke sarcastically snorted. "Fuck the Uchihas. They're only good at retarding the natural course of justice."

Naruto laughed at his friend's comment.

"Naruto, about your present-"

"Nah, don't worry. At least you came." He nudged him friendly.

Sasuke never once gave him a birthday present on time. It wasn't his fault really, he always lacked money, and Naruto didn't make much of receiving gifts. Though he knew that his friend would eventually buy him a gift – sometimes with months of delay – simply because he was too proud not to.

Naruto disappeared when he heard something falling in the kitchen, leaving Sasuke alone at the entrance of the rather dark living room. The only light was provided by three standing lamps with low-watt bulbs, covered with colorful muslin, and some sparkly Christmas lights hung around the walls, in a cheap way to imitate the disco ambient.

He walked through the moving bodies towards the drinks zone, hoping that Karin wouldn't find him before he was sufficiently drunk. He was thankful that that illumination condition made it difficult to distinguish who was who. He knew some of his Junior High 'buddies' were there, and frankly he didn't feel like facing them at all. It wasn't just because of his cousin that he had arrived so late at the party…

Serving himself with a glass of cheap _sake _bought from the man of the eels' tent, he almost spilled his first gulp when a rough hand hit his back without warning.

"I heard you were dumped! So how does it feel Sasuke, getting the treatment you deserve?"

"Go away Tenten." He snorted bitterly. "I'm trying to savor my _sake_." Damn that girl didn't lose an opportunity to annoy him. She called herself a true feminist, though she didn't exactly fight for equality, she fought for women's supremacy.

"Already drowning your grief in alcohol? So you must have heard of her new boyfriend…"

He put his glass down.

"What?"

"Oh you didn't know…?" She grinned maliciously. "And he's way better than you."

She hated him dearly, that's for sure, but at least the hate was reciprocal.

"Already?" That was his first reaction, naturally. It wasn't at all the thing he was expecting to hear so soon. Sakura… she sure surprised him.

Though Tenten didn't like his comment.

"Why not? Love doesn't pick a time to arrive, and she so deserves him. He's a gentleman, and he cares for her feelings, he's not a cocky cheating asshole who treats women badly…you know, he's a_ real _man. Unlike you."

He was so used to being badmouthed by Tenten.

"You're not a real woman either." He retorted. He was just responding out of responding to her, not really making an implicit comment about the fact that she had no boobs.

Unfortunately that's how she saw it.

"You sexist pig!" She spat at his face and walked away infuriated.

He grimaced, wiping the spit out of his face with a napkin. Seeing that his drink was also hit by her lovely saliva, he left it on the table and decided that it wasn't a bad idea to go to the bathroom to wash his face of that crazy girl's germs.

He crossed the room in hasty steps, trying to avoid colliding with hovering drinks from dancing bodies, and entered inside the bathroom without knocking. It's the men's room, they don't need to knock.

Although, he should have knocked.

The Uzumakis' house was provided with two bathrooms: one too stupidly huge, enough to fit a jacuzzi inside, and the other too stupidly small – so small that the shower was on top of the toilet. Being the ladies' man, whenever he threw a party, Naruto reserved the big bathroom for girls' usage only.

The thrifty space that comprised the men's bathroom was already occupied by a guy inside, who immediately turned around when Sasuke entered. Standing next to the wash-stand; he was tall, good-looking, hair glossier than the standard male's hair, fancy dressed. Too well dressed for that party.

His dark eyes fixed upon Sasuke's were very…mesmerizing. Sasuke found himself staring at those black spheres, surmounted by very long black eyelashes. He had never seen eyelashes that long before.

The door closed behind him and the music's beating was stifled to give the ear some resting.

Realizing the figure he was making, Sasuke cleared his throat and broke the eye contact with the stranger. The guy didn't move, staying in the same position he was found, near the wash-stand with the first two buttons of his white shirt opened. The collar was moistened and had red lipstick blotted on it.

"You better use alcohol for that." Sasuke spoke, immediately realizing what he was trying to do. He didn't know why, but his own voice sounded suddenly too boyish. "Water and soap only make it worse. Just drench it in ethyl alcohol and wait about five minutes before blotting it."

Why he was bothering to explain to a total stranger the techniques of how to remove lipstick from a shirt, was a wonder. The guy sure had a captivating appearance, very tidy and… his pale skin look incredibly soft and shiny.

Sasuke liked soft pale skin.

Ok, never mind that.

"Or you can also use dishwasher detergent, it also works." Sasuke cleared his throat, inwardly attempting to dismiss improper thoughts away.

Not that he was having improper thoughts, of course.

"Or ammonia. It works even better."

Ok, he was sounding like an idiot now. The guy didn't make a single expression or comment, just kept staring at him with a tad dumbfounded expression as if he was talking in Chinese or something. And the annoying music screaming outside the bathroom was strangely becoming louder.

The silence between them was becoming rather embarrassing for Sasuke, thus he decided to _shut his mouth up_ completely. And stopped looking at his eyes. What was wrong with him anyway, he wasn't even the talkative type!

Clearing his throat again, Sasuke walked to the wash-stand with his chin up, nudging for the stranger to step aside and give him some space.

Which he didn't.

All of a sudden, the space between the side wall and the half-wall that separated the wash-stand from the toilet/shower, seemed too tight for him and the stranger.

He practically had to thrust his body in between the side wall and the space occupied by the foreign body at the right, just to wash his hands. If the guy hadn't noticed that the bathroom's facilities were made for one person's usage only, he will notice now.

But the guy only leaned his body against the half-wall behind him, which was very useful to give Sasuke one inch more of space.

The idiot still refused to move. Didn't he realize their positions? Sasuke was almost rubbing himself on him just to perform the supposedly innocent task of washing his hands.

"Do you know," Sasuke snorted, while he tried to avoid too much physical contact with the foreign body as he opening the faucet, "'intimacy space' is not just a funny theory."

"You know a lot about removing lipstick stains." _He _spoke.

Sasuke felt a light shiver swirling down his spine and inwardly hoped that it was just a late reaction to the _sake_ and had nothing to do with that deep, melodic, _manly_ voice…

And his breath in his ear.

"Yeah, well…" Sasuke mumbled, bowing his head to concentrate all his attention on the very much interesting faucet.

Grab the soap, rub your hands against each other, splash water on your face to eliminate evidence of Tenten's saliva, and pretend that his _breathing_ is not bothering you. Maybe he was raised in Europe, where social interaction comes with a lot of physical contact.

"Many girlfriends?" _He_ asked. Or better speaking, he _breathed_.

"Many mouths."

Sasuke never felt so unexplainably coy for saying something like that. For the first time, it sounded like he was some playboy, a nature of species that he would rather not be identified with.

He wasn't the dating type, but he also wasn't the 'dismissing' type when an attractive girl wanted to give him her 'services' when he was on biological needs of…you know. Mother Nature is the one to blame. And Asuma. His foster dad always said: _"Don't reject a woman who has nothing but love to give to you."_

Ok, maybe Sasuke didn't interpret his words the right way, and maybe that's why Sasuke never had the guts to break up with Sakura. Who cares anyway, he's just a stupid hippie. Asuma, that is.

So yeah, he got a lot of undesirable lipstick 'love' marks from many mouths, in many parties where common sense says that you don't want to appear in the same room where your maniac depressive girlfriend is with a stranger's lipstick on your clothes.

Sasuke also never understood why girls insisted on putting lipstick on while they'd lose it all after a blowjob. Why not just put it on afterwards?

"You're not going to remove that?" He glanced at the guy, seeing that he didn't make an attempt to make use of his advice. He probably wasn't even listening.

"Do you perhaps know where to find ethyl alcohol, dishwasher detergent or ammonia?"

Oh, so he was listening.

Damn his voice.

Sasuke turned off the water, dried his hands and face on the towel placed below the counter – for which he had to kneel down a bit, standing uncomfortably closed to the guy's lower regions, but _no_ he was _not_ having improper thoughts – and straightened his body to open the mirrored doors of the medicine chest above the wash-stand.

"Naruto should have something here." Scrutinizing the shelves, he quickly detected the distinctive plastic bottle next to a small box of cotton disks.

Grabbing the items, he turned his body to give them to the guy while informally brushing his arm against his well-built chest-

"Ugh, sorry." He recoiled in an instinctive reaction and immediately felt like an idiot for saying 'sorry' for touching a guy on his chest.

The space was still _tight_. The walls hadn't moved. His face was stupidly burning.

"Thanks."

Discerning sombre optics stared at him, an undecipherable smile formed by the slow-motion moving lips that thanked him for the items caused an unfamiliar reaction in Sasuke, a sense of tingling in the lower abdomen.

That guy teased in mysteriousness, and everything seemed so out of the ordinary, like he was being embraced by a huge hypallage that smelled of blueberry juice and washing machine detergent.

The scent of the mysterious guy's shirt was still softly tickling inside hit nostrils, and he noticed-

_They were too fucking close._

"A-hem, guess you don't need my help anymore." Mumbling tangled words, he broke the uncomfortable eye contact with the guy and decided he had had enough time inside that bathroom.

What a strange guy… didn't his mother teach him not to stare at people like that? Man, those eyes and that face could almost-

Forget it. Sasuke was straight.

He closed the door behind him and walked towards the drinks' zone like a scared cat with his tail between his legs.

**::**

What the hell was that?

It's like his heart had been fed adrenaline; like before you jump off a bridge with nothing but a frail-looking rope tied around your ankles, except that he didn't try to do bundgee-jumping, he just went to the men's room!

He slid his hand to his belly, as if he was trying to track the faded "tingling" sensation. Odd feeling, and annoyingly opportune, like he would ever admit to himself that a stranger could make him feel so… nervous.

'_Get over yourself.'_ He mentally face-slapped himself.

He didn't understand what happened in that bathroom and, since he did _not_ want to understand it in first place – that would take acknowledgement of some sort of emotion that belonged to some sort of fifth dimension – he grabbed the one bottle of _sake_ displaying on the drinking table and poured some on an unused plastic cup. Drinking it in three gulps, hoping that the liquid would burn his throat enough to persuade his mind _not_ to think about-

He had this slight pinkish tone on his lips. That stranger, you see. Sasuke never met a guy with lips like that. Generally guys have skin-toned lips, or dry whitish lips that screamed for a moisturizer, or swallowed lips combined with colored lipstick marks and a dose of disgusting vain. Sasuke was a good observer. But this guy…

Yeah, that really wasn't working well.

He threw his head backwards and spilled the remaining liquid inside the bottle of _sake_ down his throat, attempting to drink those awkward thoughts away. Though he stopped abruptly when he saw through the corner of his eye the unique pink head of Sakura walking towards him.

He put the empty bottle down, suppressing a hip from drinking too fast, and waited for his ex-girlfriend to reach his spot.

She wasn't alone. That guy was following behind her, as Sasuke immediately recognized the tall figure concealed in his fashionable mysteriousness, too well dressed for that party, emerging through the dancing bodies with unprecedented elegance-

They were hand in hand.

"Sasuke! You're here." Sakura was now in front of him, grinning like there was no tomorrow, and the stranger was right next to her, eyeing him with apathy like there had never been before.

Sasuke tried to mutter out a sarcastic response (a statement like that was only asking for it) but his mouth opened to silence. The guy was staring at him.

"This is Sasuke, the one that I talked to you about."

He was supposed to nod and say 'hi', but Sasuke found himself unable of performing the ceremony of social introduction when he was still fighting an inner struggle to control the adrenaline of his processing mind and the stupid tingling in his belly and all the things a proud man like him wasn't supposed to feel.

(The guy said 'hi', apparently.)

"This is Itachi." Sakura said _his_ name. The guy nodded. The guy smiled. The guy's name was Itachi.

His shirt collar was moistened and clean.

(So was his slight pinkish-toned lips)

"My boyfriend." _She added_.

And as if the words weren't enough to believe – Sasuke barely had listened to her anyway – she grabbed the guy's shirt and pulled him into a kiss, catching his lips so unexpectedly that one could say even _he_ was caught in surprise.

Sasuke was left to stare at them, kissing like a _couple _– oh, wait, they _were_ a couple – facing an even bigger inner struggle with the _sake_ dancing in his stomach, and the fucked up adrenaline and all the things he was hating feeling right now, but he couldn't put a name on them.

His ex-girlfriend was boldly right in front of him, eyes closed absorbed in the task of kissing _Itachi_. And Itachi had one eye still open, still staring at Sasuke.

**::**

**::**

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Review? _Sì? No?_


	2. Blame it on the sake

**a/n:** Though I foretold you in previous chapter, this whole story will feel more American/European rather than Japanese. Humorous purposes mainly.

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**::**

**::**

The Romans had an interesting fascination with torture. Tiberius's favorite method involved an ingenious instrument called _equuleus _(later known as the 'rack', the method of stretching one's limbs to death); his successor, Caligula, had the sadistic habit of watching prisoners suffer while he ate. Inventing new methods of torture was a hobby to the good Roman; had their empire lived longer they would have invented a new official profession, like Torture Designer or something.

But there was nothing easier and more enjoyable for a common Roman than throwing a man to the lions and watching for the verdict. It was profitable – a cheap way to sentence a convict, please the emperor and shut up the people's pleas of starvation, as there was always food in the Coliseum.

If there was anyone in the World that Sasuke would gladly throw to the lions, it was Orochimaru. But right now, Sasuke is pondering that it would be fun to watch someone else fight for his life against the deadly four inch canines of a starving lion: Uchiha Itachi.

One) he stole his girlfriend

Two) he's an Uchiha

Three) Sasuke didn't like the way he made him feel

Four) … there is no number four right now, but there will be. Soon.

Right now it was lunch hour at Kyoto University, the weather was too hot for October and they were all seated together in the same table. Him, Naruto, Sai, Sakura and _Itachi._

Wait. Let's rewind a bit.

**:: ::**

Back at the party.

The kissing scene took too long, Sasuke thought. Too long.

He stood there for at least thirty seconds watching those two mixing their DNA in front of him, suddenly feeling like a very small insect paralyzed by an undetectable insecticide. And then in a movie-like scene, their lips parted away slowly, and the camera captured a shot of Itachi, with the moistened shirt collar glued against the well-defined collarbone, slightly shaking his head with a heavy sigh, wind coming from an inexistent source waving his long silky hair…

(Actually there wasn't such a scene. The_ sake_, however, was stronger than Sasuke had thought.)

After the kiss Itachi's lips were marked with Sakura's red lipstick, and his face was as clueless as ever.

Sakura on the other hand, was expressing _euphoria_. Sasuke had never seen her like that when he kissed her (or better speaking when she kissed him, though it didn't matter right now). She was all grinning widely with that stupid red lipstick, her nose was slightly reddish for some reason, and then she discharged a weird laugh all of the sudden making Sasuke vaguely remember a McDonald's mascot.

He needed more _sake_.

"Hun, I need to talk to Sasuke. Do you mind?" Sakura tiptoed to place a soft kiss on Itachi's cheek, and he nodded at her wish. He bowed an 'excuse me' and left the two of them alone, walking away to the other side of the room. Sasuke found himself watching him leave, feeling the cardiac rhythm finally slowing down.

He knew he made quite a figure before them, gawking the whole time they kissed, like he was a kid in his first time with a porn magazine. Sighing he tried to regain his self-control, bringing back his usual expression of disdain to look down on a euphoric Sakura standing before him.

She wasn't grinning like an idiot anymore, but she had an overly pronounced smile on her face painted in red lipstick, which was equally annoying.

"I hope you're okay with this…"

He knew she would say that. It's so typical of Girls Who Dump Their Boyfriends. It's not that Sasuke had been dumped more than once before, but he frequently saw that happening (with Naruto, _obviously. _That guy has seriously bad karma when it comes to long-lasting relationships). Guys don't care; if they find a hotter girlfriend they don't expect their less hotter ex-girlfriend to be "okay" with it.

"Why wouldn't I?" Sasuke snorted and conspicuously started scrutinizing the table for more _sake_. Like hell he would show to her that he cared.

"You know, we just…" Sakura shrugged, her right hand's fingers playing with a lock of pink hair. "Itachi makes me happy."

Yeah, Sasuke got that already.

"..And I've been a little depressed lately, you know…" Another thing typical of Girls Who Dump Their Boyfriends: they have the _urge _to justify it. Sex is never enough reason. Eat that, Freud.

(Not that Sasuke was bad in bed, of course. If Sakura has any complains, that's because she's just picky.)

"…And Itachi really makes me happy." She added. Second time she said the word 'happy'. Better than any shrink could achieve with her.

"So you found a boyfriend with Prozac lips. Good for you. Maybe I should kiss him too whenever I feel down." He didn't mean that, but he was sounding rather bitterly.

She pouted at his response, and crossed her arms. "Can't you just be a little happy for me?"

What, _him_, Sarutobi Sasuke,happy for _her_?

"Sure."

This is one of the codes incorporated within the socialization riot, chapter three of human relationships, in which when your girlfriend dumps you and opens her legs to a man who can make her euphoric, you are supposed to be happy for her. That means you care for her happiness. Not everyone follows these codes, but Sasuke liked to think of himself as, above all, an ethical person. Note that it's important that your girlfriend officially broke up with you before the part of opening her legs to another man. If she didn't, then you're supposed to act differently_. _It would seem weird if you were happy for being cheated on.

That was one of Asuma's teachings to help him reintegrate into society. Sasuke wasn't an ex-convict, but Asuma liked to think so. It appeared that it gave the boring hippie's life some meaning.

"Thanks!" And then she opened her arms and embraced him in a huge womanly _hug._ He felt his bones cringing beneath the incredible force of a girl who only weighted one hundred pounds. His nose was invaded by her intense flowery perform and he remembered how he never liked her perfumes and never had the nerve to tell her.

Itachi smelled better.

That was an unnecessary observation.

(The hug was taking too long.)

Discreetly he glanced to the corner where Itachi was, feeling inwardly glad upon noticing that he was watching them. Though with the distance he couldn't tell the expression on his face. Not that it would make a difference if Itachi was closer. If _stoicism _was a style, Itachi was the work of art of reference.

And 'work of art' is not the best metaphor in Itachi's case.

As Sakura squeezed his upper body beneath her 'sweet' embrace, her iron forehead burying against his thorax where his lungs and heart was stored, Sasuke found himself controlling his breathing and feeling extremely awkward with the situation. Whatever she had drunk, it was stronger than that _sake_.

He wondered what Itachi was thinking about it. Sakura's hugs used to be automatically repelled by Sasuke, but at that moment he was secretly enjoying the 'moment'. Could Itachi be feeling… jealous of them?

"You don't know how much that means to me!" She finally freed his body from her Hulk strength, and Sasuke felt his arms coming back to life again. "We're still friends?"

'Still'? Have they ever been friends? Do guys really have girl-_friends_? For Sasuke, Friends were Naruto and… well, Sai when he's not talking. And…did I mention Naruto already?

"Sure." He shrugged.

With an overjoyed giggle, she turned on her heels and walked back to where Itachi was.

For some reason Sasuke felt a little twist in a vital organ inside his thorax, and a very strong will to stick around the drinks table during the whole party. He didn't want to go near where Sakura and Itachi were, both of them absorbed by the asphyxiating group of Sakura's friends, consisting of Tenten, Temari, Kiba, Neji, Lee and some others whose names have already left the back door of Sasuke's memory. A whole group of people that Sasuke was never able to communicate with, the main reason being the fact that they could be even more annoying (and louder) than Sakura. Neji was different though. He didn't talk much, which was good, but when he talked it was always something about the 'unavoidable schemes of fate', or the 'fatality of life', or any theme that had the word 'fate' in it, like a drama-queen in rehab. It was worse than Sai.

(Sasuke liked to use 'Sai' as a word of comparison. It was easier to express his feelings. Thus, if anything is 'worse than Sai', that means it's beyond Sasuke's capability of tolerance.)

He wondered how Itachi was feeling, in the middle of them. Sasuke could barely see his face from there, but he didn't look like the type of guy who would enjoy Sakura's friends' company.

Damn, why was he still thinking about the guy? Shouldn't he feel angry for stealing his girlfriend?

"Yo, Sasuke!"

Naruto appeared before him out of the blue, followed by his shadow that goes by the name of Sai.

"You're cool?" The blond asked, looking his usual ever-happy self.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, with Sakura and Itachi, y'know…"

"Of course. Why would I care?" Sasuke shrugged, insisting in his 'uncaring' looks. He was also trying to convince himself.

"Great!"

A minute of silence accommodated between the two friends, both eyeing the ongoing party and the dancing bodies in mild interest, until Sasuke suddenly decided to ask something he was just eager to know.

"What do you think of him?" He didn't know why he was asking such an irrelevant question. Furthermore he didn't know why he was eager to hear their opinions about Itachi.

"He's hot." Sai answered first. Not the opinion Sasuke wanted to hear exactly.

"Right, miss_ Paris Hilton_." Sasuke snorted, and swerved his eyes to Naruto.

"If you wanna know," Naruto grinned "I think he's cool, y'know? Did you know, he offered me a Sony Ericsson W44s!"

"Glad to see your loyalty is easily bought."

"What are you talking about man? I thought you were cool with him."

Sasuke sighed, glancing back at the hot couple of the week. Tenten was talking to Itachi. "Something about him… he's not trustworthy."

Naruto's forehead frowned in an huge interrogation point, and he stared at his moody friend for a silent minute. Then he just burst with a loud half-drunk laugh, gathering his arm around his stomach in a total hyperbolic reaction.

"What are you talking about, there's nothing special about him! He's just a guy! She probably felt pity on him and is just dating him because you rejected her, y'know? Look, he even looks like you! I'm sure that if you wanted her back she'd crawl back at your feet!" He grinned, friendly attempting to encourage the moody boy. "You need to relax man…"

Naruto clapped his friend on the back, but Sasuke didn't react to his gesture. The blonde noticed that he was still looking at Sakura, which made him feel a bit disappointed – he wanted Sasuke to have fun at his party, more than anyone else; no broken hearts. Or broken egos. Whichever. Inwardly he felt a little angry with Sakura for being so eager to introduce her new boyfriend to the world. Those things can wait, right? She should know that it would make Sasuke moody. C'mon, they only broke up a day ago! Generally it takes depression and lots of ice cream in between before a girl finds a new boyfriend, right?

And it was his birthday party! He wanted everybody to be happy! Sasuke especially.

"Hey, wanna play some cards?"

Naruto knew that Sasuke's concept of 'having fun' at a party didn't comprehend the dancing ritual like a normal person, and besides the act of drinking alcohol and cheating on your girlfriend (which was not a valid option from now on), he also knew that Sasuke enjoyed a good game of cards. There were always a group of social outcasts doing something that nobody did in normal parties, like playing cards.

The boys moved to the nook of the room, followed by Sai the Shadow, where a well-known group of convivial, marginal acquaintances occupied their spots at a little table playing Kemps: Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino and… some dude whose name wasn't known even by Naruto. Let's call him 'X'.

"Yo! We're in!"

After ten minutes of announcing their participation, Shino and X lost against the other two, and Naruto and Sasuke occupied their seats. Kemps was a card game played by two-person teams, whose goal was one person gathering all four cards of a single rank and making his partner recognizing it through a 'secret signal', and then yelling _Kemps! _before the other team realizes that he has the four cards, according to Wikipedia.

They lost the first round, but they quickly recovered it when Sasuke discovered the other team's secret signal. Shikamaru started complaining with Chouji for him being so indiscreet, and Chouji just shrugged and answered what was the point, Sasuke always won in the end. Naruto argued that they won because of his own smartness.

Sasuke didn't say anything, just listened to them with a diplomatic smirk. He didn't think of himself as a conceited person, but it was a well known fact that he was almost unbeatable at card games. He preferred to play with money, though most of the people he knew gave up in betting their finances against him.

"Can we play?"

Sakura's voice caught them all in surprise, as well as the ever-controversial presence of Itachi besides her, and the whole group of Sakura's friends behind them.

"Sure Sakura, have a seat! I won against Shikamaru! I mean, _we_ won…" Naruto said with a vigorous 32-teeth-smile.

Shikamaru and Chouji left the table and their seats were occupied by the couple of the week. Sakura seated besides Sasuke, and Itachi in front of him beside Naruto, obeying the diagonal sitting rule required in Kemps. Expectantly, Sasuke's heart began playing Beethoven's Symphony No.9 inside his thorax. Itachi had his hair a bit disheveled, some locks trying to get away from the ponytail, which kinda gave him a suggestive 'bed look' that suited him very well, and the hideous red lipstick had disappeared from his lips. He looked at Sasuke with those deep black eyes and long eyelashes…Not that Itachi had other parts of his body to look at people with, but Sasuke was… right now, cursing the man of the eel's tent for selling that aphrodisiac sake.

'Aphrodisiac' is not the right word. His mind was so fucked up.

Shikamaru started shuffling the cards for them, and that's when Sasuke noticed the quite large audience gathered around their table. Most of them were Sakura's friends. Why were those idiots interested in watching a mere card game?

"Are we betting?" Sakura asked, and Sasuke promptly looked away from Itachi's eyes.

"No…" Naruto frowned.

"That's strange... Sasuke, you're playing without betting?" She teased.

He didn't like her snotty smile, so he decided to reply:

"Since you're insisting so much, then let's bet."

"Yeah!" Naruto practically screamed with excitement. "What do we bet? Think carefully Sakura on what you wanna lose!"

She smirked. "Are you sure we're going to lose?" Adjusting the thin strips of her dress on her shoulders, she proposed: "I was thinking… I have a friend that has two tickets for Depeche Mode, and he wants to sell them. What about, the losing team gets to buy the winningteam the tickets?"

"Great! I love concerts!" The blond agreed, not to Sasuke's surprise. Naruto honestly loved concerts in general. He would even go to a Gackt's concern if it was for free.

But obviously, that was not Sasuke's case. He had more profitable things to do with his time. "No."

"Why not?"

"I don't even like Depeche Mode!" He grunted.

"Learn to like it." She stuck her tongue out, as she used to do to support her reasoning.

"C'mon Sasuke, it will be fun! We can get a ticket for Sai to come with us-"

"Fine. Let's just play." Sasuke snorted to end the discussion. He knew there wasn't a point in convincing Sakura to bet money, even though Itachi looked like a guy who had plenty of money. Besides, he pondered that he could ultimately sell his ticket to some devoted fan just before the concert.

**::**

To sum it up, they lost. Naruto and Sasuke. In five rounds, they lost 3-2.

It was entirely Naruto's fault. He spent almost the entire game gawking at Sakura's cleavage, completely missing Sasuke signaling him to yell '_Kemps'_. Sasuke was close to saying that Sakura's boobs were only a matter of illusionism, because he knew that beneath that nice curve her cleavage made she was wearing a stuffed _under bra_ and probably some socks too.

He argued with Naruto, pointlessly, and instead of receiving an angry answer from the blonde he won one of Tenten's prier comments, as it was usual every time she saw a good change to humiliate him:

"You are such a bad loser Sasuke! You can't stand someone being better than you, can you?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, but thought it better not to grant her a reply. That stupid bitch would only be happier if she knew her words annoyed him to no end. _One day_, mark his words, Tenten's tongue will be floating inside a sealed box somewhere in the vast dimension of the Pacific Ocean.

"I'm going home." He stood up soundly from the table, feeling Itachi's eyes following his move. Sasuke didn't want to look at him. He was too angry. Too angry with Naruto, with Tenten, the Kemps game and with the man of the eel's tent.

Too angry with himself.

"Running away?" He heard Tenten yelling behind him as he walked away from the living room, towards the entrance. "Can't admit defeat like a man?"

_One day._

When he opened the door he sensed someone running to him, and he glanced over his shoulder to recognize Naruto's expressively disappointed face.

"Man why are you leaving already?"

Deep down – very _very_ deep down – Sasuke knew he was being selfish. It was Naruto's birthday party after all. But it was too difficult for him to stay there for more than a couple of hours and pretend he was enjoying being sociable with all those morons; pretend that he was okay with Sakura's new date. Because he wasn't. And he hated that he was feeling so angry at the moment.

"I'm tired." He said.

"We can play another game! I bet we can win next time! I mean…" and he bowed his head, seeming rather discomfited "I promise I won't look at Sakura's boobs again…"

It was faint, but his comment did draw a laugh out of Sasuke.

It had been rather distressing, that card game, even for him, since he would almost lose himself in that mystifying dark gaze every two minutes, as well as the flow of bizarre thoughts invading his half-sober mind was starting to make him question his very being as a Straight Man. It's because he _knew _that he was Straight that he didn't want another round with Mr. Eyelashes and Mrs. Cleavage. Mr. Eyelashes can make Mrs. Cleavage seem like the most boring thing on Earth. It's a wonder why Naruto wasn't misled by the tricks of those eyes. Why did it seem that it was only Sasuke who was feeling like that?

He desperately needed to go home and get some sleep.

"Sorry, I'm really tired." Sasuke said. "Tough week." He shrugged, hoping that reason was good enough.

"Tch, fine." Naruto pouted, seeming very disappointed. "But next time you stay longer 'kay?"

"Okay. Bye." He gestured a goodbye to Naruto and stepped out of his apartment.

And the party reached an end for Sasuke. Unfortunately, the subject 'Itachi' was too far from meeting an end in Sasuke's life.

**:: ::**

Monday after the weekend, the party's main topic was still on the mouths of the students who knew the protagonists. As if the party itself hadn't been enough for the young Sarutobi, having him experiencing _reverberations_ during the weekend under the form of embarrassing dreams – dreams are just dreams, they don't mean _nothing_ okay? – he had to endure the bothersome gossip here and there, from bothersome creatures that unwillingly brought to him the memoires of Itachi and the shape of his body in Sasuke's dreams.

But that wasn't all.

It was thanks to the not-so-silent whispers from the couple of geeks sitting behind him in Roman Law that Sasuke got to know the _little detail_ that he completely missed during the party, regarding Itachi's surname: he was an Uchiha.

His name was Uchiha Itachi. A fucking Uchiha. Of all the people in the World.

To tell you the truth, Sasuke felt extremely irritated by it. Especially because he only knew about that little detail _after_ all those events at the party – I mean, all those awkward moments between him and Itachi, physically and imaginary. He was sure that he wouldn't have reacted like a dork at the party had he knew it earlier, that Itachi was part of that firm of hypocrite leeches who refused to give him the scholarship that he needed so badly.

And guess what, they gave Neji a scholarship! Has anyone ever heard about a goddamn Hyuuga having financial problems?

It's like he felt betrayed, even though he knew he was being ridiculous.

(Sasuke was thinking about doing a CAT scan, just to check out that part of the brain responsible for your hormonal behavior. Clearly, there was something wrong with his.)

The other post-weekend 'reverberations' Sasuke had to endure were related with the female population of Kyoto University. From the nameless girl sitting beside his seat, «"_discreetly_"» (with a lot of inverted commas) sliding her hand up his thigh, to the twenty-some year old professor's assistant that gave him a wink and asked him if he didn't want to '_help her out after school hours_'; College looked like High School again. And that irritated him even more.

Lunch hour came in good faith, and never before had Sasuke recognized the pacific company that Naruto and Sai provided. They talked about everything that wasn't related with Sakura and Itachi. With no wild girls in heat around, that one hour alone with his friends was being-

"There you are! You've changed tables, what happened?"

So much for the peaceful hour. Sakura's voice came from behind him to disrupt the Harmony of the Gods. It's not that Sasuke didn't like Sakura as company, but at that moment he didn't feel like baring her annoying giggles. He didn't even bother to look behind him to recognize her presence. Too much energy involved in that.

"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto smiled widely, as always. Then he frowned, as if he was trying to remember something. "Huh… Itachi, right?"

What the hell?

As if snapping out of his lethargy Sasuke turned around brusquely to meet not only Sakura, but also Uchiha Itachi, wearing a black thin sweater with low neckline that showed his great collarbones.

Oh God, he needed therapy. _'Great collarbones'? '_The fuck was wrong with his mind?

Meanwhile the couple had pulled out two chairs and promptly sat at their table, as if they were ever invited.

(Oh wait, Naruto invited them after all. Sasuke was too absorbed in someone else's collarbones to hear that.)

What was Itachi doing there anyway?

"Itachi is here taking the doctorate in Law." She explained, as if she read his mind.

"How come I never saw you around?" Naruto inquired. Good question.

"I'm attending after-hours classes." Itachi spoke to answer Naruto's question before Sakura could have the chance to speak for him again. Sasuke had almost forgot how deep and melodic his voice sounded, and at the same time he grunted with himself for letting himself feel so annoyingly vulnerable before Itachi's presence.

"Why? You work?"

"Itachi is a lawyer, Naruto." Sakura chuckled.

She squeezed his hand, but Itachi didn't squeeze hers. Sasuke noticed that. His fingers were so long that Sakura's hand suddenly looked too small next to his.

Silently he admired the saliencies of the metacarpal bones between the dorsal interossei muscles of Itachi's hand, and the joints before the phalanges, very nicely spaced between them. All the Anatomies classes in High School were now popping inside his head with double meanings.

Itachi would make a good skeleton.

"Cool! You defend the poor and the weak!"

Itachi smiled at Naruto's comment. "Not quite, unfortunately. Hardly those who need the most could afford a lawyer at our firm."

Their eyes met. Itachi was looking at Sasuke while he answered Naruto. While Sakura was squeezing his hand.

And Sasuke felt his face burning, like he had been caught in his very secret act of admiring the Anatomy of Itachi's hands. He needed to control his own _attitude_ before that guy. Sasuke hated feeling like that.

"Oh… but at least you bring justice to them!" Naruto continued his thesis. He had this weird idea that every wanted job needs to have a socialist vision, as in it always serves for the good of mankind.

Sakura's face drew an alarmed expression, as she was guessing what her blond friend was about to say: "Naruto, don't-"

"I want to bring justice to the ill-used too! Because I want to be President of Japan!"

There, he said it. Sakura's forehead fell on the palm of her hand, Sai sighed and Sasuke… would have sighed too if he wasn't so occupied in not thinking about what he was thinking.

Itachi frowned an eyebrow, staring at Naruto in perplexity. "You mean… Emperor?"

"What, no! President, man! Emperor underlies such a negative connotation you know, like the absolute authority, that's just not what I believe. I want to be a President."

"But-" He tried, but he was interrupted.

"Look, dude" Naruto leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, fixed his gaze on Itachi's while donning this '_I'm dead serious'_ expression that always looked weird on him. "I know what I want. And what I want is to be President of Japan, ´kay?"

The Uchiha was about to utter something else, but Sakura squeezed his hand harder and spoke before him: "Don't mind him, hun. Naruto is just _special_."

He eyed Naruto again a bit bewildered, and then eyed his girlfriend again, wanting to ask if that young boy did realize what kind of political system Japan had, because he sure looked too serious in his determination. Yet Itachi thought it best to remain silent, not wanting to be rude with his girlfriend's friends. Sasuke couldn't help to find that little scene amusing, and if the circumstances were another, he would have let out a good laugh.

But he had to remind himself that there was nothing amusing about having an Uchiha sitting at their table, no matter how attractive he was. Oh no, scratch that, that was not what Sasuke thought about him!

"But aren't you supposed to be at work, then?" Sai asked.

Itachi momentarily glanced at Sai, but his eyes fell back on Sasuke. Again. It felt like that guy was teasing him, as if he knew the chain of reactions he could trigger inside Sasuke's body with just one look. Bloody Uchiha. Conceited bastard.

(-stupid heart pounding madly against his chest)

"I'm on my break. I wanted to meet Sakura's friends."

The way he pronounced 'friends' sounded everything but natural for some reason. And all the while he kept staring at Sasuke, teasing him in secret, bringing heat to his cheeks.

It might be a stupid statement, but inwardly Sasuke felt somewhat _humiliated_. For feeling so…vulnerable. Against a _guy_. Against an Uchiha, from the firm of hypocrites who boldly rejected him.

"I thought you already met us at the party." Sasuke snorted. He needed to regain control of his mind. He needed to act normally to be normal, and show that wannabe lawyer that… that… nobody teased him! Or something.

"Not as well as I'd like to." Itachi answered with a smirk. His eyes narrowed a bit, dark orbs looking straight into Sasuke's eyes. Damn, with that expression he looked really…

Better not say that.

"Really? Do you want our addresses too? You know, it might be helpful to send to you the concert tickets."

It was Sasuke's turn to draw the most sarcastic smirk he could pull off, and with great satisfaction he saw Itachi's smirk disappear.

Though Sakura didn't like Sasuke's comment at all.

"Why are you being a jerk?" She yelled. "You're the one who wanted to bet, it's not my fault that you lost!"

"You and your boyfriend led me to bet, even though I'm lacking money." He grunted in response. Oh he was pissed! "And it's not my fault that you cheated."

"Cheated? _How_?

"With your cleavage. You distracted Naruto."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" She had loosened her grip on Itachi's hand to place both her fists soundly on the table, gesturing out her inner anger. "You know what, Tenten was right! You're a really bad loser! You can't admit someone's better than you, can't you?"

"Who, you?" Sasuke lifted an eyebrow in scorn, offending her even more. "I admit that your cleavage is better than mine though."

"Shut up!" She grunted. "I wasn't talking about me, I was talking about Itachi!"

Sensing the bickering turning into his direction, Itachi tried to counter pacifically: "I don't think it was-"

But he was immediately interrupted by the quarrelling two:

"Oh Itachi was there too? Sorry, I didn't notice. Your fake breasts were obstructing my vision."

"You fucking asshole!"

Naruto gasped. Wow, Sakura was really pissed to be swearing like that. And that Sasuke, didn't he know how to remain quiet? He didn't need to be so offensive. He was humiliating Sakura in front of her new boyfriend. And Itachi, that guy was obviously feeling uncomfortable staring at those two arguing and not knowing what to do.

"Hey, hey." Naruto gestured with his hands, attempting to bring some order to the table. "Let's calm down a b-"

But none of them listened to him.

"If you think you're _sooo good_, I challenge you to a swimming contest." Sakura narrowed her eyes deviously, intensifying the glaring contest that she and Sasuke started a while ago. "Come to Neji's pool party, _everybody _is going to be there."

"Against you?"

"Against Itachi."

Itachi stirred in his seat again. Second time he was called for an argument that wasn't his.

"But-" The Uchiha tried, but they didn't give him a chance.

"Deal." Sasuke uttered, not even looking at his chosen rival.

"Good." Sakura finished.

And they both reclined their tensed bodies back against their chairs, letting the silence finally dominate the table for an awkward while. Naruto was biting his inferior lip, seemingly disturbed with the arguing (he just hated when those two argued). Itachi was looking stoic as ever, but kept diverting his gaze from Sakura to Sasuke. Sai was the first one to dare to break the icy silence with a remarkable citation that for some reason, he thought was suitable for the occasion:

"_The hottest love has the coldest end." _(1)

Naruto swallowed a laugh, Sakura and Sasuke yelled at him with a simultaneous '_Shut up!'_ and Itachi finally manifested the first true facial expression, that unfortunately, only Naruto seemed to have noticed.

And if Naruto didn't know any better, he would say that Itachi looked rather _saddened_.

**::**

**::**

(1) Apparently Socrates said it. Not sure (don't trust the Internet sometimes).


	3. Don't judge a man by his swimshorts

**::**

**::**

There were two things Neji hated in life:

One) Fate. The sheer notion that premonition can overcome free will is absolutely terrifying; it fed his childhood with nightmares, troubled his quavering mind thinking that _Someone_ could be out there controlling him with a sadistic smirk!

Two) Birds. Goddamn he hated birds. Stupid animals. Shitting all over you.

He also didn't like the element of surprise. Birthdays were an unpleasant time of the year. Though, not as unpleasant as the day he was struck by the surprising discovery that he was developing man feelings for-

_~~Missing scene due to technical glitch. We'll resume the film as soon as possible.~~_

**:: ::**

Friday's afternoon Neji's house was invaded with joyful young adults, wearing swim suits under summer clothes and supporting alcohol-filled backpacks. Those who had classes opted for the responsible decision of skipping them, just so they could enjoy another hot summer-like day in the middle of October, all thanks going to Global Warming.

Neji's house became a common desired place for pool parties, not only for the obvious fact that it _had_ a pool, but also because of its convenient location near the campus. Almost all the residences in the nearest perimeter of the University were of rich families who settled themselves in the area to assure the academic future of their offspring. It was illogically reductionist, but Kyoto's main University (1) had an application selection system that favored students of closer location.

Naruto was probably the only not-rich guy that also lived near the University, in his stepfather's house (the apartment, modest but expensive due to location, was a lucky family heritage that played as a bonus when the man was trying to conquer Kushina's heart). The majority of students lived in rented rooms, the cheaper ones for the poorest being located quite far from College – society never fails to remind you that social injustices are as essential as the oxygen you breathe.

Sasuke was among the poorest students that lived far away, as he still lived with Kurenai and Asuma (renting rooms just to be closer was a waste of money, in his opinion). He didn't mind though, because thanks to his beautiful _lady_ – the Escorts Yamaha RX135 – he took little more than one hour to arrive at the University, as he didn't need to rely on public transportation anymore that got stuck in three-hour traffic. Asuma and Kurenai helped him pay for the bike (for which he had been collecting for about three years with working hours), and even though he so protested that he didn't want their money, inwardly he was deeply grateful for their generosity.

He parked her (the bike) in what he considered to be a safe place in the shade, suspiciously scrutinizing the area around. She (the bike) had been left alone these last two weeks in the mechanic's garage because some shithead tried to forge the oil filter. No worries, she (the bike) was fine, beautiful as always, and the one responsible for that depraved act was still lying in a hospital bed with three stitches in his left eyebrow.

Sasuke was welcomed inside the Hyuuga mansion by two maids, who led him through the three hundred yards of marbled floor to the backyard, passing through two hundred decorative pieces of furniture (each of them more expansive than his own house certainly).

People used to refer to the Hyuuga's mansion as Neji's house, even though the real heiress of that house was Hinata – aka 'Neji's Cousin', as she was known by most people, including her friends. In fact, Neji's official residence was in the outbuilding located somewhere in the middle of the huge shadow casted by the luxurious mansion, but who cares about details nowadays? Besides, it was always Neji who wasthe one popular enough to invite 'everybody' (meaning 100 Students out of 5000 invisible worms that went to Kyoto University); and thus Neji will forever be the greatest party-maker of the campus, thanks to the help of Hanabi, party lover and father's favorite.

There was a lot of juvenile activity in the backyard, where the enormous fancy-designed pool was. At the left, there was a mini-bar tent serving drinks, and near it a set of tables with some snacks and candies; at the right an expensive DJ was playing downloaded music. Some people were inside the pool already, others were preparing to do so, and the water had three cups of chloride and fifteen cups of _margaritas_.

He spotted Naruto and Sai sitting on a couple of plastic chairs near the bar tent, with a nice blue parasol casting an inviting shadow over them.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Naruto waved to his friend, grinning as always.

Sasuke walked over the perfectly trimmed grass to meet them with his typical sullen look.

"Lots of people here." He snorted.

"It's a pool party!" Naruto reasoned out. "Chill out, man. It's not like you were forced to come."

Pool parties were in fact like normal parties except that they were during daylight and most of the time you could actually see the face of the one you were making out with.

Which could also be a minus. It was a minus for Sasuke. He hated pool parties.

"Go grab a chair!... Oh wait…" Naruto positioned his flat right hand over his eyebrows to better scrutinize the area around. "I don't think there's any chairs left…"

Sasuke eyed around, noticing that all the plastic chairs were occupied. There weren't many, since chairs were always a better choice than the hard grass. To solve his little problem, the brunette quickly analyzed the groups that were sitting on chairs, until his eyes stumbled on the noisy teenage girls that were most probably Hanabi's friends (that's what you get for coming to Neji's parties: Hanabi is always there, so are her pimpled childish friends).

Nonchalantly, letting a tiny gentle smile surface and a sunlit hair tress threatening to fall over his sunglasses, he approached the group of giggling 14-year-olds and picked the nerdy-looking one with the thick spectacle frames and the braces, who was sitting in a chair alone.

"Hey." He smiled to her. Her friends stopped giggling and glued their attention on him. "Can I have your chair? My back is killing me." He purred the last sentence.

The nerdy-looking one's face blushed so hard that it brought to Sasuke's memories the fresh tomatoes Kurenai bought early that morning. While her friends behind her started whispering between them, the blushing girl moved her gawking mouth to try to pronounce a complete sentence through choked sounds:

"Y-ye-yes, yes! I c-wil-I'll-sit-he-here." Something like that.

She gauchely stood up, bowing for who-knows-why, gesturing him to take her chair, and Sasuke pronounced a "thank you" before he grabbed the chair and walked back with the wanted item, putting it down near Naruto's chair, seizing the left shadow casted by the parasol. He rapidly took off his clothes to reveal his well-built half-naked pale body on navy blue colored swim shorts. After removing the towel and the newspapers from the backpack and putting the clothes in it, he laid down the towel on the chair, sat down and stretched his body to the fullest, letting out a sigh of contempt.

"That's not fair." The blonde uttered, watching out of the corner of his eye the group of hysterical teenagers still hungrily watching his friend's movements. "When I want something, if it's a girl she always tells me to buzz off."

"I wouldn't give you anything either with those swim shorts of yours." Sasuke was referring to Naruto's choice of style, always wearing the same bright orange colored swim shorts.

"I would."Sai uttered.

"Why am I not surprised…"

Sasuke opened the newspapers (reading the newspaper was a habit he picked up from Asuma, though he didn't like to admit that) and tried not think about where Itachi and Sakura were, since he hadn`t spotted them anywhere yet.

Glancing to his friend he noticed Naruto had moved his chair out of the shadows (movement mimicked by Sai), and was right now handling a bottle of sunblock, clumsily smearing his overly tanned legs with the cream.

"Since when do you wear sunblock?"

"Since my dad started bitching about skin cancer." The blonde replied. "I can't put this on my back-"

"Here, let me help you." Sai promptly approached his dear friend to gladly help him with the task.

"Didn't know you listened to Iwashi (2)."

"Well, he is my dad."

"Your stepdad." Sasuke corrected.

"Whatever. Do I have another living dad?"

His response had a taste of bitterness and Sasuke felt like he wanted to swallow back his words. He didn't reply, apologetically observing his best friend acting like life was great again, as Sai rubbed smoothly his back with the white cream and caused him little tickles here and there.

In part Sasuke did understand how Naruto could easily accept a stranger in his life. His father died as a hero when Naruto was still a child, trying to save a family from a burning apartment while the firemen were still taking their time to arrive at the scene. Because of that his mother went into serious depression and had to be interned in a mental institute, and until his mother completed the six years treatment, Naruto had to live in a children's house (also known as 'orphanage', a name that Japanese people still grimace at).

They met at the children's house. All three of them, Sakura inclusive. They weren't friends exactly. They were just kids among twenty other children that lived in the same small house cheaply subsidized by the state.

Sasuke didn't really recall the conditions in which he was living before he was brought to that house, at the age of four. He once asked about it to Lady Tsunade, the householder, and she said he was found malnourished in an abandoned warehouse next to the body of his assumedly mother, whose arm was half-corroded by necrosis and still the syringe was sticking out. Not exactly in these words but for a six hear old, he really got the picture. Tsunade had never been one to deal with children, even though she did the best she could.

(She said to him, _"Don't worry, the worst is over."_

Oh boy, she couldn't be more wrong.)

He remembers that Sakura was the first girl he saw being taken away. She got lucky; she was adopted by a nice couple right at the age of seven and her only living relative didn't oppose to that (3). Sasuke was adopted a year after, and Naruto stayed in the house for three more years until his mother, whom he barely remembered, picked him up and decided to restore the family bonds.

A few years ago Kushina decided to bring a man into their household, who even renounced to his fairly prestigious "Tatami" family name to adopt the "Uzumaki" surname (supposedly out of love). Shortly after that they were moving to a bigger apartment. The weirdest thing is that Naruto, instead of revolting against it, he _accepted_ it. That's not normal.

Sasuke couldn't be like that. It's a _stranger_, for god's sake. It's not your blood. It took nearly two years for him to accept Asuma and Kurenai as his new family, and even though he would never call Asuma 'dad' or anything – he was just his _foster dad_ and Kurenai was just…Kurenai, or Crazy Woman when she was on her period. Because Sasuke understood that they were just temporary; he understood that someday, he will leave them, and find his permanent -_real_- family.

You see, Sasuke knew that his biological parents were alive. He just knew. That junkie he was found with in that abandoned warehouse wasn't his real mother, because her autopsy's report said she had _'Congenital absence of the uteri_, meaning she was born sterile.

During the first year in Asuma's house he had a sort of identity crisis and frenetically started digging around whatever information he could find that would give him some clues.

(To tell you the truth, that identity crisis started earlier with his previous 'adoptive father' – if one could call him _that _– but back then he didn't have the means, nor the healthy state of mind, to perform an amateur research about it.)

His investigation was still incomplete –better yet, almost stuck in a dead end. He found that that junkie had no Japanese identity, which could mean she was an illegal emigrant, and that left him unable to link her to his parents.

Old newspapers around his time of birth bared no relevant news about kidnapped babies, though he found a report about abandoned children and how most of them ended in cradles of drug addicts. Mostly because of financial problems, desperate couples abandoned newborns in the streets while the gods closed their eyes, as they were too embarrassed to be seen in a children's facility.

Hey, don't make that look of disapproval. Blame society taboos, blame obsolete mind, blame traditional thinking; don't blame poor families for being desperate. Because that's what Sasuke thought had happened: his parents were very, very poor, so they had to ditch him in an alley.

Whatever, the important thing was that Sasuke had more and more certainty about his parents being alive. And until he finds them he isn't entitled to consider anyone else as his parents, no matter what.

That's just not right.

One day, when he graduates as a lawyer and thus has more means to decently search for them, he will find them, and they'll regret abandoning him, cry for 20-30 minutes and accept him back.

And they will finally be a family.

"My, you're fairly early Sasuke."

The piercing voice of his ex-girlfriend forced him out of his utopia, much to his displeasure. He turned his head to grunt back a reply but his voice got stuck in his tonsils, when he met the couple in their swimsuits.

Itachi was wearing speedos.

"Yo Sakura! Itachi!" Naruto yelled the greetings, like usual.

"Naruto, you're wearing the same swim trunks again?" Sakura joked.

Itachi was wearing black speedo shorts with two red stripes on each side.

(He also had nice abs.)

(And that observation shall forever remain between parentheses)

Outside Sasuke's world, the friendly bickering between Naruto and Sakura continued. "You're one to talk! You always wear pink bikinis!"

Who the fuck wears _speedos_?

Besides Sai and Rock Lee. And professional swimmers, of course.

"That's not true! I have a lilac bikini!"

Black speedo shorts with two red stripes on each side, that clung to every eye-gluer curve of his pelvic area and bounced his quite prominent-

Oh_ fuck._

"Sasuke, are you ok?"

The brunette in question was stuck with the realization that he had effectively spent nearly one minute staring at Itachi's crotch. The awkwardness of his subconscious act exploded ferociously in his cheeks, and not even the shadow could disguise that sudden colored saturation.

"Yeah, your face is all red."

"The weather is hot." He mumbled as a response to his blonde friend, feeling extremely embarrassed for calling everyone's attention in such a way.

"Are you sure you're not getting a fever?" Sai asked.

"Oh he never gets sick." Sakura decided to reply for his sake. "Besides the swimming contest-"

"If you have a temperature, swimming is a bad idea." Itachi interrupted her abruptly. She even gawked.

Sasuke looked at him in slight surprise; his voice –surreal like all the reactions he casted on Sasuke– showed apparent concern, but his face remained blank. Itachi was again imprinting his powerful gaze on him,

(Devious eyes that tried to penetrate through his shell of human being, only to leave him trapped with his own subconscious mind)

And Sasuke watched, as Itachi stepped forward, his chiseled half-naked body bending over him while a pair of black orbs under the mascara-commercial eyelashes looked into his own; and his heart yelled as the space between them was choked, and his hand – Itachi's right hand, the perfect fingers and the perfect metacarpal bones- were so close, almost touching his face, almost feeling his skin-

Violently Sasuke snapped Itachi's arm away with a rude shove, as if his primary instincts had just woken up to defend himself from his own secret not-to-be-consumed indulgence.

"What's your problem, he was just checking your temperature!" Sakura yelled.

"I'm fine, _doctor_." Grunting, Sasuke stood up, grabbing firmly the newspapers against his pelvis.

_Breathe_. Self-control is the key word. Imagine Orochimaru in a bath full of blood, fully naked in his aged glory and shriveled discolored skin, purring out romantic words beneath diabolic smiles and yellowed teeth.

Lately Sasuke was finding this mental picture was the best way to kill unwanted erections in public places.

"I'm sorry hun," Sakura tried to excuse his behavior to Itachi, as she grabbed her boyfriend's arm and stroked the skin with her nail-painted fingers. "Sasuke is a _special case_." She added bitterly.

Sasuke ignored her comment and stood up, leaving the newspapers on the chair. His hormones were calmer now. It was so strange how his body was reacting lately. Aah, he will find out his problem soon, as he already scheduled an appointment with an endocrinologist and an urologist (just in case, it could be some sort of sexual dysfunction).

"Let's just get this shit over." He grunted, nudging to Itachi, and began walking towards the pool.

Itachi immediately followed him – so did Sakura, and her obnoxious smile ready for the outcome.

"Are you sure?" Itachi asked him, once both of them were lined up at the border of the pool. He undid his ponytail, letting his charcoal-colored hair locks fall over his chest. Damn, the guy was really well built. Does he work out?

Some occupants were beginning to leave the water to give room for the competition, under Sakura and Tenten's request. Within the growing audience of curious eyes forming around them, some bets on the guessed winner were already being made.

Sasuke just smirked, putting on his mask of superciliousness again, as he looked at the blue boring sky. No clouds. No raining in the near future. No way to avoid the stupid contest without bruising his ego.

In his mind, Orochimaru was still in the bathtub.

**:: ::**

"I don't understand what made you so upset!"

The wooden door closed behind Naruto, as he followed his moody friend inside the house. Passing through the modestly decorated living room – extremely modestly in fact, as nobody from that household seemed to appreciate the aesthetic value of _decoration _– he encountered Kurenai on the sofa reading a magazine with her usual cup of green tea.

"Sasuke a letter came for you!" She screamed before the requested male closed soundly his bedroom door behind him, and still without distracting her eyes from the magazine, she changed her voice tone to greet the well-known visitor of that house. "Hi Naruto."

"Hi, Kurenai!" He replied with a smile, but she didn't look at him. Naruto was used to it; Kurenai was not really the nicest woman walking on Earth, but she was polite at least. Maybe because of that that a lot of people still believed that she was Sasuke's real mother.

Kiba once asked Sasuke if he ever got horny looking at his mother, a question that even intrigued Naruto. Not that he shared the main opinion of his other male friends about Kurenai's body (Naruto appreciated female beauty, but he also appreciated respect for older women, especially older women that are your friends' _mothers_), but indeed for a guy like Sasuke that formed no prior judgments in regards to age, as Naruto had once the opportunity to verify, and taking the fact that Kurenai was not related by blood… it was not a bad question, really.

It was on one boring night the two of them were just hanging out in Naruto's house that the blonde dared to repeat the question left without answer, and strangely, Sasuke answered.

"_She's not my type." _

Like that, pure coldness, pure self-centered logic. He could've answered '_Because I respect Asuma_' or '_Because Kurenai is my foster family'_ too, but no.

_She's not_ _his type._ Like, 'I could _do_ her_, if I_ _wanted_. She's just not my_ liking_.'

It was in times like these that Naruto felt the urge to beat the crap out of his friend.

Regardless, Naruto asked what Sasuke's type was, and he just said he preferred them with smaller chests. After that, he changed the topic of conversation.

It was in times like these that Naruto felt the urge to beat the crap out of his friend and leave him alone and defenseless in a dark room with five Tentens.

Though he would always forgive Sasuke's disrespectful way of thinking, not only because it was _Sasuke_, but because he knew that his best friend was still in need to be saved from his past.

But let's not talk about stagnated waters now.

He entered inside his friend's room and found Sasuke conscientiously cleaning up the already annoyingly neat room, an annoying habit he had when something annoyed him. Needless to say, it annoyed Naruto very much.

"You even won! I don't get you! Why are you like this?"

Sasuke sighed and for a moment stopped trying to compulsively bend and re-bend a shirt of his without creasing. He was upset, but he didn't have the energy to explain the details of what was troubling him because he himself didn't really know.

He just didn't like Itachi.

In fact, he hated him. He hated how _nice_ he was. After Sasuke finishing the 10 laps competition only two seconds earlier than Itachi – a victory that clearly disappointed a lot of watchers, he noticed –, Itachi even congratulated him with an apparent honest smile and say something like 'that was a good competition' or something.

Who says that? It almost looked like he was happy to lose.

The worst though was when they all gathered around an organized set of three tables placed alongside the pool, filled with snacks, sweets and cakes, where a Hinata had the opportunity to shine a little by the time she presented a sickly-looking chocolate cake that she made herself.

In the middle of the frenzy for sugar, Sakura called everyone's attention saying that Itachi was going to cite a Chinese poem. It was clear that the guy was caught in surprise, as he even seemed rather embarrassed when seventy pairs of eyes started to look at him like he was about to do a complicated number of acrobatics in a Chinese circus.

And so, before the imposed silence of the dubious audience – dubious, because Neji's friends weren't exactly known for their liking in_ culture _– Itachi cleared his throat and started reciting something in Chinese.

"_Wow, that's cool!" _Naruto, as well as thirty other gawking morons seemed to be rather impressed with the fact that Itachi could speak another language. Itachi could have been citing the menu of a Chinese restaurant, but you know how it is, morons are morons – they are easily impressed.

Upon enthusiastic requests, Itachi translated the poem. And while doing that, he had placed his dark eyes on Sasuke, as he enchanted everyone else with his melodic words. Sasuke, who had tried to seem like the most uninterested person of the group, felt himself unable to ignore the voice that seemed to carry enigmatic emotions behind every line of the poem.

It was strangely seductive. The choice of the poem, the voice, the eyes staring at him.

_(Or were they? Of all the things Sasuke feared, deceiving fantasies were the worst.)_

"Is it about Itachi and Sakura again?"

Naruto had sat on his bed, watching Sasuke's compulsive behavior as he carefully stored the meticulously folded clothes.

Sasuke didn't know the _why _of his anger, only the _who_. Most of all, he didn't want to justify his possible unjustifiable anger to Naruto – in fact, Naruto shall never know about tricks that his subconscious mind played with him.

"It's nothing."

He didn't like Itachi. That's all.

_(Maybe he envied the admiration Itachi seemed to gather from the others, maybe he envied his power to affect people, maybe –really, just _maybe_- he envied Sakura.)_

"I don't understand." Naruto continued, repeating his eternal doubt. "He seems like a cool guy. He's half-Chinese you know? Sakura told me."

Naruto wasn't dumb - he was, truly, the living contradiction of first sight judgments. And much to Sasuke's dismay, he knew that hiding things from Naruto was almost an impossible task.

"And he can be half-Kyrgyzstanian for all I care." Sasuke replied bitterly.

Naruto sighed and pondered if it was worth talking to Sasuke. It seemed that his friend was becoming more enigmatic each passing day; his attitudes brought to Naruto's bitter memory fragments of the old Sasuke. Maybe it was just a phase, Naruto hoped.

Gazing at his friend he concluded that he wouldn't be able get anymore more out of him that day. The brunette, highly successful in the task of Ignoring Naruto – and by the way, he was also good at Ignoring Reality – had decided it was a good time to re-organized his CDs by alphabetic order. Sasuke was in fact trying to free his mind away from that afternoon and everything that Itachi represented for him, but-

And that poem, what made Itachi choose a poem like that? Tenten said it was for Sakura, because she was the 'special one' and a guy like Itachi must've been tired of dealing with superficial girls. Besides, Sakura was wearing a white jacket (_hideous,_ by the way). Was the poem really for Sakura? It's just, it didn't...-

_(He didn't want-)_

Whatever, Sasuke didn't want to waste any more brain cells on a stupid Chinese poem about people that doesn't matter.

It's just that, the poem itself, was still repeating inside his head.

**::**

_Outside the Eastern gate_

_Are girls many as the clouds_

_But though they are many as clouds_

_There is none on whom my heart dwells._

_White jacket and grey scarf_

_Alone could cure my woe. _(4)

**::**

**::**

(1) This info is fictional. The Kyoto University I'm talking here has nothing to do with the real one. That is because I wrote Kyoto University in Chapter 1 instead of using same ol' _Konoha University_, and now I'm too lazy to change that.

(2) Surprisingly, Tatami Iwashi is a character from the manga.

(3) Blood relations are still overvalued in Japanese culture. Japanese people are generally not delighted with the idea of adoption. It's still viewed as "unnatural" when a well-bred Japanese family has someone else's child. If an orphan child has a living relative (such as an uncle/aunt), it's required his/her consent to perform the adoption and those are rarely given, for they prefer that the child stays in a children's house and let the state take care of them.

(4) Poem from the Shih Ching/Shi Jing (The Book of Songs), 93th in Mao's ordering, translated by Arthur Waley, stolen from the Internet.


	4. Wet dreams, STDs and guardian angels

**::**

**::**

_~~Warning: The following images may disturb some viewers. User discretion is advised.~~_

So that's what it felt like having another man's cock in your hands.

He couldn't deny that there was more eroticism in it than repulsiveness. His right hand was wrapped around the base of the other's penis, feeling the moistened pubic hair curling around his little finger. The dilated thick vein was pulsing against his thumb, as he began to slightly stroke it, gripping hard the engrossed muscle.

It felt different from jerking himself, but better. Weird. But no, it did feel much better.

He began massaging the other's scrotum with his left hand_. His_ balls were rather big; and they were so soft, it felt like velvet.

His cock felt like leather. Now that he gathered the courage to look down, he did notice that _his_ cock was made of leather, and his balls were made of red velvet.

Nice. He never saw anything like that before. What a weird combination. That man was full of surprises; he was indeed a walking mystery.

And _he_ was so hard. His cock of leather was growing bigger in his hand, and Sasuke felt the need to increase the strokes as he watched the other's penis grow.

Meanwhile, the background scenery changed. One minute ago they were in an empty laundry room in the middle of unwashed clothes and Chinese pamphlets; now they were on top of a skyscraper with the wind slapping against their faces, and Itachi's hair was dancing beneath the moonlight.

Funny. It was like they were in Dubai, where the city view changes in a blink of an eye.

"I'm going to fuck you now." Itachi moaned against his ear, as Sasuke kept stroking his leather cock vigorously.

It just didn't stop growing. Wow.

In fact, it was quite scary. I mean, what if it really _didn't _stop growing?

"H-how?" Oh the fear in his voice, Sasuke resented being so vulnerable. It felt like there was nothing he could do.

(Nothing he could do about _what_?)

Itachi was grinning. He looked beautiful and scary at the same time. Long tufts of glazing black hair were swirling in the air; eyes that shined deceivingly matched beautifully the devil's smirk on his lips. Itachi was as stunning and dangerous as the Greek's Medusa.

"I'm going to fuck you in your pussy."

"I don't have a pussy."

What was this weird feeling? He was getting horny? No, he was horny. That leather cock looked nice in that size. But very scary. He should stop stroking it. He couldn't stop. He should.

"Yes you do." Itachi lifted up his skirt – wait, he was wearing a skirt? Yes he was, and as a matter of fact, they weren't on top of a building, they were in that tiny piece of a bathroom at Naruto's apartment.

Sasuke looked down to his exposed genitalia and – well, well – he had a pussy. No manhood, as he thought he had.

He had a pussy.

**::**

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargghh!"

A mortifying scream tore out the silence of the Sarutobi's household, waking up the residents of the 5th floor. It probably reached to the top floor, but fortunately or not, the couple of walking corpses of ninety-and-some years old that occupied the top floor had lost their hearing back in the 70's.

Kurenai was the first to open the door to Sasuke's bedroom, finding the moonlight-highlighted silhouette of the boy sitting in his bed. Drops of sweat on his face sparkled against the darkness; his heavy breathing trumpeted through the quiet room in unmeasured rhythm.

It scared her a bit, really. Sasuke hadn't had a nightmare in years. It brought to her memory the first year with Sasuke, when he had nightmares almost every night, and he yelled at Asuma and threw things at them and…

"Are you ok?" She asked, softly, slowly. She stiffed at the door entrance, waiting for a violent reaction.

Sometimes she wished she could be a Mother to him. Like Asuma; he was able to treat Sasuke like a son. Why couldn't she?

Only if she could just stop blaming him for things that were only her fault – the happiness of a future with her and Asuma's child was shattered when the baby was born dead, and a few months after Asuma decided to adopt Sasuke.

_-as if an unstable teenager could ever replace their baby_

That night, it was a good time to start being more motherly. To really care for him and let him know she can protect him, and the ghosts of his nightmare couldn't hurt him anymore. Seeing that he wasn't replying to her, she turned on the light, assuming finally the responsibility of a dedicated parent-

"Oh God."

Er, maybe next time. Sasuke may be frightened and sweetening and all, but he was also sporting a boner beneath the sheets.

"ASUMA!" She screamed through the hallway, making her way to the entrance hall to quiet down the hysterical neighbors knocking on their door due to the screaming, as she tried to get that image out of her head. It's not really a mother's dream to find her son having hormonal manifestations.

Sasuke, just realizing the awkwardness, rapidly shoved a pillow over his lower region and yelled angrily at the deserted Kurenai: "Never heard of knocking?"

He grunted more angry words to himself, pressing harder the pillow against his groin as he felt the stupid erection finally dying away. Half a minute later Asuma was stepping inside his bedroom, with an eyebrow frowned and a hand scratching his beard, a common body expression he used for SWS situations – Something With Sasuke. Obviously, a lot of SWS situations occurred.

"It's nothing." Sasuke grunted. "It's just a nightmare."

Asuma sighed, coming to find his seat in the bed next to Sasuke with a warming smile. He had put a hand on the boy's thigh gently, as he used to do every time he was there to be the father figure and chase the ghosts of the subconscious away.

(but –odd- _it__ had been a long time __since__ Sasuke had experienced_ _nightmares_', hm-)

"So… who was in your dreams this time?" He asked.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

Hadn't Asuma been so used to Sasuke's way to cope with the events of his past, he would comply and walk back to his room. But the secret to get things out of Sasuke is just bother the hell out of him. Make him angry, and he will tell you what's bothering him free of charges, along with extra base language and some nasty glares in between.

"C'mon Sasuke! If you tell me, I'll give you a cookie."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. He knew what Asuma was trying to do and honestly, he definitely wasn't in the mood for it. So he decided to give him what he wanted right away, hoping that Asuma wouldn't plan on giving him a one-hour 'consolation word' just because he had a weird dream. Asuma was that annoying.

"I dreamt I had a vagina."

Somehow, he should've said it differently, judging by Asuma's facial expression. Oh please don't laugh.

He laughed.

He laughed a lot. He had a really annoying laugh.

"It's not funny." Sasuke grunted, feeling his cheeks burning up. He felt like such an idiot.

"Don't be like that kiddo!" With a hand, Asuma wiped off the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "It's just with all that screaming I was expecting something worse…"

"Worse than having a vagina?"

Asuma laughed again. "I guess you have a point, ah ah. You know what's worse? I once dreamt I was a woman on her period."

Sasuke frowned at Asuma's revelation, and took few seconds to analyze his facial expression. Seeing how serious he was, he couldn't help but laugh a bit. It was always like this. Asuma may be annoying as a Jehovah's Witness during lunch time, but in the end, he did know how to make him feel better.

In a sense, there was no one else like Asuma. There hadn't been anyone else as persistent and sufficiently annoying to care for him, like Asuma. Sasuke knew that, he just didn't want to acknowledge him.

_(He was not his real father. You understand, __don't__ you?)_

"I think I would need therapy for that." Sasuke commented, jokingly.

"Aah, dreams are just dreams, son. They just exist to add a pinch of humor in our tiresome lives." Smiling widely, He clapped the boy's back tenderly. "Sleep well son. If you dream you have a vagina again, at least put it to some good use!"

He winked. And he laughed like he had told the greatest joke in the World.

Yup, there was no one else like Asuma, fortunately.

**:: ::**

_Insomnia_ was probably the only discotheque in Japan that didn't look like a discotheque. It was, however, the only discotheque in Japan where one could see Sarutobi Sasuke there.

Shiranui Genma, the owner, had initially paid a big black dude (known by the costumers as Big Black Dude or BBD) to guard the entrance and monitor minors access, but BBD couldn't tell a fake ID from a real one. Genma didn't like to fire people, so BBD now worked on the balcony and there was no money to hire a decent security guard. It's not like the police would go there for inspection either. The disco was so 'underground' that it didn't even have a sign at the entrance; its name was written with chalk on a heavy wooden door and you needed to ring the bell and wait until one of the barmen came to open the door for you.

BBD did not know about fake IDs, but he was one hell of a cocktail maker. He was also the only one Sasuke trusted to make his drinks, as he had unfortunate first-person experiences with a couple of girls with a bit of white powder and grin on their faces.

(BBD would prefer to be called by his real name – Oscar – but there 's no point in making a bunch of drunken Japanese young adults remember a name that would fit better for a rich widow's white poodle with golden laces.

BBD hated poodles.)

"How's your vodka?" BBD asked to Suigetsu, frowning nervously his eyebrow. He was always unsure of his talent when someone asked him to make a different drink.

"Sweet as water." And that was a compliment for Suigetsu. He took a pleasant slurp and turned his attention back to his ever so brooding friend:

"So how are you doing man? I heard Orochimaru is going to be released."

Sasuke was on his third whisky on the rocks, drunk enough to not shrug away the supposedly emotional impact of that statement. "Not surprising. Justice is divorced from the Supreme Court."

Suigestu chuckled, leaning back against the bar counter as he admired the view of the dance floor. The place itself was poor in decoration – the raw texture of unworked blocks of granite made the walls of the place, bedizened with some rustic lamps (not too many; just enough to illuminate the next five feet ahead of you), and some band posters.

"I heard he wrote a book in prison."

"He _writes_ books." Sasuke mumbled. "Stupid books about his stupid meaningless researches. And therapists think he's fucking brilliant. Who cares, anyway."

Suigetsu shrugged. "I don't know. Just making conversation. Hey, he doesn't affect you anymore right? Look, I'm cool with it."

"Tch."

Sasuke's finished drink met the hard wood soundly. It didn't take too long for BBD to collect the glass and clean the round watery mark left on the surface with a moistened cloth.

"Another." Sasuke groaned.

"Don't you think you've had enough-"

"Do your damn job and serve me another one BBD."

The black-skinned barman sighed and complied, shaking slightly his head in disapproval. He knew those boys very well, even though they weren't exactly regulars. They were avid drinkers – too avid for their tender age, in fact. Suigestu always stopped after three double vodkas, but Sasuke didn't seem to know his limit sometimes.

Several times he had found Sasuke puking outside on the sidewalk, and several times he had to call a cab for him – gently putting the near-fainting delicate body of the smaller boy in the backseat of the cab, paying the driver in advance before instructing him to Sasuke's home address.

Well, not so many times, but BBD still liked to think of himself as guardian angel for Sasuke. The boy didn't seem to know how to look after himself sometimes. And when he was passing out out of drunkenness, and his frail small body collapsed on the floor, and-

(BBD was 6'7" (1) tall and weighed 220 lbs (2) only in hard-wrought muscle mass. Any Japanese boy was frail and small next to him.)

And-where was I?

Anyway, BBD liked to think of himself as a toned black-skinned guardian angel with a white gown and a big, long, thick-

"Hey! BBD, yo!"

-sword, always ready to protect the helpless-

"Yo, BBD!"

He hated when his dreams were interrupted like that. He turned back to glare at Suigestu, who was at the other end of the bar stand waving an empty glass in the air.

"What?"

"More vodka!"

After certifying that the barman was not daydreaming again, Suigestu focused his attention back on Sasuke.

"What's the title?"

"What?"

The music beat was changing and becoming higher, as more and more people filled the rather small space. Sasuke repeated the question, raising the volume of his voice.

"The title of the book he wrote."

"You mean, Orochimaru's? Something about the Romans. _The __Contemporarily__ of the Roman System _I think. Why?"

"Nothing. Just curious."

BBD had put a new drink in front of him, and Suigetsu just shrugged indifferent to the why of the question. Silently, both of them finished the topic 'Orochimaru'.

It didn't matter anyway. And the music was too loud.

That night, maybe because of the new DJ, a lot of young adults dressed in black and piercings (internationally recognized as _Goths_) were outnumbering the presence of the regular costumers.

"I love Goth chicks." Suigetsu grinned, eyeing the newly arrived group of girls with white faces and dark lipstick. "They make necrophilia seem legal."

"Hnf, no thanks." Sasuke snorted. "I once fucked one that wanted me to suck her blood."

"Oh, those are the crazy ones." Suigetsu laughed. "Do you have her phone number? I could try something like that."

"Of course not. You don't even know if she's vaccinated. She could have some STD you know?"

"Heh, as if you wear condoms too."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I _do_ wear condoms. Frankly, unprotected vaginal sex is _disgusting_. Don't you think, _Suigestu_?"

The way his friend pronounced his name made him remember with bitterness the old days from the past, back when they were at Orochimaru's farm and life itself was insalubrious. Back then, Sasuke used to act all bossy around him. Maybe it was all just part of Orochimaru's experience, but he hated Sasuke back then.

"You don't like STDs or you just don't like raw _normal _sex?"

Sasuke ignored his friend's comment, continuing to savoring the cheap whiskey. Seeing that the moody brunette was not going to dignify him an answer, Suigestu decided to change subject:

"That one, with the mini shorts. She's been ogling you the whole time. How 'bout you go in there and relax a bit?" He pointed at the girl, but Sasuke didn't even look.

"I'm not in the mood." He had answered.

"C'mon man, you're bothering me! I wanna get laid too ya know, I don't wanna spend all night hearing you grunting. Look," He approached closer to his friend's ear, as the music became too loud to talk normally "I heard Goths like anal."

Suigetsu pressed the right button, because Sasuke finally drifted his attention out of his drink and decided to take a good look at the girl who was supposedly checking him out.

Truth be told, he preferred butt-fucking much better. And kind of sexy too, even though some guys thought it was gross. Morons. Normal sex was grosser. Viscous, not sufficiently tight; and when the girl was too wet, it was like having sex with a jelly can.

"Which one?" Sasuke asked when he met three pairs of thick black-lined eyes staring at him, all of them incorporated in a set of tight corselets and fifteen pound boots.

"The one with the shorts!"

The girl Suigestu was talking about was wearing extra-tiny PVC shorts and black and blue net stockings (besides the corset and the fifteen pound boots). Rather sexy combination, though a pain in the ass to strip it off, he thought. She had nice long and straight dark hair, gathered in a high ponytail to reveal her shaved nape and sides – technically, half of her head was hairless. It looked good on her; made her look… less feminine?

He liked that.

"Hey."

She said, smiling warmly when he approached her and he said-

"Hey."

**:: ::**

"Man, that was soo good! I could eat the whole menu! Too bad the dishes were so small…"

There were no stars in the sky to adorn the deserted streets of the city, but the starless sky looked beautiful as well through the backseat window of Itachi's SUV.

"You could've ordered more if you wanted."

Naruto saw Itachi's soft warm smile through the rear-view mirror before he turned his head to admire the view outside the window again, happily watching the world outside passing by in fast forward.

Whatever it was saddening Itachi during the whole dinner, it was gone, like the world outside. Smiling makes a difference, you know? That and lots of food in your stomach.

"That would be a bad idea." Sakura commented, giggling a bit. She was settled in the front, next to the driver's seat. "Naruto could spend a month's salary just on a single meal."

"Hey, I don't eat that much!"

"You ate three dishes Naruto, all by yourself."

"You saw the size of the dishes! It's impossible to be full with just_ that_!"

"That's because it was a five star restaurant you idiot." She had turned her head around to face the blond. "You're not supposed to be full. You're supposed to be _delighted_."

It struck him in full blown surprise now that he realized what kind of restaurant he was invited to. That would explain why everyone else eating there were so gaudily dressed, like they had just came from the prom's party held in the last century where the theme was Disney's princesses – honestly, do people these days have the slightest sense for fashion?

Orange makes a difference, you know?

That would also explain why the menu didn't have the prices displayed on it and why the waiter treated him like he was a walking diamond.

"You really didn't know?" Sai, sitting beside him, was genuinely bewildered by Naruto's bewilderment.

Sakura sighed something like '_gee Naruto, only you…_' and he was sure that he heard Itachi chuckling.

"H-how much was it?" Naruto gulped dryly, never once feeling so ashamed of his ignorance. Had he have known that Itachi invited them to eat at a very expensive restaurant, he wouldn't have been so thoughtless and eaten three dishes like that.

"Don't worry, Naruto." Itachi's warm eyes looked at him through the rear-view mirror. "It was my treat and my choice to take you there. Perhaps I should have taken into account the size of the dishes? I'm very sorry that you didn't feel fully satisfied."

"O-oh no, that was awesome! I loved it! I've never eaten in a place like that!"

"And you missed the experience completely." Sai said jokingly, Sakura laughed and Itachi probably chuckled again.

"Tch, Sasuke was the one who missed the experience completely."

Silence settled inside the car, and Naruto wondered if he should've just refrained himself from letting out a comment like that.

Itachi had invited all three of them to dinner with him and Sakura, which was very nice of him. He was truly trying to be accepted into Sakura's most precious group of friends, and Naruto admired his effort. Itachi even offered himself to pick up each one of them at their places, but they refused and thus they scheduled a meeting point near the restaurant.

So Naruto and Sai took the sub, and arrived to a local where Itachi and Sakura were already waiting, and the four of them chatted friendly and hungrily while they waited for Sasuke to arrive. They stood there at least half an hour until Naruto received a message from Sasuke saying that he wasn't coming.

"_Why isn't he coming? Why didn't he message me? We were the ones who invited, not you."_

Sakura was right to be angry. Naruto was also a bit angry with him. Sasuke didn't even say anything else in the message to at least excuse his behavior. But seeing Sakura like that, and Itachi's timid smile giving place to a somewhat despondent expression, Naruto just had to make up some excuse for the asshole that his friend was.

"_He's feeling sick."_

Sakura lifted an eyebrow. _"Sasuke is never sick."_

"_Er… Guess he did have a fever that day."_

"_Swimming probably made it worse."_ Itachi looked convinced enough from that excuse, fortunately. _"Do tell him I wish him a speedy recovery. Perhaps we should schedule some other time-"_

"_Oh no, it's okay! Sasuke doesn't mind." _Naruto grinned clumsily, scratching the back of his head vigorously._ "He said he wished us a good dinner!"_

Sakura twitched her nose, still frowning at Naruto. Then she turned her gaze to her boyfriend. _"Let's eat then. If Sasuke's not coming, then he's not coming."_

"_But-"_ Itachi tried, but Sakura interrupted him:

"_It would take another couple of weeks to book a table at that restaurant. Let's go."_

It seemed that Itachi was still a bit reluctant, but Sakura managed to convince him. Naruto even felt bad for letting the man think that Sasuke was innocently fighting a fever at home while they enjoyed a happy meeting in his absence, and inwardly cursed his friend for being such a self-centered bastard.

Why did Sasuke decide so suddenly not to come anyway? He should've at least told them something _before_ they left the house!

"I do hope he's really sick." Sakura had said to disrupt the imposed silent, waking the passengers of the car out of their voiceless thoughts.

Itachi parked the car in an unoccupied space considerably close to _Insomnia_, the not-so-glamorous chosen destination after the extravagant dinner. Sakura had suggested going there afterwards, to which Naruto and Sai enthusiastically agreed. Itachi didn't seem so much in the mood for staying till late hours partying, but he agreed to drive them there and make some company. Naruto thought he was just trying not to be rude, because he didn't look like the type of guy who digs going to alternative discos drinking cheap alcohol and socializing with the drunkenly young Japanese middle-class.

**::**

"What about something growing?"

Ren knew she was a very attractive girl.

Generally, she didn't have many problems in getting the hottest guy in the room. That's why she liked to play 'difficult to get', a game that all guys loved to play, whether they were Goths or not, and fed her unbelievably sky-scraping self-esteem.

But with this idiot, there was no use in playing 'difficult to get'.

This idiot walked over to her, talked to her, and she answered his questions. He seemed interested. He was gorgeous. He would make a hot fuck.

That is, the guy hadn't tried to skip the talking part yet. They were still _talking_, for about an hour, because _oddly_, this guy seemed very interested in her Major studies and her interests about Jungian and Freudian dream interpretations.

An hour! You don't waste one hour talking nonsense when you could be having hot steaming sex under the moonlight! The night was too short!

"You're sure? I think I saw a different meaning on the Internet."

What a fucking nerd. Damn, she just wanted a cute guy to fuck. She didn't want to talk. That is what _friends_ are for.

"It can also mean that you are maturing, you are reaching to a new level of spiritual enlightenment."

"Spiritual enlightenment? That doesn't make sense." He retorted.

She lit up the third cigarette with a sigh. Why she was still letting that boring chit chat go on, she didn't know, because she was totally missing The Sisters of Mercy on the dance floor.

"Look, plastic objects growing-"

"It's a leather object. And velvet."

Ren frowned. She blew the smoke. "You should just tell me what the object is."

Even though the illumination was practically inexistent in that place, she could've sworn he was blushing. Damn, the guy was just too _fuckable_. Only if he would just stop asking her boring questions…

"It can depend on the object." She explained. "But growing itself is mostly associated to spiritual enlightenment. I'm not saying anything like blasphemy okay?"

Sasuke looked at her suspiciously. Connecting Itachi's growing leather cock with spiritual enlightenment is what seems like blasphemy, he thought bitterly.

He drank the rest of the alcohol of his fifth drink that night, feeling suddenly dizzy. He had reached his limit long ago. He glanced at the place where Suigestu was supposed to be, recognizing through his blurry vision the pale head of his friend buried in someone else's uncensored big cleavage.

"This isn't working." The spinning in his head was worsening, but as he prepared to leave the table to go outside, his arm was pulled back and the next thing he knew Ren was trying to climb over his lap.

"You're not thinking of leaving me here alone, are you?"

She kissed him roughly and he let her nicotine flavored tongue ram through his mouth. Her hips were rubbing against his groin and her hands were pressing against his chest, but he could not feel the pleasure with the dizziness in his head. He shut his eyes, trying to forget the amount of alcohol boiling in his brain and concentrate on the nice friction against his groin, trying to think of anal sex and blowjobs and straight fucks.

Though that didn't really work. But he was too drunk to care.

"You're getting hard…" She purred in his ear.

Yeah he was hard, too drunk to care, and Itachi was stripping off black _speedos_ with red stripes in his mind.

**::**

Never before Naruto had wished so badly that Sasuke was really sick at home – and with a nasty diarrhea case. Because that… _that _was really _really_ bad.

His super night vision eye had quickly spotted Sasuke's bike resting under a recondite shadow, so he knew Sasuke was at Insomnia also. He had tried to say something – maybe "why don't we go to some other bar? Tonight's DJ doesn't seem very thrilling!" – but Sakura had already entered inside and Itachi followed her.

Sai just shrugged and entered inside too.

After they entered the disco, they were almost immediately presented with the lovely sight of Sarutobi Sasuke, all mighty and healthy, groping eagerly the buttocks of some chick on top of him that looked like she was trying to devour him alive.

Sakura just snapped. She flew to the lovers' niche in her hurricane walking style and practically plucked the girl off of Sasuke in her typical Hulk grace.

Naruto sweat-dropped. Sakura could be very _very_ scary when she was angry. She managed to throw to the floor an intimidating looking chick wearing boots that looked like bricks wrapped in trash bags, with just one arm and didn't even flinch.

Even Sasuke was gawking.

"How can you do this to us?" She screamed, so loud that even with the loud music playing, Naruto was sure that everyone could hear her. "We were waiting for you for almost an hour! We thought you were sick! What, you thought that getting drunk and fucking another whore was more enjoyable than being with your _friends_?"

Sasuke flinched when he felt a sharp pain scratching inside his head, triggered by Sakura's screaming voice. He was too drunk to be able to endure one yelling Sakura, but to his misfortune, Ren started selling her fish too.

"Who do you think you are, you crazy bitch?"

It wouldn't be the first time Sasuke watched girls fight because of him. But experience dictates that when Sakura is involved and your brain is giving birth to three kilos of a massive headache, you don't want to stay there until the final round. So he just jumped out of his seat with a hand supporting his heavy forehead, and he flew toward the entrance door, stumbling on some bodies along the way.

He was welcomed with cold air and the night's quietude after he exited the place. God, he needed that.

Peace.

_(Was it Itachi back there?)_

Peace…

Take a deep breath. Air in. Air out.

It was not just the headache; his stomach had been starting to climb up his gullet since Ren made herself comfortable on top of him. The sickening feeling just got worse with Sakura's hysteria.

Take another deep breath.

Everything was so quiet outside. That area was located basically at the downtown's nook, where the road had narrowed its way to fit in between blocks of old buildings and walls full of graffiti and fallacious shop-windows.

Aah, he was feeling better now. He breathed deeply again, feeling pleasantly the cold air refreshing his insides. The alcohol in his stomach had stopped turning somersaults-

_(Punch!)_

An unidentified fist collided against the right side of his face, with such brute strength that he almost swallowed his own jaw. His body lost balance and he landed hard on the wet cold stones of the sidewalk.

"Well, well, well. Ain't it the infamous Sarutobi Sasuke!"

Laughs were echoing, everywhere. His cheek was swelling like a balloon and hurting like a bitch. Who were they?

He looked to his side but he couldn't distinguish the face of his attacker. The world outside was dancing around him. He noticed however there were more than two guys coming in his direction.

Or were there four?

"Wha- It's really him, Kenji!"

"Told ya. I could smell his cockiness from across the block!"

Laughs, laughs, all he heard was fucking laughing! He tried to get up, gathering some strength on his unexpectedly weak limbs, but a sudden kick in the stomach, possibly from the same attacker, brought his attempts to a halt.

He was too drunk to fight. Who where they?

Bah…too drunk to care.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's bring him there."

The next thing Sasuke felt was being dragged somewhere, because the building's edges around him were moving and the cold floor stone were scrapping against the back of his head.

"Let's teach him the lesson he deserves." One of them said.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked. It felt like he had to make a great effort just to ask that question alone.

Unfortunately the strangers didn't appreciate his answer, because he received another kick, this time in his ribs. It hurt. Fuck.

"You don't remember us, you dickhead?" The guy grabbed him by the collar of his sweatshirt, and brought him close to his face. Close enough for Sasuke to distinguish his deformed nose and lips adorned by huge coetaneous craters (bad case of herpes, he supposed), even though it was dark.

"Do you remember now?" The guy practically bawled at him, opening his mouth so wide that Sasuke had time to count his five rotten teeth. He wanted to ask him why he was so angry. But then again, with a face like that, even Sasuke would be angry.

"Sorry." Sasuke shrugged. Look, a falling star. "I forgot my memory pills."

He spotted another falling star before Herpes Face punched the sore side of his face again. He wanted to tell him to punch the other side – I'm talking about symmetry, man – but he was too drunk to care.

"I can't believe it! You don't even realize the situation you're in, you smug son of a bitch? This isn't 7th grade anymore! Stop grinning like that! I'll make you swallow that shit eating grin!"

A kick in the ribs, because Herpes Face was angry. With a face like that, Sasuke would be angry too. Ever heard of mental _déjà vu_? Try drinking five double whiskeys and maybe you and I can have a conversation.

Sasuke grimaced. He hated being kicked in the ribs. It hurt like a bitch, and it made him see too many falling stars, and he was facing the floor this time.

Then he felt his body being rolled over and the sky was above him again, and – was it him or was Herpes Faces messing with his belt?

"W-what are you doing, Kenji?"

"I'll make him know what it feels like to be fucked like a faggot. This shithead called me a faggot in 7th grade. You know how traumatizing that can be? I'm not a faggot! That's why I'm going to show him now who the faggot is."

"I don't know man…"

"I'm in!"

"I don't know man, this is going too far…"

Too many voices talking at the same time. Sasuke didn't even know if his attackers were three or six. Or maybe they were twelve and four of them had mouths covered in herpes.

His body was hurting like a bitch.

Then his body was rolled over until he was stomach down, and felt his pants being pulled down to the mid of his hips. And he only knew this because he felt a cold shiver in a part of his ass that should be covered from the cold.

"What the fuck?" Sasuke hissed, trying to turn himself over. "The fuck are you doing?"

But all he heard were laughs, and his vision was too blurry.

**::**

**::**

(1) 6 feet 7 inches = 201 cm

(2) 220 lbs = 100 kg


	5. Cheap whiskeys after effects

**::**

**::**

If you ever plan on visiting Poland, there are at least 136 things you should know about the Polish first.

One) They don't like commun- I mean, _umbrellas_.

Two) "No" in Polish doesn't mean "no".

Three) Twinky Winky has been prohibited from entering the country unless he drops that stupid handbag. Polish authorities seem to be very concerned with the possibility of their toddlers turning gay by the sight of a monosyllabic purple-haired alien creature walking around with a red handbag.

Four) That's why they let the children watch Winnie the Pooh. Much manlier.

Five) Potatoes are Poland's number on-

[error]

_~~We apologize for wasting your time with meaningless issues like _Poland_. No offense to Polish people.~~_

_~~The scriptwriter has been fired already.~~_

_~~We have a Chinese scriptwriter now, for half the wage.~~_

**::**

There's nothing wrong or pathetic about being religious. You have nothing to lose, in fact, you have everything to gain if you pick the right God to believe in. They say when you have a lot of faith, miracles and shit like that happen. A miracle would be nice.

Right now, Sasuke was wishing he was religious.

It's just that, when you're too drunk to defend your dignity and you've been pinned down in a dark alley by three or six losers that didn't graduate 7th grade, there's not many options for you besides praying and waiting for a miracle.

Just out of curiosity, which God vehemently condemns same-sex intercourse?

"Kenji!"

"Just hold his fucking legs down, Shou!"

But with no God to perform miracles for him, and in the midst of the frenzy of nine hands grabbing his wrists, heels and unclothed buttocks, he found himself wondering: What would Asuma do in this situation? What would be his life lesson to prevent unpleasant outcomes of a situation that involved alcohol, your ass naked to the skies and three or six fags wanting revenge for something that Sasuke didn't even remember?

On the other hand, he didn't want to imagine what Asuma would do.

"Does the Mighty Sarutobi have anything to say before his sentence?" Herpes Faces sputtered in his ear.

Now that he asked him, he actually may have.

"Could you at least wear a condom?"

He did have a valid reason for asking his soon-to-be grudging rapist to have the delicacy of wearing a condom, and that was because he didn't want to catch herpes. In fact, his mind hadn't been able to correctly process the situation he was in, or that his rear was about to gain an entry door by force. When you have more whiskey than hemoglobin pulsing inside your veins, life becomes incredibly simpler.

Though herpes is a serious issue. Sasuke didn't want to catch that face.

"That's it! You're going to regret having been _born_ you motherfuckin' dipshit asswipe god fuckin damn yo mother must've fucked a very dickfaced milkman-"

_~(censored)~_

That was, officially, the longest insult directed at Sasuke that he had ever heard in his entire life. Wow. It takes art to say that all so quickly. If his hands hadn't been firmly clutched by one of the attackers, he would have applauded.

"Shou, Takeo, hold him well!" Somewhat breathless, Kenji had place himself on top of Sasuke's defeated body, framing his half-clad pale hips with his knees. Testosterone and vile arousal running through his body, he excitedly freed his proud member from the tight grip of his pants, all rigid and dripping. "I'm going first…"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

A tenebrous voice coming from behind the scene startled the three offenders, halting immediately the atrocious plan. Out of nowhere, a crow somewhere chirped loudly to emphasize the crescendo of the stranger's entrance.

Kenji stood up immediately, stomping on Sasuke's body and almost falling on the ground while he stored his manhood back, trying to face with some dignity the stranger that dared to interrupt his vendetta.

Sasuke wished he could see who the stranger was, because he could swear that the guy grabbing his legs his legs was _shivering_. The guy grabbing his wrists though, kept his grip strict, preventing Sasuke to efficiently look back without risking a cramp in his neck.

"Unless you are interested in a court session for physical assault and rape of a defenceless." The stranger spoke again. Sasuke heard him stepping forward.

"We were just playing around."

"Who the fuck are you?"

The guy who was holding his wrists decided it was time to lose the grip and back up his friend, leaving Sasuke on the ground. The other guy immediately mimicked his friend, joining them both in Line Infantry against the Invader.

Finally freed of his attackers, Sasuke managed to stand up and pull his pants up while the world was spinning around and doing its job to complicate the task. He could no longer feel his ass – it must have frozen due to the sudden cold. You know how Global Warming is. One minute it's hot like a summer night and the next the temperature drops like 20 degrees while your ass is still out of the house.

Meanwhile he remembered to take a glance at the stranger (since he was there and all). The alley was dark, but the light coming from the street lamps illuminated very well the slender figure of a young man in his early twenties whose stoic face Sasuke saw various times in twenty different expressions, all in his dreams.

It was Itachi indeed.

Wearing nothing but speedos.

"Who?" Itachi took another step forward, and his nylon spandex-clad pronounced crotch practically bounced. "_Who _comes under the function of _what_ and _what_ presupposes a _why_, that of course is subordinated to the multiple representations of the _who. I_ am not but the synthesis of diverse representations of my character, and my character cannot be properly introduced within the conditions of the _when _and the _where _of this instant. Therefore, gentleman, wouldn't be '_what_ am I doing here' a more suitable question for the occasion?"

If Kenji hadn't dropped out of school to work at his uncle's underground business, and if the other two hadn't developed allergies against knowledge in general, their simultaneous response certainly wouldn't have been: "Huh?"

Sasuke thought Itachi was looking a bit frustrated, but then he wasn't paying much attention to the upper part of his body.

"Let's be brief, gentlemen. I'm Uchiha Itachi, of the Uchiha&Son Law Firm." Seeing that the three delinquents remained silent, he added: "Sarutobi Sasuke's lawyer."

"This shithead has a lawyer?" Kenji grunted, looking back at the face that tormented his pubertal years of life. Sasuke had written inscrutability on his forehead, staring dumbly like he was completely unaware of the situation.

"Kenji, let's get out of here." Being the least fearless of the three, and reasonably the most perceptive, Shou hoped that his stubborn friend listened to him this time. His sharper common sense told him, from the very beginning that: if involving in a gang rape was bad, trying to rape _the_ Sarutobi Sasuke could only be a terrible idea. If Sasuke had remained the same 13 year old terrorizing kid, he would get at them as soon as he got sober, painfully and mercilessly. Besides, taking into account that most of his family was in prison, Shou had pretty much the innate idea that Justice was like a fat ugly bitch that you wouldn't want to fuck with – let alone waking up next to her after a ravaging night.

Shou just didn't expect that Justice would find them so soon – and so literally.

"The Uchihas are famous lawyers, you don't want to mess with them." He whispered in Kenji's ear. "We didn't do anything yet. He can't prove anything, you see? Let's just go now, man."

Kenji narrowed his eyes, glaring at the not-so-seemingly-famous intruder as suspiciously as a woman glares at a polyester skirt that costs more than her car insurance. Kenji wasn't (that) dumb; even though he momentarily considered killing the show-off lawyer and the Sarutobi shithead (after raping him, of course), truth is he knew it wouldn't be that much of a smart plan, since he never killed anyone before and he didn't have any experience in dumping off bodies and erasing the evidences.

So he optioned to listen to his best friend. There will be other days to teach a lesson to the Sarutobi shithead, but not today.

"I'm sorry for causing such commotion." He bowed, to seem like a remorseful polite Japanese young man that wasn't raised in a Yakuza environment. "We didn't mean any harm. We were just playing around. I realize now that our play was getting too far. Please accept our humblest apologies."

Shou and Takeo were gawking at the change of character, but they immediately followed the example and bowed too. They wouldn't convince Dr. Phil, but it was the best they could do now.

Itachi wasn't impressed with their change of behaviour. Sasuke wasn't either, but it wasn't like he was paying that much attention to his attackers. It was possible to be the alcohol's after effects, but he was feeling like his brain was being cooked in a water bath, as childish questions kept popping into inside his head, like:

'_Would it taste..._

_like_

_leather?'_

His mind was quite troublesome sometimes.

Kenji stood up before Itachi's reaction to his fake apologies, blabbing some "Well then, we gotta go! Nice to meet ya!" and made his way out of there, his two friends following him religiously like ducks after their mother's tail.

And they were finally left alone, standing in a straight line facing each other. The stupid crow chirped again.

Still half-aroused by the fantastic imaginary-like sight, Sasuke began walking towards the speedo-clad figure, only to realize (once he was close enough to smell his essence) that Itachi was after all fully dressed with a boring dark suit and a greyish overcoat hanging loosely on his shoulders.

"Are you okay?" The man asked.

"What happened to your speedos?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi frowned, Sasuke frowned; they studied each other's faces. Apart from the incongruities in their hardly natural communication, Sasuke was inwardly feeling incredibly silly now that he realized he had imagined Itachi facing up his bullies in black speedos and a naked chest. Eh, what would Freud call that? Suppressed childhood Batman fantasy reverted into an adulthood semi-erotic schizophrenic episode?

"Thank you for saving me Sir-Knight-with-multiple-characters, but I didn't need your help." He thought in bowing low to emphasize his mocking role-play, but with all that amount of whiskey weighing his body, he wasn't sure if he could get up after with dignity. "But since I'm a well-mannered victim, it is my duty to thank you for your bravery."

With teasing words and a deviant smile, Sasuke pushed Itachi against the nearing wall, being graced with a look of utter surprise from the stoic man.

"A kiss, maybe? I heard your lips taste like Prozac."

And why shouldn't he kiss him? Itachi was a frickin' gorgeous being. Besides, there's always the excuse afterwards: 'I was drunk; I was mentally incapable of taking responsibility for my actions.' God bless the Alcohol.

Amen, and Sasuke kissed him.

He licked his lips before he pushed his mouth against Itachi's, moistening the cold-dried skin of bourbon tasting lips. In hidden animalist lust Sasuke forced his lips open and barely had time for some tongue-molesting, as all the alcohol in his stomach was threatening to come up finally.

Breaking abruptly their contact, he took a deep breath to momentarily calm down his stomach. He didn't want to vomit in that place. Not in front of Itachi. The party was over and the headache was eating his cooked brain again. It was time to stop that horseplay.

"I'm going home. Bye."

Drunkenly waving his hand he started walking towards the place he sort-of-remembered parking his bike, trying to figure out in the meantime the quickest way to get there as the ground kept slipping away under his feet.

"Wait, you can't drive in that condition."

Itachi tried to grab his arm, but Sasuke just shoved it away violently.

"I'm fine. I didn't drink that much."

"You're walking in a zigzag."

This time, Itachi managed to firmly grab his arm, and Sasuke complied, knowing that he didn't have enough strength to push him away. Which was bad, because he didn't want to vomit in front of him.

"I'm fine, doctor. Sir Knight. Batman. What was your name again? Let me go."

He weakly tried another failed attempt to free himself, while Itachi was slowly driving him away from the place he was originally heading to.

"What happened? Oh my gosh is he okay?"

Oh crap. Not Sakura. Her voice sounded like screaming hyenas and his headache was a growling lion. He vaguely saw her pinkish head walking towards him from very far away, and behind her was a walking orange stain with a black shadow.

"Yo man, are you okay?"

Naruto's screaming voice wasn't any better to his headache.

"He's just a bit drunk. I'm going to take him home." Itachi uttered. He hauled Sasuke's not-cooperative body, put the boy's arm around his shoulder and gathered his own arm around his waist.

Apart from his friends' concerned eyes, Sasuke smiled softly, and leaning his head towards Itachi's scent eminating from his neck, he whispered in his ear: "You don't need to hold me that tight."

Now he could almost swear he heard Itachi dry swallowing.

"Oh hun you don't need to do this!" Sakura went running towards them. Through the corner of his drunken eye, Sasuke noticed the bruise on her cheek; the way the top bottoms of her blouse had been naughtily ripped off and her hair was completely dishevelled like she had just walked through a passing hurricane that the others missed. That Goth chick must've given her one hell of a fight. "Sasuke is always like that-"

"Where does he live?" Itachi interrupted in a rather course way. His voice was hoarse and graver than usual, either due to the cold weather or the fact that he felt obliged to carry the flat weight of an uncooperative drunken friend of Sakura's.

Sasuke liked the way his voice sounded.

"He lives far away! Please I'll ask BBD to call for a cab and-"

"Don't worry." He roughly interrupted her again. Itachi hunched Sasuke's body forward, forcing the younger to move his legs and join him in a walking exercise to where the car was parked. Sasuke complied with a smile, as he thought in perceiving how eager Itachi seemed to get the hell out of there.

"Please do return to the bar and enjoy the rest of the night. I should be leaving early anyway; it is by no means a problem for me to drop off your friend safely at home." Itachi stated, speeding up the rhythm of his steps. Sasuke tripped a couple of times on his own shoes, and would have fallen on the ground if the stoic man hadn't clutched his waist harder. His nails were dipping into his belly like feline claws – kinda felt good being grabbed like that, but still it was sort of painful indeed. Once they got to his house, Sasuke would be sure to introduce to Itachi mankind's wonderful invention called _nail cutter__s_.

They reached the car quite quickly. Itachi freed Sasuke's body to let him lean against the black SUV, flinching once when he thought that Sasuke was about to fall on the ground again. Once he confirmed that the drunken boy still managed to stand on his legs, he proceeded in searching for the keys.

"But..." Sakura had been following them silently. Naruto and Sai were standing a few steps behind her, with puzzled expressions, obviously not knowing what to do or what to say.

She gave a hesitant step forward. Her hands were joined behind her back; her head was slightly tilted down. Oddly (and even more oddly for a drunk man to perceive this) it seemed like she was afraid of something. She eyed Sasuke with an enigmatic look before glancing back to Itachi. "I thought you were going to drive me home..."

He sighed as he looked down at her.

"I can drop you off now if you want."

She didn't want to, obviously. She was glaring at Sasuke like he had planned on ruining her night just out of sheer principle.

"We barely got here."

A rusty weather vane squeaked in the moonless night when a sudden wind caught up hairs against faces and tickled exposed skins with cold whispers. Out of some hidden lane, three or four dogs ruptured the silence with a loud canine argument.

The couple was wordlessly exchanging stares for long seconds, powdering the moment with a taste of bitterness. For those who were still sober, it was rather discomforting, hence Naruto's upcoming attempt to offer an easy solution:

"We can walk you home Sakura! Your house is just half-an-hour away."

"But you live in the other direction!" She retorted bitterly. Her face was so tight that it looked like she was holding something inside her. Tears maybe, if Naruto had to guess.

"So? It wouldn't be the first time! I don't mind at all, we love walking you home, right Sai? C'mon, let Itachi drive Sasuke home. We haven't danced yet! We need to dance!" Then he stopped his rambling, and concentration was drawn in his face and his left side tilted sideways, like his hearing had caught the trace of an unmistakable sound. "Is that Depeche Mode they're playing?"

"It's not." Sakura grunted, sighing deeply as if trying to breathe her anger away.

It was always like this. Even now that she wasn't dating Sasuke anymore, he still managed to hurt her by ruining her night. He _always_ ruined everything!

Yes, she didn't mind that Naruto and Sai walked her home, but that wasn't _the point_. In fact, the other couple of times they had to walk her home were precisely when Sasuke drank too much to stand on his feet. She could get raped in the deserted dark streets with him next to her and he wouldn't notice, much less_ protect_ her.

God, she had to endure So. Much. Shit with him! Whenever she complained about him to Naruto, he was always like: _"Give him a break Sakura, he didn't have an easy life." _Oh yeah? What about her? She didn't have an easy life either, thanks to _him_!

It was like everyone ended up taking Sasuke's side. Even Itachi, he was looking at her like she had no heart or compassion for her friend's condition. It was Sasuke's fault! Let him enjoy his egocentric misery of alcohol-filled-veins and random whores jumping on his dick as for all she cares! Don't try to help him!

(She thought that night would be special...she and Itachi would be closer and... _do _it...finally...)

"You _owe_me." She hissed, glaring at Itachi. He was now opening the passenger's front door and pushing Sasuke's body inside. "A whole night with me."

Itachi gave her a quick nod; he then closed the door and walked around the car to the other side. Naruto started rambling again excitedly, insisting to Sakura that _Insomnia_'s DJ was really playing Depeche Mode, and that the night was going to be awesome.

Itachi sat in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. He was about to turn on the engine when someone knocked on his seat's window. Patiently he lowered the window, and Naruto's grinning face popped inside his car vigorously, almost making him jolt back .

"Thanks for doing this man! Really, good thing Sasuke didn't try driving in that condition again. Last time he had an accident, you know."

Itachi lifted an eyebrow. "An accident?"

"Well it's wasn't a big deal. Sasuke just crashed against a tree few seconds after he drove off. Didn't even get to the road." He hid his white teeth set under a big smile and wrinkled eyes, shrugging nonchalantly as if things like running into trees before you catch the road happened naturally.

"I'll take care of Sakura, don't worry!" Naruto added, and grinned widely again.

"I appreciate it, Naruto." Itachi gave him a yellowed smile and gently nudged the hyperactive boy to stick his head out of his window, so he could finally drive off from that place.

**::**

"I need to know where you live, Sasuke."

Sasuke stirred in his seat uncomfortably, mumbling: "Just go straight forward."

His stomach was killing him. The leather smell in Itachi's car wasn't making the situation better, so he tried to distract the want-to-vomit feeling by snooping in the CDs stored left on the door side. Maybe putting some music on would help, though Itachi's taste in music wasn't much satisfying.

"You only have Jazz?"

"Care to tell me what you are looking for?"

"I don't know. Do you have Sex Pistols?"

Sasuke grimaced; a loud buzzing noise ruptured inside his head and he wasn't able to hear Itachi's answer. Damn, not the headache again. Headache with jumping stomach was not a good sign, not good...

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop the car!"

The tires squealed as Itachi drove the car off the road and roughly slowed down the speed. The car hadn't yet completely stopped and Sasuke was already opening the door abruptly, jumping to the middle of the wasteland with an arm around his stomach.

The wind whispered shadily beneath the savage brushes growing occasionally in that vast empty field, and the sky looked like an enormous black cloak about to fall on them. The road unfolded through a parallel line at his left, empty and infinite. It was quite scary, the background music was heavy silence crushing his ears and his head, and he wanted to vomit and vomit until his stomach started bleeding.

But he felt Itachi was walking behind him, and it alarmed him. He didn't want to vomit in front of Itachi. Straightening up his body and walking forward nonchalantly, following the road's direction, Sasuke made his very best in surpressing the contents of his stomach down and looking apparently okay.

"I don't need a ride, thanks. I think I'll just walk." He tried to sound as natural as he could, under the circumstances. He just didn't want to vomit in front of Itachi, that's all. Heck, he could vomit in front of China's president on their country's flag, but not in front of Itachi. It would be too humiliating.

For his annoyance – because the Heavens were always against him – Itachi kept following him, without even uttering a word. It took ten more steps for Sasuke to finally turn back angrily and shout at him to buzz off:

"Look, stop following me you-"

He wasn't able to articulate the offense as the five double whiskeys, along with the yaki gyoza he had for dinner, mercilessly crawled up his throat and parachuted to the ground.

Sluggish, messy and ugly, he thought, as he weakly contemplated the work of art he made on the floor, some parts splattered on Itachi's waxed shoe.

Itachi's arms came to support his shoulders when his legs failed and his body was about to collapse right over the gastric solution. Instead of meeting the ground, his face met the silky fabric of Itachi's shirt.

God... he didn't remember ever being so drunk. Trying to hold himself, his hands grabbed his torso, slowly crawling on Itachi's chest and leaving a trail of drool and leftover-vomit on his shirt.

The feeling of the soft material between his fingers was divine. His head was spinning madly and his stomach and throat were itching, but his healthy left hand found an erect nipple. Nice...he pressed it between his fingers, and the thorax he was leaning against emitted a purring sound. Was that a moan?

And then his senses shut down and everything went black.

**:: ::**

When Sasuke opened his eyes to reality again he was laying in the most comfortable bed in the history of his life – not to mention the _biggest_. What was that called, king size? Tons of pillows of reddish and bluish tones, all of velvety texture, adorned the dark walnut wooded headboard and embraced his head pleasantly.

His head felt incredibly light. He lolled himself against the smooth pillows, yawning lazily as he turned his head sideways to catch the slender back of Uchiha Itachi (unmistakable, with that white silky shirt and long hair gathered in a not-very-tight ponytail), and a glimpse of the laptop's monitor he was typing on. Enormous and heavy _art deco_ curtains fell from the high ceiling to touch the floor, giving a background to the escritoire-seated figure, slightly opened to reveal a parallelepiped light obfuscation that projected morning sunrays into the room.

He was in a hotel room, that's for sure.

Before he decided to get up from that almost illegally-comfortable bed, he stretched himself again, feeling pleasantly the _Bordeaux_-coloured sheets brushing against his naked chest and-

What the...

He lifted the bed sheet and peeked underneath it. He was wearing only boxers.

"Where are my clothes?"

He looked at Itachi, who remained uncaringly typing on his best-friend The Laptop.

"Laundry." He uttered, without taking his eyes off the screen. "Take a shower, please."

"What?"

"You smell like cheap nightclubs." For a brief moment Itachi paused typing, as if he was concentrating on finishing reading something on the screen. He then proceeded after, still without turning back: "Also, you may want to brush your teeth and the still leftover vomit in your mouth. There's an unused tooth brush in the bathroom."

Now that he mentioned, he did feel a slight acridity in his mouth. What happened last night? He hoped he didn't vomit in front of Itachi.

Shrugging nonchalantly, Sasuke left the bed in direction to the opened bathroom. There was a pair of slippers next to the bed but he preferred the nice sensation of smooth carpet against his naked feet.

Switching on the light and closing the door behind him, he preceded in removing his boxers, finding a surprising morning erection popping out energetically. Thank God Itachi was glued to his laptop and didn't see him walking through the room with a hard-on; it would be a little embarrassing.

His head was incredibly light. Why did he feel so good? He knew he drank a lot last night – enough for him to vomit and not remember a thing – so why wasn't he feeling like shit with an enormous hangover?

Oh well. He stepped inside the bathtub. The _huge _bathtub, to be more correct, framed by a big wall of smoked glass in one side and an enormous translucent curtain on the other side. He took a quick shower (spending some more extra-time relieving his arousal with swift pumps), and after cleaning himself with the softest towel he ever touched in his miserable life, he spotted the tooth brush Itachi mentioned still wrapped in plastic.

Itachi was still engaged in his typing activity when jasmine-fragranced Sasuke returned to the room, wearing the hotel's bathrobe and shaking the last water drops off of his wet hair. Glancing curiously around the room, Sasuke noticed the particular detail of the bed pillows – five or six round velvet small pillows and ablack leather _dakimakura_ (1) displayed horizontally behind them.

That looked familiar.

Itachi allowed himself to interrupt his thoughts as he, still frozen in his original position, suddenly uttered: "Do you have an opinion as to why you kissed me last night, Sasuke?"

His heart stopped. Was that a crow chirping outside?

"I did _what_?"

The revolving chair half-spun around and Itachi finally faced Sasuke, fantastically stunning in his usual dauntless self, with strands of silky black hair falling graciously over whitish skin and pale-pinkish lips glittered with moisture. If he wasn't sober, he'd kiss him right there.

Itachi turned again back to his laptop and his typing mode; yet precisely when Sasuke was thinking about snooping inside the lively mini-bar he spotted on the other side of the bedroom, Itachi spoke again:

"It is called GSA, Sasuke", the click-click sound of the keyboard intervened, "GSA as in _Genetic Sexual Attraction_."

What the hell was he talking about?

Sasuke stepped forward, catching the side of his face. His eyes seemed quite concentrated on whatever was on the monitor, like he barely recognized Sasuke's presence.

"Attraction is based on the level of similarity between partners. Those in love not only share the same tastes, feelings, they even look comparably. Altogether, a variety determined by genetic profiles as well as environment influences." Itachi's index finger was now scrawling down the very interesting things written on the monitor. Sometimes his lips would move along with words, words like _"beyond reasonable doubt, huh?"_ and _"Nikkei, 1.5% in minus… he."_

"My head feels light..." Sasuke murmured.

"It's the analgesic." Itachi replied to him quickly in between his explanation: "Basically the more similar the genes," he continued "the greater the sexual desire between two persons as well, so theory."

Sasuke's mind, freed from a head too light, had begun tiptoeing towards the mini-bar two minutes ago, and now his body was prompt to follow it, longing for the taste of expensive whiskey...

"There is only one limit to it and that is co-habitation of individuals during the so-called 'sensible phase', the first few years after birth. Red cheeks and baby screams are to evoke imprinting against our nature, perhaps…?"

"Can I have a whiskey out of the bar, Itachi?" Succumbing to his primal desire (sometimes mistaken with basic need) Sasuke had opened the door of the mini-bar to ogle at the inside, marvelled with the attractive little bottles filled with golden liquids that certainly tasted like gold. What was that, a 25 year old Cutty Sark?

Itachi's fingers stilled. He fluidly shut the laptop and accurately placed it in its designed case. Stretching luxuriously the upper limbs, he turned his head and uttered:

"No, you can't."

And then, he smiled. An impressive manifestation of a stoic face touched by emotion – it was only because of that smile that Sasuke did not become rampant about some high-class-snob torturing him with godly whiskeys he could not drink – how would you think Eva would feel if the snake tempted her with the apple but would not give her?

Itachi slowly erected his body from the chair and sauntered through the distance that separated them in his own alluring manner, pausing only few inches from the younger; black eyes penetrating black eyes, levelled in the same altitude.

"However you may accept a one-time-offer of getting sexually involved with me now." and his smile extended into a more audacious curve "It's not like you succeeded to get any for a while, did not you?"

That prick wasn't exactly emitting the same vibrations that were echoing in the room a millisecond ago. He glanced at the mini-bar, quickly. It would be a waste not to blame everything that could be about to happen on intoxication after effects later. On the other hand, everything that concerned the mere name of Uchiha Itachi was blameable, from the law firm of leeches to the daring invitation for free food and don't forget the chain-reaction-vaginas that were caused in his most sordid dreams.

He groped something somewhere behind him as he processed the situation; unknowingly letting Itachi's black eyes eat his like a starving feline. Itachi closed the distance between them and Sasuke found that he was holding onto the bed frame woodwork, which consequently put the huge bed with the round velvet pillows and the big black-leathered _dakimakura_ conveniently behind him.

A finger brushed his mouth; _his_ finger, so perfect and long, was pressing against Sasuke's lips, moistening the peeling skin with the saliva collected from the mouth corners. Itachi's breath hit against his cheek as he pressed the finger further into the oral cavity and Sasuke felt compelled to suck it hungrily, as he was simultaneously imagining sucking other body parts (after all, he imagined it quite often when he observed those girls giving him blowjobs – what would it feel like being in their position?).

A cell phone vibrated and both of them stopped the finger-teasing to search through their pockets for the device. Itachi grabbed the clinging phone and Sasuke blushed at the idiocy of searching for a cell on the hotel's robe, forgetting the fact that he was completely naked underneath.

(He realized how he and Itachi were so close, legs touching legs, feeling each other's vibration...)

"Father." He heard Itachi muttering on the phone, who had retreated to the centre of the room, looking through some papers placed on the phone table. He tiredly sipped out more words to this 'father' on the other line, some "yes" and "no" and "give me half an hour" before he hung up the phone.

And then he cursed.

Sasuke could almost swear that he heard oh-so-perfect Mr. Lawyer pronouncing a _bad word_, but then again he wasn't sure the degree of veracity of the entire situation he was in, starting with the suspicious combination of velvet and leather in phallic forms on _the bed_.

He remained still as he observed Itachi grabbing the hotel's phone and instructing to be picked up in front of "...Royal" (the hotel's name?). Having his things organized, laptop case in his left hand and suit jacket in the other, he turned to Sasuke and said:

"Your clothes should be ready anytime soon. But, should you feel too exhausted to check-out now,"

-pause for smile-

"the room is paid for till tomorrow 12 o'clock, room services included. I shall add that alcohol is not included on free service. You may have a drink,"

-pause for a smile turning into a smirk-

"if you are willing to spend 10,000 yen on it, of course."

And then, Itachi exited the room and the door closed sophisticatedly behind him.

'_Bastard.' _Well the mood wasn't the same, even though his head still felt too light. Damn. He so wanted a taste of that whiskey. 10,000 yen for that tiny bottle? That was hardly a glass!

But... he could drink it. It was Itachi's fault, leaving him there with those temptations (and another erection, now that he looked down... why does his head feel so dull?). It's not like that fancy hotel's staff would chase him down the street yelling that he didn't pay for the bottle of whiskey. Most likely, it would be billed at Itachi's house.

He smirked. Now there was no reason to stop him from drinking that-

Unless there was an erection still alive to kill off. But when he switched on the light of the bathroom, the door rang.

"Room service!"

'_Now?'_ He grunted to himself. The entrance however was just beside the bathroom, therefore the broody young man spared more curses to the unseen meddler for bothering him from one of his basic needs.

Sasuke opened the door and a short red-haired man finely dressed in the hotel's outfit was presented with a shining trolley covered with a white embroidered towel, displaying an attractive selection of edible things, most of them having French names certainly. On his left bended arm, there was a transparent plastic bag with clothes inside.

"What time is it?" Sasuke asked, watching the man leaving the trolley at the centre of the room and his cleaned clothes on the bed. He noticed the peculiar side item: black male boxers, still wrapped. Itachi ordered boxers for him? Could they do that in hotels?

"7 am, sir."

His stomach took charge and Sasuke walked to the trolley, scrutinizing its contents better, spotting small bottles of who-knows-what.

"Is this alcohol?"

"No sir."

The short man looked like a robot, with that expressionless boyish face and the monotonic voice.

"Can you add alcohol in this service?"

"Naturally, sir."

"I mean, for free."

"Oh...I'm afraid I can't, sir."

Damn. What was wrong with this hotel?

"Fine, you can go."

The man bowed, muttering a "Thank you very much" and walked away to the door. Sasuke was observing him, half-impressed with his ability of seeming like anything but a real person, when he noticed the huge smoked glass illuminated with a bright yellow light from the inside of the bathroom.

What the...

Remember the smoked glass wall of the bathtub? Apparently that is not just a decoration; it _is _a wall, a wall that concludes the architectural space of the bathroom. Of course if the light is turned off the glassy wall merges with the dark greyish tone of the other walls of the room, but with the light turned on, he could actually identify the shower position from the place he was standing.

Half-alarmed Sasuke ran outside the room, reaching the outside's hallway in time to spot the robot-man waiting for the elevator down the hall.

"Hey, you!"

The red-haired man merely turned his face to give him a blank stare, to which Sasuke called again "You! Come here!". in case he hadn't understood it at first.

"My name is Sasori, sir."

"That's great, now come here."

Sasori hated his job – how cruel what his grandmother did to him was, kidnapping all 96 of his beautiful dolls and threatening to sell them unless he did that servant work at her hotel! He argued human rights, and she retorted "You're 39 years old and still live at my expenses. If you want to buy more clothes for your Barbies, go work."

Pff. Anyway, he obeyed to the rude client (like he had a choice) and followed him back inside the room. When the rude client ordered him to step inside the bathtub and pretend to take a bath, he was just imagining what was about to follow: that rude(handsome)client would stand there with a devious smile, watching him take off all of his clothes and expose his fragile nakedness to his perverted eyes, and they both would be locked inside the bathroom with no one else to hear his screams...

"I said _pretend_. Not to take a bath. Put your jacket on."

Sasori blank-eyed him again, receiving a rude glare from the client, and sighing he put the jacket on again. In his turn, Sasuke left the man inside to skirt the wall and be faced with the huge smoked glass wall again. Now, that was bad. He looked behind him. The escritoire was just about ten yards down in a straight line. He looked back at the glass wall.

The glass was thick and smoked, so he could see nothing but the very blurred image of the robot-man-pretending-to-take-a-bath. But even still one could detect the silhouette of the one taking a bath and specially _what_ that one was doing.

Which was very, very bad.

If in the middle of the typing activity Itachi had the unfortunate idea of ungluing his head off the laptop to look at what could possibly be going on behind him, he would see that Sasuke likes to take his time in massaging the soap on his balls and...the anal entrance, while he masturbated.

Definitely not a good sight of him. That is, ifthere was anything good in masturbating practically in front of your ex's boyfriend.

"You sure you don't want me to take my clothes off, sir?"

"Leave it." Sasuke grunted to the man shouting inside the bathroom. "You can go now."

Never before feeling so humiliated, Sasuke was determined to dress and get back to his house as quickly as he could, and maybe dig a hole in his room so he could hibernate there for the next six months.

**:: ::**

"Mmm... Itachiii... I don't know if you can satisfy _all_ my needs..."

"_Meow__..."_

"Hmm that's cute...purr for me..."

There weren't many things Shiva demanded from her human, besides the minimal care obviously. Today she was feeling rather needy, and her human didn't seem to get up to give her all the attention she needed (beside she woke up with a desire of home-cooked fish, her favourite dish).

"Hmm..."

Odd that her human was enjoying her licking his mouth so much. He was actually licking hers too. That's nice. Not the kind of spoils she was looking for but it's difficult to teach humans nowadays.

"Hm- Ita...Shiva what ar- ARGH! Get out!"

The Siamese cat grumbled as she was shoved out of her owner's bed mercilessly and looked at Sasuke with disheartening eyes. Ungrateful human. Just watch me ignoring you next time you call me to come inside the house. I'll make you stay two hours in the cold yelling out my name while I'm being humped by a big furry macho feline and totally ignoring your pathetic attempts to allure me with food.

"Get off!" Sasuke spat at the cat. The cat turned around, and never letting her pride down, she walked slowly and divinely out of the bedroom. _Just watch._

Sasuke was living a nightmare. Not because his fat old cat merged into a French kiss with Itachi in his dreams – though it was still quite unpleasant, especially because Shiva had serious case of halitosis – but now as he was widely awake and widely sober, he was also widely remembering _everything_ that happened last night.

Right now, he was deciding if he should drown his grief again in alcohol because Itachi saw him almost being sodomized by three dumbfucks (oh he was so going to hunt down those fuckers) with his full naked ass gloriously pointing at him, or if he should just jump off the bridge because he just had to fucking kiss him.

And rubbed his nipple. Rubbed, in an erotic way, not a friendly pinch. _Rub_. There's a difference.

He kissed his ex's _boy_friend, vomited in front of him and over his shoes and rubbed his nipple. Fucking cheap whiskeys. What if Itachi tells everyone?

Whatever, if anyone confronts him about last night, he'll just deny it.

Evoke the new logic of the XXI century: Nothing happened unless you can prove it in a court room.

Or he'll pretend he became amnesic. _¿Que dices?_ _No entiendo Japonés._

No, that wouldn't do. Oh wait, how about this: he was mysteriously possessed by a homosexual incubus. He should probably threaten a priest to confirm his theory.

"Finally you're awake!" Kurenai just barged inside his room with a basin full of dirty clothes, opening the window to let the sun in. "It's past noon! What happened to you, you only show up at 8 am and you go straight to your room without even saying 'hi, I'm home'! Asuma was worried sick, you know?"

She was in bad mood. Definitely.

Kurenai began collecting his clothes off the floor angrily, while Sasuke tried to adapt his eyes to the burning brightness, wincing as his ears trembled against Shiva's loud complains down the hall.

"Your cat's hungry!" And Kurenai joined her chorus.

"She's not hungry, she's just gluttonous." He grumbled.

Shiva meowed even louder, as if she was trying to prove a point.

"Well give her something to shut her up! And get your lazy ass out of the bed, it's your turn to make lunch. Asuma isn't joining us today."

"Why?"

"He went to work."

That's why she was in such a bad mood.

"Work? It's Sunday. He already went to work yesterday when he shouldn't have."

Sasuke was also beginning to feel concerned about Asuma working so much. He already had expanded his weekly working hours without getting extra payment, now he had to work all the weekend as well?

He knew, unfortunately, that there was nothing Asuma could do against it; either the workers agreed on extra hours or they'd all be laid off and the company would enter into insolvent liquidation.

Maybe he should find another job to gain some extra money too, at least while he didn't have a scholarship. He felt bad for Asuma. Though it was Kurenai who was right now contributing more to his college's expenses, as she brought more income into their home, but Asuma was after all, the one killing himself in ungratefully paid work so all three of them could have a fairly comfortable life. It was frustrating for Sasuke to know that they could be living a way better life if he wasn't there, studying at their expenses. The money he made in the restaurant was barely enough to help with the fees, after subtracting the gas expenses, study materials, school meals and other living expenditures.

"Blame the economic crisis." She snorted. And she added, when she prepared to leave his room: "By the way, a woman from the Public Ministry came by this morning asking for you while you were sleeping. I believe she sent you a letter the other day, didn't she?"

Sasuke grunted in annoyance. What a pain. He really didn't want to talk to them. Why bother, when Justice was just a play for the devil?

"You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?" She narrowed her eyes questionably.

"No. It's just routine questions, nothing special."

"Routine questions about what?"

"You know about _what_."

Kurenai's face changed spectacularly. "Ooh… But how did they..?"

Sasuke sighed, empty eyes observing the spider's work in the ceiling's corner. Good thing Kurenai missed her, he liked her making webs in his room. Spiders ate the fucking mosquitoes. If it hadn't have been for Miss Blackie's thin hairy legs and venomous lips he would have had to endure fucking mosquitoes until the end of October, thanks to climate changes.

"I don't know."

Shrugging, he got up and left the room without exchanging more words on the subject. Down the hall he entered inside the bathroom to take a shower.

Or…hadn't he taken a shower already in the hotel? No, wait. That was a dream, right?

He couldn't figure it out. He stood there looking into the mirror as if he was expecting to find an oracle behind the glass, when he noticed a dark bruise coming from beneath his T-shirt's collarbone. Quickly he took the item off, finding a surprising collection of dark red, purple and dark grey bruises in places over his ribs and thorax.

'_Fucking great.'_ He thought bitterly. Those fuckers hit him more than he remembered. It didn't hurt though; it just wasn't very nice to see.

Why it didn't hurt, was a wonder. Maybe Itachi did give him an analgesic…?

No, he couldn't have. That was a dream. I mean, the velvet and leather pillows that reminded him of genital organs? He had been dreaming last week of phallic combinations in those two materials, even when his dreams were becoming frighteningly more realistic.

Besides, there was no way Itachi would make that kind of…_offer_. 'One-time offer', what a cocky bastard. Even in his dreams he was the same conceited snob.

But what if it wasn't a dream?

**:: ::**

Exactly 24 hours later and three friends were sitting under the naked branches of the sakura tree, as it was usual after lunch. Sakura (the other friend, not the tree) hadn't joined them that day. Naruto couldn't help but feel concerned about her, as she was still upset with what happened Saturday night. It was mainly because she was seen within the company of her other group of friends, especially with Tenten, and the blond pacifist wondered how much had Tenten messed with Sakura's brain with more anti-Sasuke propaganda.

As much as he feared for the risk of fragmentation of his precious group of friends, he couldn't bring himself to discuss it with Sasuke or Sai. Sasuke still underestimated the value of the others' friendship, and Sai was… well, he was acting weird lately. Naruto had the feeling that Sai didn't want to hear him talking about Sakura.

"Oh I almost forgot: I bought the concert tickets for them." He spoke. "But don't worry, you can pay me later. They weren't _that _expensive…"

"What tickets?" Sasuke asked, seemingly distracted with something on the horizon.

"Depeche Mode tickets! You know, the bet. I'll see if I can give them to Sakura today…if I can find her…"

"Hm."

His friend's eyes were void, his face negated of expression; he was lost in whatever he was thinking of. Again. Ignoring what was happening around him. He did it five times back in the cafeteria.

"If, hypothetically speaking…" Sasuke spoke suddenly, leaning forward and crossing his legs on the grass. "…someone gave me a painkiller while I was sleeping, how would he do it?"

"Itachi gave you a pill?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto. "_Hypothetically_ ."

Naruto grinned doltishly, feeling like he was starting to pick up on the frequency that transmitted Sasuke's thoughts. It's quite amusing actually; everything that concerned the brunette lately was always about Sakura's mysterious boyfriend.

"You know I think he is a doctor too. He seems to understand a lot of…erm…" He paused, scratching his chin as his mind processed in finding the right word for it. "…illness, yeah."

"That was common sense, Naruto. Just answer the question."

Naruto scratched his head. "Aren't pills supposed to be swallowed?"

"Yeah but I couldn't swallow one, could I? I was _asleep_. Hypothetically, of course."

"Maybe you don't remember swallowing it."

"I'm pretty sure I would."

Naruto's eyes widened, light was made inside his head. "Now that I think about it, I remember once my mom had a migraine and she had to take a butt injection…"

"Na, those are really strong analgesics. I couldn't take one of those."

"Why not?" Naruto looked at him inquiringly.

Sasuke swerved his eyes to the grass. His cheeks gained a bit of a color. "I'm sort of sensitive to meds…" He muttered with a frown.

Naruto laughed loudly, and mocked: "I bet you still take the children's dosage!"

"Ha ha." He snorted sarcastically. "As a matter of fact, half an aspirin is enough to 'cure my woe'."

"Isn't that Itachi's poem?" He stuck his tongue out, teasingly. "Man, you're obsessed."

"Will you shut up about it?" Sasuke threw him a hand of ripped grass and dirt, which made Naruto laugh even more and copy him, filling the first hand with all the grass he could grab.

"Maybe he didn't use analgesics via oral administration." Sai decided to enter the conversion, while the other two were throwing grass at each other childishly.

"We managed to reach that conclusion by our own, thank you Sai." Sasuke snorted, now with a hair full of green lines. "And for fuck's sake it's_ hypothetically_! I never said anything about Itachi!"

"Sai didn't mention Itachi either." Naruto pointed out.

A wordless grunt was the answer, and Sasuke leaned back on the tree, taking the grass out of his hair. On his turn, Sai continued voicing his thinking:

"There are other ways to administrate paracetamol, for instance."

"What ways?"

"Rectal administration." He said.

Both Sasuke and Naruto eyed him blankly, seemingly having some difficulty in processing his words. Then after a few silent seconds the two of them reacted loudly:

"You mean, Itachi shoved a pill up his ass?" Naruto practically yelled.

"Are you crazy?" Sasuke practically screamed.

Sai calmly adjusted himself in his seat before he replied: "It's the most probable hypothesis. Besides," He smirked, and then he added, allowing himself a bit of sarcasm for once: "it's common to give paracetamol suppositories to children."

**::**

**::**

(1) Dakimakura – type of big Japanese pillow similar to a body pillow in shape that basically serves for "hugging". The most famous _dakimakuras_ are those imprinted with anime's bishoujos, often in ecchi poses.

**:: :: ::**

_~Special thanks to today's guest scriptwriter, _**_Mer_-des-_Miroirs_**_, for the hotel scene's original idea and for general inspiration~_

* * *

**a/n:** Allow me to mention also the British sitcom _Green Wing_ for its inspirational humor, **Zena007**'s review for giving me a funny idea, and **Kyarei** for being such a diligent and cool editor.

Happy new year my readers!


	6. The chapter before the chapter 'Date'

**::**

**::**

There are mainly seven humiliating stages in a boy's life, according to Sasuke:

One) First erections. At first you don't know what that is, you just realize that your wee-wee sometimes stands up for no apparent reason whatsoever. It's not embarrassing for a naïve child to have popping wee-wees occasionally. _Girls _are what make it embarrassing. One time at the orphanage, a girl caught him with an erection and literally tried to _pull it out_, thinking that it was a stick hurting dear Sasuke. She was very persistent, even when he cried tears to stop it.

Two) First time masturbating. That would be around 12, at least for Sasuke. At this moment you begin to understand that most of your erections are triggered by certain awkward images. Yet you won't try to do anything unless it gets really stiff and you desperately need to do _something_. So you try with your hands. Oh yeah, that feels good. You apply a little more pressure. Oh dear fucking god what waz dat feeellinnn--- aaaAAAHHH, and you reach the maximum power of bliss and inevitably you smear the sofa with a strange white sticky thing that came out of your piss slit. You feel funny and happy and sort of worried for that abnormal white stuff, but overall, you feel pretty good with yourself. That is, until you hear a chuckle behind you.

(He should've certified that he was completely alone the first time he masturbated. It's rather traumatizing to find that your psychotic adoptive father had been behind the couch the whole time, soundlessly. For that, Sasuke didn't try to masturbate again for the next three months.)

Three) First wet dreams. That's what happens when you refuse to masturbate – that strange milk you saw the first time you masturbated? Well it will continue to come out spontaneously while you're asleep, like it or not.

Four) Eventually you understand that you're not a freak of nature when you hear other boys talking about masturbating and wet dreams. But why is this humiliating also? Because you now understand that the other boys' wet dreams are considerably different from yours: theirs have dicks penetrating vaginas while yours have only dicks.

Five) First time having sex. Sakura thought it was cute, that it was natural to be nervous the first time, but there is nothing more demoralizing for a guy's ego than to not be able to get it up. After a few failed attempts, Sasuke reached the conclusion that sex isn't much about your partner, but more about the power of your _imagination._ From then on, he was able to enjoy a healthy normal sex life. Like all the other guys.

Six) When you start giving a constant face to the person in your dreams/imagination. It's really embarrassing when that person is not a girl, but a guy. Even more when he is your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend.

Seven) First time going to the urologist. And that leads us to the present situation.

**::**

"I have an appointment."

The receptionist had two ridiculous blonde ponytails, heavy Barbie make-up and was chewing some pink bubblegum with ferocity, as if trying to kill the flavored rubber with her own teeth. She didn't have a neck, or if she did, it was buried somewhere inside of that giant pair of squeezed tits, popping out of a very tight uniform that was probably five sizes under. Clearly nobody told her that pushing her boobs up enough to cover her neck wasn't sexy at all, and that she only ended up looking like she was developing mumps.

"With who?" She punctuated with a huge pink bubble blown out of her mouth. Her scratchy voice didn't do any better to her image.

He leaned over the counter, approaching Barbie girl to whisper "Doctor Hatake."

"Name?"

"Sarutobi Sasuke."

"Sa-ru-to-" She pronounced the syllables as she slowly typed them on the keyboard, leaving Sasuke patiently wondering who let a moron work in a hospital. "Oh, your name is like-"

"Yes, like the fucking ninja." He replied roughly.

"Sarutobi Sasuke." A new bubble erupted from her mouth and burst in the next second. She collected the leftover gum with her tongue and rebooted the chomping process, only pausing to announce loudly: "Doctor Hatake Kakashi, Urology, 4th Floor."

Annoyance thrilled down his spine as heard Barbie girl practically shouting his reason to be there, as if besides him all the other presents needed to know that too. He glanced to his side, assuring that nobody was looking.

"Did you have to say that?" Sasuke grunted, feeling his face getting warm.

"It's my job." She smirked. "Sign here, Mr. Ninja."

Hostilely he grabbed the paper she handed to him and signed it swiftly. When he lifted his head to gaze upon her again, he found that her head had disappeared behind a gigantic pink bubble, leaving only the two blonde ponytails coming out of the sides.

Oh, she was asking for it.

Grabbing the pen, he pierced through the pink rubber balloon, making it burst loudly and swallow her face and bits of her hair. As she furiously plucked the chewing-gum from her skin, he dropped the pen and walked away to the stairs, with a soft smile of satisfaction.

**::**

Going to the 'cock doctor' isn't easy. It isn't the same as for women, who can talk for endless hours about how great their gynecologist is. You won't hear men talking about the day they saw the urologist and the doc said everything was fine, because urology is practically a taboo issue. A man goes there, sure, but nobody needs to know.

It's like a secret society.

However if you ever hear a man talking about his cock doctor, it would probably be something like this: "I just went there for a routine check and the doc was a total hot chick, so I got a boner just looking at her boobs and she said it was the nicest cock she had ever seen and asked me if she could suck me off."

Which is complete bullshit. Everybody knows that never happens, and that you're generally too nervous to even care about your doctor's gender. But if some friend of yours catches you walking out of the urologist office, you better have some crazy story like that under your sleeve so to explain _why _you went there in the first place. You're going, after all, to pay some guy to touch your shaft, not to mention the torturous waiting in the waiting-room with other guys that are also going to have their shaft grabbed, by the same hands that will be grabbing yours.

But if going to the 'cock doctor' consisted a hard task itself, encountering a known face there never made things easier.

"Oh. Neji."

"Sasuke."

Neji too seemed quite perplexed with the odd moment, not knowing if it was more awkward that he was found there or the fact that he found Sasuke there. They exchanged a sympathetic glare that meant no more than "Don't tell anyone you saw me here", and then Sasuke decided to sit one seat away from him, not so intimately close and yet not so uncongenially far.

After an awfully awkward moment of silence, Neji pretending to be interested in an old newspaper forgotten on the table, Sasuke was about to ask which doctor he was going to (to break the ice, at least) when a nurse walked into the room and called "Hyuuga Neji, door number three please."

**::**

After waiting another half an hour, the nurse finally called Sasuke, who was to direct himself to door number three also. Sasuke didn't enjoy the idea of sharing Neji's urologist, but he figured that the doctor was probably the only one working in the urology section of that hospital that day. Shrugging his grunts away, he followed the middle-aged nurse to his destiny, and entered through the appointed door.

The room was painfully painted in white, like a normal medical room. Sasuke didn't know whose brilliant mind dictated that hospitals and clinics must have white walls for cleanliness purposes, because it only stimulated the nervous system. The doctor's desk was centered in the left half of the room, while a folding-bed and a vase with a dying palm plant could be spotted at the right side. Behind the desk, there was a man with muscled arms.

"What seems to be the problem, Sasuke?" Muscled-arms asked.

Okay, there was something wrong with this picture. That guy was seriously out of context. The man wasn't even wearing a medical smock, donning a black tank top so tight that one could almost count three hundred different muscles only in the torso. He belonged to a gymnasium, not a hospital.

"You're the doctor?" Better ask than guess in these situations.

"Of course." Muscled-arms nodded. "Hatake Kakashi. Did you expect someone else?"

Fantastic. His first urology appointment and the doctor looked like Bruce Lee's body double. He felt like he'd just walked into a lame metaphor of a random gay novel.

Half-reluctantly, half-'I-alrady-paid-for-this-shit-might-as-well-move-along-with-the-appointment', Sasuke sat on the offered seat in front of Mr. Muscles, who also sat on his chair, ready to begin. If Sasuke had to guess, he'd say that Kakashi the Doctor was about thirty-eight and needed to change his hairdresser badly. Apart from the creepy looking scar that slashed his left eye in two, and the odd clinical mask around his mouth (do they let sick doctors work?), he looked pretty much like your average single middle-class physique-obsessed neighbor that goes jogging before breakfast.

"Where's your smock?"

"Why? Would you prefer to see me in a medical smock?"

Sasuke made a wry face at Kakashi's comment. You see, you just have to change the tone intuition and the most random question sounds sexual. And it was sufficiently worrisome that the doctor didn't realize that wearing a tight tank top to perform male genitalia examination was just not politically correct, at least on planet Earth. Yet, ignoring his comment, Sasuke took in a deep sigh and, with a dry expression, he stated: "I have irregular erections."

The doctor had begun reading a couple of papers, for he uttered, without even taking his eyes off them: "Irregular erections? Interesting…"

"It's not interesting. It's already troublesome to be aroused during the most inappropriate situations."

Sasuke chose not to utter any comment related to the one that caused his embarrassing hard-ons, much less referring to his gender. It's not what the doctor needed to know anyway.

"You have a schedule for erections of sorts?"

Kakashi had stopped reading whatever he was, to finally eye his patient. Sasuke hadn't appreciated the still lingering oh-so-subtle mocking tone.

"That's not what I mean! I…well aren't you going to see if everything's okay?"

Without waiting for Kakashi's answer, Sasuke placed in front of him the folded envelope he had carried with him, to which he remarked: "These are my blood and urine tests. I didn't know exactly which squares to check, so I checked them all."

Kakashi seemed somewhat surprised for this self-sufficient patient. He picked up the envelope and carefully pulled out the sheets, and he quickly confirmed that the boy had really ordered a full blood and urine check, even though the majority of the tested issues weren't relevant. His eyes quickly darted through the printed numbers, and after half a minute, he finally commented:

"I don't find anything out of the ordinary here…"

"My testosterone is a bit low." Sasuke trailed in, inwardly doubting the professional competence of the doctor.

The doctor eyed him with a puckered brow and stared back at the results. "Your testosterone is within the limits. It's fine to me."

"Yeah, but it's near the lower limit."

"It's still within the standard limits." Kakashi insisted, and then he added, with his ever-annoying mocking tone: "Though you don't seem to have much body hair, do you?"

What the fuck was wrong with that doctor? Did he take pleasure in mocking at his patients' flaws? It's true that nature didn't grant Sasuke with a proud masculine haired torso, like Asuma's. High school had been demoralizing enough for him, having to endure his classmates showing off their puberty results in the changing rooms after P.E., while Sasuke only had shy samples of keratin on his genitalia.

"Don't worry, this means nothing." The doctor replied with a chuckle, seeing his patient's disheartened face. "Now, shall we proceed to the examination?"

"Examination?"

"Yes. I take it this is your first time, right? Don't worry, it's not a big deal. A man has to do it once in a while." He dropped the papers on the desk and started looking for something in the drawers. "Stand up there next to the bed, please."

Sasuke tightened his grip on the armchairs' edges. That was quick. He expected the doctor to spend more time analyzing his blood results, and enlighten him with a decent clarification that explained why the fuck he felt like faggot every time Itachi's body-in-speedos popped up inside his head (-and shamelessly, that was happening more and more frequently). If low testosterone was the cause, then there would be some pills to get him back to normality, right? He even considered steroids, but he didn't want to risk taking steroids without knowing exactly the side effects. The only person he knew that took steroids was Maito Gai, his former P.E. teacher, but he was still pretty faggoty.

Furthermore, when he scheduled this urology appointment, he was really hoping to avoid the examination part. But seeing Kakashi preparing himself, washing his hands before sliding on the latex gloves, he thought that it probably wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe the answer was in his testicles – who knows, he could find that he had a weird type of cancer that gave him gay thoughts. Better to find these things out now than never.

Gathering courage, he promptly stood up and walked to the folding-bed. He noticed that his hands were shaking when he started unzipping his jeans, and tried to control his cardiac beating before the doctor detected his obvious nervousness. As soon as slid his boxers down to reveal a poorly shrunk manhood, still with few samples of keratin to show, Kakashi leaned down to take a close look at it.

-a very close, prolonged look at it.

Sasuke bit his inferior lip to refrain himself from sarcastically reminding Kakashi that he wasn't looking at a malformed embryo of a dead twin growing out of his pelvis, but a human male not-erected dick.

Now thinking about it, if Kakashi had boobs and severely less body musculature, and if they weren't in an urology room but in a cheap motel room outside Tokyo, this kind of reminded him his of his first time with Sakura.

"Do you feel any kind of pain when you have an erection?"

Kakashi sure didn't expect a serious answer because he made the question with a hand feeling hard his left testicle. Sasuke grimaced uncomfortably and turned his head to the dying plant in the corner of the room. "No…"

Kakashi's hand had slid to the right side of his scrotum, groping the testicle with his seemingly medical rigor.

"Don't feel any nodules. Can you turn around, please?"

"What for?"

Kakashi turned his head upwards. "To do the rectal exam, of course." Yet seeing the frown forming in his patient's features, he appended: "To check your prostate."

This is the part that Sasuke really, really, wanted to avoid. Groping balls was not a big deal, honestly – Tenten did it to him once, to prove a point that he doesn't really remember because the pain was too overwhelming. The 'twist' was the worst part. Asuma even had to give him an ointment to ease the swelling. So if he survived Tenten's castration threat, then a testicles' hand examination was not something that could scare him off.

But shoving a stranger's hand up his anus?

"It's only two fingers, Sasuke." Kakashi assured him.

Why were this guy's comments sounding sexual again? Anyway, Sasuke didn't like the 'rectal exam' idea. It surely won't be painless (not that he was a afraid of pain, but please, it's his private regions), and besides, Sasuke would like to preserve his one-way rectal canal: there ain't no enter door in his ass hole.

"Otherwise the examination would be incomplete."

He glared down at the doctor, trying to detect a hint of mockery in his tone. He sounded pretty serious. Huffing, he obeyed and turned around, bared ass in front of the doctor's face. As he closed his eyes tightly, he thought on what could possibly motivate an intelligent person to seek the profession of an urologist. Kakashi didn't seem like a guy that enjoyed his job. I mean, who would like to spend the entire day groping-

"Aah!-" His thoughts were interrupted by two slick fingers penetrating through his hole. "Shit man, you could've warned me!"

Kakashi, trained to pay no attention to his patients' whims, continued the examination inside his anus, feeling the nut-like muscle under his latex-clad fingertips.

"Don't be such a wuss, this doesn't hurt."

Sasuke grimaced in response, utterly uncomfortable with the experience. If going to the urology had taught him a life lesson already, then that was to never pursue the ways of a faggot. Having a macho man's fingers traveling inside his ass was really an unpleasant experience. He didn't even want to imagine what it was like to have a whole penis.

Really, who could understand gay people… He bet that Sai was like that. Maybe he should give him Kakashi's card.

"Done." Kakashi pulled out his fingers, after which he removed his gloves . "See, it was only twenty seconds."

"The longest twenty seconds of my life." The young brunette snorted. Hastily he dressed his pants, but he still felt the two fingers roaming inside his tensed buttocks.

"Don't be so dramatic."

The doctor walked back to his chair, throwing the gloves in the trash can half way. Grabbing the patient's file, he wrote a few notes there and checked a few blank squares, while Sasuke made himself comfortable again in his chair, trying to relax his buttocks on the velvet seat.

"From what I can tell Sasuke, you don't seem to have any alarming problems. Your testicles and your prostate don't show abnormal signs. Do you have any more problems you'd like to discuss?"

"What kind of problems?"

Kakashi had put down his pen to cross his hands under his chin, gazing at Sasuke with a semi-boring look. It was a fact, the man didn't like his job.

"I don't know. Do you feel anything wrong when you pee?"

"No."

"Any problems during ejaculation?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if your semen isn't white or if it has a peculiar smell."

"No. I don't think so…"

"A strong smell?"

"No!"

Kakashi sighed.

"Any problems? Any sort of pain? Does your penis tilt to the side when you're aroused?"

"No!"

Sasuke frowned, not liking the mocking tone the doctor used in the last question.

Resigning himself with his patient's boring diagnosis, Kakashi grabbed the pen again. He scribbled down some words on a sheet of paper, in the special medical calligraphy invented by doctors that nobody else understood, because no real doctor uses normal handwriting. After that, Kakashi concluded:

"Then you're done."

"I'm done?"

"Yes. Congratulations, you're monotonously healthy."

**:: ::**

Lunch hour couldn't have come in a more suitable moment to clear up his head after the endless two-hour lesson of Legal Philosophy. It had been particularly annoying that morning, for the teacher decided to sort the groups for his class' work presentation himself, and Sasuke found himself having no voice at all in the matter. He was paired right away with Neji, of all the people.

Sasuke even tried to persuade the teacher after class to change groups, arguing that he was used to working with Shino (in fact he came to like Sabrina, Shino's trained centipede and his lucky mascot) and that all the other teachers knew it. Unfortunately, the professor didn't so understand:

"You and Neji are very alike, and you're my top students. I gave you the hardest work assignment, but I know you won't disappoint me."

Alike?! He and Lady Fate? The only thing they had in common was the same urology doctor! And that wasn't even something to be proud of.

Sasuke was therefore annoyed when lunch hour came, yet at the same time eager for the company of his friends, for some time to allow his mind to refresh with Naruto's stupidity and Sai's gayness. Unfortunately, expectation soon was replaced with disappointment, when he saw not just the distinctive figure of Sakura gracing him with her presence, at_ their_ table, but Tenten was also there.

"Sasuke! We were just talking about the tickets!" Naruto's joyful face greeted him, while Sakura just gave him a blank look.

"What tickets?"

Sasuke took the seat next to his blonde friend, as usual. He noticed that the cafeteria was awfully crowded that day. It seemed that half the campus decided to have lunch at the same hour.

"The concert tickets!" Naruto exclaimed, seemingly surprised before his friend's bemused face. "You know, I paid for them already and-"

"I don't remember agreeing on that. I won the pool match, so naturally it nullified the bet."

"You didn't really win, Sasuke." Tenten replied with her typical scratching voice. "Itachi is such a gentleman that he let you win."

The young Sarutobi eyed her with a sneer. "Does that mean that I was also a gentleman when I let them win in the card game?"

Next to Naruto, Sai spit up a bit of his drink, mumbling one "Pardon me" as he cleaned the liquid off the table with a tissue. No one noticed him though, too busy watching Tenten's face distorting into an ugly grimace.

"Gentleman? You?!" Tenten slammed her hands on the table. "You treat women like objects, you chauvinist playboy!"

Before Sasuke could interject that, Sakura opened her mouth:

"He didn't treat me like an object." And she punctuated, lazily playing with her glass: "If he did, that means he caressed me and kissed me all the time like he does with his _bike_."

Laughs erupted between the occupants of the table, while Sasuke made a wry mouth.

"I don't kiss my bike!"

"Actually, you did once-" Sai tried to correct his sentence, but he was immediately interrupted with a grunt and a death glare from the Sarutobi.

"I was _drunk_!"

Sai shrugged, and Naruto tried to ease Sasuke's irritation with a friendly slap on his back. In front of him, still giggling, Sakura decided to resume the initial topic of discussion: "Fine but please just pay your part of the concert tickets to Naruto, it's not fair that he's always the one who pays for everything."

"Why the hell are we still talking about the stupid concert tickets? I won the swimming bet _fairly_, end of story."

Naruto bit his inferior lip, yet he optioned to remain silent. Tenten was going to tell anyway. And knowing his friend as well as he did, Sasuke would probably take that little info in form of another stab to his ego.

"You don't know?" Tenten inquired, with a somewhat scary facial expression that revealed surprise and excitement at the same time. When Tenten made that face, that meant something unpleasant was about to come out of her mouth.

"Know what?"

"Itachi used to be a swimmer. He even won two medals at some junior swimming championship."

Sasuke was bemused. Itachi was a championship swimmer? That would explain the stupid speedos. Wait. Did that really mean that Itachi _let _him won? On purpose?

Why would he do that?

"Itachi is just trying to do well with Sakura's friends and since you're obviously a whiney loser, he had to fake defeat to be in good terms with you."

Was that what really happened? Did Itachi think he was so full of himself that he didn't know how to lose? Was that the impression he gave him at the card game?

Sasuke would have ten times preferred to lose the bet than have Itachi let him win. He knew he was sometimes a bit full of himself but hell, it's way more humiliating to be treated like a kid.

It's humiliating to know that Itachi thought so low of him.

Their friends had trailed into a new topic conversation, making jokes about a certain teacher that they all seem to have in common, leaving Sasuke to his secluded thoughts. He was having that feeling again, the obnoxious feeling of insecurity; it was like his persona was shattering down and everybody else could his pathetic true self.

He hated this feeling. He used to feel like that a lot of time, when he was in Junior High. He used to resolve his mind problems with his fists on someone else's face, but after three years in consulting-rooms he understood that violence only caused a short-lived placebo effect, and that his insecurities will never go away.

(But he _hated_ that part of him. He hated what he used to be. He hated what he still was, in some ways. He hated Orochimaru for deluding him with a false image of a father-figure and then destroying it, along with his dreams.)

As he hated everyone in that table, and their stupid obnoxious laughs, so fucking loud and irritating. They were talking at the same time and chewing their food with open mouths, so ungracefully, so fucking annoying.

'_..you're obviously a __whiney__ loser!...' _

That place was too crowded; too noisy but not noisy enough to muffle his distressed mind. Without previous warning, Sasuke stood up wordlessly and walked away to the exit door, ignoring Naruto's voice calling him back.

**:: ::**

It was indescribably hot inside the KillerBee's Car Garage. Burnt steam from the vehicles' engines condensed in the air, creating a special climate in that repair shop and possibly some cancerous cells in the full-time workers.

"Assistant, pay attention. Stop looking at Samui's boobs. I know they're amazing, but now this is important. "

"I wasn't looking at her boobs." He grunted.

He wasn't. He was actually looking at the owner of the garage, an obnoxious creature self-entitled Killer Bee, and wondering if he and Kakashi perhaps didn't go to the same gymnasium. Well, Kakashi was still a million push-ups behind Killer Bee's impressive body mass.

Sasuke was considering in entering a gymnasium too. It's not that he was scrawny. He actually had some muscles, though not very well defined. And his stomach was a bit flat. I mean, he had like a _suggestion _of abdominal packs and-

"Did you see how it's done?"

Omoi, one of the garage's mechanics, was supposedly teaching him how to change the oil filter of a car. When Sasuke applied to this job, Killer Bee made it clear that he was going to be just an assistant in the first few months; if he was a quick learner, he could be a professional mechanic one day. He said that in form of a lousily rhymed rap, to which Sasuke had to take a moment to assemble in the forms of structured sentences. By then he knew that he didn't want to spend enough time in that garage to reach the status of professional mechanic. He wasn't sure how many headaches per day he could handle.

"I know how to change an oil filter, Omoi."

He was only there to help Asuma and Kurenai's quivering finances anyway. As soon as Asuma's job stabilized and those cocksuckers started paying his salary delay, he'd quit.

"Hey kid." Omoi got up on his knees threateningly to glare at the young Sarutobi, his face standing inches from his. "You are my assistant. This is your first day. Therefore, you know nothing, understood? You only know what I teach you. Now, assistant, go change the oil and the filter of that Honda."

Sasuke shot him a glare coupled with a smug 'hnf', but he turned on his heels obediently. Needless to say that he didn't have a liking for that Omoi guy.

As he was walking towards the old white Honda, he felt a drop of sweat forming in his temple. Really, the garage was impossibly hot. No wonder why all the guys there weren't wearing many clothes. Omoi was even working with a bare chest.

He opened the driver's door and reached for the keys inside the vehicle, turning on the engine to warm up the oil. He decided to turn it off after half a minute, just in case the oil came out at a tricky angle (you never know with old cars). He cleaned the sweat off his forehead to his forearm, cursed again the temperature inside the shop, and reached for the tool cart. His shirt felt heavy and uncomfortable, and when he lifted his arm he noticed a sweat stain forming in the armpit.

"Don't be shy, kid. You can take your shirt off, we ain't gonna bite you." A passing by black-skinned young woman commented. "You betta get used to this place, 'cause sometimes it gets even hotter." She pointed to a group of men working on a couple of vehicles with bared chests. She wasn't wearing much either, only a tiger-like piece of clothing barely covered her breasts, exposing proudly her nice toned abdominals. She probably had more muscles than him, Sasuke noted with some jealously.

He decided to follow her advice and get rid of the top attire. He felt a bit uncomfortable – he always felt uncomfortable when showing his hairless, not tanned, not very muscled body in the middle of men that…well, looked like _men,_ with lots of testosterone – but really, he couldn't work any other way under that burning environment. Turning the engine off, he skirted around the car and opened the hood, to remove the oil filter cap.

When he positioned himself under the car, and located for the oil pan, he realized that changing the oil of that car wasn't going to be as simple. Someone had put an external drain valve that was now in a complete mess, rusty all over and above. Probably bought in a Chinese store, no trusted brand would fabricate a piece of crap like that. He tried to open the valve but it was stuck, so he exerted more strength and, in the blink of an eye, the valve suddenly broke and he was bathed in glory with half a liter of oil.

"Shit!"

That was just great. First five minutes in this new job and he was already all oiled and sweaty. Fucking Chinese. It should be illegal to buy things from those swindlers. Fortunately he didn't let the engine warm the oil too much, otherwise he could have risked a burn.

"Assistant! Assistant!"

'_Now what?!'_ Sliding out from under the car, he grabbed a towel and cleaned the excess oil off his face, passing it over his neck and his hair. He then walked towards a screaming Omoi, not too many feet away from him.

"My name is Sasuke and my hearing capability is excellent."

Omoi lifted an eyebrow, clearly not liking his sarcasm. His eyes diverted to Sasuke's naked chest, greasily shining and covered with dark stains of rusty oil. "I said to change the oil, not to make out with the car."

The other pouted. "It's the oil drain valve, that thing is-"

"I don't care, assistant. When I give you an order, you obey. Now, I need you to interrupt whatever you were doing to change the oil of that Aston Martin. You're lucky pal, your first day and you already get the pleasure to touch a car like that."

As soon as he uttered the words 'Austin Martin', Sasuke flipped his head around immediately to find the car, and he even gulped when he saw it.

What a priceless beauty. That wasn't_ just_ an Austin Martin. It was a carbon black Austin Martin DBS Volante, year 2009 definitely, a fucking special edition! Touchtronic gearbox, with automatic paddle-shift transmission, obsidian black leather interior trim with silver stitching, firmer suspension, and a 5.9L V12 engine specially modified to decrease its weight and improve its performance…

"Stop drooling kid. The owner is in hurry, so get your ass to work. And don't screw up, the owner is someone famous."

Omoi had pointed to a guy that Sasuke assumed to be the owner, a tall good-looking guy wearing a polo shirt and an air of smugness all around him. He sure looked like he had just walked out of the pages of a women's magazine.

"Who's he?"

Omoi shrugged. "Dunno. Karui thinks he's a model or something. Or an actor. Dunno. Go on, don't just stand there!"

He received a slap on the black, making him almost trip on the floor. Grunting, Sasuke complied, feeling somewhat ridiculous for having to now work shirtless, with oil still dripping on his chest. As he walked towards the Austin Martin, he noticed that its windows had been darkened, either to protect the owner's privacy or to make people outside assume that whoever was in that car was someone famous. Visibly, the guy might look like someone who spends half a day taking care of his appearance but Sasuke had never seen him before.

The Unheard Model-Slash-Actor stepped in when Sasuke approached the vehicle, his arms crossed over his chest like he wanted to inspect every one of his moves.

"They sent a new guy to treat my baby?"

Sasuke grimaced. A guy that addresses his car as his 'baby' in public; it's clearly a sign of a shitty personality. Though Sasuke knew well enough about Austin Martins, including the type of oils recommended for their engines, so he judiciously optioned to bluntly ignore his comment. Yet when he was about to touch his 'baby', the guy slammed his hand on the hood, glaring at Sasuke with obvious distrust.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes." Sasuke replied with scorn. What was his problem anyway? It was just to change the oil, not to dismantle the fucking car.

"What's going on, Shisui?"

That voice.

That unmistakable, deep, husky, _manly _voice.

Stepping out of the passenger seat, there was one Uchiha Itachi, always stylishly dressed in a satin-like black suit with a perfectly ironed white shirt and a carnelian red necktie. His hair was again tied in a ponytail (what's the point of having long hair if you always have it tied back?), two rebel strands of hair falling on each side of his face. His hands were slipping out of his trousers' pockets, and one could clearly distinguish the shining silver metal of a Rolex around his left wrist.

Frankly, this was the first time Sasuke noticed so many details of one person is less than two seconds.

"Good morning, Sasuke." Itachi halted before him with a smirk, standing only seven feet away from him. And Sasuke remembered to close his mouth.

"You know this guy?" Shisui the Model-Slash-Actor asked. For a moment, Sasuke had completely forgotten him.

"He is…" Itachi took one step closer. Five feet away. "…an acquaintance of mine."

He felt Itachi's intruding black eyes descending to his mouth, and then landing on his filthy oiled chest. It caused the younger to take a shy step back, as he remembered his ridiculous physical emergence. Sasuke had many times felt like a faggot, but never before had he felt like he'd just walked out of a gay porn script and now the sole member of his audience was expecting him to rub his nipples with the oil smeared over his torso.

(He actually wouldn't mind doing it. In fact, he was getting quite aroused with that thought.)

"Lovely." Shisui snorted sarcastically. "I think I'll go get a cup of coffee in that pigsty across the street while the oil is being changed. Are you coming?"

Itachi didn't even look at him. He replied with a dragged "No", adding "I think I'll just stay here", followed by a surprised interjection on the Model-Slash-Actor:

"It's frickin' hot in here!"

"It is." He replied, but kept his eyes still on Sasuke's body. Oddly, he didn't seem to be commenting on the temperature inside the garage.

Shisui didn't seem to like Itachi's response. He glared at Sasuke instead, grunting: "If the oil gets burnt, I'll send the bill to your house. Trust me, you don't want to spend the rest of your life paying for your inexperience."

With that said, he opened the car's door to grab his jacket, snorted one "I'll be right back" and exited the garage in large steps and with an upturned nose.

"You work here?"

Itachi's eyes caught his again, and again Sasuke felt himself being swallowed into this man's alluring presence, and the mysterious aura that seemed to emanate from his pours. Reluctantly he broke the eye contact to dress his gloves, and proceeded to open the hood of the car. "Only part-time."

He took notice of the shortened gap between them, as he removed the oil filter cap. Dry-swallowing, he made every effort in trying to calm his frenetic heartbeats and ignore Itachi's presence whatsoever, because at this moment he was wishing that Itachi would have just gone with that Shisui guy to the café across the street.

Walking away from the hood to grab the basin and the wrench, Sasuke positioned himself under the vehicle. As he located the drain plug, he heard Itachi's steps reaching his laid form, though the guy was still oddly quiet.

"So, you used to be a professional swimmer."

Sasuke almost had to yell to be heard, and immediately he felt rather stupid for making such a paltry comment. He really didn't want to bring up the subject. During the past weeks, he had been working on the task of ignoring that a certain Uchiha Itachi existed, moreover affected him immensely, but of course it was downright impossible when the man was so physically close to him and looking fascinating as ever.

But Itachi fell on his knees, titled his head sideways to reply: "I wouldn't use the word 'professional'."

With a snort Sasuke grabbed the oil-filled basin and got himself out from under the car, dropping it near the tool cart. Dragging it to the car's front, he selected the proper oil filter, after which he leaned himself over the hood to remove the old oil filter.

'…_one-time offer…'_

He mentally cursed, and shook his head from the mischievous memento. That was too surreal to be true. Really, he must've dreamt it. Since when would Itachi…like…pimp himself to Sasuke? Though he did it dozens of times in his dreams, but that's because Sasuke had some sort of clinical problem. Dick problem. He should've known that going to that urologist would be a waste of time.

Sasuke dared himself a quick glance, only see Itachi loosening the tie around his neck and opening the top button on his shirt. Shit. He really had a nice neck.

"How about 'sandbagger'? Fit you better?" Sasuke snorted sarcastically. Why was he unable to shut up about the stupid swimming contest?

He heard Itachi sigh.

"So you think I let you win."

The young Sarutobi straightened his body, leveling his angry eyes with Itachi's mysterious gaze. His face was two inches from his, but Itachi didn't step back. He kept smirking.

(-what tempting lips-)

"You think it's funny? You think I can't take a real match?!"

"I'm afraid I didn't let you win, Sasuke."

"Bullshit."

Infuriated, Sasuke jostled past him to go grab a pair of oil bottles from the shelves, and when he returned to his initial position Itachi had to step back to avoid another shove.

"I had a cramp." He said, while Sasuke was pouring the liquid into the engine through a strainer.

"What?"

"I had a cramp in my leg." Itachi repeated. He stepped closer, brushing his clothed arm on Sasuke's bare torso. "I was in bad shape, for I haven't swum in almost 10 years."

He realized now that Itachi was practically talking to his ear, as someone from the other side of the garage decided to make use of a borer. His body seemed to have gained free will, since he found himself leaning to his touch, faintly brushing his oiled skin under his ribs on Itachi's suit jacket, in a way that would seem erotic in any other context.

"It was a fair win; however I acknowledge it was an unfair bet, which I beseech you to let me make up for it."

Sasuke even sustained his breath when Itachi's breath tickled in his cheek. He was feeling it again. The adrenaline rush in his belly, the itching in his groin. Like the feeling before bungee-jumping.

"How?"

"Let me treat you for dinner, at least."

A dinner? Just the two of them?

"As friends?"

Stupid question, stupid brain, stupid hormones.

"Whichever you prefer."

"Are you done?"

Shisui's unforeseen voice startled him, making him almost drop the empty oil bottle inside the hood. Itachi stepped aside while Sasuke clumsily screwed on the oil filler cap. For some reason he felt like he had almost been caught in his secret, and he didn't need a second glance to know that the Model-Slash-Actor wasn't at all pleased to find him deep-rooted in Itachi's natural seductiveness. Probably because Sasuke could have already finished the job if he wasn't too busy being melted by a certain someone's voice.

"I just need to check the level of the oil."

"You still haven't done it?!"

Avoiding ablaze eyes, Sasuke prepared to skirt the car towards the driver's seat, bowed head to prove his sorry. Shisui – once an innocent boy whose sudden fame sacrificed his character to general social hostility –halted the novice mechanic with a threatening glare when he tried to open the driver's door.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I need to start the engine to level the oil and-"

"Keep your filthy hands off my baby. I'll turn the car on."

"Fine." Sasuke grunted, and stepped back, head down.

Through the corner of his eye he caught Itachi watching them, with hands in his pockets and with a nonchalant expression. Whatever was happening between them, the minute that prick came, it disappeared.

After Shisui turned off the engine, Sasuke checked the oil level in the dipstick and place it back inside the hood. As soon as he closed the hood, Shisui stuck his head out of the window and called out Itachi, starting the engine again. Itachi nodded, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets. Yet when he passed by Sasuke, he stopped before him; he approached his ear and said:

"Tomorrow." Sasuke momentarily forgot breathing while Itachi's lips barely touched his earlobe, their chests practically touching. "I'll pick you up at 7."

Shisui's yell "Itachi!" followed by an angry honk snatched the seductive Uchiha out of Sasuke's petrified body. Itachi walked away to the car, and when the young Sarutobi remembered breathing again, he saw the Austin Martin leaving the garage at full speed.

**::**

**::**


	7. Date

I should warn you that there will be drama in this story. Not _that _much though. Probably as much drama as the lion population in current Africa, if you want me to be specific.

Also thanks to **Mer-des-Miroirs **for her contribution to this chapter.

___

* * *

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**::**

**::**

_~Warning: the following scene does not belong to a tacky Japanese soap written by a drunken hippie, even though it looks like it~_

It was near the end of '87 and life was like a wild dream of shrill colors and cheap synthesizers.

The sons of those who lived during the forced Japan's reconciliation with Beijing breathed their teenage years with joy and tolerance, spending their allowance on the addictive sounds of pop music. The new generation no longer had fun picnics under _sakura_ trees; they wanted to party until late hours with no parenting restrictions. They wanted to experience new sensations; to dance until collapsing, alcohol shots, spangles, _speeds_, menthol cigarettes and music posters. They were young, beautiful, full-spirited and Karaoke was for old people.

And as the majority of teenagers chose the popular discotheques that glorified the new idols of the national culture, those who found J-pop to be nothing more than obnoxious sounds and empty sound lyrics eventually found their night's destiny in downtown's underground discotheque:

_Insomnia._

Probably one of the very few places in Kyoto that could play the Western hits along with visual kei songs, making the art of dancing more versatile than a chameleon. The dj's were loved for that, because everybody was there for one thing only, and that was to dance and think of nothing else.

She was different from the usual girls that came to _Insomnia_ every Saturday night. On the outside she was a well-bred girl, with innocent smiles that secured her the right to be seen as a lady. Nobody questioned the fairness of her gestures, the delicacy of her stand, the sweetness of her words. She never wore lipstick under the daylight, nor any other shameless makeup to cover natural beauty. For others she was beautiful, cute, innocent, obedient, polite; she was the embodiment of every Japanese romance novel's heroine. She knew how to cook, how to sing Misora Hibari's enka songs perfectly. She was taught to be the complete package of the perfect wife, and good boys of traditional values have fallen in love for the golden box that cloistered her.

Except that, she wasn't Japanese. She came from those ill-spoken Chinese immigrant neighborhoods that many Japanese, still full of prejudices, frowned upon. She was perfect on the outside but her blood lineage betrayed her, and all she wished was to be accepted and loved in a country that judges a book by its cover.

That's probably why she came to_ Insomnia_, a place where no one was really Japanese, Korean, Chinese or African; yet they all spoke the same musical language on the dancefloor. The original owner would eventually decease in the 90's (and until the new millennium the small discotheque would suffer numerous changes by different managers); but in the 80's, it was one of the few places in Kyoto where 'freedom' and 'individuality' were the norms. And inside _Insomina_, under the addictive sounds of Duran Duran and Buck Tick, all the guys wanted to be with her.

Music is a powerful liberator. For one hour straight, she let go of her demons and freed herself on the dancefloor. Her lips moved along with the words of Madonna's _Material Girl_, and even though her English was weak, he knew she felt she could be related to that song. There was a whole life full of adventures out there waiting for her, a life that her traditional parents, her xenophobic neighbors and her shapeless boyfriend wanted to repel from her-

But not tonight. Tonight she was going to dance every made-in-American song that hit that dancefloor, and tonight – she was more _fascinating_ than everything. Her long black hair reflected the colored lights of the disco ball; her soft pale skin shined more brightly than her spangled dress. He was observing her from the bar's counter, watching her hypnotizing body's movements with rapt attention as she followed the rhythm of the MTV hits.

And then, suddenly, she stopped. She stopped to look at him.

She only looked at him. It was a strange yet powerful, overwhelming feeling to be the sole receptor of her admiration, her emotions, her beautiful dark eyes that were only for him. _Him_, the school's football team mascot, and not Kakashi, the popular jock. A beautiful, intelligent girl like her…smiling at him… wanting him to be her knight, her sole protector, her….

She probably liked to see him dance – he might not be exactly popular at high school, but at _Insomnia _he surely was the king of the dance floor. Dreams of a music career led him to perfect the dance moves, and now he was pretty confident of himself when he hit the floor.

"What are you standing there for? Come dance!"

She spun around herself and laughed, and her face was so stunning. He still didn't know what she saw in a sixteen-year-old like him, when she was already a freshman in college. A lot of guys would sing serenades only for her smile, but she wasn't paying attention to other guys. She was special. She _existed_. And he existed for her.

"Xing-Juan…"

He loved her name. It meant 'propagating grace' in Chinese. It fitted her, in an ironic way.

He stretched his hand, urging to touch the skin of her cheek, urging to feel her warmness beneath his fingers. She kept smiling and giggling, and whispering something he couldn't hear.

"What?"

Her lips moved again, shaping into more soundless words, and he stepped closer to her, tried to muffle the loud sound of the music to hear her.

"Say again?"

He took another step, eyes locked in her mesmerizing black glaze, and they were so close…

"I said wake up!"

**::**

Asuma snapped out his dream so violently that he almost fell off the couch. Dazed and half-asleep, he looked around, mildly recognizing his own living room. He saw her standing in front of him with a frown, looking somehow confused. She cut her hair.

"Xing-Juan…" He jerked his hand, trying to reach her face, her skin, her touch.

But she snapped his hand off her, and her frown hardened and she…

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Wait a minute. He blinked his eyes. Her face was fading away, giving place to the confused presence of his son (-the eyes looked surprisingly similar…-). Asuma shook his head, foreseeing a small headache coming through, and he scanned around the room. The disco lights were slowly vanishing back in the grey walls of his apartment.

"Sasuke?"

"Who the hell is Xing-Juan?"

Half-disoriented, he turned his head and blinked again. He could still see her face in vanishing bits of flash backs, and the awkwardness of his pseudo-somnambulistic gesture roused him up to reality. (her face eventually fade out completely when his dazzling eyes met the family picture hung next to the television)

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else…" He forced out a dorky laugh, but he still couldn't understand why the dream was so livid, why she seemed so… real.

Why on earth had he dreamt about her, after all those years? He thought he had forgotten her altogether.

Sasuke, standing on his feet, wasn't so much interested in digging further into past crushes of a middle-aged man (though that scene before was very awkward; for a moment he thought Asuma was going to kiss him or something), so he quickly changed the subject while the man was still yawning:

"Why are you home? Weren't you supposed to be at work?"

The older man sat on the couch, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I was laid off."

Sasuke swallowed dryly. "Laid off?"

"Nah, don't worry, it's not like they fired me! They're just having some problems. You know, the usual. You'll see, soon they'll be calling me back!"

Asuma was laughing silly, shrugging like it was nothing. Yet the nervous twitch in the corner of his lips, and the frenetic scratching of his nape, didn't fool Sasuke. It was serious, they were really having problems. If Sasuke's mind hadn't been so occupied with trifles and meaningless dilemmas like if Itachi would look better in a PVC Batman costume, or mounting a horse naked with cowboy boots…

Wow, that dream from the day before yesterday was still impressively fresh.

"I got a new weekend job." He announced, clearing his head of more improper thoughts. "I started yesterday, actually."

Asuma's puckered brow immediately told him that he didn't like the idea. Sasuke was already anticipating the dialogue before the older man opened his mouth:

"I'd much prefer that you concentrated on your studies, Sasuke. These jobs are only going to distract you from your academic responsibilities. Your future is more important to us than-"

"Don't worry, it won't delay my studies." Sasuke cut his speech harshly and, without adding anything more, he walked to his bedroom leaving Asuma in the living room. He stopped before turning to the hallway. "Oh, I almost forgot. Can I see your clothes? In the closet, I mean."

Asuma gazed at him, bemused at his demand.

"What for?"

"Just…er…nothing special."

Asuma observed Sasuke nervously scratching the back of his neck. He seemed embarrassed. It was then that bulb inside Asuma's head lightened, and he grinned like the proud father that he was:

"You have a date! Who's the lucky girl? Is it that girl…what's her name…Sakura or something?"

He looked rather static, and Sasuke couldn't help to feel a little angry with the man. Why did he always assume that whatever Sasuke did was always because of girls? Geez, there are more things in the world than pussies.

"No. It's not a date. I'm just going out with a friend."

"Right…." Asuma kept grinning. He looked like an idiot when he grinned like that. "Picking up girls, then?"

Sasuke sighed. There's no point with Asuma. "Yeah, whatever. I take that as a 'yes'."

Turning on his heels, Sasuke left him stretching out in the living room, to go ferret in his old clothes. He knew Asuma still kept all his clothes from his youth in a box inside his closet. He also knew that he was quite vain, so he probably had tons of outfits stored. With luck he could find something that resembled the cool badass-look he saw in a magazine's cover back in the kiosk.

**:: ::**

For Naruto, life was like a box full of surprises.

The biggest surprise that the gods offered him was, without a doubt, his missing mother, whose existence for so many years remained in the darkness. Not a single phone-call, a birthday card, or even a whisper; she just appeared as the same way she had vanished. But he forgave her.

Another big surprise was probably when Sai confessed to him. Truth was, Naruto thought it was a joke. Or maybe it was the mischievous wittiness of the gods when they created coincidences, because Sai had to choose Fool's Day when he said that he loved him like a man and a woman were supposed to love. And thanks to it, until now Naruto continued having doubts about his true intention (he never had the courage to ask Sai, if he would say the same thing on any other day of the year).

(He also didn't know what would he answer, had it been any other normal day).

But as the religious people say, the gods are greater and wiser than any living being on Earth, so is their sense of humor. And today, Naruto received a phone-call from one Sarutobi Sasuke that wanted nothing more of him than – to help him choose an outfit.

This was very, very weird. Not only was his best friend the living exception that proved the rule that says all Japanese guys are metrosexual, Sasuke was also the type of guy who could care less about the color of his tie in a black-and-white diner, but never forgets to bring his favorite brand of condoms.

At first, Naruto thought that he was drunk and hit his head on another tree that happened to be crossing the road, but 3 in the afternoon was a little too soon for alcohol, even for Sasuke. He also wasn't feeling like dragging his ass off of his comfy sofa, stealing his father's car keys and driving all the way to Sasuke's house, only to find him again 'alcoholized and moronized'. Though he was curious to know if Kiba's stupid theory about alcohol in urine was really bullshit – if he lit a match and threw it at Sasuke's piss, would the toilet really explode? He didn't think so, but it wouldn't hurt to try it. Kurenai might not be pleased if it works.

Yet of all the things he could expect from Sasuke, seeing him dressed with tight leather pants and a gang-style jacket for a supposedly friendly dinner, was really not in the list. When Naruto arrived at his place and saw Sasuke's perfectly neat closet completely ravished, and a pile of clothes spread over Sasuke's bed, a scenery shockingly similar to Naruto's own room, the first thing that crossed his mind was that someone kidnapped his friend and sent an Elvis Presley fan in his replacement.

Sasuke didn't seem bothered with Naruto's shocked expression, as he nonchalantly asked Naruto how he looked, but the blond felt that it was a tricky question.

"Hurry up Naruto, these pants are cutting off my circulation." He grunted, massaging his leather-clad inner thighs. "How do I look?"

Naruto honestly didn't know what went through his friend's head to suddenly decide that a rockabilly's look fit his image, but knew it wasn't alcohol.

"Like you're about to sing the _Jailhouse Rock_."

He even had pomade in his hair.

The brunette let out another grunt and hastily began to remove his pants, seeming somewhat relieved to get rid of that leather prison. His thighs were in fact a bit reddened, and Naruto inwardly wondered what was so manly about the 'rebel boy' image. He too had once tried some tight leather pants (well, it was Sai who suggested it, and it was just for the fun), but after two hours with that fabric sticking to his muscles, he could no longer feel his balls, much less his legs.

"Where are you going anyway?" Naruto frowned. He knew Sasuke was omitting VID's. Very Important Details.

"Just a friendly dinner."

Friendly dinners don't generally require more than your casual clothes. Someone's gotta give.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you going to help me choose or what?"

Naruto compelled, still too surprised to make a joke about Sasuke's new type of underwear that he had never seen before: black briefs? Last time he saw his friend this naked, he was wearing baggy boxers.

Something was going on.

"Why don't you try a shirt?"

It was a simple idea, but when he saw Sasuke trying to reach for one of the one hundred black shirts he had, he thought it wise to add: "A color shirt."

This suggestion seemed to have puzzled Sasuke, who with a closet that now resembled a fashion shop in sale season, didn't seem to know where to look. Naruto could almost see his brain synapsing the information, as he stared at the bundle of black mess he made in his closet. After a dilatory inspection, Sasuke apparently managed to unearth a wrinkled non-black shirt, which unfortunately wasn't exactly what Naruto chromatically had in mind.

A wrinkled shit – now this is something he never saw in Sasuke's bedroom.

"That is not a color shirt."

"Of course it is. It's steel blue."

"Steel blue, my ass." Naruto snorted. "That's the color my black T-shirts are left with after I wash them."

"That's because you're a moron."

Naruto replied with puckered brows, and Sasuke sighed.

"I have some white shirts."

"No white shirts! You're already white enough! You want to be mistaken for the walls of the restaurant Sasuke? Colors, Sasuke, _colors_!" Geez, his friend was unbelievable. Even their country's flag had more colors than Sasuke's closet.

Sasuke sighed again, noticeably becoming more frustrated at Naruto's pertinacity.

It was probably a mistake to call Naruto for help, but sadly, he didn't have many straight friends to resort to in times of a self-esteem crisis. Sure he knew other straight guys who probably wouldn't mind giving their opinion in male fashion without mocking him (not if Sasuke threatened them first), though they weren't a very reliable source. Suigestu doesn't believe in the aesthetic value of clothes; he neither seems to spend much time wearing them as he spends being naked fucking a girl, or something that resembles a human being with large breasts. Shino, as far as he knew, only wore mackintoshes. Kiba smells like a dog and thinks like a dog, and Rock Lee is out of the question.

There was still Shikamaru, but Sasuke never liked him. Kurenai thought it was jealously, for Shikamaru started getting along really well with Asuma after a summer course that Asuma supervised as a technician, but that wasn't it. Sasuke just didn't like him, period. Nobody likes a guy who spends the entire day looking at shitting birds and boring clouds.

Therefore, Naruto was the only option he had left. And Sasuke didn't want to end up looking like the cleaning lady's son, because he suspected that Itachi was going to bring him to some fangle restaurant where the waiters' clothes cost more than his left kidney. Sure the leather outfit wasn't the best idea either, but you never know what's an Armani or a Gucci these days.

"I have a baby blue shirt." He finally gave in, adding: "With pink stripes."

It was Sakura's gift, actually, for their one year's anniversary. It came with a card saying: "_Your blue heart is crying / Let me imprint it / With spring blossoms_". Only this didn't win the award for the worst haiku of the century, because Sasuke had the privilege to read worse in some of the love letters he received in high school.

"Cool! Let me see."

Sasuke opened the bottom drawer of the closet, removed the pile of clothes above and took out the mentioned shirt, giving it to Naruto. It wasn't really baby blue but more light blue, with a pattern of thin, vertical lines along the pale pink colored fabric.

"Nice. Why don't you try this on?"

"It's not my style."

"And the leather pants are?" He pointed out. "C'mon, I bet it'll look good on you. When I'm on a date I don't wear my usual clothes either."

"But I'm not like you."

Naruto smirked. Oh boy, Sasuke was too easy to read sometimes.

"I knew it! You just admitted you're going on a date!"

It was for moments like these that Naruto lived for: the pleasure of seeing Sasuke's serious face being betrayed by his own little secret. Red like a tomato. Fantastic.

"So, who's the chick?"

"It's not a date!" Of course, Sasuke will always deny it. "And if you're that interested, I'm going out to a friendly dinner with Itachi."

Wow, wow –WOW! _Something_ was definitely going on.

Just the other day, Sai told him that Sakura came to him asking if a guy who rejects a woman's offer for oral sex is definitely gay, or can still be straight with reasonable explanation. Apparently Sai answered that most gay men would probably not reject an oral sex offer, because they can still close their eyes and imagine it was a guy – and besides, men are men, they're biologically sexually-driven creatures. Anyway, it was a weird explanation that Naruto didn't agree with, but assuming that Sakura was talking about Itachi, it was really odd. Unless Itachi was one of those freaks that believed in abstinence, which he didn't seem so, there was a possibility– and I know this will sound_ crazy_ – that Itachi wasn't sexually interested in Sakura. He asked his friend if he thought Itachi was gay, but Sai's gay-radar had probably gone out of battery that day because he said he didn't know for sure, although he did hear Itachi back at Neji's pool party referring to the color of the stripes on his speedos as 'magenta'.

According to Sai's strange knowledge, straight men usually say 'red' or 'pink', not 'magenta' (though that still doesn't prove anything, because Naruto never heard Sai saying 'magenta' either). But anyway, if their assumptions were correct, and if Itachi was in fact _gay_, and he was going out with Sasuke…

Should he warn Sasuke?

"I look ridiculous in this." Sasuke's comment snapped him out of his thoughts, who was now criticizing his own mirror reflection with the blue shirt on.

"It brings out the color of your eyes."

Naruto wasn't really paying attention to his words, as his mind was still focused on trying to find the best way to tell Sasuke what he thought about Itachi. But there's no real good way to tell a thing like that, isn't it? Not that Naruto was homophobic or something like that, but if you're going out with someone that poses high probability of wanting more than a friendly talk with you, you have the right to know it first. As you also have the right to refuse if you don't feel the same way-

"My eyes aren't blue, you moron." Sasuke hissed. "This was a complete waste of time. Why did I even bother to call you…"

Naruto gasped. What- that is unbelievable! He drove all the way to his house to help him and this is how he thanks him?

Oh screw it! His ungrateful friend deserved it anyway.

"You know what, Sasuke?" Naruto grinned, deviously. "I just remembered, that tight shirt you have looks really awesome on you."

Sasuke frowned. "What, the one that Kurenai bought me? I thought that was a bit gay."

"What, that? It's totally the new male fashion. Trust me, you'll look_ awesome_."

For a moment Sasuke seemed to doubt Naruto's words, but he eventually shrugged and went back to the contents of his closet, searching for the mentioned shirt.

Today's meteorologists predicted a sudden drop of temperature in the evening. And if Itachi was really gay, he will gladly notice the weather report on Sasuke's sticky nipples.

**:: ::**

For once, Itachi was driving a different car. Not an SUV; this one was antique, and it looked like a mix of a Lamborghini and a 70's Cadillac in its shortened version. High in the sky, the moon was vainly struggling against the misty cape of pollution to provide sufficient light to Sasuke catch the signature, when he skirted around the car: it was really a Lamborghini. A fucking Lamborghini, most certainly of limited edition. How many expensive cars did that guy own by himself?

Itachi was talking to his cell phone when Sasuke slid over the passenger's seat, though e hung up immediately, after snorting "We'll discuss it later" through gnashed teeth. His eyebrows were puckered into the mien of vexation, and he threw the mobile onto the back seat as unreflectingly as foreign his gesture seemed. This had been the first time that Sasuke saw this almost-chimerical character appearing so discompose, and in a silly manner, it pleased him, knowing that Itachi was, in the end, a human being that walked on planet Earth.

(There were ways to ruffle his fancy feathers, after all)

Itachi recovered from his anger access in a blink, after scanning Sasuke up and down with one puckered eyebrow. Then, he proceeded: "Shall we go?"

His lip curled, but his eyes weren't smiling. Sasuke could tell he was still pissed at whoever was on the phone, but he was doing an amazing job to look as fashionably impassive as ever. He couldn't help to feel that he was getting closer to decipher Itachi's facial microexpressions, as that little flick in the corner of the mouth he seemed to do when something else was nagging him…

"Nice car." He commented. He wasn't trying to break the silence (or maybe he was, but that's a mere triviality), but he had just realized that the engine didn't make much noise when Itachi turned him on. Which was odd, since it was supposedly a 70's European car.

"It's a 74' Lamborghini Jarama."

He tried to observe Itachi's expression, but his eyes were rigidly fixed on the road. He though sounded a bit proud of the car he owned – and he should be, it was a fantastic piece of Italian metal.

"Is this the one with an automatic transmission as an option?"

"Yes. Though I prefer using the manual transmission."

Sasuke's eyes widened. He read about the Lamborghini's 70's production in one of his car magazines. If he recalls, only about three hundred Lamborghini Jarama ever hit the market and their production stopped in 1976, and only ten of them or so had an automatic transmission.

"What happened to the SUV?" Alarmed, he detected a tone of jealously in his voice. He hoped that Itachi hadn't noticed it.

"The SUV is not mine. It was borrowed, while this car was being re-engined."

"Re-engine? You mean remapping?"

"I thought of a simple remapping, but it appears that the old engine was reluctant in meeting the necessary modifications in order to reduce the carbon monoxide emissions. Something with the catalytic converter…? Nonetheless, I was advised to replace the engine instead, as it happens that this new one burns exceedingly lesser fuel."

Sasuke gasped. Was this guy an idiot?

"You _replaced _the original engine?"

"You sound like I just committed a crime."

Damn right he did! Who the fuck buys antique sports car of very limited edition only to fuck up the original engine? That considerably lowered the car's value on the market, not to mention that it destroyed its history all together. It's like buying a Picasso and deciding to repaint the faces!

Itachi, instead of realizing the gravity of the situation, just chuckled, apparently amused at Sasuke's shocking expression. "Well… I hope you can still forgive me."

Sasuke dry-swallowed, painfully. He wanted to complain about the mistake he just did with the car, but it's hard to reprimand someone who, first) doesn't seem to know much about cars as he knows how to spend money on them; second) looks strangely seductive when he chuckled. Doubtless Itachi, being a rising advocate, knew very well how to use his charm to shut people up when he didn't want to enroll in a discussion topic he didn't dominate. Truly, it wouldn't be surprising if Itachi trained his facial expressions in front of a mirror. Thus Sasuke felt himself unable to further commenting and recoiled in his seat, ashamed of his right side of the brain, for wrongly assessing an indecorous tone in his perceptions.

As the rest of the journey was spent in silence and contemplation, Sasuke's mind was gradually invaded by the thoughts of the week (or the month, or the thoughts that he had been having since he met Itachi at Naruto's party): who the hell was he? Besides one that destroys antique cars. What kind of character was this mysterious yet nozying man that pops out of nowhere, steals his girlfriend and still wants to be his best mate?

He still looked upset though, about that phone call. For a moment, Sasuke experienced an urge to ask him who it was, who could break through his hard guise and imprint those wrinkles in his forehead? Yet before Sasuke knew it, Itachi was parking the car in front of a row of buildings.

**::**

The restaurant didn't look like a restaurant. Probably the painting at the entrance, with the inscription "_Ceci n'est pas une pipe" _under a big brown pipe, was intended for the joke. Sasuke didn't know about art, but he knew about irony.

It was possible that the space of the restaurant once belonged to a former strip club, as the tables were organized around a small rounded platform at the center that somehow reminded him of a stripper's stage without the pole. The right corner on the opposite side of the restaurant was draped with silky red courting, and from the barely revealing gap Sasuke noticed that there was another room behind it. Most of the tables were already occupied, even though it was hard to distinguish dining figures from decorative statues with that level of lighting. Certainly they kept the light bulbs from the strip-club, or whatever that used to be. There was a sort of oil lamp on each table, which was very useful to read the menu.

"It's in French." Sasuke snorted, as his finger rammed through the suggested dishes. At least he was pretty sure that the _Ragoût de legumes avec escargots sauce et pieds de porc au vin rouge_ was French, and he bet that it was something with animals' parts that only Europeans ate.

He noticed that the prices weren't listed in the menu, but Sasuke had the feeling those dishes must be as cheap as the Third World debt.

"Not all." Itachi noted. "There is as well an Italian and a Swedish dish, but this Asian variety at the bottom might be more of your taste…"

His eyes followed Itachi's suggestion, recognizing some of the kanji in the names. None of them were Japanese, conveniently. They didn't even have a translated description under. Did all the people eating here speak five different languages fluently or did they bring a translator with them? Perhaps they were all there because they enjoyed the idea of eating in Babel's Tower.

"Chinese food?" He couldn't hide the hint of mockery in his tone of voice, causing Itachi to lift up an eyebrow.

"It's a Cantonese extinct local recipe," he corrected "not the standard food of Chinese restaurants."

"Something with cooked dogs, then? I'll pass."

Itachi chuckled. Damn his chuckles. They made his groin itch and the right side of his brain short-circuit.

"No."

"Animal guts?"

"Why don't you try it, if you're so inquisitive?"

He was doing it again: looking into his eyes with that mischievous impression, like he was trying to interpret what was on Sasuke's mind. It was strange, but whenever he was with Itachi he felt the need to obsessively control his own behavior (or perhaps, he was afraid that the man could see right through him and realize that he was nothing but a prosaic middle-classer that up until now was considering choosing a dish by means of 'eeny-meeny-miney-mo' – not counting the French dishes though, because he doesn't trust people who think eating snails is sophisticated).

"Why don't you just tell me what it is?"

With a defeated sigh, Itachi decided to cooperate, yet his answer was as enigmatic as the menu itself: "I assure you it is not an animal of doubtful digestion, nor an animal part that you never considered before, nor an animal gut that you wouldn't wish to eat."

If Itachi someday decides to be a parent, he better not try home-school the poor kid.

"Why should I trust a Chinese?"

At the moment he made the comment, he had the urge to bite his tongue; but his rebel mouth was quicker than his mind. "No offense, but your people love to humiliate the Japanese for the most idiotic reasons."

Uncomfortably, he cleared his throat, and he purposely let his gaze drop back to the menu. He had noticed, however, that personalized smile of Itachi's had disappeared and his shoulders slumped a little. The back of his stomach curled up into a knot (he had hoped that Itachi would simply disregard his heedless comments…).

But oh, the _silence_. The silence that opened like an invisible cliff between them with a swaying bridge in the middle. Itachi's eyes were cold and imparted a vertiginous sensation that crept up Sasuke's spine, and he should've learned by now when to keep his mouth shut.

"Although I did spend most of my childhood in China, my Chinese heritage comes merely from my mother's side, such as I don't exactly consider the Chinese 'my people', as you put it." Itachi glared. He carefully put down the menu, and gathered his hands under his chin, narrowing his eyes before he continued. "Furthermore, China's animosity towards Japan is certainly not for 'idiotic reasons' as you might agree, if you are well aware of all the events and shameless consequences foreseen in the Sino-Japanese War. However I believe to see improvements in this bilateral relationship…"

Sasuke frowned; was Itachi giving him a _speech_? He didn't like the way the conversation was heading, yet that tone of his voice irked him.

"That's kind of hard when Chinese children grow up with _Little Soldier Zhang_ and communist school teachers keep blitzing kids' minds with anti-Japanese propaganda."

"Anti-Japanese _War_, should I correct." Itachi hissed. "Unlike Japan, China has not forgotten the war's atrocities."

His facial expression revealed blankness, but his voice was icy as the room's temperature, which seemed to have lowered five degrees or more, because he was feeling rather cold suddenly. Muffling a chill, Sasuke massaged his arms and reflected on a way to cease the uncomfortable feeling that landed in their table. He probably had touched a sensitive subject, and oddly, he couldn't bring himself to ignore-and-let-him-be-offended-for-all-I-care.

(He didn't want Itachi to hate him. He could hate Itachi, and the Uchihas and the fucking Chinese and communist dog-eaters, but he couldn't let Itachi hate him.)

And so, he surrendered.

"I'm sorry." He had never been one to apologize, but he didn't know what else to say to drop the subject. Seeing Itachi's unchanged expression, he thought in adding more to his redemption: "It's been a tough week. I'll eat the Cantonese dish."

Itachi's expression softened; he too seemed somewhat regretful of that pointless argument, thankfully. Worse than eating in Babel's Tower, is eating with one that thinks you're a xenophobic ignorant.

"I should be the one to apologize, this unfamiliar nationalist bias is not in my character." He smiled a little. "You don't have to eat anything you dislike. If you allow me, I can suggest one that might include your favorite ingredients-"

"No, I'll eat the Cantonese dish. I trust you."

What a stupid thing to say. His cheeks warmed the moment he realized how spoony he sounded. Itachi, on the other hand, looked quite amused, and his eyes recovered the distinctive blaze of his own, that added to his typical mysterious charm.

(It was rather difficult to not look at him, when he smirked like that.)

"Of course," Sasuke added, in a side attempt to regain his hostile integrity. "If I see a dog leg on my plate, you will need a plastic surgery when you wake up in the morning."

And if the night was being strange itself, it was even stranger when he saw Itachi laughing: a melodious, astonishingly beautiful laugh. Like when you pay to enter a museum to see something rare, except that Sasuke didn't pay for anything to see Itachi's teeth – he, however, felt that obnoxious tingling in his belly, and the odd feeling that he had just received a sole invitation to see more of Itachi's character. And he couldn't say no to that request, because the more Itachi dropped cues to his persona, the more he wanted to climb into the unknown world that Itachi lived in (like an unspoken seduction; he was attracted to everything that Itachi was, or could be, and he could no longer deny it to himself).

"Very well."

Itachi turned his body to the side, and raised his right hand in his own elegant manner, to call for a waiter. As his seeking gaze tried to catch the waiter's attention, Sasuke's eyes dropped, again, on his hands. The way the thumb's muscle tendons seized the bone structure strongly, and the shape of his long fingers that could grab your neck precisely and not let you go – somehow, Sasuke found himself wondering, how _it felt_…

(…being touched by those hands-)

And then there was the gay semblance of Sai, popping up in front of him, whispering through Itachi's lips:

"_Rectal administration."_

Itachi was looking straight at him, leaned on the table, and the only thing Sasuke could think of was his two long fingers with manicured nails sliding into his anal entrance, while all the blood in his system rushed like traffic-hour towards his groin.

"W-what?"

Stop, just _stop._ Orochimaru is in the bath, Orochimaru is naked in a bath full of fluids, vomit and urine, and leeches are glued to his wizened skin and a green liquid is coming out of his mouth.

"I was just commenting that all I know about you is reckoned information."

Really, the tricks of the subconscious…would explain a lot of weird visions from Religion's Prophets and faith believers in general.

"What do you mean?"

Why was his voice sounding strangely acute? He reached for the water bottle on the table, pouring some into his glass to alleviate the scratchy feeling of his throat.

Itachi didn't answer his question; instead he optioned to comeback with another question, somewhat out of the ordinary:

"What is your blood type?"

Under the table, he felt Itachi's leg brushing against his as the man adjusted his seating posture and crossed his legs, and impulsively Sasuke recoiled from the touch, as if Itachi's body was made of electrical discharges. He swallowed a bit of water.

"It is AB negative if you absolutely must know," Sasuke cleared his throat, forcing a grave tone on his vocalization.

He drank the rest of the glass.

(Why was the waiter taking so damn long with the drinks?)

"Ah, that is interesting. Cool, rational, sensitive, careful, efficient yet at the same critical and standoffish, enforcing your own conditions..." He paused, and served himself a glass of water. Sasuke's eyes meticulously followed long fingers gripping smoothly around the glass, as the transparent liquid choked against itself in organic sounds.

He took a gulp, and Sasuke watched his adam's apple coming along.

"Both shy and outgoing. Unpredictable in their ambivalence, they become your typical social outcast..." His lips were moistened. He didn't open his mouth much when he talked, Sasuke noticed. "Nonetheless these 'enigmas' are best to study art and law it appears… Do you think this description fits you, Sasuke?" Itachi asked with a smile. (-His lips were still moistened, pinkish, fleshy, moistened...)

Being caught in the middle of his secret affair with Itachi's image, Sasuke tried to recapitulate what had been said – AB blood group, horoscopy crap; he liked the way his name sounded through Itachi's lips –

Where the hell were the drinks?

"Don't tell me you believe in such bullshit. My blood group has nothing to do with my personality, and even less was it a reason behind my choice of studies." He leered.

"What would this reason be, if I may ask?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes; yet Itachi's facial expression didn't reveal much more than he already knew (nothing). On principle, Sasuke swerved people out of his existential radium that wanted to know too much about him for their own good, but he hadn't figure out if Itachi was just being politely curious or just ran out of things to say for the night. He hasted, therefore, to cease the topic:

"Nothing of importance; so you _do _believe in this whole esoteric crap?"

There was a flick of a smile, which was not exactly a smile, in Itachi's lip. His dark gaze diverted from Sasuke's eyes, to his mouth, than back to his eyes.

"Perhaps." He said. For a moment, he broke the connection to look for the waiter, and he turned his attention back to Sasuke.

"There has been research to show the link between personality and blood type genetics, at least as long as those interviewed are aware of the 'category' they belong to… Ultimately, horoscopes are but another case of self-fulfilling prophecies. Do you understand what this means? One behaves like the corresponding blood type 'should', not because the specific blood causes it, but simply because everyone including the person in question expects such behaviour. One's individuality, naught but result of prescribed social adjustment…?"

"Tss, tell me about those brainwashed assholes, that call themselves society and their glorious expectations-"

"Is that then the reason behind your application in Law...?" Itachi interrupted. His finger danced across the edge of the glass; his gaze lowered to Sasuke's mouth.

It was polite curiosity, after all.

"I don't know. What are your reasons?"

"Answering a question with a question…why do I sense that as I attempt to learn more from you, I end up being the one interrogated myself?"

There was a slightly irritating chipping sound, and Itachi's finger stopped dancing around the glass' edge.

"Don't you do the same as well?" Sasuke reasoned out. He wanted to say 'checkmate' too.

This was going to be difficult. Sasuke reserved more than polite curiosity towards Itachi; he had an unprecedented desire to know everything there is to know about this mysterious character that always crawled its way into his most sordid and lucid dreams, and he was hoping to achieve that without revealing much about himself. Unfortunately, Itachi too seemed to have adopted a similar social strategy.

This mentioned one chuckled. Damn his chuckles again. "I'm afraid my blood group is AB as well."

And there it was: the utterly conceited smile, the Uchiha signature mask _per se_. Sasuke sometimes had to remind himself that Itachi was, above all, an Uchiha – a capitalism-product leech that takes his eloquence for granted and does nothing for free or for compassion.

(Admittedly, he didn't forget the scholarship thing)

Which led Sasuke to thinking (not that he hadn't thought of it before): What did Itachi want from him? He sure looked suspiciously interested in him, even avoiding the conversation to fall back on him. Yet he gave these strange hints at the same time, about blood groups and…the way he looked like when he laughed… like he was impishly provoking Sasuke to keep him interested on Itachi.

The waiter showed up with the requests and a bottle of wine, interrupting his inner struggle of thoughts, and Sasuke was surprised with a combination of textures and colors in an attractive gastronomic display.

Itachi, who had ordered the same, had begun eating while the diffident Sarutobi still gazed at the plate. Eventually, Sasuke opted not to ask him if that grayish thing he was about to put into his mouth had indeed belonged to a proteinic living being. He served himself first, a large gulp of wine before he tried a bite of the strange Cantonese recipe.

It wasn't bad. He still didn't know what that was, but at least the seasoning was exquisite.

At that moment, the side of the central stage was covered with flashing lights and some people started to whistle.

"Is there a show about to happen or what…?"

"Yes." Itachi replied. He had a little bit of sauce in the corner of his lips, but he hastily cleaned it up with his napkin before Sasuke's mind started birthing new suggestive images. "Peggy Love is performing tonight. You might like this."

'_Peggy Love?'_ What a strange name. Hideous too, like a title of a transvestite's auto-biographical book.

He wondered if it was some stripper show, inwardly feeling disappointed at Itachi for revealing himself to be exactly what he never thought he was: a very, _very _heterosexual man. Not that he doubted Itachi's sexual predisposition (after all, he was still dating Sakura, something that Sasuke conveniently forgot sometimes) but then again Sasuke also was a straight guy and that didn't mean that he was into raunchy shows of voluptuous women undressing to a pathetic crowd of men, hysterically squandering their month salary like monkeys over something they couldn't touch. It was at moments like these that Sasuke doubted Darwin's Homo Sapiens evolution theory.

However when Peggy Love appeared, in a long silky red dress ornamented with spangles, and long satin gloves that crawled up almost to her shoulders, Sasuke sighed in relief for being mistaken. Peggy was a very tall black-skinned woman, too thin and old for erotic material. She wasn't really _that_ old (she was probably in her forties), but her languid face carried the signs of the hardships of an entire lifetime, not in form of wrinkles, but in the form of a firm expression - a somewhat serious and disillusioned facial expression that one never finds in young women, too full of hopes and dreams to achieve.

(-A face that, somehow, seemed slightly familiar to Sasuke. He knew he never saw her before, but there was this strange feeling of having encountered her in some place before, or in someone else…-)

And then, she started singing. With that typically grave and powerful voice that reminisced to the crumbs of African memoires in Jazz and Blues divas; her words intoned through the whole room like free notes that were intuitively anchored to a whole history that all the listeners shared together: like strangers in a David Lynch movie, only linked by the same bizarre script, and the script writer was her. Everybody halted their dinners to listen to her, caught in an honest marvel for a woman so thin, yet with vocal cords that held the strength of thirty romantic poets. It was truly impressive; she was singing about innocence and human depravity, in such a way that-

"I know this song." Sasuke realized. "It's from Sex Pistols…"

Itachi smiled, but didn't utter a word, as he kept listening to her performance.

She wasn't just singing about one song. It seemed that she picked here and there lyric fragments from the 70's punk band and mangled them into one shrieking assemblage. Oddly Sasuke, instead of hating that pretentious rape of the essence of punk, he felt helplessly subdued to that woman's voice.

Peggy Love, whose name sounded so ridiculously disassociated to the powerful, intimidating image that she transmitted, like a mythological warrior named after a hooker, continued singing a fantastic version of songs which Sasuke aforetime knew so well, when life was a box full of shit wrapped in moldy _kraft_paper and ribbons eaten by moths. But there was something about her that made the song sadder, happier, tragic; a song that originally wasn't more than a simple representation of the punk nihilism and the 'do not give a fuck' mentality, now seemed loaded with so much emotion that Sasuke was afraid of listening to it with rapt attention, or he himself would start crying like the group of women in the next table.

And the memoires flushed to surface. As he fought to lock them back into into the recesses of his mind, at the same time he remembered what those songs never meant to him, no more than the placebo effect of an uncontrolled rage about to collapse against the other kids of his age, or older preferably, back in Junior High. He remembered how the bloodied face of an older kid was, for brief seconds, as gratifying as seeing the bloodied face, defeated, humiliated, of his former adoptive father, to whom he, once upon a time, called Dad.

She finished, and everybody applauded enthusiastically. In his corner, Sasuke swallowed the dried knot that formed at the apex of his throat. For someone that never gave much credit to the female population, it was incredible how the mere voice of a stranger could, in a couple of minutes, dominate a complete masculine song and twist him up into an emotional wreck. Thank god Tenten wasn't there to watch.

"Did you like it?"

The melodic voice of Itachi caught him unguarded, but it was sufficient for Sasuke to remind himself that he was in a public space and that he couldn't afford to disclose weaknesses. Besides, the past belongs to the past, and it didn't matter now.

"Ah, yes. It was pretty good." (He blinked severely, trying to dry out his eyes. What nonsense-)

He studied Itachi's expression, as this one seemed to have found something fascinating on Sasuke's face, judging on the intensive way he was staring at him. He wasn't donning his usual cocky smirk; instead, he had this gentle twinkle in his eyes, as if the song had touched some part of him too. If it wasn't for all their insecurities and the space between them that they obstinately refused to cut out, Sasuke probably would have hugged him. As stupid as this sounds, there was something in Itachi that compelled Sasuke for this urge of an intimate caress, or a sensitive comprehension by a stranger who so annoyingly invaded his dreams – whatever it was, that woman successfully managed to cock up his manly virtues.

In the background, she began singing another song, a more light-hearted one this time and her voice had lowered down a bit. Recovered from the emotional turmoil of the previous song, the viewers resumed their dining activity and their murmuring chats.

He and Itachi remained silent for a while, leaving him to privately enjoy the exquisite taste of the Cantonese dish (though he would never admit that to Itachi, not before he knows what animal he had been eating). Itachi was the one to break the silent first:

"Quite frankly this was my first experience with something that, even if remotely, came from punk music."

"It's not the same."

"True. But I think I learned something about you, with the help of the lyrics."

He didn't know what he meant by that, but somehow Sasuke suddenly felt very exposed.

"Gentle, brave, pretty little Bambi was murdered…" Itachi hummed, as he drank a sip of wine. Sasuke tried to catch the thoughts running behind those long eyelashes, but Itachi seemed more focused on remembering the song lyrics. "-unable to exist in the reality of substitutes and lies. In a world of "no future-"

"_When there is no future__  
__How can there be sin"_

"You even remembered the lyrics, Itachi. I am impressed." Sasuke snorted sarcastically.

"Forgive me for listening" he smiled (he was smiling a lot) "yet sin is a concept directly linked with general social virtues. Therefore you have a world without perspective and denial of any moral values. Some may say it is what the philosophic concept of 'Nihilism' is about…. to question the truth and reality, the 'given essence' of things."

"And what exactly are you talking about?"

"Reality is something one self-creates. Just because the truth is unknown and the world is 'rotten', a simple global rejecting attitude cannot solve any kind of problems, even after they were defined. It is not constructive, thus born out of despair. And I have to wonder Sasuke, who killed Bambi?"

"What?"

"Who killed you? Why is it that you in fact nullify your future – by drinking yourself into oblivion or dumb-fucking around? Can't you even imagine a desirable future for yourself?"

Sasuke gasped. He didn't know if he should feel stupefied or offended, but what was worse was that Itachi seemed justly convinced that he was reading him like an open-book. As if some stupid random lyrics could summarize all the disillusions that his life was. It pissed him off, in earnest, that insistent curiosity of a guy that came practically out-of-nowhere, raised in a rich family, acting like he knew what he was talking about, as if Sasuke was just another example of some scientific study that proved that punk listeners were generally fucked up.

Itachi's eyes were black and emotionless again, and his impassive expression told him that he was really expecting a serious answer to that.

"What I do is none of your business." Sasuke hissed, narrowing his eyes in a threatening glare. He really wanted to punch him, but he promised Asuma that he'd control his violent urges in order to cease the paining psychiatrist sessions. "My life is not a fucking Oprah show. Don't expect to understand the whole shit that is to be parent-less in this jingoist country."

Immediately he regretted making such statement. The conversation was assuming a sudden dramatic tone, and worst of all, it was centered on _himself._

Itachi looked surprised, and his facial features hardened. He could see that his right hand tightened into a fist, as if something had him upset. Whatever, if he ever starts an 'I'm so sorry for you' speech', he'll beat the crap out of him, no matter what he promised to Asuma.

"I don't, but maybe I could if you were to teach me. If you could at least tell me there is still a future you dream of?"

For some reason his rage cooled down. Maybe it was the humility in Itachi's tone, maybe it was the fact that deeply (very deeply) he wanted nothing more than for Itachi to understand him.

(He realized though, that his vulnerability crisis tended to anchor in absurd wishes of affection.)

With a sigh, he lowered his defences, and found himself confessing the one thing that he never told anyone, not even Asuma:

"My future? I don't know, but I want to find my real parents."

Now looking back at it, he really regretted saying that.

"I see..."

Itachi lowered his eyes, but didn't add anything else. Yet Sasuke could see it, even though it was half-blanked by Itachi's phlegmatic charisma, he could still _see_ it: pity. Oh no, don't make that face. He hated that face. He had to deal with faces like that in the children's house and he hated them all. He hated that face on Asuma and Kurenai, when they took him in, and it took him a hell lot of trouble to erase that disgusting expression from their faces, by trying his best to make them hate him – better hate than pity him.

(He succeeded in making Kurenai hate him for a while, but unfortunately he never did it with Asuma.)

But he didn't want to make Itachi hate him, and since he didn't know what else to do to amputate that regretful piece of information and sew the previous conversation topic back to the normality, he politely excused himself from the table and headed for the men's room, hoping that when he came back, Itachi had his cocky smirk back on his face.

The bathroom facilities were located in a hidden space, behind the central platform. Near them was a gazed-glass door that led to the other room of the restaurant. Before he entered the bathroom he took a quick glance at the inside of the other room, rapidly concluding that that space was probably reserved to executive group dinners.

Needless to say, the bathroom didn't look like a bathroom; there was even a couch in the middle, between the lavatory and the wash-stands. Who the hell goes to a bathroom to sit on a sofa?

He admired his reflexion in the mirror, inwardly calling himself stupid for the twentieth time of the night, and opened the faucet to moisten the back of his hair and try to glue his rebel spikes into his skull. He shouldn't have removed the gel off his head. Stupid hair won't come down... Without success, he cursed the genes of his missing parents and closed the faucet.

Then he heard a grunt, coming from one of the cabins. Alarmed, he slipped himself into the nearest free cabin and closed the door, not exactly knowing why he was acting like that (hiding from a harmless stranger in a bathroom?). He wasn't given much time to think, for a toilet flush was heard and the owner of the grunt soon opened his door. Sasuke heard him walking towards the wash-stands, with a hand pressing against a suddenly pumping chest.

Why was he so scared? How pathetic-

The stranger's phone rang. Sasuke knew that ringtone. He _knew_ that ringtone.

"Hello?"

He _knew_ that voice. It was unmistakable; he was never going to forget that voice. That slickly, deviant, impish voice that belonged to the sole person who destroyed his childhood and haunted his nightmares for years.

"Don't call me just to remind me about your uselessness, Kabuto. I want that man to represent me, and you know I don't take rejection well."

It was _him_. His heart went off and his frenetic breathing became uncontrollable. Instinctively he drew his hand to cover his mouth, hoping to be unnoticed, as his blood-filled eyes almost plucked out of their orbs when he peeked through the hole of the lock. He could barely distinguish his face, but he immediately recognized the oiled long hair growing out of an ashy skull, and the cadaveric semblance of the devil's host.

Orochimaru hadn't changed, he could tell. If he had a knife with him, he would burst out of the cabin and stab him in every fucking organ of his body until all his guts were spread on the floor and the walls were painted in his blood.

"Then I'll sue the PM for harassment. Do they even have a witness list?"

He was moving back and forward while he continued his grunt on the phone, and Sasuke's scrutinizing eye tried to keep with his figure through the limits of the lock hole. Orochimaru's voice had lowered down, but his acute hearing could still distinguish some words and sentences detached, like "I'll silence any" and "testifying against me".

Of course Sasuke knew that there was always a chance of running into him since he was out of prison, as Kyoto was also Orochimaru's city, but he always thought he could deal with it in an unresponsive manner. Though he would definitely kill him, if he had the chance. But this unexpected reaction of his body, paralyzed in high doses of rage and fear in a cubicle of a bathroom puzzled him indeed, because this was _pathetic._ Probably because Orochimaru looked exactly the same. The _same_ as he remembered, with the same psychotic idiom and the same sly accent – those miserable years in prison apparently did nothing to him. He probably even enjoyed it.

And since he was already hit by a really bad omen, his own phone started ringing too.

Instinctively he recoiled back and his left ribs crashed against the toiled, forcing a muffled groan of pain out of him. The bruises of the day he was attacked still hadn't healed completely, apparently. Reaching for his phone he hastily rejected the call (-that fucking blond moron, what could he possibly want?-), and then his lungs stilled.

Steps on the other side of the side of white door – Orochimaru was walking towards his cabin.

**::**

**::**


	8. Don't take hasty conclusions

In the previous chapter I warned that the amount of drama in this story would be equivalent of the lion population in current Africa. Since you didn't understand the analogy I thought that you were very ill-informed about the lion population in current Africa, so I decided to turn this whole chapter into an informative National Geographic compendium and hope that at least, by the end of the day, you understand a bit more of the lion population in current Africa.

Enjoy Nature.

Or what's left of it.

**::**

The lion, Africa's most famous carnivore. From the genus Panthera and a member of the family Felidae, some males exceed 550 lb in weight. Lions live for ten to fourteen years in the wild, but in captivity they can live longer than twenty years. Injuries sustained from continual fighting with rival males greatly reduce their longevity. Lions were once widely abundant across the continent, recent surveys show that lion populations have plunged from over 100,000 individuals to around 23,000 over the past century, and as few as 16,000 today. The reason for recent declines seems to lay on human behaviour. In the late 20th century, wildlife preserves were created to curtail safari hunting, but the African lion population continues to decline. An ever-expanding human population has led to competition between herders and lions for land and food. Lions living at the edge of the preserves sometimes stray from protected areas in search of easy prey, but ranchers will often kill them to protect their livestock and source of livelihood. Lions are poisoned, shot, and speared by locals who see them as a threat to livestock. With each lion killing livestock worth on average £200 a year, equivalent to one cow or three sheep, bullets and poison are always cheaper than good husbandry. Kenya, for instance, has lost an average of 100 lions in each of the last 7 years and its lion population could disappear altogether in the next 20 years. The lion population fell to about 2,000 animals, from 2,749 in 2002. The Kenya Wildlife Service explains this dwindling with climate change, habitat destruction, disease and conflict with people, the service said.

While lion populations in protected areas remain relatively healthy, conservationists say that without urgent measures, lions may disappear completely from unprotected areas-

-There were few things in which Orochimaru believed, and few others he wished to believe. But predestination has never been one of them. Of course he wrote about it in his book in a side-chapter to explain how one's self-trained conscience can subvert into different degrees of power, in which one of them can be used to manipulate other people's destiny into his own – predestination – but that was different. That was a matter of cunningness and prediction. Unpredicted predestination was for cartomancers, not for intellectuals of his caliber.

So what was this feeling? The sensation of knowing that something he lost was suddenly so close to him, and it caused him this light anxiety that he was barely familiar with… There was someone behind that door, someone trying to be quiet and soundless as he made his presence drag in the bathroom. Like their meeting was predestined.

Sometimes he remembered him. There had been many disciples he welcomed in his training farms, but very few of them left him impressed. Oh, he had believed in that boy; he could almost see him as his heir, the one that would continue his legacy of years of experiment and research-

Until he betrayed him and escaped. What a disappointment; Orochimaru could almost describe that sensation of a father losing a son. Or like a precious stolen good. The offspring is nothing but the personal possession of a family; emotions are nothing but time's trends.

(He almost wished to see him again there. He knew he had grown into a very beautiful man.)

Ah, how silly. His fingers loosened his grip around the knob, letting his arm fall back. He was too old to search for the past. It didn't matter whose ghost was behind that door, because he was sure that his sweetest memories will be found again in the court room. Contrary to what other people thought, he was actually anxious for that day.

And as he exited the bathroom, he had the privilege to walk into his most recent problem that that incompetent Kabuto hadn't fixed yet.

"Ah, Uchiha Itachi. What a pleasure."

An exquisite product of human evolution, and he is not a bad appreciator when it comes to wonder boys. He had followed the enigmatic case of Takinawa, a judicial case officially represented by Uchiha Fugaku but indoors written by his son, as his faithful connects confided to him. Not to mention the famous case of the billionaire Yamamoto Jun, accused of raping his maid. Even with all the forensic evidences against him, Itachi's brilliant eloquence won the case.

Unfortunately, after that case that certainly brought fame to one of the youngest defense lawyers in the business, Itachi had been known to refuse numerous cases, rendering him to become possibly the most difficult negotiable lawyer today.

"I don't think we need an introduction-"

"I am well aware of who you are…should I say Suou Orochimaru?"

Oh he was really something else. Itachi was a man of many masks and one expression, because he knew it wiser to remain unreachable.

"I had many surnames, many faces, many identities. More than the police know." He chuckled.

Itachi's eyes looked curious, but he didn't let out an expression to betray him. Yet now Orochimaru knew where to seize him; if the amount of money couldn't buy the best lawyer in town, then curiosity will always allure the cat.

"I understand you are not available for negotiation right now."

He watched him frowning his brows, his beautiful mask of apathy refusing to give into a moment of compromising sociability. So much about him beyond his reach…

"I want you to know that you are the only one I wish to represent myself." And taking a few steps closer, he reached for his ear, as Itachi kept his stance firm. "And by the way… Sarutobi was my favorite surname."

Maybe with that piece of information unknown to the police, the young Uchiha will be more interested in coming after him.

**:: ::**

"_You really like that dog, don't you Sasuke?"_

_Yes, he liked the dog. He liked the dog because he wasn't a pure breed, like an animal shop toy. He liked the dog because the dog liked him._

_Orochimaru let him keep the dog. He was very cool. He liked him._

"_Have you named it yet?"_

_No, he didn't. It's stupid, why do dogs need names? It's not like they can call each other out by their names. They're dogs._

_(The dog was looking at him with those demanding eyes. He smiled. He really liked that dog.)_

_He liked Orochimaru too, but he didn't like when the old man whispered in his ear, because he smelled like dead worms and his saliva was a bit disgusting._

"_Tomorrow, I'll teach one of the most important survival lessons."_

_Survival. He always talked about survival. It sounded cool, but it was a tad boring too._

_Orochimaru whispered with his tongue out, which was a bit disgusting too. The dog was licking his hand._

"_I'll teach about the weakness of affection."_

That was probably Orochimaru's first mistake.

**::**

Sasuke woke up violently, with sweat dripping off his face. Gasping out of breath, he certified that those tedious blank walls were from his room along with those hideous green curtains that Asuma chose for his window. Relaxed, he let out a sigh of relief.

He didn't hear anyone leaving Asuma's bedroom, for that he assumed that this time his nightmare was soundless. Good. It was rather humiliating being so noisy during his most unpleasant dreams.

But to dream again of Orochimaru… he shouldn't be all that surprised after the gift he found in that fancy restaurant's bathroom, but his presence in his dreams had become suddenly more foreign. Remembering those times was almost like remembering some unfortunate vacations in some foreign country of unknown name that took place a very long time ago.

Maybe that shrink was right. There will come the day where he won't remember the pain.

Except that what happened yesterday night was completely unexpected. It took one glimpse through a narrowed hole to realize that prison hadn't changed him at all. He had hoped that at least Orochimaru had some rough treatment in prison, possibly been made the sumo fat moron's personal bitch and been shared with his tattooed pals during breaks. Knowing how narcissistic Orochimaru was, he wouldn't probably take too much time to break and commit suicide.

But he looked the same. A bit older, but the same. It was like he had taken some holidays in prison. He even wrote a book there, just like fucking Hitler.

Fortunately Orochimaru didn't discover him there in the bathroom, because he didn't want to face him. Well, he wanted to, but with a flame-thrower in his hands. Or a bottle of sulfuric acid. Or something that could cause an extremely painful death. Orochimaru left the bathroom but Sasuke remained crouched in that cubicle, not really knowing why. He stayed there thinking of how life was really a bunch of crap and that justice was a son of a bitch and that he was really a miserable coward and a pathetic excuse of a man. He also thought on how Orochimaru only served half the prison time he was sentenced. And then he thought again of how life was a son of a bitch.

Of thinking so much, he barely noticed time flowing and only roused when he heard a familiar voice calling him in the bathroom. Alarmed and ashamed, he immediately left the cabin and invented a clumsy excuse to Itachi, dropping the blames on his now ultra-sensitive stomach, and Itachi promptly said he would take him home.

They spent the journey back home in silent. Itachi didn't even try to question about Sasuke's "stomach incident"; he probably concluded it was something in the food. Which was good, because Sasuke didn't feel like inventing details to feed the excuse.

(-inwardly he couldn't stop feeling disappointed for Itachi's apparent lack of interest in his "well being" at least. But he knew he was being sentimentalist.)

The worst of all was when Orochimaru assaulted his day thoughts, and caught him unguarded during classes. Concentration was becoming a hard task. Remember about his responsibilities in school, even more.

"Sarutobi."

Neji came to him before the lunch break. He had the habit of calling people for their surname when he planned of accusing them of something. "You forgot that we have an assignment together?"

Sasuke only shrugged. He forgot a lot of things lately, and Neji's arrogant tone didn't help a serious response either.

"Tomorrow we have the afternoon free, since Watanabe will be on the Humanities colloquy. I assume you have done some research already?"

No, he hadn't, but he wasn't going to admit that. "Sure."

"Hn. Don't be late."

Sasuke even wanted to ask what would happen if he arrived late, if by any chance the house moved from place geographically, but he didn't bother. He turned his back and walked away toward the cafeteria, to join Naruto and Sai at the usual table. They suggested to go to lunch at a café nearby, to be different.

Sakura wasn't there.

Good.

**:: ::**

One might think that following someone is a considerably hard task, especially if you're trying not to announce your presence and scare the prey away, but it's not. It's fairly easy, actually. So easy that Sasuke didn't have to look for strategically placed pillars to conceal his obvious presence. Herpes Face had his earphones sunk inside his skull, and was too busy happily humming that shitty rap song that he had turned to the maximum volume so loud that everyone in the subway already knew how shitty his taste in music was.

It wasn't very convenient to skip afternoon's Yamato's lesson just to stalk this dunce, but this could also be his only chance of squaring accounts with him. He'll have to ask for someone else's notes afterwards. He happened to recognize Herpes Face across the street of that café that they went to by mere happenstance, quickly disappearing through the subway's entrance, and obviously he wouldn't be sitting there doing nothing. He hoped that Naruto didn't mind being left to pay for his lunch.

He took three trains before they arrived at their destiny, and followed the guy on foot for about twenty minutes. Wherever he was going, Sasuke soon realized it was out of his league; they were not only in uptown, it was one of Kyoto's wealthiest districts.

Weighing his options, he might as well attack him now before he enters one of those rich properties with Rottweilers, Dobermans and alligators shipped from Africa. Besides, that street was empty; no human soul happened to be walking in that area at that moment. Perfect opportunity; Sasuke smirked, immediately starting to device his revenge. He'll probably begin with breaking his fingers.

Funny though, he'd never imagine that that walking human abortion could somehow belong to a rich family. Maybe he-

Shit, too late. He just vanished in between the wall.

Frustrated, Sasuke ran to the spot where he lost him and was faced with the metal doors of the property gate, that didn't even have openings to let him peek into the inside. He looked sideways. The surrounding stone wall wasn't that big though, definitely not the toughest obstacle he had ever climbed.

He glanced back around the street. Still empty.

If someone caught him jumping off the wall and called the police, then the only prowess he would achieve would be making Kurenai furious. That woman didn't usually lose her temper for a reason. Public safety.

But it's not like he was ready to let go and forget what that fucker tried to do to him. That's just something you don't do without expecting some nasty consequences. Sasuke could describe three hundred ways of humiliating a guy, but none of them involved…it's just too disgusting to name it. Just to think he could get all sorts of STDs, like syphilis or gonorrhea or what's more that fuck face had in his blood system. He really didn't look like the healthiest human being on the planet.

Not to mention that Itachi saw it. What a disgrace. Fortunately he didn't make a comment during dinner, but Sasuke obviously didn't forget that little detail. Itachi saw him bare-assed about to be sodomized by a bunch of ugly faggots, STD transmitters.

Fuck it. The wall wasn't that big. If the owner was so concerned about burglars he would've built a taller wall.

And if Sasuke wasn't feeling so hasty he would've studied a better perspective of home invasion, for he had to land perfectly next to one woman talking to her cell on the other side. Talk about clumsiness; after years of co-habituation with Asuma and Kurenai he was getting rusty in matters of breaking the law.

She looked shocked, but not as shocked as he paled in comparison. Now he didn't know if he should just climb back or find a hole in the garden to hide. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

"Oh my, are you my brave shining knight?"

Definitely not the kind of reaction he was expecting from her. Yet, there was an old saying that said braveness and stupidity went hand in hand. It probably wasn't an old saying though, just common sense.

"What do you expect to find in these parts, young man?" She was smiling.

Well, at least she didn't scream.

She was probably in her thirties, wearing a very tight and revealing long dress, with her red hair tied around in a complicated head-dress. Her right hand was occupied with a glass of what was once a Martini, with the olive still inside. That could explain her unusual reaction before a potential burglar.

"My, my, you're quite a looker!" She put her cell phone in her purse and with a free hand she tried to reach his face, but he automatically took a step backwards. Her face was drawn in a semi-orgasmic expression which made the situation even odder. "Oh, you look exactly like the son I always dreamed to have…!"

Maybe she forgot her morning pills.

"Tell me, are you related to the Uchihas?"

Even though she wasn't sounding coherent at all and all of that just looked like the perfect scene for Morpheus to come out of a liquid glass wall behind the bushes and say this was the Matrix, she was still waiting for a serious answer from him.

"No." He said. If he was related to them he wouldn't need to climb walls, would he?

She giggled and tried to get closer to him, but almost tripped on a nonexistent obstacle in the grass. Quite the definition of drunk and happy.

"That's a shame. You look like you could be Mikoto's son."

In less than five minutes he found out he could be the son of two different women. And to think Neo took the red pill. What a dumbass.

"You know," she continued, at the same time trying to relearn the basics of walking still, "the Uchiha men are some of the most attractive men I've ever had the pleasure to-"

She didn't finish her sentence, because she had to trip again and fell forward, landing on his chest. He had to open his arms to grab her before they both fell on the grass. Her dress fell a bit, revealing a barely uncensored cleavage on her. If the situation was already awkward, now it became where Twilight Zone meets cheap erotica industry.

"You have strong arms… I like a man with strong arms." She said, as her hands travelled happily through his shoulders and his thorax muscles. He tried to help her stand up but she wasn't very willing to let him go.

Climbing that wall was already revealing to be a bad decision.

"I should go." He said, when he finally broke free from her drunk embrace, while she fixed her unreligious cleavage.

Yet before he tried to turn his back she grabbed his hand.

"But you didn't tell me what you're doing here!"

Uncertain, Sasuke eyed her while still doubting the very existence of her character. Though analyzing the situation overall, it really wasn't a bad opportunity. Quite the contrary in fact; he could take advantage of her lack of sobriety to sneak inside the house and search for Herpes Face. He followed him that far, it would be a pain to leave now and let it go. Not after what he did to him.

"I'm looking for someone that is inside that house." He said, pointed to the obvious residence in that property.

"Oh, than that's explained!" He didn't know what she meant by that, but at least she was remaining still on her feet. "You can be my guest. I'm hosting a party today, so you have to change those clothes for a proper outfit. My fiancée's should fit you-"

"You're the owner?" His eyes widened. "Wai- you're engaged?"

Wow, this woman was full of surprises. If there was one thing that she wasn't, it was sober.

She giggled again, waving her empty glass as she tried to balance herself on the ground. Raising one bended arm, he quickly understood the message and wrapped his own around hers. Then, she initiated the walk toward the house, while he was still the one who kept the balance and prevented her from falling again.

"I'm Terumi Mei. Haven't you heard about me?"

**::**

After being dressed up, with a silky Oscar de la Renta tuxedo suit, Mei led him through a series of hallways framed by countless paintings, all of them Western. If the house didn't look that big on the outside, the inside was a complete surprise. Mei explained to him that it was all the work of the skilled architect she hired, and that the illusion of making the house's façade apparently smaller and modest had been her request. Admirably, she was quite afraid of burglars.

"You're too handsome to be a burglar." She told him.

Yes, her logic didn't correspond to any documented rational process of the XXI century, but it didn't stop him feeling complimented. It's not that he hadn't heard that a thousand of times before, but lately he has been rather concerned with his looks. A detail that he won't ever admit to anybody, naturally.

They finally reached a fairly big room with a lot of…was that the party? Aside from him and Mei, the average age rate of the present ones should be about eighty years old, where the younger guests were perhaps sixty and the older one hundred and ten years old. There was a guy so old with a face so scrawny that it looked like he always walked side view, resembling an Egyptian comic cartoon.

Mei laughed at his dumfounded expression, and said:

"The rest of the guests are in the main hall." She pointed the direction. "You can go see if the person you're looking for is there. I'll get to you in a minute."

Sasuke didn't a waste a second to comply. Through the corner of his eye he saw an old lady walking towards him in turtle speed and a suggestive smile on her face that said 'I'm gonna squeeze your cheeks so hard when I get there'.

The main hall wasn't hard to find. That room was enormous. The last time he saw a room that huge was in the Hyuuga's mansion, and he still considered it to be a waste of square meters just to lodge your megalomaniac ego. There were a lot of people there, all dressed and arranged to impress the mirrors. It didn't look like a place where Herpes Face would be invited.

"Sasuke?"

That snapped him. Sakura was there, dressed in a seemingly-expensive gown that he never saw before, with her hair arranged in a ridiculous way that he also had never seen before.

"What are you doing here?"

She seemed a bit embarrassed. She kept interlacing her fingers with the bow of her gown.

Well, it didn't take him two seconds to figure out. His gaze roamed around the room anxiously, not sure if he wanted to find what he was looking for.

"Are you with Itachi?"

Her lips twitched, as he glared at her like a soldier glares at a target to shoot. He couldn't help it, her presence there was suddenly enough to anger him. What were Itachi's intentions anyway, taking him out to an oddly mate dinner just to later strut along with his stolen girlfriend? I mean, Itachi couldn't possibly be serious about her?

Could he? It's Sakura after all. There are girls out there better than Sakura. Like… well, there ought to be someone out there better than her!

Like…

'_Just stop thinking. Stop fucking assuming things.'_

Sasuke was straight. His imagination was just too limitless sometimes. And of course, Itachi wasn't gay. Nah. He was no faggot. Sai was the faggot one. Itachi wasn't like that.

_Sasuke_ wasn't like that.

Damn, when did he start feeling like this for Sakura? What a disgusting feeling, he himself felt rather ashamed of viewing her as some sort of _competition_. For god's sake that was ridiculous.

(Did she notice that? He hoped she didn't. Sure Sasuke was immensely curious about Itachi and, he already admitted to himself, he wanted to know more about him; but that didn't mean he wanted to get intimate with him. That's disgusting. Hey, he wasn't homophobic or anything, but it just wasn't his thing.)

(He was straight.)

"Sasuke, are you there?"

A pair of worried green eyes pulled him out of the turmoil that his mind was.

"What?"

"You're spacing out a lot, lately. Is everything okay?" She looked worried. "Is everything fine at home?"

There were some things he will never understand in Sakura. He had noticed that she kept worrying about him, even after she started dating Itachi and Sasuke literally ditched her off as a friend. Naruto told him she kept asking about his financial situation, if Asuma got a job, if he found another scholarship opportunity. She sometimes messaged him asking how he was doing and other stupid questions like that, even though he never bothered to reply to her. It shouldn't be like that, she was supposed to not care about him. If she cared, she wouldn't have dumped him and humiliated him like that.

Besides she was friends of Tenten. Anyone who was a friend of that psycho man-hater didn't deserve the slightest consideration from him. Except Naruto, maybe. But Naruto was a friend of any carbon-based life form.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

He almost forgot his purpose.

"I'm looking for someone."

He turned his head to gaze around the room, not only trying to spot Herpes Face, but also to see if he could catch the seller of deceits walking around in his one billion yen suit.

"What does he look like?" Sakura asked. For a moment he thought she was asking something else very idiotic.

"He has a face full of herpes."

"Herpes?"

"Or whatever that is."

"Well…" She pressed her finger on her cheek, a sign that she was thinking hard. Sasuke hated when she did that. It was like she was pressing a hidden button under her cheek to turn on her brain function. "I saw a guy with a weird face like that when I went to the kitchen for a glass of water. It looked like he had some sort of dis-"

"Where's the kitchen?"

"Uh, that way…"

Without waiting any longer, he followed her finger direction, skirting around the multiple standing figures in their questionable dresses. Sasuke never really understood why formal wear meant monochromatic suits for men and polychromatic dresses for women, unless to help a last stage myopic to distinguish the genders. Otherwise it only made women look like peacocks in exhibition.

The kitchen wasn't hard to find. Yet if he hadn't already been impressed by the size of that mansion, and the fact that Sakura was in the middle of that scenario dressed like an 70's Barbie, then the kitchen would at least make his jaw open an inch. It's not that it was huge, but the quantity of people that fit in that space and still managed to perform their tasks was impressive. It's like someone recruited a whole village just to serve the guests. It was pretty hard to move around there without almost bumping into a yelling chef or crashing against a boiling pot that seemed to randomly appear every five inches of space. Fortunately the servants were very professional at ignoring him, and nobody remembered to ask him if he was lost.

Unsurprisingly, even in a space with so many people concentrated, it didn't take long to spot Herpes Face. One would wonder what kind of idiot would hire a guy that screamed infectious diseases through every pore of his skin to handle your food, but then again, Mei did let a stranger like Sasuke barge into her private party without giving a second thought on what reasons he may have.

Herpes Face was stirring something boiling inside a huge pan, and too absorbed in his own task, he barely had time to react when Sasuke sneaked behind him and pulled him away by grabbing his shirt collar. He might have screamed, as he was forcefully being dragged to the room nearby where the cleaning products were stored, but nobody else seemed to pay attention to what was going on.

"You?"

Sasuke was quick in closing the door after he violently pushed the other against a set of brooms, buckets and dust-pans, causing all of them to fall on the floor soundly. Kenji groaned, gathering his arm around his ribs in pain with a grimace replacing his confused look. Raising his head, he eyed Sasuke with fearful eyes, while his worst nightmare in person was scrutinizing around the room, probably trying to find the most painful object to beat him up with.

"Look I'm sorry! I was drunk! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll do anything you want!"

Desperate, Kenji kneeled before him and threw himself to the floor in an exaggerated bow of submission.

"Please forgive me!" He begged. "I'll do anything you want!"

He had his forehead touching on the floor and his hands stretched before, certainly hoping that at least this humiliating act would soften Sasuke's intentions. How pathetic.

Impavid and merciless, Sasuke took a step forward, letting his foot treading on two fingers of his left hand. Kenji grimaced horribly in pain, yet submissively, he didn't try to remove his aching hand, in what seemed to be a naïve attempt of showing his utter obedience in exchange of much worse destiny.

Sasuke didn't remove his foot either. He stooped down, his shoe pressing harder on his fingers, as Kenji bit his lip to distract the pain away. There was a chipping sound. Probably a fingernail that broke.

"Mmmghfff!..." It looked like he was trying to bury his face on the floor, and his lip was already bleeding. Yet he still didn't try to fight against Sasuke's crushing foot on his finger, like he was hoping for some sort of forgiveness.

This definitely wasn't what Sasuke had in mind. Herpes face didn't look like the same guy that in his blurry memory was about to perform such a disgusting and hideous act; instead, with his teary eyes and pitiful face he looked like a victim. He hated people who looked like victims. It's difficult to punch them.

They remained for about two dragged minutes in that position, Herpes Face doing an impressive job of pain control. Sighing, Sasuke pulled his foot back, letting Kenji wrap the tortured finger against his chest, blowing gently to the swollen and purple flesh. There was blood over his fingernails.

"Why would you do that…?" Sasuke let his body fall against the wall, hating the feeling of pity for a disgusting creature like him, that now seemed to cripple his once beautiful will of revenge. Since he moved to Asuma and Kurenai's household he became a lot more sentimentalist and pathetic.

"I know it was stupid! It won't happen again! I'm sorry! I was drunk and angry for something that happened so many years ago, I'm so sorry! It was stupid!" He was sulking, fighting his tears in his eyes.

Sasuke gazed at him. He knew he was referring to something that happened in Junior High, but he didn't recall what he could have possibly done to him that made him so angry to the point of… well, he was sure he didn't try to rape him. So it's not like Herpes Face had any excuse for his actions.

The guy was still bowed to the ground.

"I really don't remember you." He admitted. Maybe if Herpes Face had worn a condom the last time he had sex (whatever his definition of sex was), then he could remember the face behind that rich community of pus.

"I heard you changed…" He mumbled. Lifting his body from the floor, he began crawling his way to Sasuke, surprising him by seizing his arms around his left like he didn't want to let go. "Please forgive me! I can't lose this job, because it's not mine, it's my brother's and we're poor and I have to get back to the kitchen-" somehow, he had forgotten about his swollen finger.

"Wha- let go of me!"

He tried to kick the clingy body away from him, but the guy was too persistent for his own good. That idiot was about to give Sasuke another reason to beat the crap out of him.

"Please forgive me! There's going to be a wedding and I still have a lot of things to do!"

"Fine, just get the hell off of me!"

With a final violent kick he managed to expel the attached body off his leg, even accidently hitting his jaw. Kenji didn't spare time in massaging is jaw, he immediately stood up, grinning like he had met redemption, and confidently blurted out his gratitude as he prepared to get out of that room.

"Hold on!" Sasuke grabbed him by his shirt collar when he tried to pass through him towards the door, and the other gulped. "You said there is going to be a wedding?"

"Yes. This is the engagement party. Some Uchiha is going to get married."

_What?_

"What Uchiha?"

"I don't know, they're all the same. I heard it caused a bit of a scandal because it was with a girl of no important family or something."

That didn't sound right. At all.

Was it the reason Sakura was there, then? She looked like she was hiding something when they met. Was Itachi going to marry her?

Wait, after everything that happened? Sasuke knew he wasn't dreaming now, there was something about Itachi. Something between them.

He didn't dream with that scene in the hotel room.

He didn't.

Infuriated, Sasuke left the kitchen in large steps, leaving a rather confused Kenji behind. He barked through the main room again, scrutinizing every corner in a frenzy, but without succeeding in finding the one he was looking for. He didn't spot Sakura either. He did spot Mei though, in the other side of the room, looking like she was searching for something lost.

He began to wonder if it wouldn't be the best for him to just get out of there. Before that crazy woman remembers she invited him. He would deal with Itachi another time.

Where was the exit? Everything looked the same. It seemed like the room filled up with more hundred guests meanwhile, and it was getting difficult to circulate with peacocks and penguins everywhere. He didn't even remember which doorway he came through, there seemed to be like six different exits in that room. It was easier to find the way to America in a XV century boat than find the way out of that labyrinth.

He was losing focus. Too many people there, looking at him like he was some lost puppy.

_Breathe_.

(Why did Sakura have to be there?)

"-it's time for Itachi to assume his share of responsibilities!"

The name of _him_ being called grabbed his focus again and he turned his head in time as a stranger's body bumped against him, making him almost trip. He quickly regained balance, but before he had the time to throw his menacingly glare he was baffled by the presence of not one, but two men with a very pissed off expression.

One of them was Uchiha Fugaku.

Sasuke had once dreamed of something like this, but not in that scenario. A situation where chances of fate would lead him to accidently meet the Uchiha Fugaku, and say to him something casually brilliant, and Fugaku would recognize his high intellect and they would have a little man-chat…and of course, Fugaku would be shocked to know that his own company rejected Sasuke's scholarship and he would offer himself to personally certify that he would get the proper refund, because he was sure that of all the young students he came across, Sasuke was truly special.

Hey, dreams don't hurt. And even though he publicly liked to badmouth the Uchihas as he liked his coffee black and sugarless, it's not that inwardly he stopped and admired the man of the Takinawa case.

This was his great chance to impress him. Or would be, if he wasn't pathetically looking so dumbstruck as if he'd just landed on another planet and found life.

"Who are you?" The other man that was accompanying Fugaku looked genuinely surprised for not recognizing him. He was pretty short, like ten inches shorter, hoisting his chest pompously like he had some sort of Alpha-male complex. His extremely pointy nose and hat and huge red tie jutting out of his one-bottom jacket gave him a funny cartoon semblance, since he looked like the only man in there that wasn't wearing a tuxedo.

"You're not on the guest list, are you? What's your name young boy?"

This wasn't good. How come he knew he wasn't from the guest list, there were like four hundred people in that party! Did they have a guest catalogue with everyone's faces or something?

"I…"

His own voice died in the space between them, and to crown it all he felt his cheeks getting hot. He noticed Fugaku looking a bit annoyed with the interruption, but the man kept himself silent. He barely looked at him. And Sasuke was incapable of even blurting out an intelligible word, with that robin redbreast flashing around his chest like he was trying to intimidate him.

"What's the matter, you can't speak?"

Fugaku sighed and turned his back, leaving the little conflict behind. The little man frowned his brows – or at least tried to, because there something with his oddly stretched skin that hindered him from making angry facial expressions. Sasuke once saw on the TV that people injected neurotoxin proteins from bacteria to make their faces wrinkleless, but this one obviously overused it. All that neurotoxin shit must've frozen his face in time.

"Are you one of Mei's striplings? For god's sake I already told that woman to leave her pets out of the house whenever we're hosting an important event!"

And with that he turned on his heels and walked away, mad like a madman, like the founder of Scientology would say.

Fugaku wasn't there in sight either.

Sasuke sighed heavily, feeling somewhat relieved for not having called the security and at the same time vexed with himself. He had that perfect chance to impress the man that could be responsible for his future – Uchiha Fugaku, of all of them! – and he just made a fool out of himself! He acted like a complete dork in front of that rare bird when he could've just made up any excuse. He could've said he was a friend of Sakura. Which was true, in a way. Maybe Fugaku would be delighted in meeting his probable future daughter-in-law's friend.

Which reminded him: Itachi.

That deceiving asshole.

When he finds him, he's going to straighten things out because Itachi can't just bark into people's lives like someone who has too much time and money in his hands and then just put him aside like it was nothing; like nothing was supposed to mean anything at all.

With all his emotions going World War II inside him, Sasuke went off in a deliberately chosen random direction, hoping to find either the way out of that animal circus or Itachi in the mid way. He was too mad to care about the rich old ladies that thwarted his way, and if by any chances he saw that stupid red penguin again he probably won't hesitate to punch him for ruining his ultimate chances of an Uchiha scholarship.

He was so mad. Where the fuck was the exit? Heck, he'll just jump out of a window. He just wanted to get out of there and forget that day ever existed.

Or not.

In the hallway, leaving out of a room, there was one Uchiha Itachi. Visibly dumbfounded; for the first time it looked like Itachi didn't know what to say, or how he should react.

"Sasuke?"

They both stilled, and time stopped for both of them. There was no one in the hallway, conveniently.

Sasuke smirked. For the first time, he felt like he in was in control. He felt like he could see through Itachi's mischievous mask, and now that his true self was revealed, he saw no more than a spoiled brat caught in his game. Kinda laughable, really.

"What are you doing here?"

Technically he was looking for a way out but since Itachi was there, he was thinking now in finding a way in. It was Itachi who offered in the first place.

He knew that wasn't a dream. He knew Itachi wasn't like that fake gentleman package that he showed to people; he _enjoyed_ doing these little sexual games. He just never considered the consequences of his actions. Like the true rich spoiled child that he was, messing with people's heads. Puzzling with his emotions, leading him to inwardly hope…

Oh he felt it again. The adrenaline pumping through his veins like he was about to do a crazy thing, like jumping off the building.

And he was going to do a crazy thing. Insane, in fact. It was too late for him to care, and it was Itachi who started it in the first place.

He was just there to finish it.

His smirk grew, the corner of his lips curling excitedly.

He walked towards Itachi in hasty steps and pushed him back to the same room he had just exited. It was dark, and Sasuke didn't bother to find the light switch, for he just pulled a very confused looking Itachi against the first wall he encountered, closing the door behind.

It's not like he knew what he was doing _exactly_, or even what he wanted to do _exactly_, but the excitement was too much. He was in control. He wasn't, but he was-

-and he couldn't give a damn if someone walked in right now.

"I accept your offer Uchiha Itachi." His smirk grew, though he could barely see Itachi's expression. "One-time chance huh? I take it now."

"…now?-" But he silenced him with harsh kiss, with all the strength in his body pushing his lips and his tongue against Itachi's semi-opened mouth, as he pressed his body against the stiffly surprised older body.

Of course now, dumbass. He was high on adrenaline and arousal like he never was, and it was time for Itachi to assume his responsibilities. Like his own father would say.

Itachi wasn't yet fully conscientious of what was happening when he was grabbed by his hair, disheveling his perfectly tied hair, to force his head back as Sasuke ravished his mouth and chin, leaving a trace of saliva through his jaw line-

-The coat of an infant lion has rosette patterns. The rosette patterns may remain on the abdomens and legs of some adult lions. Male African lions are larger than female African lions. Male African lions can grow to measure around 11 feet in length from head to tail and weigh up to 550 pounds with a shoulder height of 4 feet. About 100-119 days after mating with a male, a female lion gives birth to about 2 or 3 cubs. Young cubs are marked with light spots which gradually disappear as they grow. The cubs remain with their mother for at least two years. They begin hunting at 11 months. When male cubs are about one year old, they leave the pride and become 'rogue' males until they are older and stronger and able to fight and take over a pride, driving out the male or males they have defeated. Lions live for about 15 years in the wild, and about 24 years in captivity. Female lions are smaller and may weigh up to 400 pounds. One of the few animals that will attack lions are hyenas, which will kill an injured lion, or if food is scarce, will occasionally attack a healthy one. Lions and hyenas have also been known to kill each other in fights over prey…

**::**

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	9. 5 seconds

**A/N**: It's been awfully stressful months for me, so I apologize for the time it took. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, they're such a mood brightener. Sorry for not being able to reply to them :( Will do this time :)

* * *

**Warning**: No Lions in this chapter, but there is a paragraph about the cock. I war you, for the Paragraph About the Cock.

**::**

**::**

Sasuke always found it hard to fully comprehend the principles of attraction. There is the physical attraction, generally short-termed, which is evidently subjected to the beauty culture of your society, but then there is another variable that is just impossible to rationalize: the long-term attraction.

Some people call it love.

Sasuke knows that romantic love is nothing but an invention, horribly overrated by those XIX century romantic artists that couldn't bone a hot girl without reciting Shakespeare first and eventually contaminated like a virus every Hollywood movie that has a man and a woman as the main leads. It's perpetuated nonsense, yet this nonsense about love sprang up from very real symptoms: the unbridled physical attraction you feel for just one person.

Particularly if the person of your desires contradicts your already established sexual orientation.

It might have something to do with the van der Waals force that you learn in high school Physics. (or was it Chemistry?)

(he wasn't even sure if he learned that in school)

After all, they were nothing but carbon-based bodies.

The van der Waals force explains that attraction between carbon molecules occurs when there is static electricity. Or something like that. And as Sasuke was testing the reaching limit of his tongue inside Itachi's throat, he thought 'Wow - They must be overcharged with static electricity'. That's why his hands slid naturally over Itachi's hard chest and tried frenetically to open his shirt buttons. That was all those shitty made-in-China fabrics that come already with static electricity from those third world factories.

"Aah…"

Itachi's moans were delicious. He was probably moaning too, but he only heard Itachi's sounds. And the smell from his body…

But then Itachi pushed him from his mouth invasion, and for a moment Sasuke's static electricity stagnated. He still delighted himself in the visual pleasure of gazing at Itachi, mentally registering the image of those lips all swollen and slightly reddened, and eyes half-hazy. So damn sexy that he could attract Mr. van der Waals himself.

"This is inappropriate." Itachi stated, forcing out a serious expression.

It didn't look like he believed in his own words, because he didn't make any attempt at getting out of his ready-to-fuck position. He kept his hands over Sasuke's chest, and by the time Sasuke realized it, he caught Itachi's eyes travelling Sasuke's body further in the south direction as his Adam's apple vibrated.

Itachi certainly noted his erection, with that thin suit fabric. But horny as Sasuke was, not even the hardest jeans in the world could conceal that. And it hurt like hell. It was like he had taken a chastity vow since 1999 and now was ready to explode. He didn't even remember the last time he felt like a sperm reservoir capable of fertilizing an entire city, and they had barely started.

(….Barely started?)

Itachi remained still. He was gasping for breath. They were both gasping for breath. The air suddenly became thicker, and their chests inspired feverously, as if struggling for the remaining oxygen in the room. What if he rejected him?

It wasn't something that Sasuke had fully, consciously realized but… _could_ Itachi reject him?

Tsk, as if. In Sasuke's head, Itachi was always receptive and secretly vulnerable, and it was that vulnerability that he saw just a few minutes ago, and that he was seeing now, that he wanted to attack like a horny alpha male lion attacks a seductive and dirty female lion vaunting before the National Geographic's cameraman.

He didn't predict the reality of a rejection, nor did he plan on how to react if Itachi was just provoking him and didn't want anything from him. Well, it's not like he planned that moment either, but since he was impelled by the ulterior forces of the static electricity of his made-in-China clothes, the little reasoning that his brain allowed him for now was the 'How to Take Itachi's Clothes Off In The Quickest Way Possible'. There was no room for "what if's", neither there was time to think of a different outcome that didn't involve a naked Itachi in thirty seconds. His body was on fire, his hormone levels were just as uncontrolled as the stock market before the Wall Street crash and that static speculation that installed between them wasn't going to fix his problem.

That' why, unable to control his own body anymore, he kissed him again. But this time, he forced himself to go more smoothly. Maybe there was some control left. He didn't want a rejection –no, he was not going to be rejected. He was not…

Now he was starting to feel nervous. The fantasy was vanishing, and the air was getting colder, as he slowly realized that he might have gone too far.

Itachi still didn't move.

He wasn't responding either.

Sasuke was pushing his luck. That wasn't a game. And now that he finally let himself climb down to Earth, he began to realize that he might as well have imagined all the homoerotic clues that Itachi sent him.

But it was just when his hands started shaking, and the one-sided kiss began fading away, that Itachi reacted, and he reacted harshly. He grabbed Sasuke and pushed him back against the wall in a rather rough manner, inverting their positions. Facial features hardened in a rigid expression, black eyes vibrating in fury like he wanted to kill him; Itachi's hand detached from his shoulder and crawled to the younger's neck, in a menacing and seductive fashion at the same time. The only light slipping inside from the room's window framed Itachi's portrait dauntingly, with his untied long hair running down his semblance, giving him almost a religious aura.

Not even those furious eyes could nullify all the pleasure Sasuke was getting at that picture. Itachi had this tint of dangerousness attached to him, and eyes so penetrating that silently dared Sasuke to break the rules of mankind and indulge in the dimness of his world. With one hand pushing against Sasuke's chest and the other around his neck, Sasuke couldn't help to feel extremely excited at the idea of receiving his divine punishment with a pixelated censorship.

And then, Itachi's hand left the grip around his neck, and grappled Sasuke's chin, pressing his thumb and his fingers on his cheekbones, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side and he forced Sasuke's mouth to open. Aroused, Sasuke let out a soft groan before Itachi finally kissed him, hard, smashing lips against lips, forcing his tongue inside and encircling Sasuke's in a fest for dominance. Sasuke's body reacted by impulse, jerking his hips as the arousal became overwhelming, his chest fighting against the pressure of Itachi's hand. In response, Itachi let the hand slide down, and he seized his groin, encircling his fingers around the bulb of Sasuke's pants.

The van der Waals forces exploded.

Sasuke had never experienced such sensation. His body jolted, his hands grabbed Itachi's shirt trying to find an equilibrium point. It was just something else, being touched and kissed that way by that masculine force. Itachi tasted of nuts and sweet wine, and Sasuke decided that that might as well be his favorite flavor if one day someone ever asked him a stupid question like that.

And there was something eerily intimate in the way their tongues enlaced between them, finding their own rhythm. He had never before remembered giving a meaning to a kiss, much less investing so much time in it. At the same time, that powerful hand seized roughly his clothed erection, and Sasuke was suddenly finding the simple task of breathing extremely difficult, intervaling the kiss with rough gasps of air.

His own hands crawled through Itachi's shirt, despaired to undo the buttons of his shirt, hurried to feel the skin beneath as if he was competing with Time itself. Two buttons leapt with the violence of the demand, falling on the floor. Rapidly Sasuke's frenzied hands reached Itachi's bow-tie, which much to his disappointment, it wasn't one of those detachable ones. He tried to undo the knot, but horny and clumsy as he was, like a Terrier in heat, he only ended up choking his partner.

Itachi jolted back, disuniting himself from Sasuke's mouth and Sasuke's body, and the boy suddenly felt emptied. The man quickly undid the knot and threw the bow-tie and the shirt away, in his elegant fashion, exposing his ever desirable naked torso and those breathtaking muscles. Maybe, for a tiny little fraction of second, Sasuke might have wondered what would lead a man like that to take an interest in a guy like him. But it was only a brief, vanishing thought, quickly erased by his unbendable ego, for Sasuke would never allow himself any considerations of inferiority. He must remind himself that Itachi should be the one pleased that Sasuke was indulging into his desires. Yeah.

Itachi had decided to undo his own bow-tie, and his long sly fingers slid through the buttons of Sasuke's shirt, unbuttoning it fully with impressive skillfulness. His hands, smooth and warm, slipped inside the fabric, caressing his chest, and Sasuke sighed when two fingers touched his hard nipple.

"Lock the door."

Itachi's voice was low and authoritarian, and in any other situation it would be enough to irritate the alpha male in Sasuke. But it was as if he had been bewitched; almost automatically, Sasuke's body moved and he stretched his hand to find the round doorknob and the key beneath.

This should be the right moment for Sasuke to finally allow himself a moment of clarity. He could no longer put the blame on the innocent Chinese workmen and the static electricity, because half the clothes were already on the floor and the other half on its way out. But if there was any trace of rational activity left in his brain, well then. He decided to ignore it.

Itachi's body was perfectly outlined by the light of the back window, sprinkling his pale skin with golden reflexes. Sasuke's eyes drank that image in ecstasy, following the contours of the muscle curves, the navel, and stopping at the clad pelvis region. He wanted to touch him, but he couldn't. It was too… he had never touched a man. A minute ago he was feeling bold enough to take his clothes off, but now it was like he was invaded by a sudden shyness and…

He was a bit scared.

"Are you going to just stand there ogling?"

Sasuke grunted silently. He did not enjoy that arrogant tone in his voice at all. Who did Itachi think he was? He should be grateful that Sasuke was indulging his wishes, because Sasuke knew very well the number of girls that would like to be in Itachi's position. Well, not the exact number, but he noticed that they kept increasing like breeding rabbits ever since he broke up with Sakura (1). Or maybe they have always been the same girls. Sasuke wasn't always very good with faces.

And if Sasuke wasn't so aroused, maybe he would've opted for another reaction than advancing towards Itachi in predator mode, anxious to show who the dominating one was. He launched himself onto Itachi, but he lost balance and caused them both to trip and fall on the floor. Itachi let out a grunt of pain, which missed Sasuke's ears, as he discovered that he found that position the most suitable for him – on top. Grabbing his hair, he kissed him feverously, without caring much with the roughness because he had a feeling that Itachi wasn't that much different from him and that he liked it on the hard way. Instinctively, he rubbed his pelvis against Itachi's and happily he realized that he wasn't the only one with a giant erection inside…

_~The filming camera overheated and we have to take a small break while it cools down. Meanwhile we'll leave you with a scene between a middle aged man and a middle aged woman that no one cares about.~_

**:: ::**

He hadn't even thought about how he was going to tell Kurenai, but for now, he didn't want to think about it. Sighing, he eyed the café's message board, gazing through the advertisement and announcement papers hoping to find a nice job proposal in the middle. Cleaning ladies, assistants, home schooling, tutors… tutor wasn't a bad idea. He still had his high school books – very dusty, sure, with more memories than education, but they still fit.

"Asuma?"

It surprised him, and he abruptly turned around. If her melodic voice had already knocked on his memory's door, then her doll face definitely opened that door.

"Xi…xing-Juan?"

She giggled politely, in her special way of laughing like she didn't want to offend the world. She was the same. Well, aside from some small wrinkles, barely noticeable. And the hair, before a lustrous bluish black, now it was dyed in brown, that matched the color of her eye-shadow.

"It's been a while since the last time I heard that name…" She said, with a melancholic expression. She was playing with the gold string of her Channel purse. "Now my name is Mikoto."

"Mikoto?"

"Pretty, isn't it? I think it's pretty. It was I who chose it." She said, her eyes shining in pride, as if picking her own name was the only right she had been given to in her whole life.

"Yes… Well, your original name is pretty too." Asuma let out a relaxed laugh, but it sounded too relaxed and insensitive so he shut himself up before it looked like he was laughing at her.

Japanese name, clothes and purse from European designers, Western hairstyle… Her face was still the same. But everything else that built his memories of that lovely Chinese young girl once named Xing-Juan, with her qipaos and her wonderful tradition, had vanished. It was strange, and quite sad at the same time. It was like someone had killed a life and replaced it with an updated version of globalization.

"Do you want to sit?" She invited. "I still have about twenty minutes. It would be nice to catch up on the gossip."

She looked around, searching for an empty table. Asuma saw one across the room and ran to it, to pull the chair for her in his gentleman habit. She smiled and sat, courteously putting her purse in her lap, and nudged him to take his seat.

They spent the first minutes still, nervously avoiding eye contact, until the waiter came for the requests. Xing-Juan – I mean, Mikoto – asked for a light milkshake, but Asuma didn't order anything. He didn't come with intentions in spending the little money he had left, and those milkshakes were already expansive. He hoped Xing-Juan – Mikoto – didn't order anything else, because he didn't want to make her look bad when the waiter came with a bill bigger than his wallet.

"So, when did you arrive? I thought that you had moved for good to Shanghai." He asked, finally finding a topic of conversation. He was getting old in matters of socialization.

"Actually, we have been here in Japan for five years already, in Tokyo. Only last year we moved to Kyoto. I think I like this city more."

"We?"

Mikoto seemed to blush a little with that inquisition, as if she was embarrassed for admitting she had a family. Asuma didn't want to sound provocative; after all, he didn't expect less from her. She had always wanted to have a family.

So why was he sensing uncomfortable vibes coming from her?

"You remember Fugaku?"

Oh, that. Of course he remembered him. Of course she married that dunce. After all she never knew how to end a relationship and since youth times that Asuma knew she would eventually settle with the first one that gave her comfort, stability and some luxury if possible. She came from a poor family, she wanted to be a princess, the usual.

Now she was a princess with a Channel purse and a sad expression. You never ask if it was worth it.

"He's the head of a national lawyers firm, right?"

"Yes." Well, at least she looked proud of her husband's achievements. "The best in Japan. He started the business from scratch, and look how big and powerful it grew!..."

"Y-yes, impressive..."

"This is his homeland, he always wanted to return to Japan. He never really liked Shanghai anyway."

She looked disappointed.

"And you, do you miss China?"

Perhaps it was the question, but something touched inside that shell of consumerism and made her young again, bringing out the spirit of the old Xing-Juan that never cared for the Western fever and the art of materialism, as she cared for the her old country's culture. The apparent fragility was still there, reminding him of the lost girl that always needed someone to protect her, to listen to her, to care for her.

It has been decades, but Asuma still remembered how her innocent, fragile look always managed to grab every man's heart and bend their desires to her needs.

"Fugaku wants us to be a Japanese family." She shrugged. There was an absence of expressivity in her that bothered him, and urged him to get up from his seat and skirt the table to comfort her, hug her. But that feeling made him sick.

This wasn't the old days, when he was a delusional teenager in love with an unrequited woman that took his dedication for granted. It's not that he completely stopped caring for her, but he had priorities now. Xing-Juan was someone who knew how to swallow all of your available time just for the pleasure of being given attention. He knew she was like that because of Fugaku, who never really gave her the attention she desired, but Asuma can't be the friendly substitute for her attention needs. Especially now. The last thing he needed now was to be concerned with the unhappy ending of a woman that didn't mean more than a memory for him.

He should've just declined the twenty minutes time with her.

"Oh, look at the time! I really have to get going!" He let out a clumsy laugh, and raised his hand to call the waiter, but she jolted and pulled his arm down.

"Wait! It's been years since I have had time for myself! Please don't go now…"

Her face was frowning in a begging expression, and he gulped. Yes, maybe he was afraid of getting himself emotionally involved with her. After all, this was still Xing-Juan…

"Please tell me, how are you doing?" She asked, hastily as if she was afraid that he'd leave her before she could finish her sentences. "Do you have a wife? Do you have children?"

**:: ::**

Romance in real life had nothing to do with movies, where every romantic moment was dragged in a boringly slow motion. Not that Sasuke believed in that crap, nothing at all. He just thought it to be a good analogy.

Actually, there was nothing romantic about that scene, when Sasuke threw himself onto Itachi, causing them both to fall on the floor and Itachi knocked his head on the trash can, spreading its contents on the floor. Yes, nothing romantic at all.

He noticed Itachi's grimace, but he figure he shouldn't be that hurt or else he would have voiced his complains. Right? Not that it mattered, because Sasuke was uncontrolled, and even if Itachi had a contusion, he wasn't sure he would notice it. It was like he was previously injected by a good dose of Viagra or something. It was times like these that the "I was kidnapped by aliens and they did experiments on my body" excuse existed for, because after all, there are still people that believe in it. Ask Kirsan Ilyumzhinov (2), he even knows the details of how it works.

Maybe if he wasn't so aroused, and if Itachi wasn't actually deliciously replying to his actions, he would certainly be bothered by the presence of a used tampon and a banana peel near them, or that crumpled paper issue with an amorphous greenish stuff inside; but with all that lust burning inside and an erection the size of Mount Everest, Sasuke didn't have time to complain with the space conditions.

Therefore he walked his hands across the naked muscles of Itachi's torso, feeling in return the pleasure of Itachi's hands pressing against his skin, and his fingers rubbing his nipples. Several times he moaned, inwardly wondering how it was possible to feel so much pleasure from just simple touches. He felt Itachi's mouth traveling across his neck and his teeth scratching the skin, and he instinctively threw his head back.

He needed it, _now._ He couldn't hold it any more. He needed to feel himself inside him, impale him with all his might, fuck him until he lost his senses.

He started unfastening the other's belt, but the belt seemed to have a complicated system that didn't make the process easy. Quickly Itachi understood his lack of skill in unfastening Dolce&Gabbana belts, so he leaned in and took the belt off himself, with a very own elegant dexterity that only aroused even more the poor boy, who was already fighting to hold the seeds inside him.

Sasuke didn't waste any more time to remove the pants and underwear from Itachi's legs and-

Well. In all his past experiences, when Sasuke pulled down one's pants, it was usually a vagina that waited for him there. Not that he was waiting for a vagina, of course. He just didn't know what to do with a cock that wasn't his own. Touch it? Wouldn't that make him gay? He knew their position was already compromising, but then again, sex is also dealt as a socialization act in male prisons and monkey communities and that never made prisoners nor monkeys gay, right?

=The Paragraph About the Cock=

On a side-note, it was quite an enviable cock. It was big and well-formed, standing up all rigid and proud of its anatomic triumph. Like, of a pinkish pale, pearly juice leaking from the slit. It wasn't like those dark ones that contrasted highly against the body skin tone, or those very hairy ones that looked like they were born out of a pubic forest. Very few hairs, this one had. And then it that two, slightly salient, throbbing veins, that ran through the member like a pulsating river that embellished the pubic structure. And it had this very clean look, no wrinkles nor moles or weird birth marks. Sasuke saw quite a lot of weirdness in the male changing rooms… Not that Sasuke was some kind of cock expert, but one has to recognize a good job from Mother Nature.

=End of The Paragraph about the Cock=

"Sasuke?"

It took Itachi's puzzlement to snap him out of his wonderland. What the hell was he doing, staring at his cock?

Brusquely, Sasuke rose from his stance and positioned over Itachi, grabbing him by his upper arm and forcing him to turn around. No way in hell was he going to do something as gay as touching his cock, even if that cock-

You know what, never mind. If they're going to have sex, it will be Sasuke's way. Straight sex with a man. Yeah, that exists too.

So he unbuttoned his pants and lay over Itachi's body, sucking on the flesh of his back with unseen lust.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

Itachi's question unnerved him. He didn't quite catch if he was being sardonic or just honest at Sasuke's clumsiness, but either way, he didn't like it.

"Shut up." He grunted, barely managing to utter the words. Of course he knew what he was doing, he was trying to fuck to him. Did Itachi ever think it would be the other way around? Too bad, pretty boy. In sex business, and everything else in life, Sasuke was the alpha-male. Always.

And after he freed his aching member he wet his two fingers with his own leaking seed, and shoved them inside, while his other hand grabbed the buttocks and stretched the hole.

He could've sworn he felt the body underneath screech, but Itachi didn't let out a sound. Heck, even if Itachi protested Sasuke wasn't sure he could stop right there. Just the feeling of his fingers inside those tight walls, and looking at the way that half-naked body was down on the ground in such perfection made him shiver with just the pleasure of watching it. Inwardly he cursed Itachi for being just so goddamn attractive, and unable to control himself anymore, he removed his fingers and plugged himself into him.

Oh dear.

There weren't enough words in all the languages in the world to describe that feeling…

…Oh God.

'_I can't… I think I'm about to come.'_

He bit his lip, trying to hold the combustion of pleasures inside. He had one hand seizing Itachi's hair, keeping his head against the floor, but he felt too powerless to stop it from shaking. His whole body was shaking, and his breathing was uncontrolled, like he was about to explode from the inevitable climax. He tried to move a bit, feeling Itachi's ass seizing around his member divinely, and the orgasmic smell of Itachi's skin and sweat mixed with their combined smell of sex…

He couldn't hold it anymore. The pleasure was overwhelming. And he came hard, so hard that he thought for a moment he was going to pass out with the sheer force of the climax. If Itachi had a uterus, he would fertilize ten ovaries right there.

He collapsed over his body, suddenly feeling too fatigued to move. He wouldn't mind falling asleep there. Incredible, Sasuke had no memory of ever feeling like this-

The loud knocking on the door snapped him out of his nirvanic state, followed by a hoarse masculine voice from the other side:

"Itachi, are you in there?"

Sasuke recognized it immediately, it was unmistakable. That was Uchiha Fugaku.

"Itachi? Open the door!"

Shit.

**:: ::**

The waiter brought their orders, and Asuma noticed that there were many things in Xing-Juan- rather, Mikoto, that never changed even after all this time. She still loved strawberry milkshakes, and in a way, it made him feel nostalgic.

Back then, Asuma wasn't the only teenager bewitched by Xing-Juan's charm. He remembered how he used to compete with that African kid Oscar, in ways to get her attention, until he beat him when Oscar found her favorite sweet: the strawberry milkshake. Though their rivalry was really harmless, as nothing ever really happened between him and Xing-Juan – and in all his honestly, Asuma never really desired to pass beyond the friend zone. Though inwardly, Asuma always felt that Oscar and Xing-Juan had a lot more in common than he did: they both were lonely souls that fought to fit in a country that treated them as if they did not belong there. Oscar's skin tone and Xing-Juan's accent ended up betraying them when they tried to make friends, or even get a job to pay the expensive school fees. Things might have changed a bit over the years, but in the 80's, Japan's apparent receptiveness to outside cultures was just a façade to keep their growing economic empire; inside, its people's mentality was still stuck in Edo.

He wondered what happened to Oscar meanwhile. He stopped seeing him after he entered college. Was he still living in Japan? Did he manage to find himself a woman to love and share his life with, like Asuma did? He hoped so. He was a nice kid.

"Kurenai… she was of your age right? I remember she had a bit of an aggressive attitude."

"I would never have imagined you would remember her." He laughed. "She's the only woman of a family of men, so I guess she got that spirit from her father and brothers."

"Oh. So she never had a mother to teach her how to behave like a woman."

There was something in that comment that didn't sound right in Asuma's ears. He didn't know if she was being critical or if it was the old Xing-Juan just making an innocent clumsy comment in her own way. He decided to not give much importance to it. It wasn't her fault; Xing-Juan was raised by immigrant Chinese parents that wanted her to have a chance in Japan, and their primal concern was teaching her how to be a good future wife. She believed that women are all supposed to behave in a certain way. And now, being Fugaku's wife, son of a conservative Japanese family if Asuma remembered right, her view on the world shouldn't have changed much.

"So, last time I heard about you, you had went back to China." He said, trying to quickly change the subject. "What happened after all?

"It's a long story…" She sighed, gazing at the half-empty glass of her milkshake. She had this sad look again on her face. "But I want you to be spared the details. My uncle offered Fugaku a position in his company."

"Your uncle? You mean, the guy that your parents didn't like?"

"Yes. But things were difficult back then. Being my parents' wish, I married Fugaku, but we soon found out that Fugaku's parents were broke, and then suddenly all that wealth and the promise of a better life disappeared…."

She paused, to take another gulp of her milkshake. No wonder she married that snobbish kid. He must've looked like a prince to her parents, freshly graduated from Law school, even though he treated her like second-handed furniture. Of course that having his child had brought its share of consequences, predictable drama.

Asuma still remembered the shock he felt after knowing that Xing-Juan had a three year old being raised by her parents. Maybe it was not the kid itself that surprised him, but Xing-Juan's reaction when they arrived at her modest apartment, after she invited him over, and they found that her parents went to visit China and left her son waiting for her alone. She called them, furious, screaming sentences in Chinese while the kid remained impressively quiet, politely sat on her modest couch, staring into blankness with disturbing stoicism.

She didn't know, however, that Asuma understood some of what she yelled at the phone, especially the part when she exclaimed:

"_It's your job to take care of him, not mine!"_

He wasn't taking extra Chinese lessons for nothing. He had hoped to impress her one day. Ironically, it was he who ended up being impressed, and in the most unpleasant way.

But it was a minor incident, and he didn't visit her house again. He never saw the boy either. His expression, however, he never forgot – like an abandoned doll. Sasuke had a similar expression when he saw him the first time, yet later Asuma found out it was just the frail mask he used to put on to contain all his turbulent emotions, a frail mask that shattered every once in a while.

"Well, it doesn't matter, does it? What's important is that she loves you." She said, bringing Asuma back to reality. She was smiling, though he didn't quite remember what their last conversation topic was. "And do you have kids?"

"Well…" He wasn't very comfortable with telling her that Kurenai became sterile after losing their son. He didn't blame her, of course, it wasn't her fault. But he didn't want to give Xing-Juan more motives to judge the love of his life, so he decided to skip that detail. "We adopted a boy. He's very smart, but I fear that we can't hold him enough in college now that I don't have a job."

He didn't want to give too many details for her to judge, but he also didn't want to say that. He had no idea why he said that he lost his job, to her, of all the people. His mind was still very confused with everything happening at the same time.

"You lost your job? Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

She looked shocked. Asuma just wanted to bang his head on the table for letting out something so stupid.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to Fugaku. He's hiring some teachers for his educational programs. You took Law, right?"

"Actually, I took Sociology…" That was his official degree, though he never really worked in that area.

"I'm sure you have some skills we need." She concluded.

**:: ::**

Now that was very, very stupid.

Very stupid.

How could he do such a reckless, stupid, thing?

He didn't even want to imagine the expressions on Fugaku's and Sakura's faces after he opened the door and just ran away, flying through them without even sparing them a look.

He should've just waited until Itachi was fully dressed before he decided to open the door, but he just panicked. What a mess. What would they think after finding Itachi barely dressed with him, a guy, in a locked room?

And the smell of sex. Shit. No vaporizer in the world could disguise that smell in just a few seconds. Not that they could find a vaporizer in there.

He drank the rest of the drink in a row, and slammed it on the counter while his head fell again over his rested arm. "BBD!" He blurted.

He didn't want to face Itachi again. Heck, he didn't want to face the world again. What will Sakura say next time he saw her at school? Will she mock him? Will she just cry and be angry? Will she tell the world that the Sarutobi Sasuke had sex with another _man_?

Oh God…

"No more drinks for you today." The black-skinned barman took his glass away, earning a very angry glare in return from his client.

"What the hell? I only had two!"

"And you only have one liver." He said, casually, and he passed the cleaning cloth over the counter surface where Sasuke's glass was.

Sasuke sighed, and let his head fall on his crossed arms again. He was too tired to argue with BBD right now.

What did Itachi think of him now?

Now that he had more than time to cool his head and hormones down, the scenes that happened in that locked room revealed more and more clear in his mind. He realized he was rather rough with him.

Well, more than rough.

He wouldn't call it rape, no. If Itachi didn't want it, he would stop him.

Not that he gave him time to stop him anyway, Sasuke just parked his car before he checked the availability. This was so fucked up.

And he lasted like what, five seconds? Five fucking seconds. If that didn't make him already the worst lover in the world, at least it made him look like he never had any sexual experience before.

"What troubles your mind this time, kid?" Oscar asked.

Sasuke sighed heavily again, slowly lifting his head as if it was made of steel. He gazed at the barman with depressive eyes, making the other halt his glass cleaning activity.

"I'm not drunk enough to tell you about my life, BBD. Serve me another one if you will."

The older man chuckled, muttering to himself: "Stubborn as your mother…"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." He cleared his throat, resuming his early cleaning activity.

The bar was practically empty, as it was normally during week days, having only two more costumers aside from Sasuke, playing cards at a table in the back. One of them had put an oldies record in the jukebox.

"Hey, kid." Oscar put down the glass, throwing the cloth behind his back. He had leaned over his elbow on the counter, and eyed Sasuke with solemn countenance. "There is a proverb in my home country that goes like this:

_Every morning in Africa a gazelle awakens knowing it must today run faster than the fastest lion or it will be eaten. Every morning a lion awakens knowing it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It matters not whether you are a gazelle or a lion, when the sun rises you had better be running_._"_

"That must be longest proverb in the world."

BBD paid no heed to his comment, already used to Sasuke's mordacity.

"Whatever your problems are kiddo," he said "remember that you are not the only one. The only way to overcome them, is to learn from your mistakes and do better. Always do better!" He emphasized the last word, giving a dramatic tenor to the sentence. "Because you still have to keep living."

Sasuke leaned back in dilatory motion, not sure how to respond to such a passionate philosophy.

"….Right."

With contented smile, Oscar turned around and walked away, only to reappear ten seconds later. He handed him a CD, which Sasuke received hesitantly.

"I don't like hip hop." He stated, after having a look at the cover.

"So there's a black dude on the cover and you say it's hip-hop and that you don't like?"

He seemed a bit angry.

"It's not hip-hop?"

"Why don't you just listen to it first? It'll make you feel better about your problems."

Sasuke sighed. He should've known better that BBD had stereotype issues.

"Fine." He put the CD inside his jacket's inner pocket, and stepping out of his seat, he waved. "I'm going home. See ya."

"You're _welcome._" Oscar snorted, but his expression softened again as he watched the boy leaving the bar with a dejected face.

It was when he put on that sad face that he resembled her the most.

**::**

**::**

(1) Editor's note: It was Sakura who broke up with Sasuke. Sometimes, characters' egos tend to take control of the writing script.

(2) Oh just google it.


	10. This is Not a Songfic

People say the dog is a man's best friend, but for some reason men tend to create more long-lasting, faithful relationships with a glass of whisky than with a dog. A dog has a ridiculously low a life-span and it can be killed any time without warning, leave you in a moment without saying goodbye. But the glass of whisky is always there, wanting to embrace your problems any time you want, fill the empty hole in your soul (or in your liver) every day of the week.

Although Sasuke has a fairly nice relationship with his glass of whisky, he considers it to be more like a girlfriend, not exactly a friend. If you try to leave it, it will give you nothing but headaches. If you keep the relationship for too long, it can drive you insane. And even if the taste starts feeling more bitter and bitter after a while, and you start losing your ambitions and your will, and the days start feeling smaller and smaller and the nights too long to endure, you still won't know how to bring it to an end.

Until the girlfriend leaves you, and the barman stops serving you the glass of whisky.

**:: ::**

"Is everything okay?"

She had knocked, softly, before waiting silently for a response. It was odd. Sasuke never missed a day at school, and hardly got sick. Even if he got a cold, he would never stay in bed for so long. The boy didn't even get up for lunch.

Asuma didn't even seem to have noticed. Ever since he had been temporarily laid off from his job, he had been extremely distracted and even acting weird sometimes. And now Sasuke misses classes and won't come out of his bedroom. Kurenai just didn't know what was going on with the men in her family.

"Sasuke?" She knocked again. Without any answer, again, she slowly turned the hand knob and opened the door.

Sasuke was still inside his sheets, face buried in his pillow. He didn't even stir when she entered the room, although she noticed that he had opened the blinds of the window.

"This time I knocked." She said, taking a quick glance around the room. He also didn't bother to fold his clothes. This wasn't like him at all.

She put the food tray she had prepared on his desk, and walked to his bed. He had turned his face to look at her, and mumbled something unintelligible, but didn't try to get out of his dead-like position.

"Are you feeling well?" She bent over him and put her hand on his forehead, removing the locks of hair from his eyes. He didn't object at her attempts of nourishing. "You don't seem to have a fever."

"I'm just a bit tired today." He replied with a tired voice.

"Your friends called."

"My friends?"

It was strange for him to hear that word in the plural sense.

"Naruto…"

"Typical." He grumbled, burying his face in the pillow again.

"…And someone named Neji too."

Sasuke raised his head, surprised. Then he remembered. The group project.

"Shit. I was supposed to go to his house today."

"I said you were not feeling well and he understood."

"…Thanks." He said. He still found it odd how Neji got his house number. Through the corner of his eye he watched Kurenai walking towards the food tray she had put on his desk, to remove the tea sack from the cup of tea she had prepared and stirring slowly the hot soup with the spoon. Feeling suddenly like he was being too spoiled, he added: "I know it's my turn to wash the dishes-"

"Don't worry, Asuma already washed them." She interrupted, smiling a little. "Just take today to rest. I know college can be a lot of stress sometimes."

She was being awfully nice. It almost made him wish to get sick more often.

Not only that, she now decided to pick up all the clothes he tossed away, separate the laundry and fold the rest. Although he would never admit it, it felt really warm to see this caring side of Kurenai. Like a mother, of sorts. Yet he shouldn't get this comfortable with the idea of seeing Asuma and Kurenai like parents, because he will eventually find his real parents, and when that happens-

"What's this?" She asked, interrupting his rambling thoughts.

She wielded the expensive suit that crazy woman gave him yesterday to wear at the party. He had completely forgotten about it. He didn't even know if he was supposed to return it.

"That's borrowed. It's not mine."

"Borrowed." She frowned, suspicious. Of course she was suspicious. Why would a low-class guy like him need a designer's suit that probably cost more than both his two kidneys in the black market?

"I'm going to return it." He mumbled, trying to avoid her fierce eye contact. What else to say? That a millionaire drunk woman gave him the suit to attend her millionaire party after he assaulted her property? Like she would believe him.

"You better, because we don't have the money to pay for these kinds of things." She scolded, albeit it was really unnecessary. He didn't need to know their financial situation when the very own house he lived in didn't even have a dish washer machine. Though selling that suit could allow them to by a wash-machine and a decent microwave that could go beyond the 700w power.

Fortunately, she didn't ask any more questions. She only made him promise that he would eat the soup before she left the room, gently closing the door behind.

The smell of _miso_ soup invaded his nostrils and his stomach grunted noisily, reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything yet. With an effortful movement, he lazily dragged his heavy body out of the bed and went to get the bowl of _miso_, stirring slowly to cool if off. It smelled really good. He was glad that it was Kurenai who made lunch, because Asuma wasn't very skilled in the kitchen, although he bragged that he was.

The soup tasted as good as it smelled, but Sasuke took time for each mouthful, meanwhile his head was assaulted by the pangs of conscience that troubled his spirit ever since he woke up that day. It was brought to his recollection again the incident at that strange party and the bizarre sexual event he experienced with Itachi. Itachi's father, and Sakura, on the other side of the door; the memory of their shocked faces. He desperately wanted to filter his memories and erase the part where he had sex with Itachi forever out of his system. He couldn't believe he had done that. He couldn't believe he had run away, while Itachi was still dressing up, and let his father and Sakura to guess what happened.

What if Sakura told everyone?

Sasuke sighed depressively, and recoiled back on his chair, looking to the window. He always hated those curtains.

For some reason it wasn't really Sakura that worried him the most, that troubled his conscience and made him fear for something he didn't know. She might be a bit annoying sometimes, but she wasn't the revengeful type. She's probably just as confused as he was right now, wondering how she ended up dating two guys that had gay sex with each other. Or she was just crying because Sasuke betrayed her again, along with her new boyfriend, as ironic as the situation looked like now.

He wasn't also all that worried about Fugaku. It's not like he would help him with the scholarships. It could be troublesome if he still remembered Sasuke's face by the time he graduated and was looking for a job at a law firm, but Sasuke was confident that everything happened too fast for such thing to become a threat to his future.

Then what was that tightening feeling in his chest?

It wasn't the sex itself. After being harassed by so many embarrassing homoerotic dreams, Sasuke wasn't all that surprised that he couldn't feel any disgust in the pleasure he had felt. He probably should, but he didn't. But there was still something that haunted his conscience and blitzed his head like poison atrophying his nerves and making his chest twinge like something bad happened.

The more he thought on Itachi's face, after Sasuke…well, when Fugaku started banging on the door, and Sasuke panicked; he remember taking one glance at Itachi and he had this expression on him that just made him very uncomfortable. It troubled him, now that he was remembering it more and more vividly; it was almost painful.

Itachi looked _disappointed._ As if Sasuke had failed him. Or that he did something wrong. But everything that happened inside that room was wrong and even bizarre. He didn't know what went through his head to mindlessly jump over Itachi like he'd been invaded by a horny incubus. It was like he was out of control; he just ravished him without even a care for…

Damn.

Did he…hurt him in some way?

Sasuke knew he wasn't the nicest gentleman on Earth when it came to sex, considering that most of his sexual experiences didn't happen in times when he was sober. But he knew that if you are too rough, you might hurt your partner. And when it hurt, the mood went off. Besides, he wasn't one of those sadist or masochist freaks who got off by hurting the other.

So what the hell happened there? Things went on so quickly that he didn't even notice if he could be hurting Itachi. The position wasn't the most comfortable one; he himself bruised his elbow in the process. And even the…well, _penetration_part hurt a bit for him in the beginning, because he wasn't well lubricated although it went away immediately as he was way too horny to stop and the pleasure was indescribable. He wasn't sure though, if Itachi felt what he felt, because he didn't know what was like to be in that position.

Though he knew that it couldn't have been a pleasant experience for him. It's not like Sasuke didn't have anal sex before; he knew preparation and lubrication were important. And that it takes some time for the partner to adjust, and Sasuke just exploded in less than ten seconds.

Really, what a figure he made of himself. He acted like a virgin retard in his first time with a hooker. Yet somehow, his pathetic performance didn't bother him now as much as the memory of Itachi's expression before he opened the door and ran. He knew the reason why all his strength failed on him to get up to go school, where this irritating tightening in his chest came from, why he was feeling so unbearably anxious.

He was afraid of what Itachi might be thinking of him now.

It's ridiculous! Why should he even care about that cocky rich Uchiha? Who cares if he hurt him or not? Who cares if he looked disappointed – he was the one who started all this! With his stupid innuendos and his stupid charm and his stupid-

_I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need_

_hey hey_

_Well I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need_

Not again. Asuma was fixated on that song, and this was the second time he put the stereo loud. Grunting, he stood up and got out of the room marching in large steps towards the living room, where he found Asuma comfortably laid on the couch reading an encyclopedia.

_I had a job but the boss man let me go_

_He said_

_I'm sorry but I won't be needing your help no more_

_I said_

_Please mister boss man I need this job more than you know_

_But he gave me my last paycheck and he sent me on out the door_

He didn't even notice Sasuke's presence. He went to the stereo and turned down the volume, surprising Asuma, who had barely time to react when Sasuke uttered, in an accusatory tone:

"So you lost your job, after all."

The encyclopedia met the floor soundly. Asuma eyed him, a bit nervous.

"How did you know?"

"You're like an open book." Sasuke said. "An open _audio_book."

Asuma is one of the most obvious characters he had ever known. Aside from being a terrible liar, he had the annoying habit of connecting his spiritual, emotional and financial state with musical lyrics. Whenever he found a song that described his problems and feelings at a certain moment, he would listen to it non-stop for a week until everyone else in the house was sick and tired of the song.

What was the music Sasuke found Asuma dancing and singing to, with all his mighty and doubtful artistic talents in the living room, when he and Kurenai had a big fight and she left the house for a week? "I Will Survive". Of course. And when Kurenai came back, Asuma jumped to her feet like a submissive puppy and all the self-empowering meaning of the lyrics was thrown down the toilet.

And what is the music Asuma loves to hear when he's just, let's say, "Feeling Good"? That's right. At least it's the Nina Simone original, which isn't that bad. Sasuke had seen a Nina Simone CD in Itachi's car and he concluded that Itachi's taste wasn't bad.

"When were you planning to tell Kurenai?"

Asuma sighed, defeated. There was no point trying to deny anything with Sasuke. This boy was very observant – too much observant sometimes.

"Listen, I think I'm going to get another job pretty soon, and it will pay well." He said, with an apologetic smile. "I just need a confirmation first, before I tell her."

The boy frowned. He glanced at the open box from the CD Asuma was listening to, immediately recognizing it as the one BBD gave him yesterday. Sasuke didn't know what made BBD think he would be into that type of music.

"But let's not talk about it." Asuma said, letting out a clumsy laugh. "What happened to you today, kid? I think this is the first time you've missed classes. Is school stressing you out? I still think working and studying at the same time is not good…"

With a tired sigh, Sasuke let his body fall on the couch. "That's sweet, coming from someone who 'needs a dollar'."

"It's not that dramatic, Sasuke. It's just a temporary situation. Anyway," he got up and walked to the entrance, where his jacket was hung up. He removed some items from the pocket and came back to the couch, putting them on the table.

"When I was searching for a job I passed through a very shy attempt at what seemed to be an anti-AIDS campaign, and they were distributing these for free. You want them?"

Sasuke gazed at the table. Condoms. Yes, he and Asuma had a very unusual father-son relationship for the Japanese norm, probably because Asuma spent an outgoing college year in Sweden and they have the fiercest anti-AIDS campaigns there. It didn't take a lecture from Asuma to convince Sasuke to use precaution, just a handful of Google pictures depicting infected bodies.

It's unbelievable the disdain most guys he knew had and many girls disregarded condoms. Some morons in his class even laughed when he said he used condoms, called it 'lame'. Sasuke had also encountered a couple of girls that thought that AIDS only existed in America, and one dumb idiot that thought gonorrhea was a type of vegetable. Sasuke replied that her brain was the only vegetable there.

"I don't need them, thanks."

It's not that Sasuke had a drawer full of condoms, but he already knew that brand and the limited sizes they produced.

Wait a minute.

Condoms?

Shit. He completely forgot to put one on yesterday. That was so unlike him. He never once forgot about it, no matter how drunk he was.

Unbelievable. How could he have forgotten?

He supposed Itachi wasn't the type of guy who went screwing around collecting viruses from all over Kyoto, but he had the feeling that Itachi thought that Sasuke was_that_ type of guy. Minus the viruses collecting part. Or not. What if he thought Sasuke was a dangerous source of diseases due to his…well, reputation? What if that disappointed look that he saw on his face was because of that? He didn't know if Itachi was as paranoid as him regarding STDs, but he didn't want to screw this up even more.

He had to make at least one thing right.

**:: ::**

Visiting a STD clinic was already a constraining experience. But going to the Masao Clinic, the one nearest his home, was a _very_constraining experience, because it was generally empty. Sometimes Sasuke wondered if he was the only client there.

Most people would consider that the worst part of taking an STD test is the waiting part, because you need to wait two to five days to receive the results. But Sasuke still regarded the worst part as the part where you have to answer the personal questionnaire, where the doctor or the nurse (or whoever is academically qualified to ask embarrassing questions) will try to dig into your sexual history with the most awkward causality. It was especially embarrassing for him, due to his sexual repertoire. He had the feeling he didn't represent the norm in Japan. Or at least, he was sure he didn't represent the average client of STD clinics, because he could tell by the judgmental looks the questioner would give him that his answers weren't exactly normal.

"I see you already have a file here." The woman said, with an obvious forced smile. He knew what she meant with that remark. There are only two places in the world where the common educated Japanese civilian doesn't want to have a file: in the Police and in a STD clinic.

"I still have to ask you again about your history…"

The questions aren't entirely necessary, unless to give material to college senior thesis on another study on STDs spreading statists, sexual behaviors, contamination via drugs etc. Still, there were always one or two questions that Sasuke didn't know the exact answer.

"How many sexual partners did you have?"

"Twelve or thirteen…"

"You had thirteen different sexual partners?" She had a tone of bitterness in her voice and a very surprised look on her face, as if Sasuke had just confessed that he banged an entire neighborhood and their moms.

And there's the judgmental look again on her face.

"I don't know if they were all different."

Her eyes widened. Now he was feeling worse than scum. Being silently judged for freely practicing a basic human need was more than humiliating. It's not like his purpose in life is to achieve a high score in sexual matters. He betted that STDs wouldn't be currently on rise in Japan if STD clinics didn't make these personal questionnaires look like a moral test.

"Can you just type 10 and move to the next question?"

**::**

It hadn't passed five minutes after he had left the clinic before he bumped into Naruto, walking out of a convenience store with a suspicious plastic bag and a suspicious look on his face. Meeting him on the street didn't surprise him though. Naruto was one of those things in your life you just can't get rid of, like a grape stain on your favorite white shirt. He just simply pops up any time and everywhere. Today was the only day Sasuke missed classes, and as soon as he gets to the street, he meets the guy.

After being invaded with a torrent of "Why did you miss classes today?" questions and inventing good-but-not-good-enough for Naruto excuses, Sasuke tried to change the topic rapidly:

"Where's your shadow?"

"I don't know. Sai is acting kinda weird lately." Naruto said. "But now I think he's in his Spanish classes. He decided to take Spanish because he now thinks he might have Spanish blood."

"Spanish blood? Where did he get that?"

"He thinks his dad might be Spanish or Mexican or something."

Sai was another interesting character. It seems that his mother, who was raised and lived in America before she moved to Japan, was simply unable to close her legs during her college years and now, single and almost in her fifties, she still doesn't know who is the real father of her son. So now Sai's life journey is to discover the real penis that conceived him. It's a wonder how come he doesn't have any more siblings.

Regardless, if Sai paid more attention to his reflection on the mirror he would know that the probability of his father being some _macho latino_ was lower than the probability of Naruto becoming a President in Japan.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to the bag Naruto was carrying.

"Oh this…it's…well…" Naruto blushed madly. How interesting.

Sasuke pulled the bag from him, managing to retrieve one box from inside before Naruto recovered his bag.

"You're buying condoms?"

"Give me that!" Naruto pulled the box from Sasuke furiously and put it back in the sac. "It's just as a safety measure, okay? You're always talking about those diseases you can get from sex and… it's just a precaution!"

"You're having sex?"

Oh how he blushed. Naruto was really a prude when it came to sex.

"No!" He almost screamed. "It's just a precaution for the future, okay?"

Sasuke shrugged and didn't try to insist. He wasn't really interested in Naruto's sex life anyway, so he bid farewell and let Naruto go on his way. Yet he would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit curious in knowing what made his friend decide to suddenly buy a whole pack of condoms. Sex wasn't exactly a constant variable in the equation of Naruto's life.

**:: ::**

It has been a while since the last time Shisui saw Itachi that absorbed in a new case. It was becoming more and more difficult to contact him, even if it was just for a coffee together, as Itachi concealed himself for hours and hours in his office or in the library, or just disappeared to go somewhere for his research.

It was good that his cousin finally found a case that motivated him so much, because ever since the millionaire's rape case it looked like Itachi was losing his interest in the profession. Even Fugaku was becoming worried. However this new case, whatever it was, was also stealing all of his and Itachi's quality time together. Seeing him at the engagement party was an exception; since the last few days Itachi ignored Shisui's attempts at getting his mind off of work and it left him rather annoyed.

Plus it made Itachi grumpy. Shisui didn't understand very well his relationship with his job, but he knew that any lawyer who loved his profession would only naturally get excited when he had an important case at hand that could possibly launch his career even further; Itachi just got grumpy. It didn't stop him from sacrificing hours of sleep and leisure just to work non-stop on the case.

"At last, I finally catch you." Shisui commented, stepping into his office. "I passed by here yesterday but they said you were in the library, and then I went to the library but you weren't there anymore… why don't you answer my calls?"

His office was a mess. It didn't look like Itachi. Papers scattered over every in of surface, even on the floor; books left around opened, old newspapers in piles.

"My god, did you invite the Egyptian rebellions over to party or what? This place is a mess! Where is your secretary?"

"She called in sick." Itachi replied, without raising his head to look at him.

Shisui sniggered, imagining poor Megumi's face completely exhausted with all the work Itachi dumped on her, wondering if Itachi's pretty face was really worth all that trouble. He had heard it was very hard to work for him, and the last two trainees quit the job because Itachi drove them into a merciless mental breakdown. Even Itachi knew that he could be a bit too demanding sometimes, as he had already asked Fugaku more than once to stop sending him inexperienced trainees and hire a professional secretary for him. Unfortunately Fugaku refused his request, arguing it was more expensive and Itachi should learn to be more lenient with people that didn't have the same mental endurance as him. Itachi just didn't learn this yet.

"I wanted to ask you if you have my Oscar de la Renta tuxedo. Mei thinks she lent it to a friend of mine, but as usual she was too drunk to remember."

Itachi raised his head for a couple of seconds, furrowing his eyebrows together as if trying to remember something. Then he answered "No." and dipped again into the heap of books and papers he piled over his desk.

Crossing the modestly large office, trying to not step over scattered papers on the floor, Shisui approached Itachi at his desk, finding his head submerged in a thick report that should have more than 300 pages, trying to read the extra small printed letters. His glasses were almost touching the paper.

"You are only damaging your sight even more."

Itachi let out a heavy, annoyed sigh, and stretched himself along the chair, taking off his reading glasses to look at Shisui. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, and with a tired voice, he asked: "What do you want?"

"Geez, sorry for caring." Shisui snorted. Then he looked at the photo on the folded newspaper, laid over the pile of books. "So you already accepted the Orochimaru case?"

"I don't know yet." He replied. "I'm looking through the accusations first."

"He was already indicted?"

"Not formally." He paused. It looked like he was making an effort just to talk. "But it's just a matter of time now. The prosecution started preparing a case against him even before he was let out of jail."

Shisui took another look around. Well, for someone who didn't even know yet if he was taking over the case, it looked like he was already pretty ahead. It would certainly be very frustrating for Megumi if Itachi decided to refuse the case in the end. It wouldn't be the first time. Oh well, another one who'll be writing a resignation letter sooner or later.

"So, what's the deal with this guy, then?" He pulled up a chair, after freeing it from the books and piles of papers and sat on it, making an obvious point that he wasn't going to leave Itachi before spending some time with him. If Mohammed doesn't go to the mountain, the mountain goes to Mohammed.

Although in that case, neither of them were Mohammed nor the mountain.

Shisui never really understood that saying very well either, but lawyers loved to use it for every situation that requires self-dislocation.

Itachi sighed again, but this time he didn't try an excuse to dispatch Shisui and return to his working mode.

"Orochimaru is suspected to be linked to a criminal gang that recruits street children and orphans to work for them. Most of them just serve as drug mules, but some are also associated with what seems to be assassination jobs." He made a quick summary, yet with no intentions of developing it.

"Sounds like a difficult case. Do you think he's guilty?"

"I have no doubt that he is."

It was more complicated than he thought. Even with the millionaire's case, Itachi always thought he was innocent of the charges against him, even though the evidences were all against him. And in the end, Shisui never really understood if Itachi really meant what he said, because he never liked that client. It was a very odd case.

But this case with Orochimaru, and involving children in the bargain… if he's really guilty, it kind of makes one think about the moral issues that lawyers have to deal with every day. Thank god Shisui never went into that profession. He took Law too, but fortunately found a good modeling agency in time. He never wanted to be lawyer.

"If you have no doubts… are you really sure you want to try such a hard case? You're still very young. Can't you just leave it to your father?"

He immediately regretted asking that. He had a feeling that it was the very own Fugaku that was pressuring Itachi to take the case.

Itachi closed his eyes, and pressed his fingers on his temple, rubbing it slowly. He then replied, "I have a lot to think about first."

"Let's just go outside, eat something." Shisui said, understanding the right time to change subjects and try to make his cousin forget about the case for a moment. His suggestion was received with little willingness from Itachi, for which Shisui decided to add: "At least to the atrium! You can't spend all day locked up here! It's insane!"

Feeling too tired to argue against his cousin, Itachi complied, and he stood up, following Shisui as he exited his office.

During the way down to the indoor atrium, Shisui began talking about the role he won for a movie starring Kitagawa Keiko, carefully omitting the fact that it was all thanks to Mei. After all, there wasn't any other reason to marry a woman 15 years older than him with a not very modest reputation. His parents were a little shocked at the beginning, their only child marrying a woman with a past in the erotic film industry, and above all, a last name associated with a working class family.

But Mei was possibly Shisui's last chance to ever taste what he always aspired to: the movie star industry. Up until now he was only offered background roles, and the only main role he ever gained was for a low budget TV drama that was canceled after three episodes. He had gained a lot more money from his modeling job, but now being 25 he was afraid he was getting too old for the fashion industry that always strived for pubertal blood. Their marriage turned out to be win-win agreement for the two of them; Mei was an open door for the world of fame, and Shisui offered her the husband services she always hankered after: young, good-looking and of the Uchiha lineage.

"Let's talk about something else." Shisui said when they reached the atrium. He had asked a girl working there to get him and Itachi some coffee.

The atrium of the Uchiha building was something so exquisite that it was even listed on the tourists map as a must see place. A huge aquarium with two electric eels emerged at the center of the round atrium, with aluminum plates to collect the energy generated by the eels that helped to power the complex light system of the atrium and the majestic fountain walls that embellished the space, an idea bought by the Kamakura Aquarium in Tokyo. The other part of the energy was collected from the solar panels of the glassy arched roof of post-modern architecture. Some works of contemporary superstar artists decorating the place gave the observer an idea of the rich art collection that belonged to the corporation, and once a year the firm organized an art exhibition with free feed for students to see their collection.

"When are you planning on marrying?"

A noisy rush from convulsive journalists and flashing cameras was heard at the entrance, and instantly the guards ran to the door to control the journalists outside. A known Politician who had recently made headlines in the pink magazines because of his sexual scandal with his maid had entered the building.

"Marrying as a life-time prostitution contract?"

Shisui blushed furiously. He hated when Itachi made comments like that, like it was no big deal. "It's nothing like that with me and Mei! I…I am perfectly capable of loving her!" He exclaimed, and then he sighed, lowered his eyes. "One day."

"Hm."

"What about you and that cute girl –what's her name- Sakura, isn't it?"

"There is nothing going on." Itachi replied, completely indifferent to his question. The assistant was back with their coffees and he accepted his gratefully.

"Then why did you invite her to my engagement party?"

"I didn't. It was Fugaku who invited her."

"Oh."

This is what Shisui feared. He and Itachi had always been close since early adolescence, ever since their family returned from China, and Shisui liked to think they were like brothers. He knew the girl Itachi had his first time with, he remembered the first time he took him to a strip club and the days when they were both young teenagers with dreams of success and a family one day. They were as normal as they were supposed to be, until the day Shisui found in Itachi's dorm room a naked, _male_ colleague.

"_Yes Shisui. I like men."_

He was shocked at first. He didn't know if he was shocked to know that the Uchiha prodigy, son of the extremely conservative Fugaku, was into sodomy, or the fact that he never once realized that his best friend, his cousin, the person Shisui admired the most, also happened to be gay. Or bisexual. Or whatever Itachi was, because Shisui never tried to ask Itachi about his true sexuality. He was still hoping that his…'interest' in men was just a phase, or some sort of identity crisis and that someday Itachi would realize that he, like Shisui, should _want_to get married with a woman and have babies and be normal.

But it wasn't just the revelation that bothered Shisui. After that shocking scene, Shisui avoided contact with Itachi for days, weeks even, and whenever they met he would try to disguise his uneasiness around his cousin. In order to appease his discomfort, Itachi uttered the words Shisui will never forget.

"_Don't worry. I'm not attracted to you."_

It's just…not that simple. It was never that simple, and it was never about that. Those words sounded cold and harsh, and Shisui would rather find on his own a way to accept Itachi's sexuality than hearing that.

You see, girls are different. Guys need them to procreate. The bond between a man and a woman is different than the bond between two men: the first comes out of necessity, the second comes out of will. There is something unique about the platonic link you create with a person, it's a powerful and sacred bond. Irreplaceable. Shisui was sure that what they had was irreplaceable. Girls come and go, friends remain forever. Male bonding, it's like brotherhood, and it's stronger because it's not limited to procreation and human biological needs.

But when Itachi said he liked men, all these basic notions Shisui held as dogmas shattered. All of a sudden, Itachi was opening room for other _important_ male relationships and now Shisui feared that their male bond could be replaced just as easily. It just wasn't supposed to be that way.

What did Itachi mean by "he's not attracted to Shisui"? How could he like men and still say that? It's already frustrating to know that Itachi is open to the idea of marrying a guy but not Shisui. It means that one day, Itachi will find one guy that will be _more important_ than Shisui. Because Itachi is not attracted to him.

It wouldn't be like this if Itachi was straight.

That's why Shisui was relieved when he heard that Itachi was seeing a girl, he thought his gay phase was over. But he knew it wasn't. He knew someday Itachi will find a guy that can give him more than brotherhood, a guy that Itachi will share his everything with, a guy…

Suddenly, all those innocent childhood experiences he shared with Itachi came to his memory. He blushed, and tried to shove those images away. Itachi had probably forgotten about them. And he should too, it was just pre-pubescent kids' play, every person had their body discovering phase with their cousins or friends in childhood and it's no big deal. But for some reason, ever since Itachi said that,

"_I'm not attracted to you."_

he was having these recurring memories.

"I'm going back to work." Itachi sighed, pulling Shisui out of his troubling thoughts. He had finished his cup of coffee. Shisui's was already cold and he had barely touched it.

"Wait!"

He grabbed his arm, and he blushed again, feeling suddenly very needy. Itachi turned around with a frown, waiting for the upcoming request from his cousin.

"How about we go out this week? Or on the weekend?"

"I don't have time." He didn't even ponder his answer.

"Not even for a coffee? Or just-"

"Itachi!"

A startling yell coming from the entrance stole their attention and made them turn their heads. Shisui immediately recognized that figure: rude posture, smug look, no sense of style whatsoever. That cocky kid from that mechanics.

He remembered him very well, because he saw Itachi_flirting_ with him. It was… a bit disgusting.

More revolting than disgusting.

"What are you doing here?" Shisui glared. Then he noticed the folded suit, wrapped in plastic, hanging on his right arm. "Hey, that's…." He violently pulled the suit from him and opened it, recognizing it. "That's my tuxedo!"

Sasuke recoiled a bit. This was getting a bit more complicated than he had planned. He recalled that crazy woman who lent him the suit saying that it belonged to her fiancé. So… that means this guy was her fiancé? He looked a bit young to marry her.

"I…I was going to return it…" He said, although he wasn't sure if the guy had listened to him. He had ripped off the wrapping plastic and now was meticulously scrutinizing every area of fabric, trying spot any minor imperfections.

It didn't take too long to find what Sasuke didn't want him to find.

"It has a stain!" He almost screamed. His face was white. Almost as white as the semen stain in the suit.

What a pain. Sasuke thought the stain wasn't that noticeable. He'd only noticed it when he was searching for possible embarrassing evidences in the clothes, in case that super expensive suit that had been mercilessly tossed on the floor was caught beneath their sexual activity. And he found a small white present on one of the legs of the trousers. He didn't know which of them that belonged too, but it didn't matter anyway. He thought of putting it in the laundry, but then he remembered to check on the clothes tag for the wash care information first. No surprise, all symbols were crossed with an X.

There seemed to be a hidden rule in the fashion industry: if you have money to buy the clothes, then you should have money to wash them too. Dry cleaners were not exactly cheap for expensive fabrics, and they didn't make working class discounts. After three days of thinking of what he should do with the stain, he decided to just try to brush it off to make it less obvious and hope the drunken woman would be too drunk to notice it and to remember that she lent him a clean suit. Now, as he was watching this guy freaking out over a suit, Sasuke regretted not going to the mansion first to deliver it before going to the Uchiha building in search of Itachi.

"This suit cost three thousand Euros! That is three hundred and fifty thousand yen with taxes you filthy scumbag!" He screamed. Now he was turning red. A pulsing vein popped in his forehead.

These rich kids were insane. 350,000 yen for a goddamn suit? Does their money grow on the trees planted in their yards or what? The world was so unfair.

And what was his problem anyway, it was just fucking stain! If he had that much money to spend on a stupid suit then he should have the money to pay for dry cleaning.

"That is actually three hundred and forty one thousand yen, since the Euro dropped in value today again." Itachi pointed.

"Don't defend him!"

"I'm not-"

"You are going to pay for this!"

Stepping back, Sasuke raised his hands trying to keep his cool but didn't know what to say. That guy was overreacting. He was making a bigger deal out of an insignificant stain than a washing powder commercial with chocolate stains. He had already succeeded in calling everyone's attention, and Sasuke was getting more and more uncomfortable with the circus he was causing.

Returning that tuxedo turned out to be a very bad idea. He should have just given it to some hobo and he wouldn't have had to deal with this crap.

"Let us not be so dramatic." Itachi spoke, finally. He had put a hand on his hysterical friend's shoulder, as if trying to calm him down. "At least he returned your tuxedo, when he could have perfectly sold it downtown for fifty thousand yen."

Sasuke's jaw almost dropped. He _could_? There are people willing to pay that much for a used suit? That amount of money could help him a lot with his semester fees! Damn. Now he felt stupid.

"But-" Shisui tried to argue but Itachi interrupted him:

"And I'm sure that stain is washable."

The guy was still having doubts, but the vein in his forehead had disappeared. He glared back to Sasuke, still unwilling to let that issue go, and asked roughly: "What kind of stain is this?"

"It's, er…" Sasuke could feel his cheeks getting warmer. "Yogurt." He hoped the guy didn't have the brilliant idea of smelling it.

"Yogurt?"

Shisui analyzed the whitened spot again and brought the suit trousers to his nose.

Yep, he was going to smell it. Sasuke wanted to close his eyes. Shisui remained silent for a while, as he processed his thoughts on the odor, but fortunately, he didn't seem to have reached any significant conclusion.

"I… don't know." Then he looked at Itachi and, holding out the tuxedo trousers to him he asked: "Does this smell like yogurt to you?"

He almost shoved the garment into his cousin's nose, which made Itachi jump back in surprise. Politely, he pushed the tuxedo back to Shisui and replied with a smile:

"Shisui, why don't you take this to the Masaaki dry cleaner at the corner of the block, and forget about this issue for now? I can assure you their services are excellent."

"But-"

"You can put it on my account."

Shisui couldn't believe it. Itachi was letting this irresponsible moron get away with it? He could have stolen his Oscar de la Renta to use it for a trashy disco as far as he was concerned! Who knows? Though inwardly he didn't really doubt this kid's version of the story. He knew Mei very well, and her fond of pretty faces. And he somehow remembered seeing this guy at his engagement party, albeit he didn't know what the hell he was doing there.

It was Mei's fault. She should've never ever lent his clothes to anyone else, regardless if she was drunk. Even if it was Mei who ultimately paid for the tuxedo, it was still his.

And now _he_, Shisui, had to go by himself to the stupid dry cleaner, when he wasn't even the one who stained his Oscar de la Renta?

Itachi had this look on his face. He knew that look. It was a "please get the fuck off" polite look. He couldn't believe it. Why was he even protecting this low trash retard who obviously needed a napkin to eat yogurt?

"Fine." He grunted. He took a deep breath, and added. "I'll be back in a _minute_."

Itachi smiled. "Thank you."

'_You better thank me later for that.'_ Shisui snorted, and with a raised head and a firm grip around his Oscar de la Renta, he slowly walked away, leaving those two alone.

Once he observed that Shisui had walked more than fifteen feet away towards the exit doors, Itachi returned his attention to Sasuke, who wisely kept his mouth shut as Itachi dealt with the situation.

"What brings you here, then?"

"I…" Sasuke, who was still watching Shisui leaving the building, turned his head back to Itachi, somewhat disoriented after all the hysteria that guy made out of a stain. Remembering his initial purpose, he took a deep breath, and reached inside his jeans pocket to pull out the envelope and give it to Itachi.

"What's this?" He eyed him puzzled, and opened the envelope. As he retrieved the medical paper sheet inside, Sasuke proceeded:

"It's the results of my STDs test. I took it after we…" he paused, embarrassed "…after that party."

Itachi didn't reply.

"It's all negative."

"I can see that."

Sasuke sighed. It was really hard to put into words what he wanted to say. "I usually wear a condom. I don't know why I…we… well, I know that my behavior was a bit out of line."

"A bit?" He lifted an eyebrow, and folded the results paper back into the envelope. Sasuke couldn't tell if he was mocking him or if it was just his way of being mad at people.

"Yes, I know I shouldn't have ran- I mean, left like that."

He was feeling a tad annoyed, though he didn't know if he was annoyed with himself for not being able to express himself or annoyed with Itachi for not seeming to understand him without him needing to elaborate. Itachi kept gazing at him with a frowned eyebrow and now he had crossed his arms, like he was waiting for more explanations from Sasuke, and that was a very annoying posture.

"And I know I wasn't very considerate to your position-I mean- your feelings, when we were…"

Man, this was harder than he thought. He kept stumbling in his arguing and had no idea how to word his thoughts. It was too embarrassing talking about things like that with a man. And he wasn't used to apologizing. He was used to accepting apologies, but not asking for one.

He sighed again. He had to say it. He had to say it or else he would keep stumbling on his words and Itachi would keep looking at him with that annoying frown, and he just had to get over it. Just apologize for the rough fucking and get the hell out of there.

"Okay, it's not like I usually have sex with men!" He interjected.

That wasn't what he wanted to say. Did he say that too loud? He glanced around, but he didn't notice anyone paying attention to them.

"You call that sex?" Itachi questioned. Not a smirk or snigger. Just his annoying stoic face and his raised eyebrow.

'_Goddamn, stop asking such questions!'_ Sasuke huffed. He was feeling so frustrated with himself. He didn't know why, but whenever he was around this man his skills of argumentation just went down the toilet.

"I think I have more sexual experience than you do. Just not in the gay field."

Again, not what he wanted to say. Why was he feeling suddenly so defensive?

"Sasuke, I don't care how many partners you've had. In my personal experience," he said "your sexual performance that day, ___sucked__."_

How odd to hear Itachi using such a vulgar word. Yet, Sasuke felt extremely irritated with that comment. Did he really need to insult him like that? That cocky asshole. He now wanted to grab him by his tie and smash his head against that eels' tank at the center of the atrium. Itachi was lucky enough that they were at a law firm building and Sasuke could be harassed by a league of lawyers if he did such thing to the precious son of the owner of that place, in front of everyone.

"You complain a lot for someone who has been rubbing against me since we met. I gave you what you asked for." Sasuke snorted, setting his teeth.

"I don't remember asking to be penetrated for two seconds."

Sasuke felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. How could he say those things so casually? Didn't he feel embarrassed at all with what happened between them?

"It wasn't that bad." He grunted, swerving his eyes from Itachi's gaze, feeling even more vexed with himself.

"No. It was terrible."

So cold. His eyes were cold.

"You were the receiver." Sasuke said, in an attempt to justify what he didn't know how to justify. He still was unable to word his reasons without making the conversation sound awkward, but it sounded pretty plausible for him that, since Itachi wasn't the one on top, he shouldn't be receiving that much pleasure.

"You seem to think that because I was the bottom I shouldn't be receiving as much pleasure as you obviously did."

Did he read his mind or something? Fuck it, he was tired of those insinuations. What happened, happened, and if Itachi wasn't happy with the way things turned out then he shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. He had plenty of chances to stop it or make him realize he wasn't enjoying it. Sasuke would've gotten the message and stopped right away, he wasn't a douche. It wouldn't be the first time. He had been with two or three girls that said it was hurting and he stopped. Did Itachi think he enjoyed having sex with someone who hated it?

Fuck him, he wasn't there to be insulted. It hadn't been all that terrible, otherwise he would've said something when Sasuke entered him. He was quiet all the time. How should he know? He had no idea how gay sex worked, because he wasn't _gay_.

Shit, why did he feel so miserable? Why did Itachi's cold eyes distress him so much?

"Like you could do any better." He uttered. He didn't know why he said that. It's like his mouth had disconnected from his brain.

"Oh but I'm pretty sure I could." He smirked. His eyes weren't so cold anymore and now there was some kind of strange warmth in the way he looked at it. "It's now a question if you can hold on for more than five seconds."

He didn't know why, but inwardly Sasuke felt some sort of relief for knowing that Itachi wasn't after all mad at him. Although he kept insulting him in the most irritating way.

"Fuck you." He replied. "I'm not a fag, I don't get off with a penis inside my rectum."

The conversation couldn't have become any more awkward. His mouth had permanently disconnected from his brain. Sasuke would've never said such thing like that in any other situation, and he didn't know what Itachi had that made him say the most idiotic things.

Itachi chuckled. There was now a glitter in his eye.

"Should I bet on that?"

Did someone mention a bet?

"You should count your money before making a bet."

Really, someone put tape over his mouth. That would be something Sasuke would say in a poker game, not when he was betting…what the hell were they betting anyway?

Itachi chuckled again. "You are right. How about one hundred thousand yen?"

Sasuke gulped. This was going a bit too far, wasn't it? And shamelessly, he was feeling unexplainably aroused with… the bet. Whatever that bet was.

"I…don't have that amount of money."

"You don't need to, as I am not challenging you any money if I prove you wrong. It is I who is casting a bet, therefore only I have the obligation to purpose the money I am willing to pay if you prove to me that you can be faithful to your own words when you say 'you don't get off with a penis inside your rectum'".

What the hell was he talking about? What kind of bet was that?

Itachi stepped closer, and Sasuke felt his heart nearly burst with the proximity. His blood rushed towards his groin and he couldn't stop all the arousal that came just from the anticipation of something he didn't quite know what yet.

"I have put my money on the table." Itachi said, with a low yet soft voice, managing to capture again Sasuke's utter attention with those blazing eyes. "It is now up to you to accept it or not. I believe it is your only chance to prove your convictions, but I understand if you don't want to-"

"Fine, I accept it."

For fuck's sake, why can't he just keep his mouth shut? What's wrong with him, why can't he control his responses around that guy?

Itachi's lips curled into an amused smile. In a brief second the taste of his lips and the sweet sound of his moans were brought to his memory, but Sasuke shook immediately those sensations out of his head.

"You don't mind if I schedule for next week do you? I'm afraid I'm a bit busy right now."

"Fine. I'm busy too now." He wasn't, actually, but he felt like he should give the impression that he was a busy man too and that Itachi wasn't the only thing on his mind.

No, he wasn't.

"Perfect. How about Wednesday, 9 pm? My house."

"Deal."

Neither of them moved from their stances, as if they were locked in each other's gaze. It was Shisui, who had eventually returned from his trip to the dry cleaner that broke their silent staring contest.

"You're scheduling what?"

Strangely, neither of them had noticed his presence before. Sasuke almost jumped in surprise when he approached, and blurting an excuse he took the opportunity to just get out of there.

Once outside, with his heart pounding in his chest, Sasuke sighed and looked at the sky, where some dark clouds began to threaten the weather. And he wondered, half confused half aroused, what the hell that bet consisted of after all.

**::**

**::**

Music lyrics by Aloe Blacc: "I Need a Dollar"


	11. Choose the right shampoo for your hair

**A/N:** I hope no one here can read Chinese, because being the professional and ethical writer that I am, it's fairly obvious that I typed some randomness in Google Translate.

* * *

**::**

**::**

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_Shampoo available at your local Chinese store in your neighborhood._

_If your neighborhood doesn't have a Chinese store, please contact the Embassy of the People's Republic of China and report the problem._

**:: ::**

Sometimes, when he woke up a bit too early in the morning, Sasuke enjoyed stopping by Lady Oomura's _kissaten _(1) to drink a mug of black tea before he went to college. That day he was supposed to go to Neji's house to finish their assignment, but he still had one spare hour to delight himself with one of Oomura's rice cookies. She used to give him one or two for free whenever he stopped by, saying that his presence at her_ kissaten_ was usually the only thing that motivated her lazy daughter to work more and complain less. It was only a bit annoying when her daughter decided that the only spot of the floor that needed to be cleaned at that precise hour that he was there was that one near his table. Yet he didn't mind, because those cookies were to die for.

Typically Sasuke wasn't a sweets appreciator, but Oomura's rice cookies were the gold exceptions. She told him her recipe was a secret of a thousand years, and he had no trouble in believing her since the history of sweets became forever tainted the moment man invented that hideous white thing called 'refined sugar'.

He parked his bike on the other side of the public park across the street as he used to, since he appreciated the five minute walk through the small yet pleasant piece of nature before he went to the _kissaten._ He prided himself on his ability to correctly identify the planted trees as he walked through the different species, even though some of them looked very similar. Asuma liked trees and he would always teach him new things about them on the rare occasions they visited Asuma's father, who lived in the countryside.

The park was almost empty, as most people in that region would only visit it during cherry blossom seasons. Though Sasuke considered the best part of park to be not the group of sakura trees planted in the picnic area, but that lonely, small Japanese black pine tree growing next to a Chinese white pine in the eastern side. It didn't seem quite a natural picture, considering that Chinese white pines typically grow at very high altitudes, and both of them need a lot of space to freely extend their branches. Yet those still young, black pine tree branches had found their way through the strong, spiky branches of the Chinese white pine tree, and the white pine accepted them in a protective embrace.

There was a trail of grassless dirt near the pine couple that pointed straight to the _kissaten_ across the road, and Sasuke walked towards it. Yet, what Sasuke definitely wasn't expecting to see when he approached the trail, was the sight of an Asuma through the window walls of the _kissaten_. He was seated at a table with an unknown woman in front of him, and from what Sasuke could tell from his shady point of view underneath the Chinese white pine, he seemed to know quite well this unknown woman. Both were definitely entertained at the presence of each other, chatting like two girl friends.

It wasn't that Asuma didn't have any female friends, but truthfully, the only female friends of his that Sasuke knew about were his male friends' wives and never appeared without their men, almost as if they were attached by an invisible umbilical cord. Not to mention the little detail that there was nothing in the world that would make Asuma get out of bed at that early hour of the morning unless it was a work-related emergency or the house was on fire. And that picture didn't seem like a work-related emergency at all.

Also, the fact that this female acquaintance of Asuma appeared to be quite an attractive woman, the type who features in magazine covers for middle-aged men with headlines like _"Scientists discover hormone that proves married women are more promiscuous than singles,"_ except with more clothing, was even more suspicious. What the hell was Asuma doing there with that woman? She didn't seem like the type of person who socialized with low-income men with a badly shaved beard. Even from that perspective angle he could tell that her dress looked expensive, her hair looked even more expensive and her neck glittered so brightly that it could only be due to the sweat of one hundred Zimbabwean boys.

What was a high-class woman with a diamond neck doing in that part of the city with Asuma? She was so different from Asuma and Kurenai's regular friends…and completely different from Kurenai. Somewhere in the consciousness of his mind Sasuke had already decided that he didn't like her.

At all.

He grunted as he uncomfortably adjusted the strap of his backpack, weighing on his shoulders with the results of his research that was needed for the assignment he had to do with Neji. Ultimately he decided to release himself from the weight and place the backpack on the ground against the tree.

He didn't want to get too much near the _kissaten_; he was afraid of being spotted by Lady Oomura and being called inside and that would be a bit awkward. On the other hand, curiosity was consuming him like a beast ravishing a tiny carcass. He didn't know why he found the ignorance he had on Asuma's social life almost unbearable; why the mere sight of an attractive woman that was not Kurenai having tea with Asuma bothered him so much and made his heart race in fury. It had crossed his mind that that meeting was nothing other than that job interview Asuma had talked to him about, but from what he could tell so far, that didn't look like an ordinary job interview. Sasuke went to enough job interviews to know that female interviewers don't wear skirts above the knees, and specially, they don't_ laugh_ like that. In fact, job interviewers don't laugh at all.

Kurenai would also say that women who wear six inch heels in the morning are not usually the ones who have to work.

Now thinking about it, Asuma had surely been acting different lately. Oddly jovial and happy, for someone who not too long ago was laid off from a company which he had been with for fifteen years. Was it because…?

"What an unpleasant surprise."

He almost jumped in surprise when a familiar voice sneaked behind him, abruptly interrupting his spying activity.

"Tenten."

He didn't know what she was doing there since she didn't live in that neighborhood, but he didn't care either. Just seeing her face was enough to ruin the rest of his day.

"Spying on someone?" She asked with a smirk, stretching her neck to see what he had been looking at. What a nosy pain in the ass.

"It's none of your business." He grunted, automatically stepping in front of her as if he was trying to block a view of the _kissaten_. Even though he was pretty sure that she didn't know his-

"Is that Asuma?"

His eyes widened; a nervous tickling bubbling up through his spine. He looked down at her completely stupefied.

"You know him?"

"I've known Asuma and Kurenai for years." She said, as naturally as one would say if they were talking about long time friends. "Don't look at me like that, I know them because they're friends of my uncle. Don't think I'm one of your stalkers."

"I…."

Sasuke was speechless. He didn't know what to think, what to do; his heart was a hundred miles an hour. Why Tenten, oh why? Over and above she even knew Kurenai! He couldn't let her take the wrong conclusion-

"I should say hello…"

She started walking toward the _kissaten_, but he quickly grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back in a bit too brusque movement than he had wished to.

"No!"

"What the…" She vehemently struggled to release her arm from his grip, yet her protesting was silenced by the moment she looked at the expression on his face. She turned her head to look to the _kissaten_ again, and then she looked back to him.

And then she closed her eyes with a deep sigh and faint smile.

"Oh, I see."

"No you don't." Sasuke uttered. "It's not what you think."

"Right…"

Tenten let out another sigh, and pulled her arm back again, as this time Sasuke was forced to release the grip to use his hand to scratch away a rash in the top of his head that had been somewhat bothering him ever since he took a bath that morning.

"Truthfully Sasuke," Tenten put down her seemingly heavy bag on the ground, and started to unzip it as she kept talking. "If you hadn't acted so suspicious right now I wouldn't assume Asuma was cheating on Kurenai."

"He's not cheating on her!"

He said that a little too loud than he would've wanted to, and some transients in the park passing nearby looked at him in mild bewilderment. He scratched his head again. Damn that obstinate rash.

"Why do you keep scratching your head?"

"It's this new shampoo…" He mumbled.

He scratched harder, and the itching finally assuaged, though he knew it would be only temporarily. What a pain. He had asked Kurenai to buy him a new shampoo because the other one was leaving his hair too oily, and she brought him some crap from some Chinese store that was now giving him allergies.

"Don't tell me you have lice?"

"No!"

"Don't come closer! Your germs are known to cause a lot of pain to people!"

He eyed her in mild contempt, wondering in slight frustration why was he still there talking to her. Tenten was flaunting an annoying smile of amusement that only gave him the urge to punch it. That aside, he noticed she had finished removing some of the content in her bag, and was now holding a pile of three or four books in her hands.

"You're going to Neji's right? Could you please pass by Sakura's house on your way back to deliver these books? It's way far from my route today and since it's in your way…"

"Deliver it yourself."

He brusquely replied, refusing to hold the pile of books as he leaned down to pick up his backpack nonchalantly.

"Don't be so mean. How long have you two not talked to each other?"

"What's with you? I thought you didn't like me near her."

She shrugged in derisive complacence, gazing with empty eyes at the soft movement of the pine leaves against the pre-winter wind.

"I didn't approve of you as her boyfriend, but I never said anything about you being her friend." She said, in a very oddly noncommittal way for her. "It…will probably be good for you two to sort things out."

"I don't having pending issues with her."

"Fine. I'll just ask Asuma then, maybe his new lady friend lives near Sakura."

"Give me those."

Grunting, Sasuke pulled the books from her arms and in a single gesture shoved them inside his backpack, almost letting them drop on the ground with the haste. How annoying. Women always managed to get their own way. "But in return, you keep your mouth shut and don't comment to anyone what you saw here today."

Tenten giggled, even though he didn't know what was so funny. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. See ya!"

He stood there under the Chinese white pine motionless as he watched Tenten walking away in the opposite direction of the_ kissaten_, wondering what was going through her head to ask him for such a favor. She surely looked out of her usual self that morning. In fact, aside from that tasteless germs joke, this was probably the first time they managed to have a conversation without constantly throwing insults at each other.

He looked back at the _kissaten_, where Asuma was still sitting seemingly amused at the company of that woman. There was no point in torturing himself over thinking about that now. With a sigh, he turned his heels around and walked back to his bike.

**:: ::**

Neji's house didn't look like a normal house for any male young adult. Well, Sasuke already knew the guy wasn't completely normal, judging by the way he complained about his family as if he was trying to paint a picture of an Indian caste system. Sure he didn't live in the Hyuuga's main building, but he had the outbuilding all for himself, and the living room alone was the size of Asuma and Kurenai's apartment. And frankly, someone who owned a fucking plasma display bigger than your bed doesn't have the right to complain about family abuse.

But back to the first premise: Neji's house was not normal. Someone got the wrong gene mixture in Neji's mother's _in vitro_ tube, that must be it. The house looked like a bizarre combination of a mysophobic's playground with someone's aunt's summerhouse. He had all the Playsations, an X-box, all Nintendos, but all were wrapped in a transparent plastic film, remotes inclusive. Two enormous wall shelves were full of videogames, DVDs, mangas and every otaku's dreams. The furniture, however, looked like it had been stolen from a country house during the 80's, half of it covered in white sheets for some reason.

"Why the sheets?"

"To not dirty the furniture." Neji said, as naturally as if he was stating something painfully obvious. "Don't touch that." He warned, before Sasuke had the change to grab a golden Buddha on the corner table to see if it was really gold.

"Your family's?" Sasuke asked, still referring to the furniture.

The Hyuuga eyed him with a somewhat disturbing expression of scorn, as if Sasuke was just a retard asking for the capital of Japan.

"I don't want to dirty_ my_ furniture." He answered.

'_This guy has serious problems.'_ Sasuke opted not to verbalize his thoughts and gave up on the questioning. No wonder his family didn't want him inside the main building.

They sat themselves at a round table near the window, which, to match the rest of the interior design, was also covered in a white sheet. The chairs weren't covered, but the seat cushions were still wrapped in plastic. It felt like they were sitting in a furniture store's warehouse. Sasuke was even amazed that Neji didn't force his guests to wear gloves inside his house.

Neji had brought his laptop to the table, and Sasuke noticed in silent amusement that it also had keyboard plastic protector and the plastics over the webcam and the touchpad hadn't been removed. He remembered a movie he once saw about a mysophobic guy in which he had to use a new soap every time he had to take a bath, and wondered if Neji was like that. Strangely, he never gave the impression of being so obsessive like that before. Maybe he was only a freak inside his house.

"Instead of just staring at me like that you could show what you have been doing about this subject these last weeks." Neji uttered, with a rather unpleasant tone of voice. Sasuke only glared in response, but he complied and started removing his research work from his backpack and placed in on the table. He suspected this was going to be a long morning.

Surprisingly, the teamwork itself went rather smoothly, beyond what Sasuke was initially expecting. They both seemed to agree with the same ideas and tended to come out with similar thoughts and opinions. Neji was also one capable of having a long attention span when the time needed. In that aspect Sasuke was finding that working with Neji was actually more productive than working with Shino, whose unconventionally crawly or flying pets tended to steal his concentration too often for Sasuke's annoyance.

Unfortunately, although Neji seemed to be completely focused on their work, same couldn't be said about Sasuke. For some reason he was finding it rather hard to concentrate that morning. Honestly, he found it hard to concentrate on anything ever since his last encounter with Itachi, where they made a bet about something Sasuke would rather not describe to anyone. On top of that, the picture of Asuma with a strange woman at the _kissaten_ refused to leave his mind. He tried to convince himself over and over that it was nothing, it didn't mean anything and there was a logical explanation for that that didn't violate the rules of monogamy. But beyond that there was another question that he couldn't answer, and that was why – why did it _bother_ him so much? Why should he care if Asuma fools around if they were not even his real family? It was only temporary…was it? He was going to find his real parents, right? And when he does…then what?

Maybe he was just feeling sorry for Kurenai. She was now the breadwinner of the house and she didn't even like her job much, the last thing she needed was her idiot soul mate meeting attractive women at a _kissaten_. Damn, why was he even assuming that Asuma was cheating on her? It wouldn't be like Asuma at all. He swears that guy was sometimes more of a feminist than Tenten herself. He would never do that to Kurenai. Would he?

She would be devastated if such a thing happened… God, he was really growing too attached to them.

_*Click!*_

"What…?" Sasuke snapped out from his thoughts upon the sound of a digital camera shooting in front of him. Did Neji just take his picture?

"Sorry. If I warned you first you would've moved." Neji said in his usual nonchalant manner, as if he had just done the most natural thing in the world. He was holding some fancy Canon digital camera in his hands that, shock of all shocks, was not plastic wrapped.

"Why did you take my picture?"

Neji had this enigmatic expression looking at the digital screen of the camera.

"Because you look a lot like my cousin Yoji."

His cousin _Yoji_?

This guy was really living in a parallel universe.

"Do you often take pictures of people that look like your family relatives?"

Neji lifted his head, gazing at something in the air as he took a moment of silence before he said: "No…

…not really."

He actually had to pause to think on that answer.

"But you really do look a lot like him…" He continued, all that while caressing the camera's digital screen with his thumb. Just when Sasuke thought he couldn't be any weirder.

His facial expression had changed into a melancholic semblance, and Sasuke wondered if this cousin Yoji was a deceased relative that Neji missed terribly. That could be understandable, somewhat. Still weird though. You don't normally take pictures of other people just because they look like your dead relatives.

"What happened to him?"

Not exactly the answer he expected. Neji just eyed him as if he has just made another stupid question. "Nothing happened to him."

"I thought…"

"You thought what?"

Sasuke sighed. "Never mind."

He should've realized by now that asking logical questions to Neji hardly results in logical answers. But the next time they have a school assignment together, he'll make sure to introduce Neji to planet Earth, where people don't take pictures of others without a good reason.

He still found it curious the detail of the camera not being plastic-wrapped like the rest of the technology in that room. Though considering the satisfactory rate of Neji's answers, he didn't bother to ask why.

"Damn!" He grunted, jerking both of his hands to fiercely scratch the irritated skin under his hair. Not that stupid rash again! How fucking unnerving. Why the hell did Kurenai have to buy him the shampoo from a fucking Chinese store? Was it too hard to find a decent Japanese one at the supermarket? No wonder Chinese products weren't backed with guarantee refunds, the country would bankrupt otherwise.

"Is something wrong?" Neji looked genuinely concerned. Sasuke must be really looking like Darwin's living proof of chimp ancestry for Neji to put a face like that.

"It's this new shampoo Kurenai bought me." Sasuke grimaced in sheer relief, as he felt that the rash had finally mitigated. "I think I'm allergic to it."

"I hate when that happens." Neji said, calmly as ever, as if hair rash was simply a natural phenomenon. "That's why now I only use GTP milk hair shampoo."

He did have a serious look on his face when he said that.

"You sound like a commercial."

Neji didn't seem to appreciate his comment, his lips curling down in an expression of contempt; yet it didn't stop him from continuing to act like freak. Just when Sasuke thought he had seen all of the Hyuuga's weirdness, Neji put down his camera down, stood up, walked around the table to stand in front of him and untied his hair, letting it fall down smoothly over his shoulders.

"Touch my hair."

Although Sasuke was of the opinion that the human being is a combined product of genes, culture, and education, he was sure that in no part of the human planet is it considered normal for guys to ask other guys to touch their hair.

"What?"

"It's all about the shampoo. C'mon, feel it."

Sasuke stared at his face speechless, but he soon concluded there was no pun intended. The guy was really serious about that, even though Freud would've linked ten different sexual meanings to the way he said it.

"I'm not going to touch your hair."

"Why not?"

"Because…!" He became mute again, unable to think of a rational way to explain common sense to a socially inept individual. The thing about Neji, is that while you can't expect logical answers for him, when the times come you also can't think of a logical answer to give. It must've been frustrating for his family to raise him.

He wasn't moving, and Sasuke quickly realized that it would be better for him to just comply to his whim. At least there was no one else there. It's not like the furniture had eyes. And even if they did, they were covered in sheets.

-intermission-

_~ Please stay tuned while the production fires the guy who wrote __that__ last joke. ~_

_~ Thank you for waiting ~_

Reluctantly Sasuke complied, touching the tip of a falling lock of Neji's hair, while he rolled his eyes to the side, trying to remember the moment when the group work turned into 'touching each other's hair session' . Aside from the weirdness of the situation itself, it was pretty smooth. Neji's hair, that is. Kinda like Itachi's hair. Not exactly like his hair, Itachi still had some crude touch to it. It looked very smooth, but when you ran your fingers through Itachi's hair you could feel the raw keratin threads of someone who is not obsessed with hair moisturizers and brushers...

"Hmm, your touch is like my cousin Yoji's…"

When Neji said that Sasuke realized that he was not just touching a lock of his hair, but actually interlacing his fingers into it. Embarrassed and confused, he quickly withdrew his hand and almost jumped out of his chair.

"Ugh, sorry! I didn't mean to-"

And before he even had the time to assimilate Neji's comment and the strangely sexual way he worded it, the now aroused Hyuuga suddenly plunged onto him and slapped his lips on his hard.

Literally. The guy just slammed his lips on his mouth out of the blue and Sasuke even had to grab himself to the table for balance so he wouldn't fall back out of his chair.

What the…?

Neji was fucking mouth-kissing him. Like, moving his lips hard against his mouth and all.

And Sasuke was so stupefied by that that it took quite some seconds for his frozen brain to recover its electrical activity, while in the meantime the oddly violent Hyuuga wrapped his fingers around Sasuke's jaw and forced it to open.

"The fuck are you doing?" Sasuke screamed, pushing Neji's body and mouth away from him.

Neji looked genuinely shocked, with such an expression that was a pure violent contrast to his usual apathy. His face turned red spontaneously and his eyes fidgeted in perplexity, trying to reason what had just happened there.

"I…I'm sorry, I…" he started stuttering, unable to state anything coherent.

"I should go."

Sasuke didn't wait for explanation. He quickly grabbed his things, messily dropped them inside his backpack and ran out of there before Neji decided to kiss-slam him again.

**::**

What the hell was wrong with the male population in Japan?

First, Itachi. But that guy was half-Chinese so he was already half-fucked up, he had a half-excuse for his homo shit. But Neji? He would never imagine that guy had a thing for men. He seemed like a perfectly normal straight guy. Well, risk the normal part.

It's not that Japan didn't have enough homosexuals per capita already – please, just turn the TV on. But normal Japanese gay men don't make bold moves like that on normal Japanese straight men. Especially with Sasuke. He thought he made it pretty clear to the world that he wasn't interested in sucking dicks. Did someone write on his forehead "Kiss me if you have a dick" while he was asleep?

Just to check, he paused at a mirrored shop-window. No, nothing on his forehead. He turned around. His back was clean too.

Okay, straightforwardly: this isn't really the first time this kind of thing happened to him. He had to deal with some kids hitting puberty back on Orochimaru's farm, but considering there were no girls there, the boys didn't have much choice either. But they would hardly try anything with him if they wanted to preserve the image they saw in the mirror. And then in junior high school, he remembered this older guy from the karate club approaching him in the bathroom trying to kiss him. He ended up with one missing tooth. He didn't know what they taught in the karate club, but it surely wasn't fighting.

He doesn't resort to violence anymore. Maybe that's the problem. But then again, he also knew that violence tended to lead to retaliation, and Asuma and Kurenai having to pay for his hospital bills. And they did spend a huge amount of money on therapy for him, the least he could do was guarantee them that it wasn't a complete waste of money. Speaking about therapy, Neji was sure in need of that. A lifetime of therapy.

But damn, he didn't like at all what Neji did it to him. He wasn't going to hit him, but teamwork with him from now on will be extremely awkward. Even with all his weirdness, he was a decent worker. Why did he have to do that?

And what did he mean with Sasuke looking like his cousin Yoji? Was that why he kissed him? Isn't that considered incest in the modern world? Damn. What a freak. Neji doesn't need therapy after all; he needs to be abducted by aliens and be completely reprogrammed to normality.

Immersed in his thoughts, he didn't realize he had already got to Sakura's place. He wondered if he should tell her about what happened. Neji was part of her group of friends after all. He doubted that Sakura knew about Neji's several derangements.

Then again, it would probably be best if he avoided any conversation with Sakura. He suddenly remembered about that incident with Itachi in that crazy woman's house, when Sakura and his father almost caught them doing… shit, why did his life have to be so complicated? He didn't feel like talking to her about something he couldn't even understand himself. See the shocked look on her face, again. He remembered pretty vividly that expression when he walked out of the room, leaving her half-naked boyfriend behind. And the denouncing smell. God, could there be a more tiny and moist room than that one they picked for fucking in that house? The smell of semen sopped the air like a poisoning gas. Only a blind person without a nose wouldn't have figured out what happened in that room.

Damn. Maybe he should just leave the books on the door and walk away…

"Oh Sasuke you're here!"

The door had opened before he could make a decision, and Sakura's mother popped out with her thirty-two teeth smile and very wide open eyes. She sometimes made him wonder what life was like for a person who faced the world everyday with an expression of someone who just came out of a horror movie after mistaking it for comedy.

"I was just passing by…"

Too late. She was already grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.

"How is Kurenai? Does she still look gorgeous and thin? I haven't seen her for so long but I bet she looks the same, I'm so envious! How's Asuma? Did he manage to keep his job? Poor guy, he had always been such a hard-worker! How are you? You haven't come here for a long time, Sasuke! I know you and Sakura broke up, but you know you're still very well welcomed in this house! Are your studies going well? Are you happy with your course? Do you like your teachers?"

Sakura's mother had her own typical way of bombing questions at people as if the world was going to end somewhere in the next hour and she had to know everything about everyone in the shortest period of time. The first time he met her he found her rather intimidating, not just because she had the ability of shooting one hundred questions in less than a minute, but mostly because she did it with a face that could be Joker's congenital twin. Sakura told him she had an obsession with plastic surgeries and was still in therapy because of that. But even though she looked a bit crazy, she was a nice person deep down.

"I'd love to chat with you but I really need to go to an appointment right now. But make yourself at home, there are homemade cookies in the kitchen if you want! SAKURA, SASUKE IS HERE!"

He grimaced at the woman's scream. That family was so obnoxiously loud. Although they dominated the language, Sakura's adoptive family wasn't Japanese. He didn't remember if they were from Brazil, Mexico or Peru, but he knew they were from somewhere in Latin America where people commonly communicate with each other in Caps Lock. They were also composed of only women now. Sakura's adoptive father died quite too soon with cancer, so the current inhabitants in that house were all female – the mother, the daughter, the mother's sister who spent more time there than in her own house, and the imported maid who cursed in her native language. Even the goddamn dog was a she, and she barked like crazy when someone tried to pet her.

"You staying for dinner?" Sakura's mother asked.

"No, no." He quickly replied. "Thanks, but I can't."

Last time he stayed for dinner was exactly it – the _last time_. Imagine three women and a barking dog narrating all the events of their days at the same time, all the while managing to perfectly hear what each other was saying. They say women can multitask, but a man is only born with attention span for one person at a time. Sometimes not even that much.

"Sasuke?"

Sakura had appeared on the top of the chairs, seeming surprised to see him there.

"Honey, give him some tea and some cookies. Mommy needs to go to that doctor again okay? Bye-bye my children, it's really nice to see you again Sasuke! Come by more often!"

She finally left the house, leaving the two of them alone. Sakura seemed at first undecided as to what to do, staring at Sasuke with such a puzzled expression that it for some reason made him feel nervous. He remained silent, hoping for her to be the first to initiate the conversation. Eventually Sakura decided to step down the stairs and head to the living room, nudging him to follow her.

The Haruno women aside, he always found Sakura's home strangely comforting, although equally hysterical-looking. Even with all the morbid crucifixes from their Catholic background hanging in every single wall division to remind them of the gory way their messiah died, the house was decorated in warm and exotic colors that weren't typically seen in Japanese households. Space wasn't apparently important to them, as they always tried to fit more furniture then what they actually needed, and the white walls lost the battle against the frantic amount of paintings, hangings, painted plates, and everything else that could be nailed to a wall. It was a house that screamed of life, even when there was nobody else home.

"Tea?"

"No, I'm fine."

Sighing, she sat on the couch, and resting her hands on her knees, she asked: "So, what brings you here?"

He decided to sit down too. Although he didn't plan on staying there much longer, their couch was just too comfortable to dismiss it.

"Tenten asked me to bring you these." He removed the books from the backpack he had dropped on the floor against his legs, and put them on the low glass table in front.

"Oh…is that so?"

She didn't seem particularly interested in the books, giving them only a quick glance before she turned her attention back to Sasuke.

"I thought you were here to clarify what happened the other day."

She smirked. Boy, that was fast. He thought they were going to have some weather talk before that 'subject' was brought up. He actually planned on getting out of there before she had the chance to bring that up. He never imagined she'd go straight to business. With a smirk.

That devious look didn't suit her at all.

"I…don't really want to talk about it." He swallowed nervously, feeling his face getting uncomfortably hot. Her smirk was rather upsetting. He felt like a badly behaved child who did something naughty and she was just waiting for an opportunity to punish him.

She chuckled, and stretched her arms along the couch's back, sprawling her legs further in a very relaxed position.

"Tsk, seriously Sasuke. You're so pathetic."

What did she just say?

"No, really." She sighed, and looked at the window. Her facial expression had changed for a more serious one. "For all these years I did nothing but cry. I thought the problem was me. I thought that the reason why you kept cheating on me, or why you drank so much, was because of something I did. Tsk, what a fool I was."

He remained silent, gazing at the pile of books ignored on the table while she rambled about her own ignored feelings. He still had the feeling she was mocking him for something he hadn't quite figured out yet.

"I'm done crying now. I came to realize I was never the problem, Sasuke. _You_, are the problem."

He closed his eyes. He was prepared for the insults. Maybe it was fair, since he knew he had miserably failed his boyfriend duties with her, although he didn't exactly agree with her as to being _the_ problem. Come on, she was a bit messed in the head as well. What kind of self-respecting girl would always forgive what he did?

"Are we done?"

"See? That's what I'm talking about. You want to run away from the truth again. And then drown yourself into alcohol, feel pity for yourself like you always do. Geez, what a pathetic man I had fallen in love with."

He seized his fists and brusquely stood up.

"You're one to talk." He uttered, feeling suddenly extremely angry at her. How dare she insult him? What kind of person did she think she was? Just because she broke up at him doesn't mean she held the right to say whatever she wanted about him. "You even went to lengths of finding a gay boyfriend just to make me jealous."

Shit, he didn't want to say that. He was really trying to avoid touching the 'other day incident' topic. It's her fault for making him so angry.

To his astonishment, she _laughed_. More like a giggle, yet shockingly she didn't seem affected at all by what he said about her boyfriend.

"Conceited, huh? But you're right, I did try to use Itachi for that. I admitted already I was a fool. Funny how things turned out to be…"

She stood up too, and walked towards the window she had been looking at. Something outside seemed to be really catching her attention. Why did she feel so calm? Why was he the only one that was angry there? She was the one who got cheated, damn it! By two consecutive boyfriends, that must be a record! She should be feeling like shit. Shouldn't she?

"Aren't you angry?"

"I already said I'm done crying. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. And I feel like now I'm able to look at things at a different perspective."

"What do you mean?"

She turned around to look at him again. And then she smiled. Not a devious smirk, but a genuine 'I'm happy with my life' smile.

"I'm glad I met Itachi, because he opened my eyes. I feel like… no, I_ needed_ to see the truth with my eyes in order to move on. I was so attached to an illusion that…I think now I can be truly free. I have no regrets." She paused for another sigh. He only wanted to punch the happy look on her face away. "But what about you, Sasuke? Are you able to live a life with open eyes and have no regrets?"

"I have no regrets."

It was a flat out lie, but he didn't believe her either.

"Oh really? Is that why you can't even say out and loud that you had sex with my boyfriend?"

He gasped and stepped back involuntarily. A million excuses to get out of there scrambled through his mind, but none of them seemed sufficiently excusable.

He didn't know why the mere invocation of that shameful day's events caused him such anxiety, in a way that he had to fight back the slight nausea that welled up inside him. All those faces flashed inside his head, Sakura's shocked face, Fugaku's shocked face...

Itachi's judging face.

It truly wasn't a memorable day.

"You don't know what you want. You're like a lost puppy, Sasuke. You don't even know what you seek in love."

She kept talking, he could barely hear her. He yanked his hands to press his fingers on his temples, wishing nothing more than for the faces would go away. He felt like everyone was judging him, pointing fingers at him and laughing at his abashment. Itachi laughing at him. '_Your sexual performance that day, sucked.'_

"That's not true." He mumbled, though he wasn't sure to whom his reply was directed to.

His mind was a mess.

"Yeah? Let's see…" Sakura kept talking, and talking and talking- "you have great parents who love you yet you refuse to call them dad or mom. You are virtually unable to develop an intimate relationship with women and you can't have sex with them without a drink first."

"Wha-?"

"You are completely infatuated with Itachi and you can't even admit that to yourself."

"That's not true." He repeated, feeling more and more angered, disorientated, defeated.

That was not true. That was so not true. She was making the wrong interpretations. He knew she was going to make the wrong interpretation. Damn it! Why did she have to bring up that subject? Why can't she fucking ignore what happened? Why can't the world just fucking leave him alone?

"Oh please, even Naruto knows something is going on between the two of you."

Sasuke was livid. He almost choked dry-swallowing, and his body tensed up.

"You told him?"

"He's my best friend, I talk to him."

He couldn't describe the fury that just clutched his mind and screamed at his body, making him clench his fists all too strenuously. In an impetus of anger he jumped toward her and pushed her against the window, his hand gripping around her neck.

"You had _no right _to tell other people what happened."

"What are you…" She looked vividly shocked, as she enrolled her hands over Sasuke's grip around her neck, hauling her head up in difficulty. "You're hurtin-"

"What's your goal, Sakura? Are you trying to humiliate me?"

"That's not it!"

It may have taken all of her strength but she managed to yank the threatening force off of her neck, and Sasuke was forced a few steps backwards before he regained his senses. He looked at her with thoughtless eyes, and for a moment he did not recognize the intensely red finger prints he had left on her soft skin. Overwhelmed by shock and confusion at the same time, with the now dissipating anger still tingling in his chest, he was unable to speak a word as he inertly watched Sakura massaging her neck, her eyes fighting the meddling tears that started to gather in the corners.

"It's just Naruto, _our friend_. If you can't talk freely to your friends, to whom are you going to talk to?"

Her breathing was abnormally erratic, but she quickly gathered her composure. Her neck looked awful.

"I understand why you're angry, but you can talk to us Sasuke. You don't need to feel ashamed, we won't judge you…."

She was trying to reach him but her voice was so far away, as if trapped in another dimension. His mind was numb with the combustion of all those raw emotions. His heart was still madly pounding against his chest as if he had been injected with an overdose of adrenaline. What the fuck happened? Just out of nowhere, he was caught in an uncontrollable rage attack as if he was 12 years old again. He had therapy for fuck's sake. Years of it. This shouldn't have happened.

Man, he was so confused. Why would that incident with Itachi affect him more that it should? He felt like he was terrified of something, but he didn't know _what._

"Please Sasuke, just tell us what's in your heart! You can trust us. You, me, Naruto…We practically grew up together!"

She stepped closer to him. Dangerously closer. He didn't want to deal with her. Her presence was too invasive. He wanted her to just shut up. Everyone just should just the fuck up.

"Because Sasuke, of all people" she stepped closer, closer, closer "You're the one who needs friends the most."

Closer.

"You try to act like you don't need anyone, but you keep ending up running away from things. And you only hurt yourself further with all this rage locked up inside, you end up drinking too much and… Please, just…let us be there for you…"

She tried to reach his face with her hand but he brusquely slapped her away.

"Fuck you. I don't need you for anything."

And he left.

**::**

He was so _angry._

Infuriated.

Mad. Just so freaking _mad._ Mad at Sakura for being so obnoxiously nosy. Mad at her for telling Naruto Big Mouth about what happened. Mad at her for acting so miss-know-it-all as if she knew more about life than him.

Mad at her for being right.

Not in every aspect, but it just simply irritated him the fact that she could sometimes be so annoyingly spot on about him. It still doesn't change the fact that she_ is_ the pathetic one for being so hopelessly submissive sometimes, not him.

Yes, he had been running away from everything. He knew that. He had been avoiding the Orochimaru's case investigators for quite some time. He ran away when he heard the knocks on the door in that semen-scented damp room of that crazy woman's house. And just this morning, he ran away when he saw Asuma at Oomura's with an unknown woman. He didn't know why he acted like that; after what he had been through one shouldn't expect him to find it so difficult to accept the true colors of reality. It was as if somewhere during his lifetime he found a comfortable carcass on the ground and now he didn't want to step out of it.

But if there was something he couldn't bear it was to be called pathetic. Maybe he had been acting a bit like a coward lately, but that was about to change. What day was today?

Tuesday.

Tomorrow will be Wednesday. He has classes until 3, and after that there is time to go to the public prosecutor's office by himself to tell what they need to know about Orochimaru.

At 9 pm he had a bet to win at Itachi's house. He won't run away this time. This time he won't-

DAMN IT! He jerked his hand to his head, furiously scratching the hell-bent allergy.

Fucking Chinese products.

**::**

**::**

(1) Japanese style coffee shop.

* * *

**A/N:** I am so sorry for taking so long to update. I'm working on the next chapter now. Hopefully it will take less time. Hopefully it will be musky, slickly and wet. At 9 pm. Be there.


	12. The humble lover

******Warning: **Male homo sapiens coupling. Viewer discretion is advised.

* * *

**::**

**::**

K-pop has hit the world.

Global sales are estimated to have been worth over $60m last year, and they are expected to increase. Large fan bases are flourishing in every corner of the world. United States. Canada. Brazil. France. Australia. Vietnam. Thailand. China. Japan.

Agencies hand-select young boys and girls for their million dollar music industry and train them to make them into big pop stars. Some of whom were even picked out of grade school to start their training, that consists of long hour lessons of dance, singing, body shaping and foreign languages. The result: tens of millions worth of boys and girls bands singing and dancing catchy Korean pop songs in multi-language versions that soon reached the international market.

K-pop is no longer a cultural, isolated phenomenon. Its fever is unstoppable.

K-Pop has everything to do with music, globalization, redefining music tastes, and nothing – absolutely nothing – do to with this story whatsoever. Nobody listens to K-Pop here. Maybe Naruto, but Naruto listens to everything that moves and makes a sound.

K-Pop has nothing to do with this story. Except for one little detail. K-Pop Band names sound like condom brands.

Seriously, they do. And I need a condom brand for the brothers. They are going to have safe sex. There are kids reading this story without parental supervision.

Here's a list of Love In Chinese's condom brands stocks. Which do you think it would be the brothers' choice?

Infinite – _Skin sensitive condoms, to improve your sexual pleasure to infinity._

Super Junior – _Cheap and safe condoms for young lovers initiating their sex life._

4MEN – _Condoms for real men with real cocks._

TVXQ – _A new, latest technology material for latex __allergists__. Comes in five different sizes._

Girls' Generation – _Economic package with 40 female condoms. Because the women want it too._

U-KISS – _We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, mint and a lot of other different flavors!_

MBLAQ – _A special extra large condom for your extra-sized African cock._

2AM – _Very durable and resistant condoms for long nights of making love._

2PM – _For a quickie after lunch. Biodegradable technology._

M.I.L.K – (I leave this one to your imagination)

**:: ::**

It wasn't until the day in question arrived that Sasuke realized: he didn't know where Itachi lived. Sakura probably knew, but after the previous day's discussion he wasn't very much inclined to ask her. Though it was for situations like this that the white pages existed, and he headed for the phone table to look for the thick book.

As he ran through the pages under the letter U and let his finger trail down the names until it hit the Uchihas, he was disappointed to find that no 'Uchiha Itachi' appeared on the list. Who does he think he is, a celebrity? Then again, there can be more than one reason for a criminal attorney not wanting to have his address in the book. He was sure that Vito Corleone's lawyer wouldn't have his private address in the book either.

He looked at the yellow pages' twin book. He supposed calling his firm was the only solution left, seeing that he didn't even have his private phone number. He found the Uchiha ad quickly, almost occupying half a page and making the other law firms' ads look like tiny ants about to be stomped on by the giant elephant that is the Uchiha Corporation. He was mildly surprised, mildly upset to see the number of agencies across the country they had: aside from the main agency in Tokyo and the second opened in Kyoto, they had telephone numbers for agencies in Yokohama, Osaka, Sapporo and Hiroshima. Annexed to the ad, they listed the different specialties in law work. It was like a fucking McDonald's of lawyers, except for the fact they don't come in menus.

He dialed the Kyoto number. A female voice spoke on the other side of the line.

"_Uchiha&Son Law Corporation at your service."_

"Hi I… I have an appointment with Uchiha Itachi at his house, but I lost the address. Can you give it to me?"

Silence.

"_Sir, I'm not authorized to give his private address."_

Yeah, kind of a pointless question, come to think about it. They probably get that a lot.

Damn, he didn't want to ask him personally for his address. Why didn't Itachi give it to him already when he made the bet? Was he waiting for him to figure it out by himself?

Taking a look at the clock hung on the entrance hall, he hoped Itachi had already arrived at work.

"Fine. Can I speak to him at least?"

"_Your name, please?"_

"Sasuke. I mean, Sarutobi Sasuke."

"_Oh, like the ninja from the tales?"_ Her voice had changed to a more amused tone.

He grimaced. That stupid name of his will always haunt him for the rest of his life. He_ couldn't_ really be the only person in Japan with that name. Though he supposed it didn't really matter when you have the same name of a folklore character. At least he wasn't named after a ramen brand from the 80's like Naruto. That is definitely worse, even though Naruto found it something to be proud of.

"Yes." He replied through gritted teeth.

"_Please hold on, I'm going to see if Mr. Uchiha is available."_

Whoever chose Queen's _We Are the Champions_ as the song for callings on hold in the Uchiha lawyer firm should be fired. That was what Sasuke thought. And it wasn't until the song was already in the last chorus that Sasuke was attended by Mister-I'm-Too-Important-To-Have-My-Address-In-The-Book.

"_Yes?"_

"It's eight thirty in the morning. You can't be seriously busy at this hour." Sasuke grunted. Although he didn't have a specific reason to complain about why Itachi took three minutes to pick up the phone, he just felt the urge to complain whenever Itachi was the subject. Just as the ostrich feels the urge to ruffle its feather whenever a threatening male comes into sight. It comes down to an alpha male instinct in the end.

"_Should I leave that as a statement, or __do__ you wish me to describe what I was doing during these two minutes before I had the chance to take your call?"_

Sasuke didn't know if it was the suggestive way the other worded his response, or if it was the fact that he had skipped that morning's self-relief, but he could almost feel Itachi's smirk on the other side of the line and that was having its morning effects on some sacred part of his body.

"You didn't give me your address." He said, trying not to give too much importance on the current thoughts playing in his mind that certainly deserve a censorship pixilation.

"_My address?"_

"For tonight's…business."

Did he forget about it? He hoped not. Because otherwise, Sasuke would feel incredibly stupid at himself.

"_I'm terribly sorry for my carelessness, but since you left so decidedly during our last encounter, I was given the impression you already had __it__. Do you have something to write with you?"_

"Yes."

Sasuke quickly grabbed a loosened pen and a forgotten shop recipe on the table and scribbled down Itachi's address and his given direction to reach his house.

"Do you need me to bring anything?"

Not even 9 o'clock and he managed to make his first idiot question of the day. It was a bet, not a sex party for heaven's sake.

"_Not particularly, unless you want to bring something. I'm quite open to alternative experiences."_

What a funny way to word it. Itachi was probably the only guy left in the 21st century that still referred to 'sex toys' as an 'alternative experience'.

"I was talking about condoms." He corrected himself.

"_I do have those. Do you have preference for certain brands or types…?"_

"I only use the TVXQ ones, larger size." It was only the tenth of a second after he said that that he remembered he wasn't going to be the one wearing the condom.

"_What an interesting coincidence. Me too."_

There was that smirk again, Sasuke could feel it. And that talking about condoms made his jeans feel tighter than he wanted them to be. In fact, he didn't know why he was still talking to Itachi, as it didn't matter anything else if he was bent on wining that bet.

"Splendid." Sasuke replied, in a sarcastic tone. "I prefer cash, by the way."

"_Noted. See you tonight, Sasuke."_

And he hung up. What a bastard. Sasuke wanted himself to be the one to hang up first.

**:: ::**

He managed to avoid running into Naruto pretty much all day, but the blonde caught him just when he had finished his classes and was preparing to go see the prosecutor. Shadow was there too, but that wasn't surprising.

"Are you _avoiding _me?"

It was difficult to tell if Naruto was actually angry at him or just upset that they hadn't talked for the last few days. Sometimes Sasuke wished he had more friends, if not just to make him crystal clear that his social life does not summarize Naruto's existence.

"I'm not your girlfriend Naruto." Sasuke coldly replied. Though not the best reply he could give, considering Naruto's past girlfriends, real and imaginary, also tended to avoid him at some point of his life.

"Wha- Geez man that's gross!" Naruto grimaced, yet as if realizing what he may have implied, he immediately rephrased his comment, visibly embarrassed and red. "Not that I'm against men loving each other you know, I'm totally cool with that! I just said it would be gross you and me. Not that I think you're gross or anything, and I don't think I'm gross. Just…"

Sasuke frowned. Sai sighed, almost about to comment but ultimately deciding not to. Clearly there was a part of his brain that Sai had to renounce to in order to survive being with Naruto 24/7.

"Well I still have another class, I should be going." Naruto stated, scratching the back of his head frenetically. "But don't think you're off the hook Sasuke." He pointed a threatening, or supposed to be threatening finger at him, before he left them to go back to his building.

The two boys were left in silence, exchanging puzzled looks. Eventually Sai shrugged, and said "I should go too" before he prepared to walk in the opposite direction. Yet Sasuke halted him.

"Sai."

The other turned around. "Yes?"

Sasuke took a reticent step forward. "Can I… ask you something?"

Sai seemed surprised at Sasuke's approach. Truthfully, this was most certainly the first time Sasuke ever wanted to ask him anything, let along initiating a conversation.

"Sure."

"Well… it's a curiosity, don't get the wrong idea."

"What is the question?"

"It's… kind of…" He sighed. Better just let it out for once. "It's about homosex-… gay sex."

Sai's facial expression remained the same. Sasuke wondered if he got that question a lot. The way he dressed, Sai was practically a walking billboard of Gay Advertisement.

He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to ask him such a question, but he at least wanted to be prepared for the foreign activity his body was about to endure that night. Up until now, and save from the cock doctor's probing fingers, the role of his rectum channel had been reserved only for his bowel movements, and it still made him uncomfortable to assign it a different role that is not its specialty.

"What about it?"

"The ones who receive…you know. Is it painful to them?"

He feared that Sai would laugh or mock at his embarrassing question – well, if he dared to do that, Sasuke would make sure to change the shape of his nose – but the boy remained expressionless. Vaguely he wondered what it would have been like for his mother to raise a child with one facial expression for everything that happens in his life.

"First time is always a bit painful, if that's what you're asking."

"What do you mean 'a bit'?"

"The level of pain depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Lubrification, mood, environment, location, body position, hormonal balance, age, psychical attractiveness, psychical condition, psychical health, erectile performance, rectal anatomy-…"

At this point, Sasuke was no longer sure if he was talking out of experience or if it was just something Sai read in a book. But one thing was certain: if you ever need know all the irrelevant influencing factors for every daily cause-effect reaction, just ask Sai. You'll be amazed to know that even the rotation of the Earth can influence your probably of falling down the stairs, so you know what to blame next time you trip.

"Thanks, you don't need to make a list." Sasuke retorted. He added, though, out of precaution: "But you know, it's just a curiosity. Just don't tell Naruto okay?"

Sai nodded. "Okay." Then he turned around and walked away.

What a weird guy.

**:: ::**

They made him wait for a good long fifteen minutes before the prosecutor granted Sasuke his/her presence. The woman didn't explain very well on the phone why he couldn't meet them at their office, therefore Sasuke was currently sitting near the vending machine of the police station waiting for the one responsible for Orochimaru's case. It was the first time Sasuke was at that place as a material witness and not as someone who broke the law again. He always thought Japanese people had too many laws. They loved creating laws as much as Sasuke felt the need to break them.

Next to him there were a couple of police officers discussing the possible interracial marriage benefits as if women were unattached enterprises on the market and they had to think carefully which the best to invest in were. The divine wisdom of these low-paid salesmen with years of professional experience in racing against drug addicts and eating donuts, might advise you that marrying a Japanese woman is like gaining an asset, while Chinese and Korean woman are more a liability. And forget about Western women, credit ranking agencies would give them BB- just out of pity.

"I heard western women" one said, whispering, although Sasuke could hear him perfectly clear "have large vaginas to… 'accommodate' the huge penises of the western men."

Sasuke sighed in annoyance, looking at the clock on the wall. For once, he would be actually interested in Tenten's response to them, even it just to kill the boredom of that place.

Finally a police officer came to him and guided him to a room he quickly recognized as being the interrogation room. Some guys in his old school asked him once if in the interrogation room there was a good cop and a bad cop like in the movies. Sasuke would always say that, if there was supposed to be a bad cop, then he was doing an awful job at it. As far as he knew, in Japan, there was only the good cop and the not so good cop that still apologizes for not being able to offer him a drink while the interrogation lasts.

Once inside the room he found a surprisingly young woman waiting for him, and next to her a man with an unsightly face of one who went through two world wars before being run over by a truck, thrown in a river and attacked by a shark. He could be as well 30 or 60 years old, with all those scars on his face it was difficult to tell. He'd make an excellent bad cop though.

The woman was the one who initiated the dialogue, stepping forward and introducing herself. He recognized her voice as the person he had talked to on the phone.

"I'm Kato Shizune. This is my partner Morino Ibiki."

The creepy-looking guy merely nodded but remained silent. In fact, he would remain silent through the whole meeting, standing in his military pose as if the whole purpose of his life was to just to look scary. Shizune sat on other side of the table, and made a gesture for Sasuke to mimic her, while she opened the case she brought with her.

"I'm really glad that you came to us, Sasuke. I'm sorry for asking you to meet me here, but my office is being renovated and I had to improvise."

This didn't seem like the right time to have an interior decoration makeover, Sasuke thought. Though it doesn't really matter right now. He had more important questions to ask.

"How did you find me? I thought all the orphanage records were burnt."

Shizune raised an eyebrow as if she wasn't exactly expecting that inquiring, yet she shouldn't be surprised that Sasuke was very much well informed. The fire was even on the news.

He was pretty sure that was Orochimaru's doings, although he figured the man left no evidence once again. About two years after Sasuke was adopted by him, two orphanages were hit by a sudden fire that started in their basements, one of them being Tsunade's. Most of the children got away safely, two with medical problems eventually perished due to smoke inhalation. The fire consumed mainly what was stored in their basements: the archives, paper records of adoptions and all of the children's documentation that had passed by. Due to the fact that they had no computing record system back then and the country itself was still updating its demographics' database, practically all the information that existed on previous adoptions was lost. Sasuke had basis on suspecting Orochimaru to be behind that, considering that most of his children came from those two orphanages. Whether it was the lack of documentation or the lack of donuts, the police decided to close the cases as a 'random pyromaniac's' incident.

"Tsunade came to me and told me about you." Shizune replied. "She's an…old friend of mine. She wanted me to tell you how truly sorry she is for what happened to you, and if she could, she would never, ever have consented that adoption."

She had a sudden sorrowful look on her face, but Sasuke wasn't easily convinced by sympathetic words. As far as he was concerned, they were there to solve their case and promote their careers, and he was there to make sure that son of the bitch wasn't going to see the sunlight again.

"If she bothered to check Orochimaru's house once she wouldn't be sorry right now." Sasuke grunted, yet he immediately felt that was unnecessary. The State's limited funds to these children houses made it practically impossible for them to hire enough staff and pay for all the children's needs, much less give them resources to keep in track with all of their adoptions. Yet sometimes, it was just easier to blame someone else for his misfortune.

"I know. And she is deeply sorry for not doing enough."

He felt like he could sympathize with this Shizune woman, because she wasn't trying to make excuses to defend her friend. Although that could be as well perceived as a calculated approach to make him say what she wanted to hear. Yet he wasn't there to omit anything. If this meant it was the end of Orochimaru in this world, he was willing to tell everything he knew.

"But if it wasn't for Tsunade coming to me, I wouldn't be able to find you. We found that Orochimaru had forged documentation to register you in the public school, at which he used the name of Sarutobi Hiruzen as your alleged guardian. Did you know about this?"

He nodded. It would be a humorous detail of a storybook if they weren't talking about Orochimaru, and there's nothing funny about that man. Sarutobi Hiruzen, Asuma's father, who lives quite far from Kyoto, had apparently been Orochimaru's guardian after he was orphaned at a very young age. Few years after he reached adulthood, he failed an attempt to kill the old man and fled, never heard of since then. Allegedly. Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if Hiruzen still kept dusty skeletons in his closet.

In order to protect his obscure identity, Orochimaru signed as Sarutobi Hiruzen in every school notification while Sasuke was under his care, and did not even bother to change a kanji in the name to avoid possible straight connections. Imagine Asuma's face when a friend in the teaching board of the school told him she had met his father's 'adoptive son'. Orochimaru certainly wasn't expecting that. The world is small indeed.

"What do you want to know?" Sasuke asked, deciding to go straight to the point.

"To begin, you could help me to identify some bodies." She had removed three photos from her brief, but seemed a bit too aware of revealing its content to him as she kept them turned down. "We believe these boys lived with Orochimaru and were killed by him, but there are no records that could help us identify them. Are you willing to take a look at some…disturbing images?"

He didn't know what made her feel so apprehensive in showing him some photos with skeletons when he had seen worse shit in his life. Because that is certainly what's left of them by now, bones and dust.

"I don't know how I can be of any help in identifying skeletons."

Taking his response as affirmative, she showed him the pictures. As he imagined, skeletons. Three of them.

"You might be able to identify some of the items they were buried with." She added.

He complied, and grabbed the photos for a closer look. It didn't take him long to find what he was searching for. He couldn't believe Orochimaru let himself to be so reckless to the point of not fully undressing the bodies before he buried them, but then again, this might as well have been the result of Kabuto's stupidity and Orochimaru's foolishness for assigning him that job.

"These two." He pointed to the two skeletons wearing the remains of a baseball league jacket. "Sakon and Ukon. They're brothers, from the other orphanage that burned. Orochimaru caught them stealing his product."

He had her writing down everything he was saying. "His product?" She asked.

"You know. Shabu (1). They were his main mules."

Frankenstein cleared his throat in a very soundly manner. Sasuke thought he was about to speak something, but Shizune seemed to ignore her partner and continued.

"Did you witness their murders?"

"Orochimaru made them to be pretty much a lesson to everyone."

He did remember the brutal beating he and the other kids were forced to witness on them, but he couldn't say he felt sorry for them. Truthfully, they were two pieces of shit, but that was beyond the point. In the end, Sasuke found it extremely difficult to sleep as their screaming sounds kept tormenting his mind for very long, long nights that followed. But it angered him that the third skeleton, whose watch Sasuke recognized first yet brought him the most sordid memoirs, was buried in the same grave as the other two. Orochimaru, or Kabuto, or whoever was imbued to hide the bodies, had no right to bury _him _next to those two low-lives. And even if it was only for that, Orochimaru deserved the hardest sentence he could get.

"This is…Akira. I don't know much about him."

He still felt guilty about it. He kept telling himself that it was better this way, because otherwise his death would be more painful to him, but that was the same as saying that Orochimaru was right. He wasn't right. It still hurt, even though he never cared about that kid before, and always made his best to avoid him. He died because of him.

"How did he die?"

"He was killed because I tried to escape."

Orochimaru had a hideous way to show him a lesson. Akira wasn't even his friend; he was just a kid among others who developed a crush on him after Sasuke once defended him against Sakon, Ukon and two other kids' rape attempts. In a hellish place where kids made their own rules and hierarchies, and the female species was inexistent, the weaker and younger ones had it rough. Sometimes Orochimaru laid some punishment to maintain order, as he also gifted the hormonal alpha males with alcohol and prostitutes if they behaved well, but he wasn't always around. Akira, with his limp body and his hardly unnoticeable attraction for the same gender, quickly got the alpha males' attention.

For a long time after his death Sasuke blamed Akira for his stupid child crush, just to avoid the painful thought that he himself was the one to blame. He should've seen that coming. Orochimaru had an unusual and blatantly obvious likeness for him. He was the few ones allowed to go to school, although Orochimaru would always enroll two older guys in higher classes to keep an eye on him. He was the only one that never had to work on the shabu production, where most of the younger kids were filling their small lungs with toxic vapors, and he also wasn't assigned to the distribution squads which were the duty of the older members of this hugely messed up family of Orochimaru's. In fact, Orochimaru encouraged him to study, all the while trying to shape him as his worthy successor. As a consequence, Sasuke was the target of jealously in a close cult-like community like that. And Orochimaru didn't want to see the effort he had invested on him to result fruitlessness, so for his rebellion, he punished Akira.

"It has been rumored that Orochimaru would use kids as experiments for his psychotherapist work. Can you confirm this?"

"I think everything he did was always some sort of experiment."

He had no doubt, now that his mind was no longer naïve and he had more time to think about what happened, that everything Orochimaru did was some sort of experiment. Even the whole drug factory was probably just an experiment.

Officially, he was known to the outside world as a brilliant psychotherapist. As part of Sasuke's later therapy program Asuma and Kurenai had put him through, he was required to read some of Orochimaru's published books. His psychologist was probably hoping that he could better accept his past if he understood it, but in Sasuke's opinion the psychologist was the one with problems for ever suggesting something like that. But he did read. And it only angered him further when he could easily identify the traumatic events beneath the printed lines of psychological wisdom.

The scene where he was forced to watch his dog die was even there, in one of those books. He never forgot the day Orochimaru led him to an underground dog fighting club, and Sasuke innocently thought they were going to take it to the vet. Even that time he couldn't understand really what was going on, why were men cheering at his dead dog and not punishing the evil Rottweiler with his dog's blood on its teeth. But that horrible memory never left him. And there were several other situations, weird, unexplainable punishments he laid on other kids. It was pretty clear for Sasuke now. There was, after all, a reason why a pure sociopath like Orochimaru could ever be considered to be the prime specialist on the field of child traumas in the official world. He made his own children experience real traumas and later would write about them.

"Can I ask, how did you escape?" Shizune asked.

That was a good question. It was probably a mix of pure luck and pure carelessness on Orochimaru's part when he tried to used Hiruzen's identity.

After his first failed attempt, and Akira ending up paying with his life for his recklessness, Sasuke wasn't that much motivated to try that again. He avoided making any move around the kids in the house that might be perceived as friendly from the other part, but there were always one or two that annoyingly insisted on getting closer to him and only made it difficult for him to make a decision about his future.

Then one day, at school, he was called to the principal's office and it was there that he met the real Sarutobi Hiruzen, along with Asuma. The principal kept trying to convince them it was probably a misunderstanding, that there were certainly more than one Sarutobi Hiruzen in this world, but the old man insisted that his name was the only one written with those specific kanji. Then the principle called Orochimaru and asked him to come by to resolve a 'problem' there. Had he specified the problem in cause, Sasuke wasn't sure if Orochimaru dared to appear, only to be face to face with the father figure he tried to kill years ago.

Shock horror. Sasuke had never thought it was possible for Orochimaru's face color to get paler than that. For a moment he thought they would need to hang him upside down for the blood to get back to his head again. And Hiruzen almost died and came back to life in that spot. Meanwhile the principal was thinking that he just lost the most generous briber of that school.

Orochimaru was the first to talk, quickly making up something while trying to pull Sasuke by his arm from the principal's office. But Asuma stepped in the middle way between the principal's door to the school and shouted he wasn't going anywhere until that mess was sorted out. Orochimaru might have tried to threaten him, but Asuma was not only taller, he was also significantly larger and heavier than him. Orochimaru looked like an underfed refugee next to Asuma's muscular chest. An argument installed between them, the two turds Orochimaru assigned to keep an eye on Sasuke appeared to enclose a threatening circle around Asuma, yet he did not let himself be intimated in the slightest. The principal did not know what to do (calling the police was not an option for a corrupt born) and Hiruzen was still half-dead half-alive watching speechless the whole situation. And in the middle of all this Naruto storms in out of nowhere, loudly and flashily like he always does, to join the ruckus.

He didn't remember any specific moment he befriended Naruto – certainly he didn't say 'I want to be your friend' during one of their numerous fights they had on school ground – but Naruto clearly had a different interpretation on the meaning of violent rivalry. Still Sasuke knew Naruto wasn't as hard-headed as he made himself look like sometimes, and Naruto knew there was something wrong with those turds sent to watch Sasuke's behavior. Having knowing Sasuke since orphanage times, the abnormally violent and anti-social devolution Sasuke was sinking in further and further each passing year clearly told something about his adoptive father. And Naruto decided he did not like Orochimaru's face ever since the first time he saw him in school, even though his mother advised him not to meddle in other people's affairs. But listening to people's advises was not something Naruto's brain was yet (or ever will be) developed to.

"_Sasuke is not going anywhere with you!"_ The blonde had shouted, making already the decision on Sasuke's near future by himself. _"You are killing my friend!"_

Hiruzen was finally face-slapped by reality, and either because Naruto's words sounded really powerful at that moment like a soap novel reaching its gripping ending where all the drama in the past five hundred episodes was about to be solved in ten minutes, or because he simply decided to join the conflict too; but the old man stepped in and told Orochimaru that he had the opportunity to do something 'good' for once and let the boy go. Even though he didn't know who Sasuke was, or from what he should be let go of. Asuma pumped his chest.

But Orochimaru wasn't a man of patience. He finally said, with a grunt: _"How about __we__ leave it for Sasuke to decide?"_

He shot a warning glare to Sasuke, eyes telling that there would be consequences if he made the wrong decision. Sasuke, who had remained silent most of the time, was still overwhelmed with everything that was happening before him. The principal was still mute, watching from the background.

But there was a new feeling that emerged at that moment, a feeling that he could not easily describe – but it felt good. He said to Orochimaru, _"No.",_ almost without thinking, as if that world of denial was something he needed to say and do. He was out of Orochimaru's comfort zone. This was _his _comfort zone. The school. Naruto. Even those strangers seemed suddenly more familiar to Sasuke thanOrochimaru was.

There were consequences, yes, but Sasuke no longer cared if another kid paid for his choice of freedom. Orochimaru should be proud of that. He managed to make him truly insensitive. It took years of therapy for Asuma and Kurenai to fix the damage. He probably wasn't entirely fixed, but he could admit he was no longer that violent and angry kid that he was during Junior High.

He did make an anonymous phone call to the police, reporting Orochimaru's activities and his whereabouts. He wasn't sure if he did out of pity for the others or simply because he wanted to screw the man over. Maybe it was a bit of both. It was useless, because when the police arrived, Orochimaru, the kids, and everything remotely criminal inside the house was gone. Suigestu thinks he shipped the kids to China and made a factory there, because he also never saw then again after he left the house. Either that, or Orochimaru killed them all.

When Sasuke first saw Suigestu, two years after he completely abandoned his life with Orochimaru, he was restless, wondering if he should be trustworthy or not. There were a lot of devoted kids to Orochimaru, and he wouldn't be surprised if Suigestu tried to kill him for his betrayal. But Suigestu explained that he had always wanted to escaped too, and found the opportunity when Orochimaru stormed in the farm house that day and ordered an evacuation. He told him that, as he watched the other kids entering the trucks in a blind command, he sneaked away towards freedom in the opposite direction.

They went out and drank until oblivion when they heard Orochimaru got arrested, four years after he abandoned the farm's house. Yet it wasn't really motive for celebration; the charges were unrelated to the farm house and based solely on Orochimaru's alleged participation on the usage of street children in Nagasaki as drug mules. He heard Orochimaru tried to put the blame on Kabuto, but this one was never heard of again since the farm house was evacuated. He was probably killed too. Eventually Orochimaru was arrested for culprit association, resulting in a very unjust low sentence.

"Do you know anyone else that could testify the same experience of you?"

"No… I don't." Sasuke replied. Shizune sighed, a frown in her forehead formed in a worrisome sign. He could already tell by the looks on her face that the case was weak, but even if Suigetsu could help, he didn't know if he wanted Sasuke to tell about him. Suigestu knew there was an ongoing investigation on Orochimaru, and if he had wanted to help or be a part of it, he would voluntarily step forward on his own.

"You didn't find anyone else?" Sasuke asked, both out of curiosity and self-precaution.

"We found one other boy willing to testify but…" Shizune stopped for a second before she proceeded. "He's struggling with his drug addiction. I know the defense will use it to discredit him. We have to make sure that your testimony in court will be-"

Sasuke cut her off. "I didn't say I was going to testify. I'm here to help, but I never said anything about going to court."

Shizune widened her eyes in surprise. "I know that you are afraid of retaliation from Orochimaru's…loyal servants, but I assure you that-"

"I'm not afraid of them!" He realized that he practically shouted, so he calmed himself down and continued, in a more normal tone of voice. "I just don't want to testify."

"Sasuke…" Shizune eyed at him with a soft, almost motherly gaze. "We have no case without you."

"What about the bodies?"

"Circumstantial evidences. You're the only credible witness we have to link them to Orochimaru."

Sasuke wanted to believe it was just a common prosecutor's tactic to pressure witnesses to strengthen their case, and that if he decided to go to court he would unsurprisingly find five other witnesses there telling the same story. But she looked like she was telling the truth. There was true concern stamped on her face.

"Sasuke," she said, again. "Please think about it. You're the only one that can put him in jail."

**:: ::**

Sasuke had arrived at Itachi's address two minutes before their combined hour. Not wanting to give the impression that he was eager about their meeting or anything, he took a walk around the block to kill some time until it was at least five minutes past nine. It looked like a very quiet neighborhood, far from the touristic areas of Kyoto and the crowded activity in the main economic areas. Judging by the clean modern looking buildings, and the playground for children in the center of the condominial space, it was certainly designed to accommodate upper middle class families. Still, he bet Itachi was the only one there with a limited edition Lamborghini in the parking garage. He had imagined that a guy that loves spending money on expensive Cantonese dishes would prefer living in an extravagantly wealthy place and not around (upper) middle classes families.

As he finally decided to ring the bell, the door of the building opened without the voice of the viewfinder even asking for his identity, and he quickly found the elevator inside to take him to the top floor. What's with the rich people's obsession with top floors? In Sasuke's building, nobody wants to have the top floor because there is no elevator in it.

"Did you enjoy the neighborhood?" Itachi was already waiting at the door, hands loosened in his pants and body leaned against the doorframe with his characteristic smirk that was probably automatically programmed as a defense lawyer's trademark expression.

"Were you watching me from up here?" Sasuke retorted, feeling slightly embarrassed for the comment. It didn't help the fact that Itachi looked like he had just walked out of a fashion commercial from a men's magazine, with his Swiss Voile white cotton shirt unbuttoned at the top, and untied hair falling over his exposed collarbones. He did make it look pretty obvious what they were there for. "You need to find a serious past-time." Sasuke said, as he was granted permission to enter the apartment and take off his shoes. He tried not to look at his collarbones.

"If you must know, I was having my after-dinner glass of wine at the terrace when I saw you touring around the block."

Sasuke had already mirror-studied the best scorn expression to give at him when he lacked response, so he proceeded inside the apartment. It surprised him the level of simplicity he found on Itachi's interior decoration tastes. That is, aside from the oddly-out-of-place bronze colored Shishi Lion at the entrance that looked like it was stolen from a Chinese restaurant; there were no other folkloric items that decorated Itachi's apartment. No ungodly expensive Chinese pottery and red painted pillars with carved dragons or any pictures of Mao Tse Tsung that should come along encoded in his DNA.

Instead, his entrance walls were covered with book shelves, barely giving room for two people to walk side by side.

"You have a lot of books. Did you read them all or is it because they look good for decoration?"

Itachi chuckled, letting his head follow Sasuke's stare, who was fixated on a volume collection in a gold stitched binding on the top shelve.

"Ah, the Book of Odes." The host tiptoed to remove the book from its place and opened for Sasuke to see. It was full of Old Chinese scribblings in yellowed pages with memories of booklouse activity. "The earliest collection of poems from the Middle Kingdom, that influenced Confucius' philosophy."

"'White jackets' and 'grey scarves' poems?" Sasuke inquired with a frown, keeping his overly expressive disdain as a special for Itachi only.

Itachi seemed to be amused at Sasuke's allusion of the poem he recited in the Hyuuga's house after the pool bet.

"You remember the poem."

"Not really." Sasuke lied. He did remember the poem very well, but he wasn't ready to admit it. "What the hell did it mean anyway? A lame love song for Sakura's white jacket?"

"Sasuke, I believe you pride yourself to be intelligent enough to have figured out by now that your lovely friend Sakura was merely a poor innocent pawn I had to use in order to get myself invited into your own secluded wonder-world."

The younger gasped improvidently, feeling again as if he was caught in a game where Itachi was always one step ahead from him. He could feel his cheeks reddening with an uncomfortable blush, and heturned his face away from Itachi's preying eyes pretending he was admiring the rest of the book titles collection.

"It's a metonymy for humble lover." Itachi said.

"What?"

"The poem. _White jacket and grey scarf / Alone could cure my woe._ The author of a poem - a little romanticist in ancient and convulsed times - is trying to sing to us that, although he is surrounded by many willing to be his love partners, only his humble lover owns his heart."

Silence installed between them, as Sasuke tried to find the meaning behind Itachi's words, and his supposed earlier confession…or whatever that was. He still could not grasp the true colors of Itachi's motives to get closer to him, and if there was some allusion to his feelings in that poem; but he decided not to be fooled by his mischievous seduction.

"I am not your humble lover, Itachi." He replied, short and cold.

But Itachi's smile didn't fade. "I never said you were. This is just a poem, don't get cocky."

Sasuke felt his face blush furiously. "What? You just claimed you used Sakura to sexually pursue me!"

"I said I wanted to know you better. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one who is sexually pursuing me at the moment."

What a nerve this guy had. But Sasuke shouldn't be surprised at his abuse of the Rhetoric; he's still a lawyer after all.

"Don't try to reverse your perverse logic on me, I am only here to honor my part of the bet."

He had Itachi slowly walking towards him, now with a tainted smirk dazzling his semblance.

"Why did you take the bet then?"

Damn, he was too close. And there was a severe lack of space in the corridor, as he stood frozen as a stone between a book case and Itachi's body. He supposed he should have already prepared himself for this, but he wasn't feeling like he was ready yet. He was a bit nervous. Nervous for several different reasons, unfortunately not as much because he didn't want it, but more because he didn't want give Itachi a bad, uncool impression of him, one that couldn't erase off Itachi's mind his sexual conduct the other day.

"The money of course." Sasuke replied, feeling his back meeting the wall as he took a nervous step behind.

"Hence I should assume you often offer your sexual services in exchange for money?"

"Of course not!" Sasuke blurted, but his brain activity had already frozen the minute he found Itachi's lips were so damn close yet so cruelly apart from his by less than an inch. He could feel his hot breath on his face, but even though the other remained stilled in his advances, restrained in their yet to be seen physical contact, Sasuke was already feeling uncomfortably –dangerously- _hard_. This wasn't good. If he didn't find a way to control his urges quickly, he would be making an even more shameless figure of himself the moment Itachi decides to touch him.

He needs to buy some time to soothe that erection off, and meanwhile try to make the image of one naked Orochimaru in his bath time to be the only imagine in his head while Itachi does his thing. He was there to win the bet. He could not afford to have uninvited erections because the man was merely _breathing_ on him. For god's sake, what was wrong with him?

"You didn't show me the rest of the house."

Itachi sighed, and took a step back. "I apologize for my rudeness. Please."

Sasuke followed him, as he guided him through the simplistic walls of a very stylish and modern apartment. For now, he was safe. Now, Orochimaru in a bath, naked, disgusting. Concentrate.

He would sometimes try to blurt out stupid uninteresting questions regarding Itachi's decoration tastes, just to keep him talking and to prolong the time they had before the action part. He didn't really listen to what he was saying, too busy trying to mentally prepare himself for what would follow, although he did hear the words "feng shui" and "Taoism" along the way.

"You do love your country's culture." Sasuke remarked, using a sarcastic tone of voice.

"I am indeed an appreciator of China's ancient heritage, if that is what you meant." Itachi replied, a bit too coldly for Sasuke's taste. "Japan is still my official homeland."

Sasuke merely 'hmf'-ed, opting not to go further in a way that could spice another cultural shock discussion. He wasn't feeling like pointing out the fact that Itachi seemed to have few to none items from the Japanese culture, unless you count the highly sophisticated technology that it didn't come certainly from China's doings and possibly some books in his shelves. Though it's not like Sasuke cared for the decorative value of lucky cats in shelves and katanas on walls, either way.

"I was told you won medals on swimming competitions when you were younger." Sasuke noted. "Where are they?"

"I don't think sports medals are that particularly interesting as decorative items, therefore I left them in my parents' house, who seem to appreciate them better than me."

It seemed that the more he knew about him, the odder Itachi seemed to Sasuke. Who does not take pride in his accomplishments? If Sasuke had ever won medals like that he would put them on display right in the living room for everyone to see. Unfortunately the only medal he had ever won was one that his psychologist gave him after he completed the therapy program, and that was not worthy of living room display. It was quite ugly, frankly.

"You don't even have pictures of your family or friends."

"I supposed I don't…"

Sasuke watched his eyelids lower in a melancholic manner, and suddenly, Itachi looked like a really lonely person to him. Was it possible that… he didn't have any friends? How could that be? He was successful, he came from a rich family and he was extremely good-looking, certainly a lot of people in this world would give up their left arm just to be near him. Well, not Sasuke of course, but judging by the way his own friends and college colleagues acted so hormonally around Itachi back in Neji's pool party, like bees around a honey pot, it was obvious Itachi didn't need to pull much effort in order to be loved.

Itachi discarded any attempt of justification for the reason why he didn't have any portraits in his house, and continued the tour. He showed him the bathroom and the guest room before going to the final division of the apartment, which Itachi obviously left to the end on propose.

"My bedroom." He said, as he opened the door. Sasuke's heart almost jerked out of his throat as he was reminded again the real reason why he was there.

He did notice, however, even with the hectic state of his nervous system, that there is no particular Chinese element in the bedroom, aside from the pertaining fact that this division should also obey to the fung shui system. It was also very simplistic, where black and beige were the dominant colors, and yet the only decoration on the wall seemed to be a colored picture in ukiyo-e style portrayed two mythical figures in a confrontational relationship, that Sasuke recognized to be the sibling deities Amatesaru and Susanoo.

"Now," Itachi had turned to him and dimpled slyly as he continued "do you have more pertinent questions regarding my choices of interior decoration, or shall we begin our matters?"

And this sentence has finally come to claim him. There was no escape from Itachi's pursuing lips now. He supposed there was no point in continuing to torture himself on why he took that stupid, oh so stupid bet, because it was too late. As he remained stilled, almost glued to the wall behind him, he focused on reviving that turn-off mental picture that in the past worked so well on preventing unwanted erections, though he wasn't quite sure if that will work now as he felt Itachi's breath again in his face, and his cavernous dark eyes behind semi-closed eyelids gazing his mouth in pure lust. Tense like a rock, he let the older male slowly touch his face, hesitant fingertips slowly trailing through his jawline and dropping on his neck, at the hem of his T-shirt's neckline, as the space between their standing bodies narrowed until pure teasing.

"You seem to be uncomfortable. Perhaps we should move onto the bed…?"

"No." Sasuke replied. He sure wasn't going to make it easy for Itachi. "The bet was that you can't give me pleasure under the same circumstances. We'll use the floor."

At least on the floor, he could let his mind be distracted with the discomfort of his bones against the hard wooden surface, hoping that will render climaxing a lot more difficult. Sai said so, one of the pain influencing factors in first time anal sex is the location.

"Fair enough."

He almost grimaced at Itachi's smirk. Clearly the man enjoyed his challenges. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke was bound to give his best to make this the hardest fuck he'll ever have and hopefully it won't take too much time before Itachi gives up and pays him the money he promised.

It caught him unguarded when Itachi's preying finger removed his T-shirt quickly and skillfully, tossing it on the floor, and Sasuke would've stumble back if it wasn't for the wall guarding his back. For a moment he shuddered, although he wasn't exactly sure if it was an automatic body reaction due to the sudden exposure of the room's temperature or because he suddenly found himself already half-naked before Itachi. The older of the two took barely a moment for pause or contemplation before he plunged into Sasuke's gangling lips, sucking them passionately as he opened room for some tongue interaction.

Itachi tasted of wine and peaches. Or a peach-scented wine. Sasuke gasped with the suddenness, but his body quickly reacted to the tongue invasion and eagerly reciprocated the act. There was no doubt in Sasuke's mind that he wanted this, that he had never ever felt his hormones so excited almost in a pre-pubescent manner before. The trick now was to deceive his own body that he did not want this, and he'dbe damned if he let sex take control of his ego.

Itachi had pushed his still clothed body against Sasuke's naked chest using one hand to tightly grab his nape through his hair, as if not wanting to let him go, while the other hand was pressed against his pectoral, slowly finding its way towards the nipple. And just like that Sasuke was forced to contain his first moan, while trying to keep his own body stilled, trying to fight the want of rubbing his arousal against Itachi's pants, trying to keep his hands from ripping the clothes off of Itachi's body and feel those naked muscles beneath his palms.

Damn it. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"You're making this harder for me, aren't you?" Itachi whispered between kisses and Sasuke felt his smirk against his lips. It seemed like they were tuned in the same frequency of thoughts. "Don't you want to…" he paused a bit, as he removed his mouth from the other's wet cavern, and let his eyes slide down to Sasuke's naked torso. "…remove my clothes?"

He did. Like, badly. Desperately. He wanted to see Itachi's glorious nakedness and jerk off to that sight. But he couldn't. He valued his pride and dignity much more.

"You can take them off by yourself." He tried to hide the moan that was about to escape from his lips, but he could no longer fake the deep tone of arousal in his voice.

Itachi uttered no response as he immediately complied and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. Sasuke's gawky stare was trapped in that dawdling button-by-button sequence like an agape mouse in a cheese factory.

God, did he have to do it that slowly? It's like the more he denied their physical contact the more frustrated he would get.

Finally, Itachi tossed his shirt on the floor and now was moving to the pants. With a sigh of frustration, Sasuke stepped in and hastily slid his hand on the hem of Itachi's pants, deciding to forward the process of undressing by removing the man's pants himself and pulling them down in a nonchalant fashion.

"There. You don't need to make it look like we're in a porno movie."

Sasuke noticed Itachi had the same type of boxers he had, the short tight black ones. Not that it mattered anyway.

"I forgot the screeching fake-sounds for a musical background." Itachi said jokingly, not seeming at all bothered by standing almost naked in front of him. He kicked his pants to the side and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, and slowly –somewhat timidly- he pulled his hand closer to the hem of his boxers.

Sasuke gulped. His eyes were fixed on the bulky form in Itachi's tight black boxers. He shouldn't be ogling at that like that, because he should not be focused on anything else other than turn-off images, yet he couldn't help it. He had never touched another person's penis, and Itachi was slowly bringing his hand closer to his clothed manhood, while Sasuke felt no willpower to remove it. He supposed he was curious…it's not like there was anyone there to witness him touch another man's private parts, so it wouldn't harm him to know what it felt like.

So he let the tip of his fingers shyly feel the bulky contours of the fabric, and then he pressed his hand harder against the crotch, until his hand was freely massaging the full of it. He heard Itachi moaning, very faintly, as he removed his loosened hand from Sasuke's wrist and with the help of the other hand started unfastening the belt in Sasuke's pants. Secretly deciding that he wanted to hear more from Itachi, Sasuke pulled his boxers down and fully grabbed the erection, massaging it slowly with a firm grip.

It wasn't that bad. He was actually enjoying doing it. He could hear Itachi's breathing progressively changing from calm and collected to an erratic state. Sasuke was also feeling himself harden with that activity, but at least he felt like he was in control of the game this time.

That is, until he felt Itachi's hand touching his. He involuntarily jerked his hips back as he hadn't realized how hard he actually was and almost panicked at the thought of coming now even before the actual action started. This wasn't good. He didn't even notice Itachi unzipping his own pants and sliding a hand inside his boxers, so concentrated on the task of masturbating him as he was. If he was already reacting like this even when Itachi had barely started, he would not be able to survive longer than five seconds again.

"No touching." Sasuke growled, brusquely snapping Itachi's hand off of his private organs. "You think I'll let you just jerk me off? That'd be too easy."

Itachi eyed him with a low sympathetic frown, merely nodding: "Fine. But this will be your final rule."

What that said, he roughly pulled the rest of Sasuke's garments off, leaving the boy completely naked before him. He proceeded in removing his own boxers too, and then with an impavid face he uttered: "Lay on the floor. Or do you want me to simulate a graceless fall too as to mimic the exact occurrences of the other day?"

Sasuke grunted a wordless sound but complied with his demands and crouched to sit on the floor. Even with the coldness of the ground, he wasn't pleased to know that his erection didn't seem to wear off the least bit. In the meanwhile, Itachi went to his bedside table to remove a condom and a suspicious tube from the drawer, to which Sasuke protested again once he took a closer look at it.

"Are you kidding me? No lube."

Itachi stared at him somewhat incredulous at his remark.

"It will most probably be quite painful otherwise."

"I didn't use lube with you. That's cheating."

Sasuke might have been inwardly aware that he was acting like a stubborn child that wanted to take a roller coaster ride before being tall enough to fit on the security seat system, but right now, he'd rather end up with a bleeding anus than losing a bet. There is treatment for a bleeding anus – there was no treatment for a broken ego.

"Sasuke, you didn't exactly hurt me nearly as must as you probably think when you penetrated me."

Sasuke grimaced. Really, Itachi should stop saying the word 'penetrate'. It just sounded weird coming from him.

"Reason is because I'm more experienced in matters of anal sex than… well, you are. Being your first time, it's highly advisable that you-"

"No lube." Sasuke cut his speech sharply. "That's my final rule."

Itachi sighed, casting him a condescending glare as he gave up on the Vaseline tube. He let the condom package drop on the floor. He lowered over Sasuke's awaiting body and pushed down to the floor, as he made himself comfortable against the other's erection. Sasuke gritted his teeth, muffling the sound of another moan, yet granted access for Itachi's inviting tongue inside his mouth. This time, tired of forcing himself to be the stubborn passive, he participated, hungrily licking inside Itachi's mouth in a fizzling tongue dance.

He could feel himself getting more aroused, but he adjusted his position on the floor to a more uncomfortable one, pleased to find a painful spot against his tailbone. It was then that Itachi left his mouth and his tongue started trailing down his torso, sucking and nibbling along the way. Sasuke jerked his head backwards as he felt the older moving down on him, and his hands would passionately roam through his pelvis, groping his inner thighs and his ass, yet denying touch to his shamelessly engrossed member.

Oh God, he wanted so badly Itachi's hands and mouth and everything on it. He wanted, just for a moment, to forget that he ever betted on anything and could just feel him all. It was starting to get difficult to concentrate on the gross images he had previously prepared for his mind as he couldn't turn off his senses from Itachi's smell, his touch, his arousing body, his cock…

He felt his tongue touching his member. Oh no, no, no. The way he was, he would come in a second. He jerked his body and grunted, his voice already hoarse with the combustion of sensations his body had experienced:

"I said-aah!... no touching there!" He stopped, trying to get his mind straight and control his erratic moaning. "No blowjobs."

Why was he feeling like he was such an inexperienced kid? He had received many blowjobs before. And he didn't even orgasm in all of them. Itachi hadn't even started and he already felt like he could burst like a champagne cork and spill liquid all over the place.

"You are pretty difficult to negotiate with." Itachi said, not seeming very pleased with Sasuke's whims. His head next to his erected member – such a lovely picture. God, this was going to be extremely hard.

"Just fucking do it." Sasuke grumbled. "The penetration, I mean."

Now he was sounding like Itachi.

Itachi sighed, and a breeze of hot air tingled through his penis. He knew by now what would be his masturbation fantasies for the rest of the semester.

"Yet you can't extend your no-touching rule to the rest of your body parts." Itachi said.

'_Please, don't talk near my cock.' _Sasuke's face twisted, and he really wanted to say anything to make Itachi move so he would stop sound-vibrating his penis but he was too busy containing the erotic sounds coming from his throat.

"…Since you refused lubrication." Itachi had said something else, but he only caught the last part. And without warning, he grabbed Sasuke by his hips and flipped him over so he was now facing the floor. With his hands, he took the boy's buttocks and parted them aside, stretching his rectal entrance. And then,

-a very wet muscle. There was a very wet muscle in his rear hole.

What. The. Fuck. was he doing? Was that his tongue inside his anus that he was feeling? Sasuke didn't know if he should feel confused, disgusted or even pleased, because it was nice now that he had his erection away from Itachi's head and the coldness of the floor nicely soothed his desperation to climax. But that kinky shit Itachi was doing to him didn't look hygienic at all. He sure wasn't going to kiss him after-

"Aah!"

His body jerked involuntarily and he slammed his palms on the floor when he felt an extra moistened finger rubbing inside. Holy fuck thatwassofuckinggood-

"Aa…fuck!"

Oh boy he was out of control again. If he knew that felt so fucking amazing, he would've asked Sakura to do it to him a long time ago. Although he wasn't exactly sure she would agree to that.

"Enough! Stop playing around and do it already!" He screamed, and moaned again, as his mind was going ballistic with all the pleasure he never knew existed before.

He wasn't sure if his request was out of fear of losing that bet too soon, or because he had a sudden urge for something bigger than a tongue and a finger inside his rear hole, but for what it counts, let's just stay with the first premise. He needed the pain. To stay focused. He was not going to lose the fucking bet. Hell no.

Fortunately, Itachi didn't make him wait this time. He stopped to pick up the package he had left on the floor, and, tearing the plastic container with his teeth, he removed a condom from the inside and quickly wrapped it around his member. Soon Sasuke was feeling Itachi positioning himself against his hole, and the process began.

He felt the stretching. It didn't hurt him as much as he thought it would. He forgot condoms come with a bit of lubrication. Frustrated, Sasuke bucked his hips to search for more pain yet a firm hand kept him down and stilled.

"Patience, Sasuke."

"I wasn't _that _slow with you." He complained.

"Fortunately, we are not doing things in your way."

He wanted to complain more, but he figured it was best to stay lying down and wait. With luck Itachi would be so slow that his erection would fall asleep.

But then he felt him entering. And he felt the pain. Finally. The pain. The very uncomfortable, scratching-burning feeling inside his ass hole that was now turning him off. He clenched his teeth to endure the torture, but couldn't hide the smirk on his curled lip. He had it. He was going to win this. Just as he figured, no normal man gets off with a penis inside his rectum. They were just not anatomically made for that, considering you always need a synthetic lubrication in order for that work, so it's just not natural.

"You're too tense." He heard Itachi saying. His voice was low and husky. "Try to relax." He felt his hair dancing over his back, as he chilled against the soft kisses he was placing along his spinal cord.

'_You wish.'_ He wasn't going to relax. He made sure he wasn't letting his body relax, because he needed the pain to stay focused on his goal.

He felt Itachi starting to move inside him. Yep, it was still very painful. The agonizing stretching of his hole, the burning; it was still very intense. Good. He can take it. He had handled a lot worse in his life – between having three broken ribs and Tenten twisting his balls, he still didn't know what was worse, but the pain was certainly worse than this.

Now he just had to endure the pain and wait for Itachi to orgasm, and then he could claim the money-

Oh shit. Itachi had readjusted his position and now was not that painful. In fact, the pain was begging to go disappear, slowly. And worse – he felt a tingling. A pleasurable tingling. If such a thing exists.

And now as he felt the other accelerating his pace, there was this sudden twinge of pleasure and his body reacted to it. This wasn't good. I mean, it felt good – really good – and that was the problem. As Itachi hastened his pace and stabilized his rhythm with strong, hard back-and-forth movements, the pleasure took over the pain and grew exponentially in a crescendo of sensations before Sasuke had time to recapitulate the process. He no longer felt the pain, just the pure bliss of a member rubbing hard against his prostate and his rectum's walls. And oh fuck – he was moaning already. He couldn't stop his moans. And he could hear Itachi moaning too. That was too much.

Just when he thought he was about to come and could do nothing about it, Itachi stopped. Brusquely, cruelly, without warning, he stopped. Dazzled and confused, Sasuke first thought he finally came, though he didn't feel anything spouting inside him. An arm slipped through the space between his stomach and the floor, and lifted him over and Itachi gathered himself on his knees. Sasuke knew that position. Doggy-style. Just never tried it before in the reverse way.

Itachi remained stilled for a while, before he began the back and forth rhythm again. Sasuke was still very aroused, but lost the nearing climax now. However, it didn't take a minute for him to feel the pleasure building up again, and semi-horrified, he found that embarrassing position to be a lot more arousing than the previous one. He closed his eyes firmly, feverously trying to bring back the imagined naked bodies of Orochimaru, Herpes Face – heck, even Asuma, Kurenai, Asuma's wrinkled dad, the whole family naked – to his mind, but that wasn't working anymore. Itachi's overwhelming presence over him and inside him was just too much for him to handle. He couldn't even bring himself to mute his now very soundly moans.

And just as he was about to come for a second time –goddamn it he was this close!– Itachi stopped. Again. Sasuke's head almost exploded. He felt him take his member out and his hands grabbing his waist to turn him around, and his vulnerable body fell ungraciously on the floor on his back. He wasn't hurt, yet now he was facing Itachi again, finding his hair to be completely messed up, his eyes foggy and his mouth slightly opened savoring the moment in pure satisfaction; sweat drops trailing through the defined muscles of his body. And in that moment, he looked like the most gorgeous being he had ever seen in life. The most beautiful, arousing…and sadistic one.

What the fuck was Itachi doing, trying all the kama-sutra positions while the sun sets down? It was _torture._ He would always stop right when Sasuke was about to climax as if he knew exactly when. Sasuke didn't have time for that tantric crap, that shit about prolonging the sex. Of course that by doing that, the pleasure would constantly build up and become even more intense, but that only made him fear that by the time he finally comes he would be feeling like a shaken soda can about to explode and jerk all its liquid everywhere once it's finally opened, with foam and all.

Itachi had grabbed his thighs and pulled him up as he plunged into him again, this time harder, and more roughly. The pleasure-meter skyrocketed. Sasuke had stopped caring about the bet a long time ago, for when he realized the man was about to stop hard fucking him for the third time, he jerked his body forward with the help of an elbow and threw an angry hand around Itachi's throat abruptly, squeezing the fingers around his neck.

"If you stop again I'll kill you." He breathed heavily, trying to cast a threatening glare. Goddamn he just wanted to come.

The other merely smirked, and started rocking his hips harder against Sasuke, yet let the hand tighten around his neck. It only took a few seconds now for Sasuke to finally feel all his body tensing up and combust into possibly the most powerful orgasm he had ever had. His hand fell flat and soundly on the floor, his legs dropped lifeless and for a moment, he actually thought he was going to pass out. He hardly felt the warm liquid ejecting inside him, and his lover for the night laying over him, breathing as intensely as he was.

All of a sudden, he saw the world differently. Galaxies of shining stars and cupids darting arrows were going in his eyes. When his blood pressure came back to normality, Itachi caught his lips in a tender and long kiss, and Sasuke replied with eagerness, not even dreaming of letting that moment go. They may have stayed like that for some good minutes, and if anything remotely significant passed through Sasuke's head during this period of pure bliss it was perhaps if the conflicts between Palestine and Israel couldn't be solved with some good anal sex treaty.

"I love you."

**::**

**::**

(1) Shabu = Type of methamphetamine common in Japan and Philippines


	13. Oh the Drama!

**a/n: **Happy Christmas my beloved readers :)

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**::**

**::**

"I love you."

She had heard it so many times.

Many times she had heard it from different boys and men; few times she had heard it from the only one stole her heart. Her mother, one that never wished any less than a well-bred Chinese salary man to wed her daughter, kept telling her he was nothing but chin music to the ears. But she knew he was a hard worker, passionate about building an empire around his name and leaving a footprint in the world. It was the crazy 1980s, and there was no such thing as a dream too big for the dreamer – everything was possible.

And he was so gorgeous. She never saw the point of her being a whole package – good looking, virgin and excellent with house chores – if she couldn't even marry a prince.

The first time he said "I love you," she got pregnant. They married quickly, before the pregnancy had time to be detectable before the scrutinizing eyes of their families. It broke her heart when her parents refused to attend to the wedding, but when they saw the innocent baby face of their grandson, she knew they regretted their early rejection. Such a good-looking and healthy baby. A boy, on top of that. It was the first time she saw her father so emotive, so visibly happy. Mother was reconsidering her initial opinion on Fugaku. It was the happiest moment of her life: she had a beautiful son, a beautiful husband and the approval of her parents.

But then he grew distant. It was as if, when he finally found himself with her parents' approval and an heir, it wasn't worth the trouble of romance anymore. He was ambitious, he wanted to make a lot of money; she was a hopeless romantic, she wanted to receive a lot of love. As she started spending Saturday nights in the discotheque, trying to find affection here and there; he invested their savings on risky affairs that resulted in catastrophe(1).

The second time he said "I love you", he had just been given a job by her uncle in China. She agreed to move with him to the borders of Beijing, leave her friends and her parents in Japan. Because Fugaku had lost their savings, they had to share their first years in China in the same living space of her relatives, in one of the millions of standardized building blocks that emerged after the cultural revolution. He didn't seem to regret the fact he was the cause they lost all their money and now because of it, they were stuck with her relatives, with no privacy whatsoever, in a foreign land. Yes, she was Chinese, but didn't know Beijing as she knew Kyoto or Tokyo. The residues of the communist ideals never meant that much to her, not even when her parents remembered with a proud smile their admiration for Premier Zhou and Chairman Mao. Well, at least Visa credit card had found its way into Mainland China by the time she got there.

The third time he said "I love you"… it was the worst day of her life.

Her relatives vehemently disapproved her second pregnancy, especially when Fugaku was slowly cementing his way to success in China. The only one excited with the idea of having a sibling was her four year old son, but the poor boy was too small and innocent to have a say on the matter. He did not fully understand the consequences of raising a second child in that country. The fines were too high (2). Their future could be compromised. She did not have the strength to deal with it alone. She just wanted everything to go back to normal.

But they never did.

The third time he said "I love you," she had just told him: "I lost him."

**:: ::**

"I love you."

The world could as well be nearing its end, and a stranger riding a black horse could break into the bedroom ushering apocalypse with an army of zombies behind and he wouldn't have been more horrified than he was now. Life would be so much simpler if everything was just a movie, and that he could cut off and burn those damned frames and glue the ends together – as if nothing had ever happened, and he hadn't said the stupidest thing he could ever say.

It was during these situations Sasuke wondered if he didn't have a hidden personality inside him. Someone else living inside his brain that made him blurt all the stupid things he said whenever he was with Itachi. Heck, maybe he didn't even exist. Maybe, next week, he'll find out after all that Sarutobi Sasuke is a character that only existed inside the mind of a teenage girl named Hikari or Yuki, with multiple personality disorder and a huge crush on Uchiha Itachi. Because right now, that was the best explanation he had for what he said.

Perhaps the worst was not exactly what he said, without thinking, as a result of a moment of bliss after a powerful orgasm. Perhaps the worst was realizing the face that Itachi made, of indescribable surprise (or it was just utter shock), as if Sasuke had just revealed that he was pregnant and that he was a product of nazi experiments. Hadn't his orgasm-induced confession caused such a reaction, perhaps Sasuke wouldn't try to clumsily explain himself, his mouth uncontrollably shooting an array of more stupid things to say all the while disregarding basic speech construction, like "No no I don't love you it wasn't meant to say to you I mean I wasn't thinking about you I mean I wasn't even thinking at all!" He had grabbed his clothes quickly, dressing up at the speed of light and running out of the apartment and down through the building stairs, not even waiting for the elevator, in a Clark Kent hurry to hide in a telephone cabin. If it wasn't for the fact that they were on the last floor, he would've jumped the window instead.

Now he was safe and sound between the four walls of his way smaller and modest bedroom, far from Itachi's house; but that shameful scene kept torturing his head.

How could he be so thoughtless, so stupid? Those words didn't even make any sense to him. The only time Sasuke said "I love you" to anyone was when Sakura was in those hyper-irritation moments and there was no other way to shut her up. And even so he didn't really know what those three words meant. He never figured out what his feelings were for Sakura. They say love is a form of friendship with sex, but even if he had both with Sakura, he still didn't know what it felt like to love someone like in the movies, where Romeo serenades out of tune under the rain and hopes that Juliet opens the window, preferably wearing a thin night-gown without a bra. Or when Romeo is capable of dying for her. It seemed to him love was just a foolish hyperbole to describe a state of temporary insanity that would be solved otherwise with medication. He never felt insane enough to jump over a bridge out of love, whatever that is. It was like this 'love' thing everyone is talking about was just an urban myth that only few people have ever seen or experienced.

For these and other reasons Sasuke couldn't understand the chemical reactions exploding inside his body that made him say what he said. He didn't even think, those words came out of his mouth just as natural as carbon dioxide. After spending the night sleepless, fighting restless thoughts and the haunting memoir of Itachi's facial expression, -oh the dying need to know, what was he thinking; he rose from his bed before the sun had risen from the horizon, and remained sat against the bed's head watching time slowly fighting its way to move the clock hands. He heard Asuma and Kurenai walking around the house eating breakfast and organizing their things before they left. One of them seemed to have halted by his room door, as if hesitating in knocking, but quickly Sasuke heard steps moving away and by 7:30 AM Asuma and Kurenai had left the house to work – or to have a cup of tea with glamorous strangers, whichever 40 year old un-employees do these days. He waited a bit longer; once he thought it was a good time for a top criminal lawyer to be at work, he stepped out of his room, picked up the phone and dialed the number. He had it memorized as it was one of those easy-to-remember numbers, like ordering pizza.

He had to talk to Itachi. Even if he had nothing special to say, he had to make sure everything between them remained normal and that what he said last night did not affect their relationship – not that they had any relationship in a serious sense, but Sasuke had gladly settled for their non-committed kind-of-secret sexual relations. If they both could just forget what happened…that would be great.

It was the same girl from the previous day that answered, commenting that she didn't forget him and that she was going to pass the call. But this time, it didn't even take one minute before she came back to the line, saying:

"I'm sorry, but is unavailable right now. Do you want to leave a message?"

He wouldn't deny he felt disappointed hearing her voice again and not Itachi's, but he figured he could wait a couple more hours.

"I prefer to call again later. When would be the best time?"

"Well… will be unavailable all day long."

He sighed. Probably Itachi was out at some importing meeting, or maybe conducting a trial. He wouldn't simply deny his call, would he?

"Fine. I'll call tomorrow."

"Sir, I don't think tomorrow will be any good. You should leave a message."

He would. And for the first time in his life, Sasuke actually felt the world stop for fifteen seconds.

He wasn't dumb; he realized what was happening. Of course. Itachi didn't want to pick up his calls. He was preparing to cut off all communication with him. Clearly he freaked out with Sasuke's dumb confession and now wanted to pretend that nothing happened between them. Either that or… Itachi just got what he was after and decided to move on to something else?

Come to think of it, Itachi never gave him his phone or cell phone number. And if Sasuke hadn't been so blind in lust, he would've picked up the signals sooner. After all, he did the same with girls in his past that had fallen in love with him when he was just looking for sex. If you want to get laid, but avoid the whole after-sex drama of your partner developing an emotional attachment to you because you have enough drama in your life already, you don't give your phone number. And if somehow she finds out your phone number because Naruto needs some insulating tape on his big mouth, you simply ignore the calls and eventually, she will give up and move on. The irony is that, although he had done this many times, Sasuke never thought that one day he would know what it feels like to be in the reverse position.

He didn't think he was in love with Itachi. That would be a bit far-fetched, even for your average third-rate novelist. A couple of months ago he was a proud straight guy and now all of a sudden this guy comes in and messes with his nervous system? Problem was, he was no longer able to figure out what was going on inside his body. He had given up on this never-ending battle against his feelings for him, and he was left with little strength to fight the anxiety to see him again. And if the only thing he wanted was to say to Itachi was that no, he didn't mean what he said, he was no love-sick moron for him, truth is he no longer had the energy to pretend that he did not care about the suffocating tightening in his heart that such rejection caused him. Sometimes it felt like he spent an eternity fighting something he didn't quite understand, and now that he finally put down his weapons, that thing struck back in the most unpredictable and cruelest way that he could ever imagine.

Maybe it was due to this whole thing with Itachi happening right when Orochimaru had reappeared in Kyoto, and he had never learned well how to deal with multiple strong emotions at the same time. He found himself completely lost in that matter. Kurenai had left the windows opened in the morning to ventilate the house, but not even the icy cold that announced a rigorous winter was felt on his bare feet; it was as if he was trapped in an internal battlefield where emotions exploded like trap mines and his outer senses were failing into numbness. He didn't even notice how much time he remained in the same position, but when Kurenai arrived home and saw him stilled, on the floor next to the telephone, stuck in a semi-apathetic frozen state of awareness, her suitcase dropped soundly on the floor.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I'm going to school." It was an automatic response, after her voice had abruptly pulled him back to reality. He slowly stood up, painfully, almost as if his entire blood system had frozen inside his body and he could barely hold the weight.

"Sasuke, it's noon already. You missed your morning classes? And what are you doing dressed like that, it's so cold in here! Why arethe windows still open? Why didn't you turn on the heating?"

She was frenetically walking around the house closing all the windows, and after certifying that all external air sources were firmly shut, she turned on themax the radiator and went to look for the old oil heater, which she dragged to the center of the living room. Although it will take at least half an hour before he could start feeling the heat; those old devices may not save a soul dying out of cold in the Sahara desert, but they were still their main source of heat.

Sasuke stood stagnant in the half-way between the living room and his bedroom, and before he had time to advance further, Kurenai caught him and wrapped him in a huge blanket and pulled him to the couch, forcing him to seat in front of the heater.

"Oh dear you're so cold!" She whimpered, rubbing his arms over the blanket, so feverously he had to halt her and note her that he was still psychically capable of warming himself.

Shiva, who had probably been sleeping through all this time and was unfairly awoken by loud humans' affairs, joined them in the living room and leaned her fat body against the heater, hoping to absorb all the upcoming heat into herself.

"Is this about Orochimaru?" She asked. "I talked to the prosecutor; she told me you don't want to testify. You know you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but you know you'll have our fullest support and-"

"It's not about Orochimaru." Sasuke mumbled, letting himself bury inside the warmth of the blanket. He hadn't realized how cold he was until now. He tried to prop his frozen feet against the heater over the cat's body, but she deflected and skirted the heater for a more peaceful and warmer spot. _'Selfish animal.'_ He grunted. Sometimes he preferred dogs to cats.

"Did you have a discussion with Naruto?" Kurenai kept asking. She would keep asking until she got a satisfying answer, much to his annoyance. But he only gave her a dull glance "as if," without even bothering to reply to such an absurd question. He had arguments with the idiot every month, and that was not certainly what made his feet frozen.

"Yes, I didn't think you'd cry over that too…"

"I'm not crying!" He snorted, visibly annoyed now. He wasn't crying. He felt his eyes swollen but his whole body was swollen due to the cold, he wasn't crying.

"Is this perhaps… a love problem?"

She was being delicate in the way she phrased her question. Had it been Asuma, he would say something like "It's about a girl right? Confess it's about a girl." To Asuma, 99 percent of a man's problems can be summarized to the opposite sex. Kurenai, on the other hand, never questioned him about his romantic or sexual life, except only one time, about three years ago, when she asked him why he never offered anything to anyone on White Day (3), considering that he received so many chocolates on Valentine's Day. The only response she got from him was "Mind your own business." Back then their relationship was still bitter, and Kurenai had always been very reticent in her approaches. Every now and then she would vent her frustrations by complaining that they didn't have enough room in the pantry to store all the chocolates he received, although Asuma would end up eating them all in a week and solve the problem. In fact, the reason why Sasuke wouldn't throw away all those sugary tablets was because of Asuma, the biggest appreciator of Sasuke's Valentine's Day.

But he had noticed, lately, that Kurenai was growing softer and more concerned. More…motherly. A lot more motherly, as strange as it sounds. She had even removed that creepy echography of her lost fetus from the corner-table, replacing it with Sasuke's graduation scroll where there is a note attesting him as the top student of his high school. And next to it there was that medal he received from his therapy, which was rather embarrassing. He had tried, begging her to hide it at least during the moments they had guests in the house, but to no avail; she'd always reply that he shouldn't be ashamed of his achievements, and that one day he'd too look at that medal with nothing but pride. He seriously doubted that.

"Don't you have work? What are you doing home?" He retorted, trying to change the subject.

"The plumber will come over after lunch, to fix that smell problem we've been having in the bathroom. Someone needs to be here, and Asuma said he couldn't manage, so I came. Though I didn't know you were here, I thought you had classes…"

"Asuma told you that? He's been _awfully _busy for someone who is unemployed." He didn't mean to sound that bitter, but in his current depressive state he no longer had control over his tone of voice.

"Don't be so harsh on him Sasuke. He's trying hard to get this new job he was offered."

"New job?"

Come to think about it, he vaguely remembered Asuma mentioning something about a new job. He didn't remember when it was. Regardless, it still didn't explain his random encounter with a glamorous stranger during working hours.

"Well… I'm not exactly sure how it was, because he didn't explain it tome well. It's something about human recourses managing. He was given an experimentation period and if they like him, they hire him."

Sasuke frowned, feeling suddenly irritated at Kurenai, without knowing why. "That sounds very excuse-ish."

He should keep his mouth shut. He really should _keep his mouth shut._

"Why do you say that?"

But damned, he was just so irritated! Irritated at Itachi for having rejected his call, irritated with the Ministry of Justice for appointing an inexperienced girl to prosecute the beast of Orochimaru, irritated at his cat for rejecting his need for warmth; irritated with that house for not having a decent heater. He was irritated at the world and the only thing he wanted was to break someone's teeth, but he couldn't, because of that stupid medal. Someone ought to be the punching bag for the tempestuous emotions he desperately needed to release and Kurenai was simply geographically closer.

"Are you that_ blind_? Don't you see Asuma is just making excuses to spend his days drinking tea with some fucking mistress with enough money to buy a fucking decent heater?"

He wasn't making any sense, but it doesn't matter. Emotions are not supposed to be logical.

Her eyes widened in blunt surprise, clearly never having expected in all her life to ever to see Sasuke reacting like that.

"Are you talking about Mrs. Uchiha?"

"Mrs. Uchiha?"

Why does that name suddenly seem to follow him everywhere?

"Asuma told me he got this purposely from the wife of that man, Uchiha Fugaku. You know, the owner of that big lawyer company."

What? The woman Asuma was seeing was Itachi's _mother_? Oh this is fucking great. 2.6 million people in Kyoto Prefecture, and Asuma just had to be drinking tea with Itachi's fucking mother. There were more people living in the city area alone than in an entire European country called Luxemburg, but Asuma still had to be drinking his fucking tea with Itachi's mother. In his favorite_ kisaten_. If religious people are right and this is truly the work of a deity, then this deity is a pretty lousy scriptwriter.

"When did you see the two of them together? I was under the impression that he only met her when-"

"Nevermind," he quickly interrupted her, not wishing to prolong this discussion further "I probably made a confusion of it."

He had learned in his life experience of living with a couple of two passionate adults that some things should be better left in bain-marie, and hope that the water doesn't reach the boiling point. As angry as he was with the world, he also had no desire to witness again another quarrel with those two, as the last time they quarreled it had turned into a huge soap-novel style drama and constant headaches –with Asuma using the pretext of home repairs as a way to vent his frustrations. They ended up spending a ridiculous amount of money paying a professional to wire back their house after he had completely screwed up with the electric system. Most likely, this whole thing with Asuma and Itachi's mother was just a misunderstanding and Sasuke shouldn't be making a big deal out of it.

But Kurenai was now looking mistrustful. Her brows were drawn together and her chin wrinkled as her mouth twisted, in that obvious way women express themselves when they say nothing is going on but you know it's a lie. Quietly, Sasuke decided it was wise not to open his mouth further on and leave his place to go to his room and dress himself for afternoon classes, leaving her alone in the room with whatever was going on inside her mind. When he returned to the living room to resume his exit, he glanced at her and noticed how she remained in the same position, with a frown, and looking seriously pensive.

Asuma would say, when you see a strong and intelligent adult woman thinking like that, something is about to storm in some place on the Earth. And some man somewhere on Earth will be in deep, deep shit.

**:: ::**

"I truly appreciate your kindness, Mr. Uchiha, but I still don't understand why you think I'm fit for this job. I mean, it's not exactly my specialty…"

Uchiha Fugaku was truly an impressive man. Just to think he had built this huge corporation just out of scratch is something noteworthy. Asuma still felt somewhat like a kid with a golden ticket in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory – although if this was truly a chocolate factory and not a lawyer factory it would be way better, but that's just a minor detail. If the Uchiha&Son Kyoto building was already this magnificent, he could only wonder what their main base in Tokyo was like.

"I had many so-called human recourses 'experts' in the past and I still had to fire them." Fugaku said. He talked like he was born to be everyone else and their mothers' superior, pumped-chest and lifted chin. He needed his chin lifted though, because Asuma was quite taller than him. "But Mikoto said you had an innate sense for good judgment. Let's hope she's right."

He could tell right way that Fugaku was still not ready to place confidence in his wife's opinion, but just the fact that he was willing to give him an opportunity to prove his worth showed a lot of character. The memoirs Asuma still conserved from his adolescence didn't give him justice. Truthfully, Asuma didn't store any dignifying memoir of Fugaku, but he was willing to admit that he had been biased; after all, we are talking about an almost forgotten time when he was crushing on the mysterious, older girl that used to go by the name of Xing-Juan, controversially happening to be Fugaku's girlfriend, and as a misguided and emotional teenager as he was supposed to be, he didn't see his competition in good eyes.

Strangely (or maybe not) Fugaku didn't seem to have any memoir of him, nothing in his speech ever implying that they have once met and briefly talked in the past. In fact, Fugaku seemed to have the impression that his wife just randomly met Asuma the other day and out of the blue exchanged some words. Apparently Mikoto didn't make any kind of mention to the past to her husband, not even toenlighten him who Asuma was and why she knew him. Although he didn't understand why she would omit such an innocent detail - because really, it's not like anything happened between them - he felt that he was in no place to question the woman's decision.

"We are receiving candidates for a job position at the Family Attorneys department. I want you to monitor how the interviews are being conducted and report your impressions to me."

Surveying a job interviewer for family attorneys… that's it? It doesn't sound like a difficult thing to do, although he had little idea on what criteria should he follow in monitoring interviews.

"You want me to see if your employee is conducting the interviews right?" Asuma asked, apprehensively.

"Yes." He nodded. "And… I also want you to write an independent and private report on your opinions of the best candidates for the interviewed job. Keep it in mind that your opinions shall only be reported to me and you are not allowed to discuss this with anyone here in this building."

Best candidates? How would he know what it takes to be a good candidate for that type of job? Although he had attended Law school in Sweden, before he switched to Sociology and moved back to Japan, he never worked in either of these fields through his professional life. His professional experience resumed to a furniture factory that went bankrupt this year, which is not good to anyone's resumée. I mean, he had an idea of what it might take to be a good candidate for a lawyer position – good grades, good talk and good heart, perhaps? Good heart might not be entirely required for being a good lawyer, truthfully, but if he knew beforehand what Fugaku was looking for in his employees that would make his job easier.

"I'm sure you'll do fine." Mikoto said, standing next to her husband with a smile on her face. "We just need someone that is not..." she paused for a moment, as if she was trying to remember a difficult word that better fit her idea. "…how should I say…we need someone that is not entirely… well…"

"Biased?"

Asuma was startled by an unfamiliar voice coming from behind and he turned around to see who it was. A good looking young man was stepping into Uchiha Fugaku's office without even bothering to knock first. Although very well dressed, like the rest of the top employees in that building, he was not hiding the somewhat impolite smirk that he donned on his face.

"Or should I say, someone that did not have to accomplish his degree in the besmirched private education system as oppose to what happens with 98 percent of our employees?"

"Itachi…" Fugaku sighed, rolling his eyes as a reaction to the boy's comment. It took Mikoto, with all her well-bred delicacy and her contagious innocent joy to cut through the intense atmosphere that had momentarily installed in the room and introduce the stranger:

"I believe you haven't yet met our son, Itachi!" She said, with a very proud smile on her face. "Itachi, this is Sarutobi Asuma. If everything works well, he'll be working here!"

My god, she couldn't sound more excited than she already was. It even looked like she had taken something before the meeting. Asuma amused himself in finding the resembling traits between Mikoto and her son, but he would say there were a lot more from Fugaku in the inherited genes, especially in the extremely confident and vain aura that seemed to naturally ooze from the Uchiha men. It was funny how time passes by so quickly. Last time he saw her son he was just a small little thing that barely reached his knee, and now the boy had grown taller than his father.

"It is my pleasure to finally meet you!" Asuma bowed in humble courtesy, before adding: "By Jove, you have grown into quite a man since thelast time I saw you!"

Only the second after he said that didhe realize he _shouldn't have said that._ Mikoto looked appalled, her smile had disappeared and she seemed distressed with his comment. Obviously, she hadn't told absolutely anything to Fugaku, and she did not pretend to either, even though Asuma couldn't understand why it would matter for her to conceal such a detail. Fugaku and Itachi raised an eyebrow at the same time, eyeing Asuma with the same impressionably impassive expression that any doubt of consanguinity would disappear before such a picture.

"Er- I mean, when I met your mother she showed me a picture of yours that apparently wasn't the most updated one…" He said embarrassingly, inwardly praising himself for being able to find a suitable although doltish excuse in time. He didn't want to cause any trouble to Mikoto. He may not understand why she would omit such an innocent detail, but that was her business, not his.

"Moving on," Fugaku cleared his throat, fortunately not paying mind to that brief moment of awkwardness. "It's true that we've been having some troubles with some of our employees here, and perhaps that's why we could use a pair of eyes that… come from a different background than ours, to give us a new perspective."

He could as well replace the word "background" for "public education" or "middle class," that wouldn't, in the slightest, change the meaning behind that phrase. But Asuma was not in a position to criticize. Right now his family needed him, and they were already resorting to their emergency savings fund to pay for all their expenses. He would do anything to keep this job – any job at all.

A ringing cell phone led Fugaku to interrupt the session and answer it outside, mumbling a smooth "Excuse me" before he left his wife and son alone with Asuma. Mikoto took the opportunity to talk about the thing she liked to talk the most – not business or biased employees – but how great and perfect her son was.

"Itachi is the most requested lawyer here." She said, donning the typical smile of a very proud mother. "He's truly making us proud. Although he decided to take his doctorate at the Kyoto University instead of a private-"

"Oh, the Kyoto University? That's where my son is." He interjected. He knew he was being a bit rude interrupting the woman, but he was getting a bit tired of hearing her yet again rambling about her son. Of course every good woman has the right to be proud of her offspring, but he was feeling that she never gave him the chance to talk about his own son. He also had a son to be proud of! And he wasn't trying to turn that into a competition or something, but she could be a bit less…ah, he doesn't know the right word.

"Really?" Itachi, however, seemed suddenly interested in what Asuma had to say, which made him happy. Mikoto remained quiet, her smile narrowing to a simple polite expression. Again, not seeming devotedly interested in any topic of conversation that wasn't about her son.

"He's still in the first degree…" Asuma smiled. "But he's doing pretty well! He's the best in his class!"

He had a feeling that Sasuke, being the first in his public college class was not something that would impress these people, but at least it made him proud. He could also tell that he won a medal by completing a very hard and successful therapy program, but he was already picturing a targeted punch in his face from his son if he ever dared to say such a thing, so he opted not to.

"What's his name?"

"Sasuke. His name is pretty easy to remember, you know, Sarutobi Sasuke." he laughed, doltishly "but he doesn't like it. He has nothing to be ashamed of; I wish I had a cool name like that."

Asuma quickly realized he was the only one happily laughing in the room, and immediately straightened himself, feeling like a clown. He eyed Itachi, and was surprised to find him smiling. An odd smile. Maybe it was that the Uchiha men can't smile like a normal person, maybe it was that Itachi just thought his joke was funny; yet Asuma could tell that something else was going on inside that young man's head.

"Sasuke…" Itachi repeated, still smiling in a strange way. Then he turned to Mikoto: "How curious, the name we would've named my unborn little brother. Remember, _mother_?"

There was something sinister going on there. It was like someone had opened the windows and a ghostly chill gripped the atmosphere. The way Itachi spoke seemed somewhat…_morbid_. Asuma didn't know if he was talking about a future baby to come or a baby in the past that never came, but judging on the iciness cringing in the air, he would bet on the last hypothesis. Mikoto paled, and was glaring at her son with such a heavy expression that Asuma couldn't tell if she was angry at him or simply shocked. Yet it wasn't the sudden unspoken taboo that seemed to have crept out in the room that was making him feel uncomfortable; it was the unnatural, and highly disrespectful tone Itachi used when he pronounced the word "mother." He even had a sudden urge to slap the son, but he held himself, as he has never been a man to lay a hand on sons, much less on someone else's son.

"Unfortunately," Itachi resumed back to his former polite and well-mannered position, as natural as if nothing had ever happened five seconds ago. "My mother lost her pregnancy. It was a very difficult time."

"Oh…"

He didn't know what to say. He had no idea that Mikoto had gotten pregnant a second time. And losing the baby…Asuma had quite an unfortunate idea of how it must've been for her. "I'm terribly sorry. My wife lost a baby too and I can imagine what you must've have been through. Even if we men say we can understand," he gave a reproving sidelong glance to Itachi, for his former behavior, and made a point of reminding him that: "it's always the mother who suffers the most and carries the burden of the family's pain."

Itachi didn't seem the slightest bothered, donning again the same impassive expression with a puckered eyebrow of his father, an attitude that was starting to irk the Sarutobi. What kind of a son they raised, insensitive to the mother's pain? Especially when Mikoto seemed to be visibly disturbed. He watched Xing-Juan helplessly as she raised a hand to her forehead, touching it slightly as if she was checking her temperature.

"I'm not feeling well…" she spoke, her voice now sounding too fragile and trembling, and Asuma had to fight the urge to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. "I think I'm going home. Asuma, you'll be okay here by yourself, right? Talk with Fugaku if you have more questions."

"Sure, please, don't worry about me…"

"Mr. Tanaka took the car to the mechanic." Itachi uttered. Asuma assumed he was talking about their driver. "Do you want me to give you a ride?" Although he was kind to offer, he was immediately cut by a severe reply and an angry glare from his mother:

"No. I'll take a cab."

And with that said, she left the office. Itachi remained still, staring at the abruptly shut door with taciturn and pensive eyes. Eventually he turned on his heels and walked to the desk where he found the folder of papers he had apparently come for in the first place, and bowing slightly his head to Asuma he said, in the most delicate and polite tone of voice: "It was very nice to meet you." He disappeared through the door immediately, leaving Asuma alone in Uchiha Fugaku's office without knowing what to do.

What a strange family.

**:: ::**

The following days passed slowly and painfully, as Sasuke watched things becoming tense around the house. One could tell there was something harassing Kurenai's head, although she refused to say anything else other than "Nothing is going on." It was obvious something was going on. Asuma, on the other hand, seemed rather oblivious to his wife's late behavior, talking about his new work in the 'Uchiha lawyer factory', as what he called, but he soon started changing subject as he realized neither Sasuke or Kurenai enjoyed that topic of conversation, for some unknown reason.

As much as any Uchiha-related topic annoyed Sasuke, fact is he was still figuring out how to deal with the agonizing contempt that Itachi was giving him – he had tried another call, few days later, to his office but he was received by the same receptionist with the same answer. Now all the doubts he might've had regarding this abrupt lack of communication were replaced by a hard-hearted certainty that he was being avoided at any cost.

He tried not to think about it, but it was almost virtually impossible. At college, Naruto tried too hard to maintain normality, every now and then gracing them with patronizing comments about homosexuality in his very 'little obvious' special way of saying things, still without ever mentioning Sasuke's past relation with Itachi. Probably he was hoping for Sasuke to confess his secret first, as he didn't seem to know that Sasuke knew that Sakura had told him. Yet Sasuke was not so much interested in debating the issue, and he was certainly not interested at all in discussing gay rights with a guy that wanted to be president of a country without a republic.

Although it felt like a month, twelve days after that last time Sasuke saw Itachi he received a call from Shizune. As unbelievable as it may sound, he had completely forgotten of his pending business with the man that had tormented him for years. Had it been any other normal day, this would be a sign that he had finally moved on, if it wasn't for the fact that his mind was too occupied with the face of that snobbish Chinese asshole that he didn't have time to think of actual important things.

"_Haven't you heard the news? The trial started two days ago_." Shizune said, on the other side of the line. No, he hasn't heard the news. He hasn't heard the news for a week. There's a limit for how much drama a person can take. _"I need your answer Sasuke: are you going to testify?"_

It was now or never, he could no longer delay this. No more denying or running away. Sasuke glanced askance to the kitchen, where he heard Asuma asking Kurenai why she was so cold to him. He sighed. It seemed that lately Sasuke had done nothing right, and that he was at the verge of being again the cause of another marriage quarrel. On the one hand he feared the same thing happening to his testimony, that he would say something he shouldn't and ruin the trial, although Shizune kept assuring him that it wouldn't happen. On the other hand, if he didn't testify, he'd knew he'd regret it. He had given up his early idiotic plan of taking his personal vendetta on Orochimaru outside the jurisprudence realm, as he realized it would be practically impossible for him to get near him without crossing through his dedicated cult. Ironically, this time, the only option left for him was to go by the law and do things legally. If Orochimaru escaped from this accusation, he'll become untouchable. Sasuke couldn't let that happen.

"Yes." He replied. "I'll be there."

"_You can bring your parents Sasuke."_ She said. "_They'll be in the benches, and it'll probably make you feel more comfortable to see them there."_

He glanced back at the kitchen. Kurenai was now holding an opened gossip magazine and showing it angrily to Asuma, pointing to a picture on the page and screaming something about some Xinnuan person.

"I'll think about it." Sasuke mumbled, before he hung up. He wasn't planning on telling a thing to them. He didn't want to bring their personal conflicts to the court house too.

**:: ::**

He had been in Kyoto's District Court before, but this was the first time he actually felt nervous.

It was a simple looking building, minimalist rectangle-block style architecture with no particularly distinctive trait aside from the column-arched classic entrance. As Shizune had previously instructed him, he went straight to the second floor and, although with all the rushing human activity inside the building with people walking around in every direction, he quickly spotted her in the corridor, skimming trough some papers she had on hand. Frankenstein guy was there too, at the end of the corridor, looking at the clock on the wall impatiently. And much to Sasuke's shock, Sakura and Naruto were there too.

"See? I told you he'd come!" Naruto's face dumbly showed utter joy, as if his favorite thing to do was visit the court house just for the hell of it. Sakura, who had been looking kind of lost staring out the window as if trying to figure out what she was doing there in the first place, reacted immediately when Naruto announced Sasuke's presence and came running towards him with a smile.

Really, those two. What a headache.

"How the hell did you know?" He asked, letting out an annoyed sigh. He wouldn't bother to ask them why they were there, because he knew Naruto too well. Sometimes it was like having a second adoptive mother.

"Your friend contacted me and told me he wanted to help us with the case." Shizune said, muffling an amused giggle. "You have good friends."

"Shizune said I can testify too!" Naruto said, still in his uber-excited mode. That's what happens when your mother takes anti-depressives during pregnancy.

"Testify what? This has nothing to do with you." He snorted.

"Hey, I know you from kindergarten and I can tell the judges about the way you changed. And you forget I met the creep. I can testify that."

"What are you going to say? That you met Orochimaru one day in school and tried to pick a fight with him out of the blue?"

"It wasn't out of the blue!"

"Sasuke…" Sakura decided to step in as she saw Naruto's joy slowly shifting to anger. "Naruto is only trying to help."

"I don't need your help for nothing." He grunted, and walked away from them to sit on the nearest bench, resting his head on his palms.

Quite honestly he didn't know why he was acting like that. He knew Naruto and Sakura had no ill intentions and that it was perfectly normal to expect them there trying to see if there was anything they could do. But he never dealt well with so many strong emotions, added to the suffocating nervousness of the trial and the thought of reviving past experiences to a bunch of strangers and Orochimaru in the room. Fortunately, Naruto and Sakura didn't make a case of his attitude. His aggressive reaction toward friendly help in stressful situations was nothing new to them.

"Where's Kurenai and Asuma?" Naruto asked, after a brief moment of silence.

"I haven't told them."

"What? Why not? They should be here too! Shouldn't they testify as well?"

Although Naruto was questioning Sasuke, Shizune replied:

"There was no point in bringing Sasuke's parents when I didn't know if he was even going to testify. We still don't know if he'll be accepted as a witness since I only notified the judges this morning and the defense will try to prevent that from happening. But it shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh. But after his testimony, Kurenai and Asuma can testify too right? It'll strengthen the case right? Give him credibility right?"

"No." Sasuke jerked, glaring at Naruto in annoyance. "Leave them out of this."

Shizune bit her lip apprehensively, but kept her soothing smile, and said: "They won't be necessary. Parents' testimonies are biased by nature and they usually don't help the accusation much unless it's a family case. Fortunately we have your therapist to back your testimony, which can give the judges a professional and factual opinion of Orochimaru's role on Sasuke's destructive behavior."

Great, they have the therapist. The therapist that was actually a fan of Orochimaru's work. Sasuke wondered if that would actually help their case or the defense. And what did she mean with 'destructive behavior'? He never had destructive behavior. Destructive behavior is a fancy word used in sensationalist documentaries about punk kids cutting their wrists.

"Speaking about the creep, where is he?" Naruto asked, furiously looking around as if waiting for Orochimaru to suddenly pop out of a wall.

"He's in a confined room with his attorney. It's a normal security procedure; he'll enter the court room through the other door so that the accused and the witnesses from the accusation never meet outside the court room."

She was interrupted by Ibiki, who warned her that it was about start. Soon after the door at the corner of the corridor opened, and it was only then that Sasuke noticed the small group of boys, most of them around his age, that had been waiting in a bench to enter. One of them was glaring at him with particularly malicious eyes.

"You know him?" Naruto inquired, glaring back to the boy in response.

"Yeah…"

He remembered his face. He used to be a mule, very devoted to Orochimaru. Somehow, he felt a bit of relief of seeing him there, although he was most certainly going to be used to counter his testimony as a defense witness. But just the fact that he was alive, it meant that probably, Orochimaru didn't kill the other kids. He never heard anything about them after he left the farm house and Orochimaru fled to China, and he automatically assumed the man disposed of them as he didn't' believe he'd waste time and money to ship them all to China with him. But maybe, he did.

Or maybe he just fled with the most devoted ones and killed the others. This wasn't the time to ruminate on that. The trial was about to start and he was starting to feel too nervous to talk. What if he messes up with the dates and the defense uses it against him? It's been a long time. A lot of things he didn't remember in detail. Some others, he was no longer sure if he dreamt them. What if… What if they don't believe him?

"Sasuke," Shizune's voice was soft, and somehow, the way she spoke made him feel slightly better. "You'll do fine. I promise you." She smiled. "Now wait here for a moment while I go inside and open my case. A guard will come here to get you and guide you inside once you are called."

Naruto and Sakura prepared to follow her, but she added: "I'm sorry, but you two can't go inside. This is a closed doors trial, so audience seats are reserved to family members and witnesses."

"What? But you said I can testify!" Naruto complained.

"I said there might be a possibility in case this trial drags onfor too long, but either way that's not going to happen today. You should stay here and wait for Sasuke to come out, as your support will be very important to him."

Naruto pouted, but he quickly understood his role and didn't insist. He sat near Sasuke and remained stilled while they watched Shizune disappear inside the room and the door close behind her.

Sakura came to sit on the other side next to him, and placed her hand on top of his in a comforting way. He had not noticed that he had his hands gripping his knees hard, and her touch somehow relaxed him a bit. He sure appreciated her silence throughout that whole situation, as opposed to the blond chatterbox that didn't know a single moment to just shut up.

"After this I'm gonna treat you with a good meal." Naruto said. "I know an awesome place that makes the best ramen in the world. They have those dishes with vegetables and stuff that you like too. I'm sure they're equally good. And drinks will be on me. Just don't drink too much because I don't have much money. We can go to a strip club afterwards! I've never been into one. Kiba was the one who suggested that in case you need to be cheered up. He says he's an expert in that stuff but I honestly doubt it. I think he's full of shit. I don't believe a word of him when he says he lost his virginity when he was 13."

Oh. God. Now he was starting to agree with the hypothesis of Naruto testifying, he could as well do nothing but talk and talk and talk until he drove the defense attorney to absolute despair.

Didn't he understand he was too nervous to be able to absorb all his blabbing randomness? Blessed was the guard that finally came to fetch him to walk him through the court doors. He was still nervous to enter the court room, but any minute longer with Naruto he would've strangled the idiot. Taking a deep breath, he entered inside the room, not feeling the slightest confident about himself but trying to convince himself otherwise. He regretted, in that moment, for not saying anything to Asuma or Kurenai. Having them inside the room would make him feel a bit more confident.

It will be fine. Shizune assured him. Just avoid looking at the faces inside the room. Avoid looking at where Orochimaru is supposed to be. Avoid looking at the judges. He quickly spotted Shizune and fixed his stare on her, concentrating on not tripping on his own feet while he nervously walked towards the appointed chair he was supposed to sit in.

He sat on the chair. Took another deep breath, and finally allowed himself to look around the room. Orochimaru was at his right, staring at him with an irritating smirk. And next to Orochimaru, sat a very, very familiar face that made his heart violently climb to his throat and it was as if he felt an invisible debilitating punch on his stomach. It took him a while to recover from the shock and hear Shizune's first question, which she had to repeat twice to make sure hadn't gone deaf all of a sudden.

Orochimaru's defense attorney was… Itachi.

**::**

**::**

(1) Just to get a little contextualization here: Japan's economy boosted during the 1980s due to the success of their commercial manufacturing (did you know, that Japan also began by copying products and selling them cheap before their engineers started to improve and innovate?). State property and stock prices reached high levels of speculation as a result of financial deregulation (among other things) until the economic bubble burst in 1991. Many people lost their investments, their savings, their properties, same old story.

(2) One-child policy implemented in China in 1978. It was enforced at the provincial level through fines based on the family's income.

(3) White Day: set one month exactly after Valentine's Day, it's the day when boys give chocolate (or other) gifts to girls. Males that received chocolate gifts on Valentine's Day are expected to return the favor.


	14. Trial

**a/n**: I'm so sorry! Not only I'm really bad at keeping promises, this chapter turned out too long and barely edited. May contain grammar mistakes. Well, the next chapter is almost done, so I'll try to update as quickly as possible.

Additional note: I'm using the trial by jury system, which apparently returned to Japanese courts in 2009. I apologize for my poor knowledge on trials and courts, Law&Order TV series are like the only reference I have (let's just assume Japanese trials are the same).

And I hope none of you have a degree in Chemistry.

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Sasuke couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing.

Yes, Itachi is a criminal lawyer. Yes, his job is to defend people accused of committing a crime. But it had never, ever, crossed his mind that Sasuke could face him in a trial against Orochimaru. He never imagined – not even for a bit – that Itachi could, consciously and willingly, defend Orochimaru.

He was _defending_ Orochimaru. He was his lawyer. His fucking, expensively paid, defense lawyer. After everything that happened between them, it was as if the gods were trying to give him a lesson that he did not quite understand yet.

Shizune asked him some questions, but he could barely concentrate on his answers. He couldn't take his eyes off of the defense table, as he watched with disgust Orochimaru whispering things in his ear, and Itachi nodding in silent agreement. Itachi would barely look at him, too busy writing whatever he was writing in his notebook. For the strangers sitting in the jury box, there was nothing out of ordinary happening that day; nobody in that court room could tell the defense lawyer had been sexually involved with the witness. Itachi acted as if nothing had ever happened between them; as if they had never seen each other before that day.

As if they never existed together. He was Orochimaru's defense attorney. Sasuke was the prosecution's witness. He was barely overcoming the shock of the sharp realization of this current reality.

Was there a meaning behind this? Something he didn't know? For how long was Itachi Orochimaru's criminal lawyer? Did he know about Sasuke, or was he just as surprised as Sasuke was seeing him in court that day? Shizune said she kept Sasuke's testimony a secret while he decided if he should testify or not, and he doubted Orochimaru would mention him to Itachi if it wasn't necessary. But then again, Itachi didn't look all that surprised. In fact, he looked disturbingly calm. He looked as if this was yet another normal case in his life.

There was something very wrong in that picture.

"Does the defense have any questions to this witness?" The judge asked.

Sasuke barely noticed Shizune had already finished her interrogation, and now it was the defense attorney's turn to question the witness. He watched Itachi calmly reply affirmatively to the judge's question, and stand up, bringing with him his heavily scribbled down notebook. For a brief second Sasuke actually thought he was going to say no.

This was the moment he dreaded the most. He almost forgot about the presence of Orochimaru; watching the only man he ever developed serious feelings for defending that villainous creature had a far more torturous effect on him. Itachi seemed to avoid eye contact with Sasuke. The boy tried to search for some kind of sympathetic emotion on his face – he found none. Donning a completely apathetic expression, it was as if this man in front of him was a completely different person from the Itachi that had once seduced him.

"Can you describe what kind of relationship you had with the defendant?"

Itachi eyed him for a brief moment, before he turned his attention back to his notebook, seemingly finding it more interesting than Sasuke's presence.

"He was… my adoptive father."

His voice came out hoarse and weak, almost cracking in the middle. He cleared his throat. He couldn't afford to be all emotional at a time like this. Maybe Itachi will conduct the trial in order to incriminate Orochimaru. Maybe he regretted accepting to be his attorney and will spare Sasuke of the psychological anguish. Maybe he'll do the right thing.

"I know who he was. I asked you to describe your relationship with him."

What… he didn't know what Itachi was asking exactly. What the hell was he supposed to answer? He looked at Shizune, but she was also frowning at Itachi's questioning, probably also trying to figure out what he was planning. Better go for the neutral answer.

"…normal I guess."

"Normal you say? Even though you claimed he tortured kids in front of you?"

He gasped. The bitter irony in Itachi's voice caught him off guard. He couldn't believe… was Itachi attacking him?

"Objection your honor!" Shizune slammed her right hand on the table as she quickly stood up. "The witness never had a father-figure before, he can't respond to such a question with objectivity!"

"But he can respond to it subjectively, considering he has been living with a foster family for about five years." Itachi pointed out, nonchalantly skimming through his notes. Arrogantly, he didn't even bother to turn his head to face the judge.

"Overrule." The judge said. He looked bored and uninterested in what was going on in the trial, as if he'd rather be somewhere else and the state was cockblocking his rights to an early retirement pension.

Sasuke bit his lip. Itachi was being very crafty with his questioning. Not that he expected less from an Uchiha, but…

"Would you say Orochimaru, as a normal father, played favoritism?"

That was a tricky question. He could feel it.

"I don't know if normal fathers do that, but yes." Sasuke snorted.

He would still barely look at him, treating him with apathy and disdain. Though truthfully, the unconscious side of his brain, always detached from his rational functions, kept convincing him that Itachi was just doing his job. Maybe he couldn't reject Orochimaru's request. And the questions weren't _that_ bad…

"Were you among his favorite sons?"

A cold shiver ran through his spine. If Itachi's plan was to make him uncomfortable, he was already succeeding. He hated the fact that he had ever viewed Orochimaru as father, but knowing he was also favored by the man didn't make him proud either.

"Yes." He mumbled.

"Who were the other favorites?"

The way he was leading the questioning did not promise to be indulgent. Definitely not.

"I think Sakon was a favorite too. And one other guy named Ryo."

He didn't really remember well all the kids that enjoyed special favoritism and protection from Orochimaru, but he remembered that Orochimaru never punished Sakon for anything, unlike his brother Ukon, even though they shared the same rotten DNA: both thieves of no regrets and violent blockheads. They were also among the alpha males that enjoyed beating and sexually assaulting the younger ones.

"Would you say my client was overprotective of his favorite sons?"

Sasuke couldn't hide a grimace. "In his own way."

Itachi skipped some papers on his hand, his facial expression unchanged.

"Kaneshiro Sakon…the forensics team has positively identified him as one of the corpses found in September 26 after your police testimony. Sakurai Ryo… filed as a missing child since 2003. You told in your testimony that you witnessed Orochimaru beating to death Sakon and his brother Ukon, who is also listed among the corpses found by the police. Is that also what happened to Ryo?"

Ryo was dead too? He doesn't remember him very well. He used to stay locked on his own room, glued to his books. Orochimaru would always let him be. Sasuke could spend days without seeing him. He could've as well run away, nobody would notice him. Probably he did run away.

"I don' know what happened to Ryo."

"Really? Because I'm rather confused as to why, out of the defendant's three favorite sons, whom you have confirmed to enjoy the father's protection, you're the only survivor."

In the prosecution table, Shizune jumped like a rabbit that has just heard a shot. "Objection, assuming facts not in evidence! We don't even have a proof that Sakurai Ryo is dead!"

But Sasuke interrupted her, glaring Itachi furiously: "Are you implying that I killed them?"

"Is that how you deal with your competition?"

If he was still having doubts about Itachi's true intentions in that trial, Itachi made sure to annihilate them in the most chilling way. Sasuke was appalled. Itachi had just indirectly accused him of being the murderer. His eyes were cold, like the metal of the invisible sharp blade stuck in his back. There was no doubt of his position in the court at that moment, and it took a painful while to finally hit Sasuke.

Itachi was planning to win the case. Barely five minutes had passed since the interrogation begun and he already showed his goal with Sasuke – to crucify him as a suspect.

"Your honor!" Shizune yelled.

"Sustained!" The judge grunted, Shizune's screaming voice waking him out of his day dream, and loudly knocked on the table with his gavel. He turned to Itachi, with half-opened eyes and a grumpy stare. "Mr. Uchiha, I suggest that unless you have solid proof of your beliefs, you'd keep your assumptions to yourself."

"I'm sorry your honor." Itachi bowed an apology. Still unfazed, he then proceeded, seemingly now more confident in his role of discrediting the witness. He returned to his table, picked a piece of paper wrapped in a plastic sheet and came back to Sasuke, putting the item on top of his stand.

"Recognize this?"

Sasuke looked at the piece of paper with a heavy frown. He eyed Orochimaru angrily. He looked serene and comfortable in his own seat, but could tell that bastard was laughing hysterically inside. How did he manage to keep that?

The guy sitting behind Orochimaru, who Sasuke recognized to be a former mule, was smirking. Right. It was him.

"Yes..."

There was no way Itachi didn't know about Sasuke's involvement in this case and the possibly of him testifying before. Orochimaru must've told him beforehand. He was too well prepared. That piece of paper was consciously kept and reserved for that trial.

"That is a death threat you wrote to the brothers." Itachi insisted.

"That was only because-"

"_One more time and you're dead. Both of you._"

The defense lawyer cited out loud to the court, the words an eleven year old Sasuke once wrote. The jury whispered. It was so out of context. Itachi was taking everything out of context and building a fictional case against him. This was so wrong.

That death threat wasn't even intentional. It was very common for them to use that kind of language with others to protect themselves. It never meant they were being dead serious.

"What was that you meant with _'one more time'_, Sasuke?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For a moment he felt dizzy with all the emotion swirling inside him, as if his hot sweaty body has been pushed into a bath of icy cold water. The reality of witnessing Itachi turning against him for money, without a spark of an emotion, was already hard to digest; but being forced to tell _him _details of his own bitter past that he didn't even tell Shizune was going to be specially hard.

He didn't want to talk about that part. He never told Shizune for a reason, and he didn't like to remember it.

Damn.

"The production team had a minimum amount of packages to produce each week. Sometimes the mules stole part of the product and blamed the production team, and we ended up being punished."

Shizune seemed surprised upon hearing that. Sasuke didn't even tell the whole thing, but he figured it wouldn't be necessary in his testimony.

"The production team? Your testimony states you weren't part of it."

He sighed. He should've told the whole thing from the beginning. But he didn't think that would matter. Actually, no; he was ashamed of confessing it. "I was asked to supervise it."

He wasn't technically _part_ of it. But Orochimaru asked him to supervise the production once. For about six months. Supervising as in, reporting to him directly who wasn't doing their job right.

Supervising as in, punishing those who made mistakes.

Itachi was silent for a moment, as if he was analyzing Sasuke's newest information.

"Is there anything else you omitted previously that you'd like to add now? Because you won't have many other opportunities to alter your testimony."

"I'm not altering anything! I just didn't think it was important."

Some memoirs are not meant to leave the room they belong to. What happened in that basement stays in that basement.

"You didn't think it was important…"

Really, Itachi's obnoxious habit of repeating his words and drag them out in a condescending tone was getting on his nerves. He silently vowed to never become a criminal lawyer, because those must be the most obnoxious creatures on planet, not to mention professional back-stabbers.

"You claimed in your previous testimony that didn't take part of the – according to your words – 'drug production system', yet now you are stating otherwise as a way to explain this death threat-" He stopped, this time, to slowly lift his head from his notebook and look Sasuke in the eyes. Coldly. "You can't have it both ways Sasuke."

"Objection your honor, Mr. Uchiha is making suggestive claims!" Shizune complained.

"I am not claiming anything other than the simple facts: the witness is stating something which is contrary to his previous testimony to justify evidence."

The judge sighed in boredom. "Overruled."

"Let's talk about Akira, them. The third victim."

What? He's changing the subject just like that?

"You said in your previous testimony that Akira was trying to be close to you. Would you like to change that as well or can we stick with this statement for now?

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"It's what it says." He grunted. "In the testimony."

He didn't know what Itachi was planning by bringing Akira, and he didn't like it. Akira's memory should not be corrupted by a corrupt lawyer like him that protects the criminals and blames the victims after fucking them.

"Ergo, you were not friends of the third victim, but he was trying to get closer to you."

Why the fuck he kept repeating everything he said? The jury wasn't deaf and they weren't certainly retarded, otherwise they wouldn't be selected to verdict on that trial. And the judge was already asleep with his torturously delayed questions.

"Why was he trying to be close to you?"

Sasuke glared him. What did he want? Was he planning on using Akira's homosexuality to prove a point? Because it wasn't like it was a secret, even Orochimaru knew it. The guy that was sitting behind Orochimaru, shooting dead glares at Sasuke, knew it. It's not like he was going to lie so Itachi could have the pleasure of discrediting again for a minor stupid detail.

"He had…." He swallowed hard. He didn't like talking about Akira. It brought him memories; made him feel uncomfortable. "…feelings for me."

"What kind of feelings?"

"Objection your honor, the question is irrelevant!" Shizune stood up. She also didn't like the direction of the questioning.

"The question is relevant to my theory." Itachi plead. The judge eyed him doubtfully, before he said: "Overruled. You better make it quick." He said, voicing everyone else's opinions certainly.

Itachi nodded, and turned to Sasuke, repeating the question. Sasuke sighed.

"Hormonal feelings, I guess."

"Did he have a crush on you?"

"Yes."

"How did you know?"

Sasuke frowned. "He confessed to me."

Itachi paused for a while, as if he was still thinking over his next question.

"Did you defend him against Sakon and Ukon's bullying?"

Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise. He never mentioned that detail in his testimony. Shizune was equally confused.

"Another detail you decided to omit?" Itachi smirked.

"Objec-"

"The defendant will testify that he was aware of the internal quarrels between the witness and the two victims." Itachi explained to the judge, getting ahead of Shizune. "The defendant states that most of those quarrels were majorly motivated by the harassing behavior of the first two victims."

"Bullying my ass." Sasuke grunted. Unfortunately he was heard by the devil's advocate.

"I'm sorry Sasuke? Would you like to add something?"

"Not really."

"But you do agree with the defendant's statement?"

Sasuke glared at Orochimaru. He was trying to look serious and concerned, but Sasuke knew he was smirking inside.

"Yes."

"Can you describe what kind of bullying they did?"

"What do you mean with describe?

"Give us some examples, if you please."

Sasuke shrugged. "They tried to beat him every time." He stopped. He decided not to add more. Not the rape attempts part.

"Why did they do that?"

"Because they were douchebags."

"Douchebags?"

"Do you have a hearing problem? Stop repeating everything I say." He snorted, but he regretted immediately of saying that. He sounded a bit more irritated than he wanted to, and Itachi was sure to use it against him.

"You do have a short temper, don't you Sasuke? I only have to imagine how would have you responded after watching your friend being violently harassed multiple times."

"Objection!" Shizune shouted again. "Your honor, he's leading-"

"As the defendant will explain in his testimony, the two victims engaged in a particularly violent and obsessive behavior against the third victim and the witness, to which the witness always responded with violence. The witness possesses criminal records involving street violence and delinquency, and a past conviction of battery for which he was given the option to complete an anger management therapy program in exchange for prison. There are also several reports from the witness' Junior High School of bullying complains against him."

"Your honor, those records-" Shizune was, again, sharply interrupted by Itachi.

"-Are relevant as they establish a consistency of violent behavior and psychological disturbances, that will also be corroborated by the defendant's and the defense witness' testimony."

The judge seemed a bit lost, not knowing if he should allude to an objection that Shizune never managed to finish because of Itachi's obnoxious interruptions.

"Well…just go on with it." The judge groaned, boringly. He gestured Shizune to sit down.

"Now aside from your relationship with the Kaneshiro brothers, what was your personal relationship with Akira?"

Sasuke didn't really know what to say anymore. In less than a minute Itachi accused him of being violent and implying him again in the murder of the brothers, and then went back to concentrate on Akira. He didn't even give Sasuke a chance to defend himself.

Bullying? That was new to him. He never harassed weaklings to steal their lunchboxes or shoes. There were kids that did that on a daily basis and never got punished. What he did was occasionally punching the smug smirks off of some seniors' cocky faces. Okay, he also did break a guy's teeth for trying to kiss him – but he admitted he overreacted that time. It was a bit too much. But he heard the guy got his teeth fixed and ended up with a celebrity-worth smile, so it wasn't all that bad.

"Sasuke?" Itachi insisted, waking him up from his silent mumblings.

What was the question again? Oh right, Akira.

"Akira was as a friend."

"A friend? Yet just moments ago you said he wasn't your friend."

He couldn't believe he felt for that trick. Itachi was doing this on purpose. He should've already noticed the way he worded 'personal relationship', to mislead him on purpose.

How could he answer honestly his relationship with Akira? He wasn't a close friend, but at the same time, Akira cared for him as if he was a friend. And Sasuke did defend him against Sakon and Ukon, but…

"I always tried to keep distance from Akira, but every time I look back, I think he was the only friend I had in that place."

"Was his homosexual feelings the reason why kept your distance?"

"… yes."

"How do you feel about homosexuality?"

He cringed at the question. Itachi was staring at him a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. It was as if he was_ provoking_ him. As if the true meaning behind the question was "how do you feel after I fucked you raw and made you orgasm like the true faggot you are". How do you feel about me, defending the man you hate the most like I don't give a shit, after claiming your heterosexual body and your heterosexual feelings?

Inadvertently Sasuke blushed, turning his head unable to face his shame, as feelings of wrath and resentment engulfed him. He felt so… _humiliated._ He had to fight back tears of rage.

Fortunately, Itachi didn't wait for his reply; he turned around, and walked to this desk. He grabbed some papers, then returned to Sasuke and showed it to him.

"In my hand I have your Japanese literature subject exam. Can you confirm it?"

Sasuke eyed him confused. For a brief moment he was grateful that Itachi didn't insist and now was changing the question. He calmed himself down a bit and grabbed the paper sheets Itachi gave to him and glanced at the front page. Yes, that was his handwriting. He had an A- in that exam.

"Can you turn to the second page and read your answer to the question 'Do you think Genji shows skills of leadership'? Only the underlined part is necessary."

He turned the page around and that's where he knew it. That bastard. How the hell did he find that? Oh, of course, Orochimaru. Orochimaru kept all his exams too. Orochimaru kept _everything_ from him, apparently.

Shit, shit, shit. He was just a kid! If he knew that stupid remark would be used to jeopardize the testimony of his life, he would never have wrote that. Considering it was even that minor remark that caused him the minus on his A. Pro-gay rights teacher apparently.

"Sasuke?"

"_However regardless of his natural leadership skills, Genji is unable to fight against his immoral desires by engaging in condemnable homosexual activities."_ He read fast. He hoped the jury didn't really understood what he said. He could almost hear Shizune face palming herself, even though he was trying to not look at her.

"Your writing skills and your knowledge were very admirable for a 12 year old. No wonder you were put in an advanced class. But, was homosexuality even part of the Tales of Genji in your Japanese literature program?

"No." Sasuke brusquely replied. His voice was still a bit hoarse.

"Then how did you know such detail?"

"Internet?" He answered sarcastically.

Itachi raised an eyebrow in disdain, eyeing with such coldness that it took all of Sasuke's self-control so he wouldn't jump out of his seat and punch him. How dare he? He tricked him, made him believe in things he never believed in before only to know spit on his face and try to nail Orochimaru's crimes on him. Was that how a lawyer is supposed to be? Renounce all his remaining sense of dignity and humanity in exchange for more zeros in his bank account?

"…'_condemnable homosexual activities'_… _" _Itachi said, slowly, letting the full impact of that sentence resonate in the jury's hears.

Itachi turned around and walked to his seat to pick up a small softcover book that was on the table; then he returned to Sasuke, still donning the same apathetic expression as ever.

"Do you know this manga?" He showed the cover to him.

Oh, that's where he was coming from. Where did he dig that -oh right, Orochimaru. The manga was once a present from Orochimaru, though Sasuke never finished it. That old man honestly thought Sasuke would identify himself with the main character, but Sasuke only found the book a bit too uncomfortable to read and sometimes boring. And the main character was a narcissistic asshole. Sasuke was nothing like that.

I mean, not entirely.

"Yes."

"Volume II, Page 38." He opened it and started reading it. _"He says he wants be my friend, it's sickening. Trying to seduce me with his condemnable homosexual behavior. If he keeps likes this I'll have no choice but to kill him." _He read. "And in page 45, we have a reference to the homosexual part of the Tales of Genji".

Yeah well, that didn't sound very good. He didn't really remember that part. Years with Orochimaru made him constantly pissed off with the world. He was too angered to know where his morals came from.

The jury whispered.

"This manga is called 'Naoki in Wonderland' written by Fujimoto Tetsuo." He said, waving the book widely in the air, for the drama effect. "Reputed manga-critic Yonezawa Yoshihiro describes it as 'a tale of glorified violence with an alarming desensitizing factor'. The main character, an orphan child, is adopted by a corrupted politician who sheltered abandonment children in exchange for obedient handwork on his illegal drug factory. The story focuses on the journey of Naoki through the underworld and the loss of his innocence, as he slowly grows into an irredeemable sociopath that follows the footsteps of his progenitor."

"I didn't even finish the manga…" Sasuke mumbled, but Itachi interrupted his speech, raising his tone of voice.

"What I find it curious, Sasuke, is how the details of Naoki's home resemble so much your testimony. From the number of children living in this so called drug facility, their assigned tasks, the logistics of the business, his relation with his homosexual friend…" he paused, staring at Sasuke briefly. His eyes were empty slots. "…to even killing his own adoptive brothers."

"Objection!" Shizune shouted, but Itachi quickly intervened:

"Your honor, as our witness will eventually testify in this court, this extremely graphic manga was the witness' favorite and we have reason to believe that the witness' perception of reality had been highly influenced, or even if I should say, distorted, by the graphic contents of the book. Not only this drug factory the witness describes appears here in detail, but the descriptions of the deaths surrounding these three children share also striking similarities with the characters of this manga. The defense also plans to bring a renowned child psychiatrist as an expert witness to confirm our theory."

What?

He couldn't believe the fuck he was hearing. That was a load of bullocks! Favorite? What the hell? He didn't even like that manga! Heck, he didn't even remember what was half the manga all about, it was so boring.

Orochimaru was staring at him with a smirk of victory. He planned this whole thing. He kept that book; he even kept that completely unrelated death threat. He's trying to cover his ass against Sasuke's testimony by making him look like a deranged child that gets killing urges after listening to a heavy metal song. The 'Violent manga influences the youth to commit crimes' kind of propaganda. For fuck's sake, what kind of idiot believes in that shit?

The jury, apparently. Damn, he should've never ever testified. Even if that manga theory the defense was using was utterly ridiculous, the jury looked like they were buying it. Itachi cited the case of Yokamoto Eki, a otaku who was caught him his own lie after "concocting" the killing of his mother in a similar way a manga character did. Itachi's word, not his.

Fucking Japan and its otaku culture. Now Sasuke was accused of being a killer _and_ an otaku. It can't get worse than that.

Shizune tried to contest it, but Itachi kept talking over her. Orochimaru smiled. He was getting away. That bastard was getting away and Sasuke was going to get pinned with his crimes.

His heart drummed in his ears.

"My client is a loving father who welcomes his home to unwanted orphans, and his only crime was trying to protect his sons. He never knew about the fates of these children, after he reported their missing status to the police, and always believed they remained as such"

Sasuke didn't know how Itachi could 'concoct' those words without throwing up.

"But before he had time to mourn the recently discovered deaths of three of his children, he's accused of being the mastermind of the crimes and dragged into this ignominious circus. The prosecution is relying on a finical scriptwriting and a single witness with precedents of violence, delinquency and mendaciloquence, with a falsiloquent storytelling that could've have been as well written by a manga novelist. Your honor, the defense suspects the prosecution is here on a mission of famicide, to slanderer a man's reputation built on probity and hard-work by concocting a sensationalist yet clichéd tale of child abuse to inveigle the jury into responding with feelings of commiseration. Thus, the defense asks at least for chance to prove the truth."

It wouldn't be an overstatement to say that nobody in that court room understood exactly everything what Itachi just rambled on about. He talked too fast and used too obnoxiously long words. Certainly nobody knew what the fuck 'mendaciloquence' meant, that's for sure. Probably the last person in Japan that pronounced a word of that size without gagging died before the 20th century began. Shizune was too confused to object, and the judge, who didn't look more enlightened than the rest of the audience, opted to just overrule in favor of Itachi and spare him the trouble of asking for a translation in human language. And again, Itachi got what he wanted with his untranslatable 'pretentiousloquency'.

"Now, Sasuke." Itachi started, facing him again with that arrogant smug of his. "Care to tell to describe to the court how exactly the victims Sakon and Ukon died?"

He opened the manga book he was still holding in his hands on an intentional page. Sasuke couldn't see what page that was, but he could already tell what was Itachi's plan.

What an asshole. How could he… do that? If it was already difficult for him to forgive Itachi's attempt at accusing him as a murder (especially after that 'homosexuality' question), now he definitely stepped out of the line when he came with that otaku shit. There is no way Sasuke would let the strangers in jury box mistake him for a looser whose concept of a hobby includes organizing figurine collections by purchase date and having romantic dates with anime hug no, no – Sasuke will prove to the court that, not only he is a completely sane guy with great chances of reproduction, the defense lawyer is the one 'concocting' those absurd fantasies and in dire need for a dictionary published after 1965.

"Is that it?" Sasuke glared, defiantly.

Itachi rose and eyebrow.

"What?"

"Your best theory." He uttered sarcastically. "That a 12 year old kid like me, killed two older and stronger guys like Sakon and Ukon, buried them in a 15 miles away place, without nobody noticing, all because I read a fucking manga?"

The judge immediately reprimanded him for his choice of words, but Itachi almost interrupted him. "How… do you know the place was 15 miles away?"

"Because the police told me, what else!" Sasuke snorted. "How about a better question _Mr. Uchiha_, are you really a lawyer or just a licensed clown?"

"Order!" The judge hammered hard on the table, as some young girls in the jury box giggled, already seduced by the witness' unconventional charm. "Miss Kato, if you don't control your witness I'll have him arrested for disrespecting the court rules and offending the defense attorney!"

Shizune struggled to hide her smile as she tried to apologize to the judge. Sasuke had already calmed himself down. He was still feeling a bit hot-tempered, but he knew better to not anger the voice of authority further. He was confident he succeeded in both exposing the ridiculousness of Itachi's argument and discredit the lawyer at the same time.

But Itachi didn't look pleased. He was still holding the book firmly, eyes telling he was not going to give up yet. No, he was not going to drop that shit any time soon.

Suddenly, he smiled. A very unpleasant smile. And Orochimaru-style of smile.

He couldn't believe he had sex with this guy.

"As a top student from Kyoto's Law School, I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Sasuke."

The boy eyed him distrustfully. "Don't patronize me."

"I won't. Using the deductive method to render the premise as an informal fallacy is classic counter-argumentation taught in first year's Lay school, but you're forgetting a minor detail." He paused. For suspense, Sasuke guessed. "I never said you killed them."

"You said…"

"You are making the assumption on your own. In fact, you already justified on your own why you, in a hypothetical scenario you may be deem as the prime suspect, wouldn't be able to hide the bodies, alone, without help. But that is not what I want to know" he paused, glancing over his shoulder at Shizune, "because, you see, that's the prosecution job. Not mine."

"Object-"

"No need for that." Itachi uttered, harshly. He kept his eyes fixed on Sasuke, as if defying him to the next round. "Let's talk about something else."

He turned around and walked back to his table, where he grabbed a pile of printed papers and then returned to start distributing copies among the judge, Shizune, and the jury. He did not give a copy to Sasuke, but instead gave him a piece of white paper and a pencil, and asked:

"Basing on your testimony, can you draw a blueprint of your methamphetamine factory?"

Sasuke did not have a good feeling about this and he hated the way he worded his question. Asking him to draw was to distract him on purpose and make him look confused as he remembered the things. Typical defense dirty trick. But he had no choice, it would be worse for his credibility if he didn't do it.

"Please include a legend and a drawing of each industrial equipment."

Shizune attacked. "Objection your honor, the proposal is ambiguous. The witness may not remember with certainty what he is being asked to do."

"You honor, the witness is only being asked to draw what he already confessed in his written testimony, as he had already described the factory to the prosecutor. I'm not asking additional details the witness may not remember."

"Overruled."

Tsk..his memory wasn't that good. He didn't describe the lab with detail and Itachi was indeed asking more than what he told to Shizune. Meanwhile Shizune was trying to find his written testimony in the middle of her huge mess of papers on her table. He sighed. Her obvious inexperience was becoming really frustrating.

He made a quick sketch of the lab with the location of all the equipments. Since they were all installed in the basement and the area had no divisions, it was relatively easy to remember where the main machines were. The two giant reactors were the chemicals were sintethyzed were located in the right side of the room. The purification section with the distillation columns was in the northwest side… Problem was the rest, especially the equipment that was non-related to the meth production. He was never asked to supervise that area.

"How many kids were working there, exactly?"

"About eight. And two supervisors." He quickly replied. He couldn't let Itachi disturb his concentration.

"All for methamphetamine production?"

"Four were in the shabu production, and the other four in the ecstasy and GHB."

Ecstasy and GHB weren't the main production, but their equipments were also installed in the same space of the shabu equipments. He didn't remember their design and exact location very well, because they only started being used in the last month he had to supervise. He remembered the rotary tablet press were they made the tablets were close to the reactors.

"Oh, so you also made ecstasy and GHB?"

The tone of his voice was irking him. He made it sound like Sasuke was describing a children playground.

"I did not make anything. I only supervised." Sasuke felt the need to underline that part again.

He put down the pencil as he scrutinized his drawing now full of scrawls, trying to see if there was anything else he forgot. What a mess. It looked like he had been trying to draw the Guggenheim Museum instead of a meth lab. His drawing skills were really bad.

"You finished?" The lawyer asked, as he observed Sasuke putting down the pencil. He nodded.

Itachi took the drawing and scrutinize it. "A rotary tablet press next to batch reactors?" He questioned. "Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

Everything was dangerous in that place. Resident chemistry Kabuto wasn't exactly concerned with safety regulations.

"I don't know."

"And why there is also a distillation column when the batch reactor can also process distillation and crystallization?"

He puzzled. How the fuck should he know that? It was Kabuto who mounted the lab and designed the procedures, not him. They only used the reactors for dissolution and mixing, not the rest.

Shizune, realizing Sasuke's puzzlement, quickly intervened:

"Objection your honor, the witness does not possess knowledge of the mechanics of industrial chemical equipment."

"Sustained." The judge turned to Itachi. "Mr. Uchiha, is there a point in all of this?"

"Yes you honor." He explained. "It is exactly as Miss Kato stated. This paper," he showed Sasuke's drawing to the judged, and then to the jury "describes a fictional laboratory that does not exist in reality, due to the witness' lack of knowledge in real methamphetamine factory."

"Obje-"

"The papers I distributed to your honor, the jury and Miss Kato list examples of diagrams of different methamphetamine dismantled by the police in different countries, provided by crime laboratory analyst Dr. Fujiwara, whom the defense is also planning to bring as an expert witness. There is logical different between the diagram drawn by the witness and the diagram of actual laboratories."

What? That wasn't made up. He looked at Orochimaru. He was smirking. No, Sasuke did not imagine that lab. It existed. The reactors weren't used for distillation.

They produced _meth_ in that place. Sasuke saw it. He saw Orochimaru asking his mules to taste it and he saw kids getting high and doing insane things because of the shit they produced in that lab.

Why? Why the distillation was a different process operating in a different part of the room? Why does it matter?

"However, there are significant resemblances between this diagram the witness drew with Fujimoto's manga, which also describes a drug laboratory containing two batch reactors and a distillation column. An incongruence perhaps, but very common in fiction authors who never experienced the reality they imagine in their manga's. It's a rather interesting coincidence that the witness repeated the same mistake in his testimony."

No… no, this wasn't happening. Sasuke was sure of what he saw. He worked there for six months! He knew the process. That book… he didn't remember the story well. If the manga draws a similar laboratory as Itachi was saying, than that's because Kabuto copied it! Seriously it was Kabuto who constructed that lab, not him!

"Finally we're getting somewhere." The judge snorted, approving the direction Itachi was going for. He signed Shizune to sit down with his eyes, and gave order for the defense lawyer to continue.

That was a _real_ meth lab. Wasn't it? Or was it… just another one of Orochimaru's experiments? Like Oskar Schindler's gun factory that did not make functional guns. No, Orochimaru wasn't like that. He liked his experiments, but loved his profit even more. He would never hire Kabuto if he didn't know what he was doing.

"Can I have one of those papers?" Sasuke asked, pointing to the photocopies of meth labs diagrams the jury was holding. Itachi looked a bit surprised, but he eventually complied.

"Sure." He gave him the ones he had left, removing them from the clip that kept them attached to his notebook. He also gave him back his drawing. "Here, if you also want to correct your mistakes." He smiled cockily.

Fucking asshole.

"Now, I talked to some criminal mind experts" Itachi resumed his argument "Whose statements I have printed with me, and all of them seemed on the opinion that using children as both producers and distributors in the illegal drug trade logistics not only is extremely atypical, it also can reveal too many risks and costs for the operator. Why do you think Orochimaru would build such a system?"

"Objection, argumentative!"

"I'll rephrase," He quickly said "have you ever talked to any of the distribution mules that might've have explained how their job worked?"

"Orochimaru didn't have just children working for him." Sasuke snorted, without taking his eyes out of the papers.

"So, there were adults as well?"

"The mules worked alongside with professional drug dealers and these did most of the shipping."

He tried to keep himself focused on studying the papers. He did not have much time.

There were only three diagrams, all of laboratories busted in the last five years. One in Indonesia, one in Mexico and the other in America. All of them looked fairly simple in design, functioning around one or two batch reactors. Comparatively, they made Kabuto's lab look like it had too much unnecessary industrial equipment.

"Oh really? Care to elaborate on that, Sasuke? Because I vaguely remember reading something along the lines there…." He pointed to the manga.

There was something he was missing there…

"It doesn't talk about shipping there." Sasuke blurted. He wished Itachi would shut up about the book and let him concentrate.

"So what it talks about?"

Sasuke gasped. He raised his head. He wished he remembered what that _stupid_ manga talked about, it would make his fucking life so much easier. Itachi was taking things out of context, and leaving others that could disprove his argument. He was sure of that. "I don't remember" He replied.

But he didn't _know _what was missing. He looked at his drawing again. Then he looked back at the diagrams. Out of the diagrams, the one that presented a more complex construction of a meth lab indicated that the factory also produced ecstasy and ketamine.

Ketamine…also known as Special K… the factory had two giant vessels in the corner, and the legend said one was a batch reactor and the other…

"How convenient." Itachi continued "Do you want to talk about production schedules, teams arrangement, formula testing, unsafe security measures, inventories, and all the procedures related to drug production? Maybe we can draw more literature comparisons."

That's it. That's what he was missing.

"Object-" Shizune was going to slap again, but this time Sasuke interrupted her:

"I never said the factory had batch reactors."

"What?

"Here, in the diagram, this reactor" he pointed to it "it says CSTR reactor. This is the kind we had. Not batch reactors. That's why we needed separate distillation columns-"

"It's a bit too late to rectify your drawing Sasuke."

"I never wrote that in my drawing!" He shouted, grabbing the piece of paper he drew and showing it too Itachi. "You're the one putting words in my mouth!"

"Sasuke, it doesn't matter how hard you try to explain when at the end of the day the blueprint, the logistics and the manpower of your imagined factory resembles too much a work of fiction. Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know, maybe because fiction books are based on reality? But, bottom-line, this-"

"So in your opinion, Naoki in Wonderland tells a realistic portrayal of drug production?"

"As I said, I don't really remem-…" He shut up.

It hit him. It finally hit him. That one, that little – GIANT – detail that will help him to refute Itachi's book theory.

Special K.

"The manga talks about Special K production."

It took him a while, but he finally remembered the damn main topic about that damn book.

Itachi frowned. "That's not what I ask-"

Sasuke didn't even let him finish. "I don't remember the manga very well, but I know it was about a Special K factory. I don't know how to produce Special K." He uttered. He stared at Itachi. "But I know everything about shabu."

Itachi turned to the jugde, "Your honor, the witness-"

Sasuke wasn't letting him go this time. He was stressed, anxious and really, really _pissed off._ Nobody could shut him up at that point. Too much pain. Too much humiliation. He was _sick_ of Itachi. Just looking at him, accusing him of lying and calling him delusional was making him nauseated.

So he slammed his hand on the table, hard and loudly, as he furiously stood up and shouted, letting all his accumulated anger uncontrollably fire through every pore of this skin. "Why don't you ask me instead Orochimaru's formula? Do you think you'll find it there in that book?

"Your honor, the witness is uncooperative." He plead to the judge, but the old man has just been woken from his daytime sleep by the sudden explosion of loud expletives blurting out of the witness' uncontrollable mouth, and was still taking his time react.

"C'mon, ask me the fucking ingredients, _Mr. Uchiha_! I can make you a list of every fucking step, every fucking procedure, every fucking milligram of red phosphorous, iodine, anhydrous ammonia, lythyum-"

A wave of excited murmurs run across the room, as Sasuke kept listing all the ingredients and the necessary measures and mixtures needed to make Orochimaru's special meth formula, as if it was an ordinary culinary recipe.

"Your honor!" Itachi yelled, losing his composure altogether as he was clearly now visibly distressed.

The judge seemed a little too caught in surprise to react in time, as Shizune joined the storm to prevent Itachi having his way and started arguing loudly with him while Sasuke let everyone in the court room know how to make thirty tons of 94% pure Shabu, in case they don't find an equally satisfactory youtube tutorial.

"And you know how the fuck I know about shabu production,_ Itachi_?" Sasuke screamed, slamming his hand on the stand again. He was so fired up he didn't even realized he called the defense attorney by his first name. "Because your fucking client taught me, that's why!"

"Order now, order!" The judge's gavel insistent banging echoed across the room, as he finally found himself doing the job he was assigned to. His head then turns to Sasuke, who is still standing straight and shooting defiant glares to the defense lawyer. "The witness may sit down." He ordered.

Sasuke obeyed, though with reluctance. He still kept his glare fixated at Itachi. Itachi was glaring back.

"I'm going to give a 15 minute break for you to control your witness Miss Kato. If your witness misbehaves again or disrespects the court rules", the judge proceeded, talking about Sasuke as if he was an orphan raised by monkeys in a jungle "I will have his testimony permanently interrupted and you have to make the rest of your case without him. Is that clear?"

Shizune gulped "Yes your honor."

"The trial resumes after break." The judge hammered twice, instructing the presents to leave the room.

Two guards came to fetch Orochimaru and guide him through a different door located on the left side, and Sasuke watched in anger Itachi following the man until both of them disappeared from his sight. He was still fuming over Itachi's outrageous accusations; lucky for the Uchiha, that place was heavily guarded. Sasuke counted six guards only inside the court room, save the ones outside guarding the entrance. Wasn't it a bit too much?

The guy that had been sitting behind Orochimaru, the one whose name Sasuke couldn't seem to remember, slowly stood up from his seat and skirted the bench while staring intensely at him, with spite in his eyes. No doubt, he was definitely going to be used as a defense witness to discredit Sasuke's testimony. Too bad Sasuke didn't remember him. Maybe Suigestu knew who he was. He also noticed two other guys that had been sitting in the defense side, currently leaving the room for the break. They had been sitting in the end row seat, on the corner. He hadn't noticed them before. Were they kids from the farm house? Sasuke couldn't clearly see their faces from where he was standing. They quickly disappeared outside the main doors.

Now that thought about it, what happened to the others? Orochimaru had so many loyal children who admired him greatly. Why only that guy with spiteful eyes, and possibly the other two, were there? Sure there would be more willing to sit on the witness stand to testify in Orochimaru's favor. Unless…

"Did you like so much being a witness that you don't want to get out of there?"

The mocking tone in Shizune's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he realized he still hadn't move from his spot. The room was practically empty now, only the guards remained.

"Not really."

"I'm sorry, it was a tasteless joke." She said. She was smiling brightly. "You did great. Come, you deserve a break. You should eat something too."

"I'm not hungry."

He followed her through the room, heading toward the exit. Outside, Naruto and Sakura were still waiting; Sasuke had thought they had gone home, but seeing his friends there somehow made him feel a bit happier. The feelings of anguish and anger that he had felt so vividly moments ago were softened with the presence of people that (actually) cared about him.

Sasuke would rather stick his fingers in a triturating machine than admitting it out loudly, but it was really great he had friends like them. Really.

"So? How did it go?" Naruto asked impatiently. Shizune almost screamed in joy, praising Sasuke's performance in the witness stand with such enthusiasm it caught all of them in surprise.

"He completely destroyed the defense attorney's arguments! Oh my god I wish I could've filmed it! I've never seen an Uchiha so embarrassed in my life before!"

She looked like a squealing teenager who had her first trial in life. It was almost embarrassing.

Then suddenly, as if she spotted someone she was looking for, she quickly blurted a "be right back" and left the three of them to disappear in the corner.

"Wait, what did she mean with an Uchiha?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke sighed, already mentally picturing Naruto's reaction once he revealed the identity of the lawyer defending Orochimaru.

"Itachi is the defense attorney."

Sakura's eyes widened in shock. Naruto apparently needed more time to fully understand the meaning of that sentence. "What do you mean with that?"

"Geez Naruto!" Sakura complained, giving him a friendly slap on the head. "Itachi is defending Orochimaru!"

"Wha…no, that's impossible!" He shook his head, refusing to believe such fact. "I thought you guys were like boyfriends!"

Automatically Sasuke slammed his hand over his friend's open mouth, mashing his fingers against his teeth. Naruto had always been unable to control the volume of his voice since he learned how to speak.

"Keep it quite you idiot!" He grunted. "We're not boyfriends. We never were, and never will be."

Naruto removed his friend's already salivated hand from his mouth, but before he uttered something else, Sasuke shot him a warning glare. Still, he had to say it:

"But you were like, involved, weren't you? It's that like against the rules or something? If he's the defense lawyer and you're the main witness…"

"He has a point." Sakura said.

'_I know he has a point'_, he thought to himself, angrily cleaning Naruto's saliva by rubbing his hand against his jeans.

"Nobody knows about it." He said. He guessed there was no point in trying to deny that he had something non-heterosexual with Itachi to his friends. "And I wasn't on the witness' list until yesterday, so it's not like it matters."

"But if you tell Shizune what happened, maybe she can speak to the judge to have Itachi out of this case." Sakura suggested.

"And then what, have his far more experienced father representing Orochimaru himself?" Sasuke reasoned. His eyes narrowed and his teeth gritted as he remembered again Itachi's cold expression and his cruel attack against him. "No…I want Itachi to stay in this case. I want him to feel the humiliation of defeat."

Sakura cringed slightly upon seeing her friend and ex-lover suddenly so angry, with the muscles of his neck all tensed, when just moments ago he looked so happy and relaxed.

"That's the Sasuke I know!" Naruto cheered. "Arg, I can't beleavie Itachi is really defending that creep! It makes my blood boil! I swear to you, if he wins this case I'm personally going after him to kick his privileged white ass-"

"Don't say that, Naruto! Itachi is _not _going to win!" Sakura uttered.

As his friends argued excitedly with each other, Sasuke took the moment to completely cool his emotions down and to think. There was a lot of things he didn't tell Shizune, but there were also a lot of things he didn't know either before this trial. Like Ryo being missing. Probably dead. How many of them survived, after all? Shizune will need him to be involved in the investigation if she wanted to win the case. He knew both Orochimaru and Itachi better than her or anyone involved in this trial. And no one else desired Orochimaru's conviction and Itachi's defeat more than him at that moment.

He also needed to convince Suigetsu to testify. It was crucial. He could back up everything Sasuke said, because he also worked in the basement for far more time than Sasuke did, and not only that, he had also been a mule. Unlike Sasuke, his record was pretty clean. There was nothing relevant the defense could use against Suigetsu to discredit him. Save from the… 'indecent exposure' incident, but the charges were dropped he presumed.

Oh wait. The dead brothers. Suigetsu had also some problems with Sakon and Ukon if he recalls. But then again, everyone had problems with them, so there's nothing he could do about it. If they prepare him well in advance for every question or accusation Itachi might pin on him, then he should be okay. There are more advantages than disadvantages in bringing him to the witness stand.

Yes… They're going to win this case. He'll make sure Orochimaru will rot in jail for the rest of this life. The death penalty would be better. Unlikely though, since he's being defended by an Uchiha. Well, as long as Orochimaru gets convicted by his crimes.

And Itachi… he did not want to think about him right now. There was a vengeful desire swirling inside him that craved for his utter humiliation and the destruction of his career.

But deep, deep down - very deep down – he did not really want that.

**::**

Ibiko was waiting for her near the coffee machine, drinking a plastic cup of cheap decaf. His other hand was holding a plastic sheet protector, with a small piece of paper and an envelope tucked inside.

"The forensics found nothing." He said, giving her the item he was holding. "No fingerprints. Vulgar pen ink. The envelop also had nothing. Apparently the sender used glue on the postage stamp."

Shizune grabbed the transparent plastic sheet and gazed at the inside. The paper in question was a piece of a torn yellowed journal, with a written address in it in a clean handwriting. Someone had sent it to the police, in a white envelope addressed to Shizune specifically; someone that clearly wanted to remain anonymous.

"And the newspapers?"

"It seems to be an ordinary Chinese newspaper. Most probably from Mainland China. It would take months to indentify the publisher and edition, and I doubt it would serve any good."

She sighed, "You're right. But at least this confirms my first suspicious. And the address? Did you check it?"

"My insider says it's an old dealer's residence, but he has long retired himself from business. His house is just outside the Kyoto borders."

She scrutinized the handwriting in the piece of newspaper. When she first received that white envelope, with nothing but a torn piece of some Chinese newspaper inside where a strange Japanese address was scribbled down in clear black ink, she immediately suspected it was from someone connected to the Orochimaru's case. Most likely from one of the children that fled with Orochimaru to China, and that eventually returned to Japan, considering the postage stamp. Shizune had no other cases she was working on currently, and she had no past cases that involved drug crimes. This info _must_'ve come from someone close to Orochimaru, or at least from someone who knew Shizune was the one in charge of the case against Orochimaru. Someone who was too afraid speak. The length he went to conceal his identify was proof that this person was afraid of possible reprisals.

"And old dealer…" She mumbled, thinking. "Our mysterious sender is definitely one of Orochimaru's mules. Maybe he's trying to tell us who was the main dealer of Orochimaru's product when he worked in the Kyoto territory."

"I doubt we can extract anything from him." Ibiki said, referring to the dealer of the address. "He's very crafty. There's a reason why he always managed to escape from the claws of the national police, even though he's a zainichi (1). Plus he seems to be no longer active in the field."

"Tsk, that's because our national police has more cowardice and corruption than honesty and bravery…"

Her partner's forehead drew a heavy frown, and his lips curved slightly in disdain.

"As a former police agent, I find your statement not only a grave misrepresentation of the people who serve this country's citizens every day, but also highly offensive." He grunted. And he added, bitterly: "Especially coming from someone who has half the age and experience than myself."

Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "You're right, I'm sorry." She apologized, bowing her head. "I sometimes talk without thinking. But I'm not half your age."

Ibiki sighted, and smiled briefly. "Nevertheless I agree with you that there are some immoral and unworthy agents that do nothing but a disservice to this country. After all, that's how Orochimaru got away with his last conviction."

Shizune widened her eyes, surprised that her partner, who she had always assumed to be the biggest apologist of Japan's national police body, admitting that the system had flaws.

"I may be proud, but I'm not blind." Ibiki smiled slightly.

The evidences apprehended with the Orochimaru's child mules that were caught in Nagasaki mysteriously disappeared few days after he was arrested. One of the kids, named Hikaru, snapped and confessed everything, but he committed suicide afterwards, and the prosecution was only left with a signed confession in a paper as a proof. The other boy, older, sided with Orochimaru, and the defense used him to accuse the police officers of leading Hikaru to suicide, after forcing him to confess things against his will and using brutal methods of interrogation. In the end, Orochimaru was only convicted for tax evasion and money laundering.

One of the most revolting aspects of the trial was that, what the defense witness told about police interrogations wasn't exactly false. Three years latter a scandal was generated within the media and fed by sensationalist left-wing newspapers, accusing police officers of abusing human rights in interrogation rooms. An investigation ensued, and the discoveries led to three agents from the national police force who were charged of abuse of power. One of them had supervised Hikaru's interrogation. To make things worse, some of the media newspapers began speculating about corruption inside the Japanese police, which included evidence disappearing, forging new evidences and corrupting investigation for obscure purposes. Although none of it had been actually proven, the arguments were enough for the court to rule in favor Orochimaru's appeal when he asked his sentence to be nullified after serving four years. Because of that appeal, the prosecution was now forbidden to bring Orochimaru's last sentence to this trial, even though it was related to their case.

"I guess I'm just mad because if it weren't for some dirty police agents this case wouldn't be so difficult." Shizune sighed. She searched for some coins inside her pocket, hoping she had enough change for a cappuccino. "We don't even have a sample of his meth. There's no physical evidence."

"Maybe we can get some." Ibiki said. "I know Orochimaru's product is no longer circulating in the streets of Kyoto since he moved his production to China. I have third party information that he stopped exporting his product from China after the Nagasaki incident, and there is no information that his production in China continued after his imprisonment. His product may have now become a 'rarity'."

She puckered her eyebrows. "You're making it sound impossible to trace our evidence."

"On the contrary." He smirked. "Some old dealers store small doses of a product once they hear the production might cease. Once a product becomes a rarity in the streets, they start selling the reserves at absurdly high prices per dose. The meth circulating in the streets in Kyoto now is weak and extremely impure. The situation is perfect to arise a demand for old-school quality meth that is no longer circulating."

He grabbed the plastic sheet that Shizune was still holding, to look again at the written address in the piece of newspaper. "I have a feeling that the person who sent this to us knows that this dealer still has some stashes of Orochimaru's meth. The only thing we need is money, and I can have my insider buy us an individual dose for testing."

"But you said he's very crafty…" She said.

"He won't suspect from guy that is willing to spend lots of money to buy an individual dose of a product that's off the market. Dealers know how the police works. These inside operations cost a lot of time and money to the state, and the police is not willing to waste any extra money nor jeopardize months and years of hard-work only to accuse big profile dealers of petty crimes like selling an individual dose of drugs.

Her eyes brightened at the sudden realization. If they could get a sample of Orochimaru's meth, they could run a test to confirm Sasuke's testimony today. She still didn't know how they would manage it without bringing the dealer to trial to justify the obtained evidence, but she wasn't worried about it now.

"Tell your insider to ask for a gram of the old meth from Kyoto and inform me of the price!" She exclaimed, almost jumping in joy. "I'm going to work on my authorization requests… damn, I didn't bring change."

Ibiki reached his pocket and introduced some coins in the machine, so his partner could have her coffee.

"Thanks." She smiled, clicking on the bottom for a cappuccino, with extra sugar.

She needed her caffeine dose so much. She had been working on this case non-stop since it started. Not even a single moment of rest she allowed herself. It seemed a strikingly obvious case at first; everyone at the police knew Orochimaru was guilty from head to toes, but proving it was a different story. There were no physical evidences, and barely no witnesses. When her colleagues heard Uchiha Itachi was to be Orochimaru's defense attourney, they thought she was doomed to lose the case.

But…

"Ibiki…" she said pensively, as she waiting for the machine to finish her cappuccino "…remember the judge forbid us to bring Orochimaru's past accusations in this case? I think… the Uchiha just opened the door for us by talking about meth labs."

Ibiki smiled. "His mistake, our gain."

"Yes… a rather strange mistake."

"…what's wrong?"

The coffee machine halted; the green indicator lightened telling the coffee was ready. She opened the plastic door and removed the hot cup inside.

"I can't shake this feeling off my head that something is not quite right about the way the Uchiha conducted his interrogation."

"Why? It seemed normal to me. The manga argument seemed a bit far-fetched, but Sasuke handled it well."

"Exactly. It was too far-fetched. It's not a theory I'd imagine him to resort to. We can easily contest it. I've carefully read his previous case and the one he wrote for his father, and that's definitely not how I'd imagine him to proceed."

Her partner put his hand on her shoulder, in a comforting manner. "You're thinking too much. In my eyes, he behaved like a normal defense lawyer."

"Yeah, but he's supposed to be the best, not average."

"You're complaining?"

She brought the cup to her mouth and moaned when the hot liquid touched her lips. It was still too hot.

Yes, why she was complaining that the Uchiha wasn't doing an impressive job? Maybe because, deep down, she was a bit disappointed. She had devoted sleepless hours to study every single detail of the case, and imagine every possible angle of interpretation the defense could use to dismiss the facts. She read and re-read the previous cases of Uchiha Itachi; even though this was only his second official trial, he had written two cases for his father. And it was enough to convince her he was the best. Scary, even. Better than his father, and his father had already a reputation for being the best salvation to the worst criminal. Even in cases with astonishing amount of evidences, they always managed to get shockingly reduced sentences for their clients. Admittedly, she thought her chances of convicting Orochimaru with the death penalty were less than 1% when he heard the man hired Uchiha Itachi.

But strangely though…the trial wasn't revealing to be that bad. Was really this the best Uchiha Itachi could do, or did he have something else up his sleeve?

**::  
::**

(1) Zainichi: Japanese somewhat-degrading term that equates to 'second-class citizen', mainly used to refer to Korean immigrants that never acquired Japanese nationality and are often accused of being involved in criminal gangs (although most of them are just normal victims of Japanese xenophobia).

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_An (optional) question to my reviewers_: Do you watch action movies, or violent anime/manga? If so, do you have pet peeves about typical yet unrealistic plot devices that tend to be common in action/heroic-themed movies/anime/manga? Like when the main character/villain is shot five times and is still able to walk or other stupid things like that.

It's for my opening in the next chapter. I need inspiration.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter was actually ready a few days ago, but it took me a while to think up a good chapter title.

….Nah, I'm kidding. It only took me two hours.

**Warning:** Chapter is not beta-ed! It would take more time and I know some of you are still clicking on my page every single day (seriously, you guys should create an account). There are certainly some grammar mistakes here, because I'm not a native speaker.

* * *

**::**

**::**

_Love in Chinese readers' 10 Pieces of Advice for Anime and Movie Characters:_

1) If someone gets stabbed, don't pull the knife out. Fingerprints, fingerprints! Plus that's terrible first aid.

2) Concrete surfaces are made of concrete, not rubber. Concrete and bones do not collide well.

3) Not everyone can live after falling 30,000 feet out of a plane onto land. With no parachute.

4) Villains have to start learning how to aim at the main character, and not everything else around.

5) Don't talk while you fight. Don't reveal to the enemy your secret weapons, your plans, and specially, don't state the fucking obvious.

6) The only place in your body where you can be shot 5 times and still walk away fine is probably in your ass.

7) Irrelevant characters need to start taking less time to die. No, we don't want to hear your painfully long sobbing story. YOU WERE FUCKIN' SHOT IN THE HEART, just die already.

8) Random dudes that appear out of nowhere with super-speshul-one-of-a-kind things that save the dying hero last minute are sure efficient, but please, call an ambulance next time.

9) Useless hot character is useless. The only time they serve a purpose is to make Pointless Characters in Movie History lists.

10) To all you cute, fair-skinned female characters: stop being kidnapped all the time. That is all.

_(a/n: there were a lot other great ones – go check the reviews for the previous chapter!)_

**::**

Finding Suigetsu's home was like asking for directions to China from North Korea. Not even GPS could find the place, and there was no use in asking the locals because they only gave mixed information. Although he lived in Japan for all his life, Sasuke had yet to understand how the Japanese numeric address system worked; nevertheless, Suigetsu decided to make it even more challenging to find Wally by moving into an half building in the middle of two semi-legal buildings without door numbers. Sasuke still didn't understand how he got his mail, if he had any.

Now that he had memorized the path, it didn't take a lot of time for him to arrive. Sasuke called his friend's house a half-building, because it didn't have enough large space to be considered normal building. It was literary a thin rectangle box squeezed between two buildings, built in a place that was supposed to be an alley. Although it had two floors and a loft, the ground floor was almost entirely occupied by the block of stairs that led to the upper level. There was a very small corridor at the left between the staircase and the sidewall, which led to a tiny bathroom in the end tucked inside the block of stairs. Needless to say, access to that bathroom offered serious challenges to big-boned visitors.

The stairs led to a sliding screen at the end, and behind the sliding screen there was a small sized room for shoes and an additional L-shaped block of wooden chairs that led to the first and main floor of the building. Suigetsu called it the "studio". This was where he spent most of his life, with a small kitchenette in the north side, a TV with DVD player in the middle, and his working desk on the opposite side, in front of the only window, that offered a lovely view to the back of the building. The storing space was built inside the walls, which didn't offer much space either, but Suigetsu was neither a man of great possessions. Immediately next to the entrance there was a petite metal staircase nailed to the wall, which led to the loft, were his sleeping futon was.

Suigetsu greeted him half-naked, as usual. He and clothes never got along very well, though ever since he got fined for indecent exposure, he started being more careful. That incident happened in one of the many occasions Suigetsu was too lazy to put on some clothes only to fetch some food, and so he would just wear a long overcoat tied around his nudity. That day he could not predict the pervert windy weather, and an old lady passing by was forced to see the precious jewels of another man that wasn't her husband. From then on he started to wear, at least, underwear inside in his house, in the event of having to leave the house in a windy day again.

"What a surprise. To what do I owe the honor of your visit?" He asked with sarcasm.

The studio was a mess. His cleaning logic was something Sasuke would never understand; Suigetsu kept his clothes in the same storing space of his books. His CD collection didn't even have a proper storing place, as small piles of CDs ad DVDs were scattered around the house. Although he didn't have the habit of leaving his clothes all over the room like Naruto, he had a very unattractive pile of used underwear in a corner.

"You do have a laundry nearby." Sasuke said, pointing to the pile of underwear.

"Don' start. I have to wear a lot of boxers to fill a machine. I'm not going to spend money just to wash five boxers."

"You could also start wearing more clothes…"

"Did you come here just to give me a lecture?"

Sasuke shrugged not really caring about reasoning with Suigetsu. He functioned on his own, that's what mattered. He figured everyone that survived Orochimaru's farm had developed some kind of disorder anyway.

He scrutinized the room for a place to seat. It was obvious Suigetsu didn't receive many visitors, neither was he interested to. It's not like his place had space for a dinner or tea table, and he only had two sitting pillows in front of the small TV. After pondering for a short while, Sasuke decided to sit on the desk chair.

"I went to court to testify against Orochimaru." He said. He decided to go straight to business. "I need you to do the same."

Suigetsu widened his eyes. "Wow, wow…" He raised his hands in defense, in a dramatic reaction against his friend's audacious suggestion. "You know why I came to this place, do you? So to no one finds me unless I want to. If I testify against Orochimaru, he's gonna send one of his trained-to-be-psychopath sons after me the moment I step out of the court."

"If he really wanted us dead, he would've done it long time ago." Sasuke replied. "I testified yesterday and I'm still alive."

"Tsk, he can't kill you… I bet he still believes you're still going to come back to him."Suigestu reached the desk behind his friend, searching for his cigarette pack in the middle of the scattered papers.

"I doubt that he would wait that long."

"Do you really? The guy was really obsessed with you. Hey, you even took bath with him!"

Visibly irritated with his friends' remark, Sasuke brusquely stood up and launched himself at him. Suigetsu tried to evade the attack, but his escape was barred by a wall, and he couldn't avoid Sasuke's merciless grip on his crotch.

"I already told you those weren't baths," he grunted, "and I never took a dip with him in the tank." He felt the need to add that detail. "It was nothing special."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, please!" He yelled in despair. Sasuke stepped back and let him curl over his pained groin.

' _If it was nothing special, then why do you always get angry whenever I mention it…'_ He thought to himself, but opted not to speak out loud. As much as he liked to tease his friend, sometimes he forgot that it wasn't recommendable to irritate Sasuke when you're in a confined space like your house, without enough room to run away from him. Apparently the idiot was even forced to have anger management therapy, but those sessions obviously didn't have a great effect on him. You can't domesticate rabid dogs.

It was a pity that he was so reserved and barely ever talked about what happened during those days, because Suigetsu was really curious about knowing if some of the rumors were true. Sasuke had a special treatment; everyone knew he was Orochimaru's favorite. Orochimaru did try his best to turn him into the psychopathic wacko like him, so Sasuke had to endure some crazy shit from the man. No wonder he was still a bit fucked up in the head. A lot of kids were envious of Sasuke, something Suigetsu could not understand why. He was sure as hell he would've never wanted to be asked the 'honor' to join Orochimaru in his weird blood baths for his skin treatment. Rumors said he filled some sort of tank-shaped bathtub with pig's blood and plunged in naked like a crazy person from a witchcraft movie. Some guys said it wasn't real blood, it was just chemicals, but still. The guy was a total wacko.

"If you want to convince me to testify, you'll have to use more convincing methods than squeezing a guy's balls." Suigetsu complained. "I still have plans to reproduce, you know."

Sasuke was seated on his desk's chair again, looking nonchalantly unpressed with a slightly raised eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"You are really arrogant. If you were more humble like a normal friend, I would even reconsider your request-"

Suigetsu was interrupted but the doorbell's ringing, surprising him. He wasn't expecting anyone. Then again, he was never expecting anyone.

He walked to the door phone near the kitchenette. Two strange guys appeared in the camera of the door station, heads facing down making it difficult to see their faces. "Who the hell are these clowns now?"

Sasuke stood up and walked toward Suigetsu, trying to see if he could recognize the visitors on the screen. For some reason, he had a bad feeling about this.

"Wait." Sasuke halted his friends' movement, who was ready to pick up the phone. They rang again. "I think I saw these guys are the courthouse yesterday."

Sasuke never saw their faces properly, but he remembered their profiles and the dark suits. One of them was too large to fit in the suit.

"Huh?!" Suigetsu stared wide-eyed at him, not wanting to believe what Sasuke just said. "How the hell they came here? Were you followed?!"

"Impossible."

There was no way they could have followed him. He liked speeding, it was impossible for a car to follow him. Unless they came in a motorcycle as well…? But in that case, he would've noticed he was being followed. Wouldn't he?

"They probably knew where you live."

"That's impossible! This place is extremely difficult to find" Suigetsu grunted, and pointed at the door phone in an accusing gesture. "You were followed you moron! Now I have two disciples from Orochimaru out there ready to kill me. I'm fucked!"

He brought his hands to his head, expressing his despair.

"Don't be so dramatic."

"How can you be so calm- are you still on your anger therapy medication?!"

Sasuke ignored his friends' erratic screams and insults and ran to the window that led to the back of the building. There was nobody there. He sighed in relief; it was only those two that were there. But they could have guns.

He came back to the kitchenette and started opening the drawers, trying to find something that could be used as a weapon. He only found Suigetsu's socks. Incredible. He couldn't believe this guy store his socks on the same place he prepared his food.

"Do you have any knives?" He asked.

"I only have one, it's inside the fridge…"

"_Inside_ the fridge?"

"Yeah, next to the butter… why are you looking at me like that, I don't cook okay?"

The doorbell rang again. They were getting impatient.

His heart was beating fast, but he forced himself to say calm as he opened the fridge to search for the only knife Suigetsu owned. He found it next to the butter, a rusty piece of metal with the tip broken. Great. The only self-defense weapon they had so far was a Chinese piece of shit covered in butter.

"Don't you dare take the knife!" Suigetsu snapped the utensil out of his hand, angry. "You find something else to defend yourself, because this is all your fault."

"Do you have anything else that could be used as a weapon?" Sasuke yelled back, irritated.

Suigetsu looked at the knife he was holding and realized, alarmed, that thing was not threatening at all. The tip was broken and it wasn't even sharpened. He probably couldn't even stab a dead chicken with it.

"You think we have time to sharpen some chopsticks?"

Suddenly, there was a loud bang outside. They both looked at the door screen; the uncalled visitors were trying to break open the building's door, forcing their way in. The lock was old and rusty, so it wouldn't take much time before the door ceded.

"Shit, they're trying to break into!"

Suigetsu was clearly panicking. Sasuke sighed heavily, trying to clear his mind. One of them had to stay calm and think. Suigetsu was out of the question.

He looked around. Suigetsu still had an old microwave. Those models were very heavy.

"What are you doing to my microwave?"

Sasuke pulled the electric cable out of the plug and took the machine from the balcony with both hands. It was fucking heavy.

"Let's take this to upstairs." He said, eyeing the wall ladder that led to the loft.

"Why?"

"Just do what I say!"

Suigetsu complied without further questions and ran to the metal ladder. Within a second his body crossed over the square hole in the ceiling disappearing in the top floor. Supporting himself on the weight of his lower body he emerged from the hole, stretching his arms to receive the machine. Sasuke lifted with some difficulty the machine above his head, waiving it until his friend's hands finally seized it and started to pull.

"Fuck, this shit is heavy!"

"Don't drop it on me!"

Taking a deep breath, Suigetsu managed to pull the heavy weight until it landed soundly on the wooden floor upstairs. Immediately after Sasuke joined him on the loft, climbing the ladder quickly.

"Listen." He said. "There are only two of them. As soon as they get in they'll go straight to the studio and when they realize that nobody is there, one of them will try to climb the ladder. As soon as you see his head coming up, hit him with the microwave. It will be enough to put him unconscious."

"What are you going to do?" Suigetsu asked, worried.

"I'm gonna hide in the bathroom in the ground floor, and I'll attack the second guy from behind once you drop the microwave."

"What if they go check the bathroom first?"

"They'll be in hurry, and probably won't pay much attention to that small corridor. One of them is too large to pass through. Even if the slim one stays behind, I'll be locked in the bathroom until you take care of the other."

In moments like this, they could thank the architect who built the house like that. Even if the guy decided to check the bathroom first, he would have great difficulty in breaking open that door, because the corridor didn't provide enough space for the impact required. The other would still be forced to check the rest of the house alone and Suigetsu would be there waiting for him with that microwave. After that, it would be two against one. It was a good plan.

"I have an old pan beneath the sink!" Suigetsu said. "You can use that to attack the other guy. It's behind the cleaning products!"

Sasuke nodded, wondering again how Suigetsu thought it was logical to store cooking utensils next to cleaning products. Good thing he never cooked. As he prepared to climb down, Suigetsu suddenly grabbed his arm and inquired, with a concerned look on his face. "You're not going to run away, right?"

But Sasuke only gave him and half-angry stare: "You really think so?"

Suigetsu smiled in relief. He didn't even know why he made that question. Sasuke never ran away from a fight or a compromise. Maybe it was just panic.

How odd. Back in the farm house, violent conflicts between mules was your daily drama. Even when they went on delivery tasks, they never knew what could happen to them. He saw kids being stabbed in front of him. Self-defense was empirical knowledge; fear was your only friend.

But that was years ago. He could barely remember what danger was. He was no longer used to violence. In the first place he lived after he ran away, a homeless shelter, Suigetsu still carried a pocket knife with him. He'd carry the weapon everywhere, even to his first and second jobs. But he lost it meanwhile, shortly after he moved to that house. He was no longer afraid.

Except now. Orochimaru had many opportunities to kill him in the past, and he only remembers to do it now? Talk about bad timing! Now that he no longer had his pocket knife with him.

Only a rusty knife with a broken tip.

A loud, crash noise was heard in the ground floor. Those rascals finally managed to break the lock. He felt his heart jump and stuck in his throat.

Calm down. They were going to make through this. The plan was perfect. No, _that house_ was perfect for a plan like that. He couldn't have chosen a better place to live. It had also been a market bargain.

The microwave was really heavy, but he slowly picked it up and stood up, trying to not make a sound. Since he was in the loft, the low height of the roof made it impossible for him to stand up straight without bending his neck, but he still tried to remain glued to the wall in that uncomfortable position as soundless as he could. He heard them passing through the sliding door and reaching the studio quickly. Apparently, none of them decided to check the bathroom first. Sasuke was right, they probably didn't even notice the corridor.

Unfortunately for him, the two men took a little time rummaging the room. He didn't know what they were expecting to find there. Maybe they thought there was nobody home. The muscles of his arms were already aching in pain when one of the guys finally decided to climb up the ladder. He barely had time to realize someone was on the top floor. He opened his mouth in surprise right in the moment Suigetsu dropped the heavy machine on his head, making him fall off the ladder. The microwave produced an almost deafening sound when it hit the floor, its door dissembled from the machine and the intruder's body landed on top of it soundly and motionless. Ouch.

His partner screamed, and then the Unexpected - a gun.

The other guy had run to the ladder and started shooting from down there through the hole. Suigetsu ran to the farthest corner of the room, hoping Sasuke appeared before this guy remembered to climb the ladder too. He seized tightly the knife in his hand, just in case.

And then suddenly he heard the loud, shrill noise of two metal objects colliding. Sasuke's pan hit the gun. Not the guy, unfortunately; although he screamed in pain, Suigetsu heard two bodies fighting and things being thrown all around the room. Shit. Sasuke failed. Now this was going to be more complicated than they had planned.

He stood up and ran to the ladder, and that's when the worst happened. A gunshot, followed by Sasuke's scream. Alarmed, he practically jumped to the lower floor and threw himself to the attacker, making both of them fall on the floor. The gun flew from his hand, landing somewhere on the disordered room. Still holding the knife firmly, he tried to stab him in the stomach.

But the metal, instead of ripping through flesh, just twisted and bent over until it broke off. What the fuck-

Punch.

A strong tight fist hit his noise, and Suigetsu felt it like a bag of bricks landing on his face. There was a 'crunch' sound and then the pain. He was sure he saw stars. He probably screamed, he didn't know; he knew it hurt like a motherfucker. Blood was pouring down his nostrils blocking his mouth and making him spit.

He didn't understand well happened next, as he tried to regain focus while his broken nose was still aching like hell. A giant black guy suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and started fighting against their attacker. Both tripped on the unconscious body of the other man, and continued punching each other. Suigetsu didn't pay them much attention; because he turned his head to find Sasuke seated against the balcony, with his bloodied hand over his bloodied shoulder. Ignoring the pain in his nose he ran to him, yelling:

"Shit, you got shot! Shit, shit, shit!"

Sasuke tried to say something, but he could barely articulate any audible sound with all the noise in the room. He cringed in pain. There was a lot of blood. At least it was the shoulder. That's good, isn't it?

Shit, what should he do? He had to stop the bleeding. That's basic first aid knowledge, right? He reached the drawer and removed a pair of socks, tied the edges and wrapped it around his friend's shoulder, compressing the wound as best he could. Sasuke winced when Suigetsu pulled his unmoving arm to wrap the fabric under his armpit, but didn't emit any sound. He was also freaking pale.

"We have to drive him to the hospital."

The stranger's voice made him jump in scare. Suigetsu turned around and saw the huge black-skinned guy that had been fighting against their attacker. He was so tall, it looked like his head touched the ceiling.

"BBD? What the fuck?!"

The attacker lied unconscious on the floor, next to his partner. Oscar The Barman bent over and picked Sasuke's barely responding body. There was a trail of blood left on the balcony and on the floor.

Not knowing what else to do, Suigetsu slipped on a pair of sneakers and followed Oscar to the ground floor. The barman had some difficulty in climbing down the stairs while carrying Sasuke's body over his huge arms, because he was too tall for the ceiling. Once downstairs, Suigetsu noticed with dismay that the entrance door had been completely smashed, even the hinges broke. He could only hope that nobody decided to walk into house and steal his laptop. Actually, he hoped his laptop had survived the fight, because his microwave and his TV were sure gone now.

"Keep the pressure over the wound with the heel of your hand." Oscar said, while he positioned Sasuke's body on the back seat of his car. Of all the people in the world, Suigetsu never thought BBD's car of choice was a Toyota. That car looked a bit too small for him.

Oscar sat quickly on the driver's seat, while Suigetsu skirted around and entered through the other door, sitting next to friend. Sasuke offered no resistance when he pulled his head to his lap so he could follow Oscar's instructions and keep the pressure of his hand over the wound. His friend didn't even moan. His eyes were closed now, his face still pale as hell.

"Hey, hey…Sasuke, hey, wake up, man…" He tried to shake his body, but Sasuke was unresponsive. "Hey, BBD I think Sasuke passed out!"

"Don't shake him you moron!" BBD yelled, as he started the engine and hit the accelerator. "He's body is just in shock. He's still breathing, right?"

He put his hand over his nose. Warm air, cold skin.

"Yes. But he's cold."

"How about the bleeding?" Oscar looked at him through the mirror.

Suigetsu analyzed the tourniquet made of socks; the fabric was drenched in blood, but it was starting to dry up. "I don't know but he doesn't look like it's bleeding much now."

"Well, that's good. Another question, Suigetsu…"

"Yes?"

"Why are you naked?"

**:: ::**

Sasuke woke up with the worst nausea feeling and a dormant sensation through all his body. The white room slowly became clear as the blurriness of his vision faded. Suigetsu was the first person he saw, sitting in a chair next to him dressed in a hospital white robe.

"Hey, you're okay man?"

He smiled. His nose looked pretty ugly, all swollen and asymmetrical. Before Sasuke was able to reply, the nausea feeling climbed to his head and blocked his throat. A nurse ran to him with a basin and helped him seat while he vomited stomach liquid into the basin.

"It's the anesthesia." She explained to Suigetsu. "Some people throw up."

"But he'll be fine, right? Hey Sasuke, can you talk? Say something. You had to receive a blood transfusion damn it, you scared the hell out of me."

"I hear you." Sasuke grunted, cleaning his mouth on the towel given by the nurse. His voice was hoarse, but audible. He was still feeling a bit sick; his whole body ached and he couldn't open his left eye. He knew he had a black eye. But he was fine. Considering.

"I can't feel my arm." He complained. It was the only part of his whole aching body that he couldn't feel.

"Please don't do anything until the doctor arrives." She said. "After the anesthesia wears off, you'll need complete rest for the month at least while your shoulder recovers. Do not force it, otherwise it can develop further complications."

She took the basin and the towel with her and left the room. Suigetsu followed her movements with scrutinizing eyes, tilting his head sideways for a better glimpse of the young nurse's legs through the back slip of her uniform.

"Fortunately, the doctors managed to remove all the bullet fragments from your shoulder without serious damage. You'll recover just fine."

BBD's voice surprised Sasuke, as he didn't even notice he was in the room too. He turned his head to see the familiar figure of his favorite barman leaning against the wall, next to the window.

"What are you doing here?"

"He saved us." Suigetsu explained. "Don't you remember?"

Vaguely. He remembered fighting against that large guy with a terrible breath and he remembered being shot. The rest of his memory was like fragmented images that didn't make much sense. He remembered being carried by a black guy and also the image of a doctor holding scary-looking medical nippers in front of him. He actually thought he dreamed with that.

"Bullet fragments?"

"Yeah, those motherfuckers used fragmented bullets. Typical, for a sadist psychopath like Orochimaru. You were lucky man, the bullet didn't completely fragment and the doctor said you'll recover completely. But one of the fragments hit an artery or something and the doctor said if we took longer your arm could've been amputated! Can you believe how lucky you are?"

Yes, he couldn't believe that. Itachi tried to accuse him of murder and the next day he gets shot by two guys that were probably after Suigetsu. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

"But you still didn't answer me, what were you doing there?" Suigetsu asked the barman.

"About that." Oscar thrusted his body off the wall and removed a piece of paper from his jacket. He walked toward Suigestu. "I came to give you your bill. You own two months of vodka consumption to Genma."

Suigetsu eyed Oscar with a puzzled expression as the man gave him a long printed invoice detailing all the drinks he has consumed in the bar, without paying.

"You came to my house just to give me this?!"

"Yes, and I tell you that it took me two hours to find it." He said with an unenthusiastic smile. Then he turned his head and glared at Sasuke. "If I knew you were with him, I'd have brought your own too."

"What's this all of the sudden?" Suigetsu complained. He still couldn't believe BBD came all the way just give him his bill. He thought he had an agreement with Genma.

"Genma is having some financial problems." Oscar said. "He's saying he won't let you in before you pay what you own."

"Tsk." Suigetsu bit his inferior lip as he looked at the astronomic figure at the end of the bill. He had no idea he had consumed that much. How was he supposed to pay all of that now?

"But take it on the bright side." Oscar continued, now smirking. "If it weren't for your debts, by now you would be meeting your maker."

"Hey, I would've handled the motherfucker if he hadn't broken my nose." Suigetsu grunted, pointing to the swelling around his broken nose.

"That really looks ugly." Sasuke commented.

"Wait until you see your sexy black eye in the mirror." Suigetsu replied with a wry expression, and then he turned his attention back to Oscar. "What did you do to him anyway? Did you kill him?" He asked, referring to the attacker that Oscar knocked down.

"No. The police are probably handling them right now." The older man paused to glance at his wrist watch. "Well, I have to go. Take care of your friend, Suigetsu. And remember to dress next time you wake up."

The barman left the room, leaving a grimacing Suigetsu behind. It wasn't exactly a fun experience for him to drop at hospital wearing nothing but bloodied underwear and sneakers. After they finally put Sasuke in a stretcher trolley, BBD disappeared inside the Emergency section with Sasuke while Suigetsu was left behind, not knowing what do to. They didn't let him in because of their stupid one-family-member-only accompanying rules (BBD was not even a family member, how could they have missed that?). Eventually a nurse approached him and asked him to follow her to another room, but not before she looked at his underwear with a slightly disturbed face.

"It's not my blood! It's my friends' blood, okay?" He explained, lest she started thinking that he tried self-circumcision at home.

The nurse was very unpleasant though. She made him a lot of questions about his personal information and medical history. He told her he had never been to a hospital before and she gave him a dumbfounded look, as if he had been living in another planet until now. The doctor was so much nicer than her and even scolded the nurse for not giving him at least a robe to cover himself. She was also quite hot for her age. She was probably in her 40's, but he could tell she took good care of herself. Suigetsu actually preferred older women. He didn't understand most men's fascination with virgin schoolgirls. They're so boring in bed.

But the only thing the doctor did was giving him a pain killer and some ice. She said he'd have to come back after the swelling goes down to correct the bone fracture, but as much tempting as it was the idea of seeing her again – as well as recovering his symmetrical face – he didn't have insurance. His finances weren't the best at the moment either. His house was destroyed. And now he had an alcohol debt with Genma.

He should just send all his bills to Orochimaru.

"Odd…" Sasuke commented, interrupting his thoughts. Suigetsu looked at him, finding his friend staring blankly at the ceiling.

"What?"

"Odd that BBD didn't ask any questions."

He raised an eyebrow. Yes, now that he thought about it…BBD didn't ask a single question about who were those guys attacking them. He didn't try to question Suigetsu either, before Sasuke woke up from the surgery. One would expect him to demand some explanations… right?

"Maybe he thought they were only robbers."

"You mentioned Orochimaru's name." Sasuke said. "Even if he doesn't read the newspapers, one would expect him at least to be curious about our connection with him and the attackers."

"Yeah, you're right… well, BBD has always been the quite type. Maybe he doesn't want to get involved."

"He's already involved."

"Maybe he still has difficulty with the Japanese language."

"He speaks better Japanese than half the guys I know."

"Okay, are you suggesting he knows what was going on?" Suigetsu asked, confused.

Sasuke didn't respond immediately, but continued to look away with an enigmatic expression on his face. He was quiet for a few seconds, as if he was still trying to rationalize his thoughts. Finally, he said something:

"I just find his excellent timing suspicious."

Suigetsu stoop up brusquely from his chair. "How can you say that?! If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be alive with both of your arms still attached to your body!"

Sasuke just remained silent, staring at the ceiling. He had that blank look on his eyes again. It looked like he finally gave up on overthinking too much.

Suigetsu sighed, and sat back on the chair. Sometimes his friend pissed him off a bit with his impertinence. BBD was the coolest guy he knew, and he was sure ready to punch anyone who dared to say bad things about him. He always took care of them; once he even paid his taxi home after he drank too much and never asked the money back. And Sasuke didn't know this, but the last time he got himself into a fight with three thugs outside the bar, it was BBD who saw it through the window of the kitchen and asked Suigetsu to go see what was going on. He only didn't go because the guy who was waiting for a drink next him overheard and volunteered to save Sasuke's sorry drunken ass. Apparently that guy, according to BBD, was the man Sasuke's ex-girlfriend dumped him for. Seriously, Sasuke couldn't have reached a new low, Suigetsu almost felt sorry for his pathetic ego.

But doubting BBD's good-hearted intentions was simply inexcusable. BBD might have as well saved Sasuke's life twice, and he never thanked him once.

"I'm not suggesting BBD is conspiring with Orochimaru, if that's what you're thinking." Sasuke said suddenly, pulling Suigetsu out of his angry thoughts.

"Then what are you trying to suggest?"

"I don't know… It's just… arg, forget it. Maybe it's the anesthesia."

He made a silly smile, and that was enough for their friendship to get back to normality. Yes, Sasuke sometimes was bit insensitive with his comments, but deep down, he was a good guy. And Suigetsu knew he cared about BBD too, although he had a hard time expressing it.

"Hey Sasuke." He asked, "How tall do you think BBD is?"

It wasn't exactly an important question, but it's not like they had anything else to talk about. Suigetsu was not willing to go home after Orochimau's lapdogs tried to kill him. And it's not like he had any other place to crash in, so he might as well stay in the hospital as long as he could.

"About 200 cm?" (1)

"Nah, he's definitely over 2 meters tall. Probably 210 cm. The studio's ceiling is over 2 meters and he was so tall I think his head touched the ceiling."

"Your ceiling is not over 2 meters. I can touch it easily with the palm of my hand."

"Bullshit, you're not that tall. I can only touch it with my fingertips."

"I'm over 175 cm."

"You're so full of bullshit! You are, at the very best, 172 cm. And I'm being generous."

Sasuke sighed, annoyed. "Why are we even discussing my height? You're shorter than me."

"Well, I am bigger in other parts." Suigetsu said with a grin.

Sasuke glared down at him with a peevish expression on his face, obviously not appreciating the comparison.

"Wanna bet?" Suigetsu teased.

"I'm not sure what you're suggesting…"

"We go to my house, watch some porn movies and we measure."

Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. "And meanwhile I suppose we fix your house' entrance door?"

"Oh shit, I forgot." His eyes widened, the grin faded as he was reminded again the sad condition of his life now. "We can't go back to my house..."

This was probably the first time Sasuke saw his friend with such a sad, hopeless expression. He had always been good at hiding his own personal problems with his goofy personality, but now he seemed really lost.

"You know, you can-"

But before Sasuke could say anything else, the door opened like a thunderclap and an orange figure burst into the room, causing Suigetsu jumping out of his chair in fright.

"SASUKE! Sakura told me you were shot!"

Suigetsu released a gusty sigh. It was just that Sasuke's stupid blond friend. That little punk made him think for a moment that Orochimaru had sent more disciples to finish the task. He recognized the girl that dumped Sasuke following him behind. She was kinda cute, but uninteresting. She had no boobs.

"Geez, for a moment I thought you were warning us about the end of the world." Suigetsu joked.

They ignored him completely.

Instead, they ran toward the bed and bombed Sasuke with questions after questions, not even giving him time to answer. Sometimes Suigetsu wondered how Sasuke, of all the people he knew, could have so much patience for them when Suigetsu himself was already having headaches just hearing them talking at the same time.

"How did you know I was here anyway?" Sasuke had to raise his voice to be heard over the blond guy's incessant questionnaire. He was looking a bit annoyed already.

"My mother works here as a doctor, remember?" Sakura explained. She also looked a bit annoyed. It seemed like everyone was annoyed in that room. How beautiful friendship was.

Naruto turned his head to Suigetsu, finally recognizing his presence in the room. "But what were these guys doing at _your_ house?" He asked in an accusing tone, as if Suigetsu was the one to blame for the fact that their poor friend ended up in a hospital bed.

"Orochimaru probably sent them to kill Suigetsu." Sasuke said.

"_Or_ they followed you." Suigetsu added sharply.

"You should've run away instead of staying there and trying to fight them." Sakura stated.

"Hey, thanks a lot! It was Sasuke's stupid plan that got us into this situation, for your information."

"Yes, because your plan of sharpening chopsticks was obviously better." Sasuke snorted.

Two knocks on the door forced the heated conversation to be interrupted, and two police officers stepped in the room. "We're sorry for the interruption, but we have some questions to make. Can you two give us some minutes?"

The question was an invitation for Naruto and Sakura to leave the room and let the police do their job. Sakura nodded in understanding, pulling her friend by his arm.

"We wait outside. By the way Sasuke, my mother has already called Asuma. They are on their way."

"Is Kurenai coming too?" Suigetsu asked eagerly.

Sakura grimaced in disgust at his pervert comment, and stopped in front of him, half-way to the door. She wiggled two fingers and pinched his swollen nose, making him fall back on the chair with the pain. "Ouch, that hurts you bitch!" He screamed, protecting his sensitive nose with both of his hands.

"Serves you right." She said, and left the room with Naruto.

Sasuke couldn't hide a little smile of amusement.

**:: ::**

Oscar left the hospital building, feeling strangely happy. It was a mere coincidence to find Sasuke there too, but fortunately he had arrived just in time. The boy was lucky that the bullet didn't completely fragment. He could've lost his arm, or worst. Oscar didn't even want to think about it.

His cell phone rang. He was already expecting this call.

"There were two of them. One was already down when I arrived." He said. "I took care of the other. The boys are safe."

"_The boys?"_ The voice on the other side inquired.

"Sasuke was there too. He got shot, but he'll be fine."

"_Where is he?"_

"City Hospital, room 405."

"_Thank you. Please dispose of this cell phone."_

He hung up.

**::**

**::**

(1) 200 cm = 6'7"

175 cm = 5'9"

172 cm = 5' 7.7" (?)

* * *

Wow, this time it took me almost an year to update :/ I'm really sorry...-.-

And thank you so much for your reviews. A lot of you left great reviews I didn't reply :/ I have no excuse this time :/

(Btw, are there any Buck-Tick fans here?)


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